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A lesson in disappointment

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SarDonik

I get that she is disappointed, but I think it's either herself or her coaching team/parents that have failed her by firstly putting too much expectation on her and secondly being too focused on getting gold. She should have been mentally prepared to not get gold and be proud of her silver medal. The British swimmer Addlington was favourite to win her event, she's the defending Olympic champion, she got bronze and was beaming from ear to ear. It's poor sportsmanship and really in a way devalues 2nd & 3rd positions.

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MrsLexiK
I wondered at the environment she came from where she would think to say "I've let my parents down..."

 

Me too, I felt so sorry for her that she felt like that. God it wouldn't matter if my child didn't even make the squad I would be proud of them. I think the fact her parents were elite and still put that pressure on her is horrible. I am so glad my parent (who was a good athelet) and my other parent (who was just ok) didn't put that same pressure on us. Hell - we bombed out in their chosen sport and hated it.

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Aquamarine

I think the photo going around says it all!

 

The gold medal winner is happy, the silver medal winner is shocked and upset, and the bronze medal winner is ecstatic!

 

If she isn't happy with her performance, she only has herself to blame.. But happy, sad or otherwise, she shouldn't be downplaying the silver! Imagine all the children and teenagers watching, thinking to themselves 'Wow, second place is a failure' :(

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SarDonik
Imagine all the children and teenagers watching, thinking to themselves 'Wow, second place is a failure' :(

 

Yes very good point.

 

 

Have you got a link to the photo?

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Jupiter

There are parallels here. EB discussed it at the time, in 2004.

 

http://www.smh.com.au/news/sport/liesel-jo...0670299809.html

 

I think it's perfectly understandable to see athletes react that way, especially when they're so young.

 

Look at how brilliantly Leisel is handling everything now, with a few more years of experience.

 

ETA link to old EB thread: http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...showtopic=26929

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Aquamarine
Have you got a link to the photo?

Yep! No link actually, so I'll just post it here!!

 

2hzk75g.jpg

 

The winner is at the bottom, silver in the middle, bronze at the top!

Edited by Peridot

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pili-pala

you can constrast Rice's reaction to coutts reaction to winning silver - coutts is over the moon ( although she did swim a pb). Also the canoeist for Australia - he was estatic to reach the semi-finals and ended up 6th I think in the finals (he is ranked 40, and has taken 12 years to make the olympic team). plus the equestrian team members that had to withdraw before the event due to horse issues - they carried their disappoint with dignity.

 

I also couldn't understand why it was all James Magnusson (sp?) fault for the relay team losing - his swim was okay I thought.

 

I tend to agree that emotion straight out of the pool is one thing and completely understandable. but the next day, you should be able to compose yourself when being interviewed. she is not new to this game.

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Milly Molly Mandy

So going by the logic in this thread if someone who has dedicated years to studying hard doesn't get into the university course they have been aiming for but gets into one with a slightly lower entrance mark is upset they are therefore implying that everyone who got into even lower courses are inferior in some way.

 

Of course not, it is all about thd individual and their goals for themselves. If they can and have achieved better of course they are entitled to be upset. People need to stop comparing the hopes, dreams and abilities of one person to another.

 

For some athletes just making the team is in itself a major achievement and they go to the games knowing they aren't going to win anything, they are just happy to be there and maybe hope for a PB. For others they are going to win, their previous performances says this is possible so of course it is what they want, but do you seriously think they have the attitude "far out I got 4th and am unhappy you did a PB but didn't even make the finals, you must be pretty upset with your performance. Of course not.

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BadCat
In a way it's a cultural thing, elite sportspeople have always been accorded higher-than-God status in this country - maybe if this wasn't the case their expectations might be a bit more realistic hence they would be able to cope better with disappointment. I get that there needs to be a drive to succeed behind the effort but not everyone can win - someone has to come second and third and there's no written rule anywhere that states Australians must come first in every sport every time (sometimes I think this is what people truly do believe).

 

In the specific cases mentioned here the expectations were realistic. Emily Seebohm blitzed the heat and the semi. She swam slower in the final than in either the heat or the semi. She knew she could win - her expectations were entirely realistic. James Magnussen was the fastest man over 100m going into that relay. He had every reason to believe he could put the team into the second leg in first place and set them up for the race. His expectation was realisitic.

 

There are plenty of examples of Australian athletes who have been elated at even reaching a final. They are proud of their efforts. And so is the Australian sportsloving public for the most part (when they get to hear about it). It's only the media b**ching about medals not being gold and we all know the media are twits of the highest order.

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SarDonik
So going by the logic in this thread if someone who has dedicated years to studying hard doesn't get into the university course they have been aiming for but gets into one with a slightly lower entrance mark is upset they are therefore implying that everyone who got into even lower courses are inferior in some way.

 

Of course not, it is all about thd individual and their goals for themselves. If they can and have achieved better of course they are entitled to be upset. People need to stop comparing the hopes, dreams and abilities of one person to another.

