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GymJunky

5 year old htting himself and banging head.

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GymJunky

Hi,

 

Has anyone got any advice on why my DS 5 would be banging his head on the ground (not hard) and hitting himself in the head at school when he is disciplined?

 

Only does it according to his teacher when she asks him to stop something or when he is in trouble.

 

He is bright, full of energy and otherwise a fantastic child, no developmental issues now or any in preschool, this behaviour is all of a sudden.

 

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

Thanks,

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Emby

Is he generally a really good kid, who hates getting in to trouble? Because one of my kids used to do a similar thing at about that age (she would bite her own arm) and also so did I, a long time ago.

 

In our cases, it was a response to stress. DD in particular found the whole concept of being told off so stressful that she could hardly handle it - and she was a good sweet thoughtful introvert, so you can imagine just how mild some of these "super stressful" tellings-off were.

 

Oh, and I've just remembered - my other DD sometimes does a "hitting herself" thing when she does something wrong too - she dresses it up as "I'm being Dobby" but I think the motivator is stress there too, when she's done the wrong thing.

 

In all our cases we grew (are growing...) out of it, but maybe he'd benefit from thinking about some other de-stressing techniques, if that's at the root of it? Deep breaths, self-hugging (big squeezes starting from the arms and working your way down), something like that? Something a bit more productive than thumping himself!

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Rach42

My 5 year old did this but at home - I don't think he did it at school or at least I was never told of it if he did.

 

It was to do with being told off for something - even when it's just a little "oh please don't do that sweetie" type thing! It seemed to be because he has the over-reaction to being told not to do something that he's done something wrong so therefore he's stupid and everyone hates him. He has stopped hitting himself but I still think he has those thoughts occassionally - he is slowly growing out of it with lots of reassurance by me that when I tell him not to do something it's because it's my job as his mum to tell him what is and isn't appropriate behaviour, it doesn't at all mean that I don't like or love him and he is absolutely not stupid. Everyone makes mistakes or does the wrong thing sometimes. When I caught him hitting himself I'd tell him to stop doing that because he is not allowed to hurt anyone including himself sometimes with me gently holding his hands/arms and giving him a hug.

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Sunny003

DS1 did it when frustrated. It then moved on to 'I want to die. I'm going to kill myself' :(

 

I spoke with the school counseller and got some advice. We explained what frustrated meant and spoke about how it makes him feel etc

 

I agree with the PP's re: stress. Often as adults we cry in response to stress, I guess that's his outlet. Perhaps he needs a redirection? After he has calmed down, an the teacher discuss it with him? What was he feeling, how did his body feel? Why did hurting himself make it feel better? Etc

Then get HIM to find an alternative. Oh and stating that you feel like that at times too, so he knows it's normal.

Perhaps a stress ball could help? Deep breaths.

We found shaking out his fists help Ds calm down.

 

HTH

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GymJunky

Thanks everyone for responding, my DS is generally a great child, loving and caring...he doesn't like discipline (who does) and it probably is stress related, I noticed he is the youngest in his class, turned 5 in January this year, Kindergarten, most of the kids are 6. So that might be stressing him, I will take some of the suggestions and try, we'll see how we go.

 

The teacher tries to ignore most of his behaviour as apparently this is what is supposed to be done, but really hard for her. He has been good the last couple of days as I had a little chat with him.

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