‘My sister-in-law wants to use our late son’s name for her baby’

The woman and her husband were devastated when they found out what her SIL was planning on naming her baby.
The woman and her husband were devastated when they found out what her SIL was planning on naming her baby.  Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto

A mother who tragically lost her baby is in an awkward position after her sister-in-law announced she wants to 'honour' her son by giving her baby the same name.

The woman, writing on Reddit, explained that she lost her son Tom eight months ago to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

"It was horrible and so devastating, my life got completely ruined and I have been a mess since the day my baby was taken away from me," she wrote.

"I have been distancing myself from my family, so I didn't know [about] what was going on in their lives," she admitted, saying she found out her brother and sister-in-law were expecting after they came to visit her after finding out their babies gender.

"He told me that they were expecting a baby boy," she wrote. "I was so happy for him, he told me that his wife suggested naming their son after my son as a way to honour him, I was taken aback."

"I felt uncomfortable and asked if they were considering other names, he said yes but my sister in law was insisting on Tom and my mum strongly agrees with her."

The couple were upset when they found out the name.

The couple were upset when they found out the name. Photo: Getty Images

The grieving woman explained that her sister-in-law constantly tries to pick fights with her, and she feels that she's choosing the name out of spite.

"This woman literally cried when I gave birth to my son out of hate," she said incredulously.  "She hates my husband and disrespects him all the time, she treats us badly but put on a nice face for the family."

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However, it soon became clear that her sister-in-law wasn't going to budge on the name, even referring to their unborn baby as "our Tom".

"My husband got very upset and his face was red," she said. "I politely asked her if she could consider another name seeing how sensitive we were, she said no."

"I told her that [she] can't spite me by naming her baby after mine, that's messed up," the upset woman said. "She lashed out and said that I have no say and that I should get over myself cause I looked pathetic for saying this."

It ended in an argument with the woman's husband refusing to visit them again, "because she was clearly using our loss and grief against us and is acting all innocent."

Redditers agreed that the woman had every right to be upset, and if her sister-in-law really cared she would hae dismissed the name once she knew how upset it made her.

"She's not honouring your son by tormenting his grieving parents," one user pointed out.

"This is absolutely unforgivable. I'm usually not a fan of ultimatums, but I think this calls for one."

"They've always only put themselves first," another user observed.

"It's time you start putting yourself (and your husband) first."