 

For some athletes just making the team is in itself a major achievement and they go to the games knowing they aren't going to win anything, they are just happy to be there and maybe hope for a PB. For others they are going to win, their previous performances says this is possible so of course it is what they want, but do you seriously think they have the attitude "far out I got 4th and am unhappy you did a PB but didn't even make the finals, you must be pretty upset with your performance. Of course not.

 

No, I get people strive to be the best and strive to get gold and how they may see silver as a failure, but they are professional sports men and women and they should conduct themselves with a bit more humility and dignity. They are role models and as Peridot pointed out "Imagine all the children and teenagers watching, thinking to themselves 'Wow, second place is a failure". Part of competing at the top level is not just about learning how to win, but also learning how to 'lose' or come second. To act like she did, is disrespectful and immature and sets a terrible example. Kids need to see that race and go wow she won silver!! Not oh she lost, what a failure.

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Blondiebear
So going by the logic in this thread if someone who has dedicated years to studying hard doesn't get into the university course they have been aiming for but gets into one with a slightly lower entrance mark is upset they are therefore implying that everyone who got into even lower courses are inferior in some way.

 

Of course not, it is all about thd individual and their goals for themselves. If they can and have achieved better of course they are entitled to be upset. People need to stop comparing the hopes, dreams and abilities of one person to another.

 

For some athletes just making the team is in itself a major achievement and they go to the games knowing they aren't going to win anything, they are just happy to be there and maybe hope for a PB. For others they are going to win, their previous performances says this is possible so of course it is what they want, but do you seriously think they have the attitude "far out I got 4th and am unhappy you did a PB but didn't even make the finals, you must be pretty upset with your performance. Of course not.

Thank you MMM for saving me some typing time! Well said.

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SarDonik

I've swam at state level and played hockey at nation level. I know about winning and losing. And there have been some incredibly bitter, disappointing losses, in finals, but what you do is smile, congratulate the other team and shake their hands. Does that mean I haven't trained hard, no, does that mean I'm not disappointed, no, but it's about being a good sportsman/woman. If you want to have a cry, go and do it in the toilets or in the changing rooms.

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MrsLexiK
I also couldn't understand why it was all James Magnusson (sp?) fault for the relay team losing - his swim was okay I thought.

 

Because his job was to bring it home, which is a bit hard when they were already behind everyone else. That is the hard part about being last - you get the glory of the win however you tend to wear the it if the team loses.

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premmie

I felt so terrible for her I was almost in tears myself. Her achievement is amazing not only to be part of an Olympic team, but to qualify for a final, swim a silver medal and break an Olympic record In the process. It's understandable that she is dissapointed with the performance given she has swum faster. That being said I think it's cruel for the media to shove a camera and mike in their face just after a swim, give them 5 minutes to dry off and collect their thoughts.

 

We've lost somewhere what an amazing achievement it is to be there, let alone make a final and place. Whether they wish it or not these athletes are role models and they need to remember that and show sportsmanship and grace in success and defeat.

 

That ally being said Magnussen's showing after the relay was a disgrace, look e interviewer in the eye, congratulate the winning team on a Superb race and admit you weren't at your best..

 

Take a note out of Christian sprinters book who won a silver was stocked beyond belief, and he managed it in a personal best time behind a swimmer who broke a record to beat him. Why can't we be celebrating that? AFterall he has done all anyone could expect from him to peak at the right time

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BadCat
Because his job was to bring it home, which is a bit hard when they were already behind everyone else. That is the hard part about being last - you get the glory of the win however you tend to wear the it if the team loses.

 

Except that he didn't swim the final leg. He swam the first one.

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Rachaelxxx

It breaks my heart, they all work so hard and are so dedicated and focused on what they are doing. They are all competing to make family/country/friends/coaches proud and until you have walked a day in their shoes, I don't think any of us would know what it feels to not have competed to the best of your ability of the time that really matters most.

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coco100

I'm actually finding it very interesting to compare the Australian and US media on their Olympics coverage... "cockiness" and self confidence such as James Magnussen's is celebrated in the US whereas in AUstralia he is mocked and it seems they are like vultures on him after his swim didn't go as well as he expected.

Ryan Lochte gets around with a diamond grill and the US love him for it whereas if an Aussie swimmer did the same everyone would think they were a moron.

 

ITA with the PP who pointed out James Roberts wasn't at his best in the relay either but it is Magnussen who copped all of the flak for it.

 

Christian Sprenger winning that silver was such a great moment! Can't ask for any more than swimming a PB at the Olympics!

Edited by coco100

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Sayerley
I've swam at state level and played hockey at nation level. I know about winning and losing. And there have been some incredibly bitter, disappointing losses, in finals, but what you do is smile, congratulate the other team and shake their hands. Does that mean I haven't trained hard, no, does that mean I'm not disappointed, no, but it's about being a good sportsman/woman. If you want to have a cry, go and do it in the toilets or in the changing rooms.

 

Did you have someone shove a mic in your face two seconds after walking off the field asking you how you felt?

 

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BadCat

If Ryan Lochte gets around with a diamond grille I'd definitely assume he's a moron. I hate that arrogance that seems so popular in US athletes. Not that US athletes have the monopoly on it but they seem to have a lot more of it than anyone else.

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MrsLexiK
We've lost somewhere what an amazing achievement it is to be there, let alone make a final and place. Whether they wish it or not these athletes are role models and they need to remember that and show sportsmanship and grace in success and defeat.

 

This - last night I was watching the heats, and 2 of the boys that were swimming where only swimming the heat not the semi or the final. They spoke to them and they were proud as punch they had been able to swim in an Olympic event.

 

Except that he didn't swim the final leg. He swam the first one.

 

Whoops my bad, well then the media would say it his job to put them so far in front there was no hope of anyone catching him. I think they pick on him because up until that race he hadn't lost and he was the easiest target.

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Cath42

I think that the age of the swimmers has a lot to do with it. Liesel Jones, at 27, was incredibly gracious and positive after finishing 5th or 6th in her final. But the others we've seen have been teenagers, or people in their early twenties. They're just kids, and they are devastated when they've put years of hard work into preparation and selection and then haven't been at their best at the Olympics. Recall Liesel Jones and her obvious disappointment at winning a silver medal at an Olympics past and look at her now, a wonderful ambassador for sport and a wonderful role model for young swimmers. Emily Seebohm admitted that she'd spent too much time on social media like Twitter and Facebook and had gotten herself out of the headspace she needed to be in to win. Perhaps that's something for the coach to think about: banning access to social media until swimmers have swum all their races.

 

Our equestrians endured a tragedy of a day when two members of the team came off their horses during the cross country leg of the three day eventing programme. In the space of an hour, they went from what should have been a medal to being in 6th position with a reduced team (once you fall off your horse, you're disqualified). But they're older than our swimmers and have the perspective that comes with age. All the captain of the team had to say was, "That's sport. We'll regroup and do as well as we can tomorrow".

 

And the kids are proving to be resilient once they get over their initial disappointment. Emily Seebohm, by the time the medal presentation went ahead, was not only smiling but also being very gracious in defeat. She knew it was the American girl's show and she copped it with aplomb. James Magnussen got himself together and swam himself into the 100m final (or it may have been the semi) as the top qualifier. I think many people are expecting these teenagers and 20-year-olds to react to very stressful, emotional times in the same way as a 30-year-old with a wealth of life experience would. Well, when they're older they'll do just that. In the meantime, let's cheer them on and give them a break.

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SarDonik
I think that the age of the swimmers has a lot to do with it. Liesel Jones, at 27, was incredibly gracious and positive after finishing 5th or 6th in her final. But the others we've seen have been teenagers, or people in their early twenties. They're just kids, and they are devastated when they've put years of hard work into preparation and selection and then haven't been at their best at the Olympics. Recall Liesel Jones and her obvious disappointment at winning a silver medal at an Olympics past and look at her now, a wonderful ambassador for sport and a wonderful role model for young swimmers. Emily Seebohm admitted that she'd spent too much time on social media like Twitter and Facebook and had gotten herself out of the headspace she needed to be in to win. Perhaps that's something for the coach to think about: banning access to social media until swimmers have swum all their races.

 

Our equestrians endured a tragedy of a day when two members of the team came off their horses during the cross country leg of the three day eventing programme. In the space of an hour, they went from what should have been a medal to being in 6th position with a reduced team (once you fall off your horse, you're disqualified). But they're older than our swimmers and have the perspective that comes with age. All the captain of the team had to say was, "That's sport. We'll regroup and do as well as we can tomorrow".

 

And the kids are proving to be resilient once they get over their initial disappointment. Emily Seebohm, by the time the medal presentation went ahead, was not only smiling but also being very gracious in defeat. She knew it was the American girl's show and she copped it with aplomb. James Magnussen got himself together and swam himself into the 100m final (or it may have been the semi) as the top qualifier. I think many people are expecting these teenagers and 20-year-olds to react to very stressful, emotional times in the same way as a 30-year-old with a wealth of life experience would. Well, when they're older they'll do just that. In the meantime, let's cheer them on and give them a break.

 

I disagree. You learn at a very early age to be graceful in defeat. There are plenty of young kids at these Olympics and other sporting events that have acting maturely and with dignity and humility both in victory and in defeat. And Alicia Coutts is 26.

Edited by SarDonik

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BadCat

Everything Cath42 said. :clap:

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Cath42
I disagree. You learn at a very early age to be graceful in defeat. There are plenty of young kids at these Olympics and other sporting events that have acting maturely and with dignity and humility both in victory and in defeat. And Alicia Coutts is 26.

 

Exactly. Alicia Coutts is 26. Liesel Jones is 27. Emily Seebohm is 20 and James Magnussen is 21. Five years makes a lot of difference for young people. And they WERE gracious in defeat. Emily Seebohm didn't put a foot wrong during that medal ceremony. The problem was the invasion of the cameras and the microphones within one minute of defeat that ought to have been victory. It's a lot for any kid to handle. Team sport is a bit different. The members of a hockey team or a basketball team (apart from the captains) are not bombarded at the end of matches.

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Fifteenyears

I noticed that Isabelle, and was glad that someone who had been there was doing the interview.

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