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louiseos

To Baby Shower or not to Shower?

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louiseos

Hey ladies,

 

As some of you know I'm an Irish expat who's been living in Australia for many years. Anyway, two of my girlfriends are really keen to throw me a baby shower. Awesome right? Well, I'm not really sure. In Ireland, baby showers aren't done as the norm, so whilst I have the general understanding of what they are, I haven't really experienced one. I went to my first shower in January this year, but it wasn't really what I thought a shower would be - just seemed like an afternoon tea with lots of presents & ladies.

 

Part of me thinks a shower is a cheeky & indirect way of asking for presents, which I'm a little uncomfortable with. I know there are sometimes games played, but I've never experienced these.

 

All in all, the numbers of girlfriends wanting me to have a shower is growing but I truly have no idea of I really want one - probably cause its not done where I'm from and I really don't know what to expect ...

 

So tell me wise-ones - are you having a shower? What makes a good shower? Is it just a present scabbing frenzy?

 

Sorry if this is dumb, I'm just so undecided about what to do!

All thoughts, advice, suggestions, recommendations are appreciated!

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Yomumma

I think its really up to you if you want one..don't let people force one on you. I never had one, never experienced one before-seemed like a present grab to me too, which I was also uncomfortable with.

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chickenpants

I'm in a similar position, where there are a few people wanting to throw me a shower but I'm not really interested. Partly because I think it looks like a present-grabbing exercise, and mostly because I'm not fond of being the centre of attention in that sort of scenario.

 

I'd be happy with an informal gathering to say "Yay Baby!" with no gifts, but I think that I'd be SOL with the folk I know.

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Jenflea

I never had one, or wanted one. I could buy what I needed myself, if people wanted to give me baby things, they could do that after she was born.

Do you still get gifts after the baby comes? That sounds like double dipping to me and very greedy.

I have only been to one and didn't like it. I don't think grown women should be playing stupid games at get togethers. But maybe that's just me. The one I was at was filled with women telling horrible birth stories and saying"oh but that won't happen to you!" to the pregnant woman. Not my cup of tea at all.

You could have afternoon tea and ask for no gifts if they REALLY want you to have a shower.

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Amica

They are nothing but a gift grab. *Cringe*

NMS

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ScarfaceClaw

I was not going to have one, but a friend was here from london, and wasn't meant to be here for the birth etc, so she wanted to organise something to celebrate while she was here.

Low key, a few games, and a glass of non alcoholic bubbles. Yes there were presents, but I don't know how you avoid people buying you stuff when you have a first baby?

Certainly people I would never have thought about gave me a gift when I went on mat leave...

 

So it was a nice afternoon to celebrate something wonderful IMO. I had never been to one prior to my own either, so didn't really know what to expect.

 

 

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l-m-n-o-p

I had a mother blessing instead of a baby shower with women that I was very close too.

No gifts as such, but everyone contributed a bead (that were later strung together to make a birthing necklace) and also spoke about what motherhood meant to them (both as mothers and daughters) and what they wished for me in my role as a mother.

 

Those of my friends and family that could not attend in person sent beads and letters which were read out on the day.

 

We also ate yummy food and folded paper cranes to make into a mobile for the baby.

 

It was a deeply moving experience and I am really glad I gathered my women-folk around me before the birth of my daughter.

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Bernard Woolley

Think of it as a public service:

 

 

62% of the people who come will enjoy the chance to buy something wee and impractical for the baby, the kind of thing you'd look at yourself and go, '000 and dryclean only? You're kidding...'

37% of the people who come will enjoy the fact that they can do something useful for you, probably by handing over a packet of newborn disposables.

12.5% will enjoy being able to tell their birth story in a socially acceptable setting.

8% don't like parties or giving presents, but you're giving them a chance to try new things and grow as people, so really it's a good thing ;) .

 

 

 

(But seriously - I'm not having one, partly because I don't like parties and partly because we got married last year and I feel like I've asked too many people to present-grabs of various sorts in the last 18 months...)

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witchesforest

my group of girlfriends and i all go away for a weekend together when one of us is expecting. we do fun stuff like get massages together and watch silly movies etc. no presents in sight - actually maybe we would all get together and pay for the mum-to-be's massage or something.

 

loads of fun, not a present grab, everyone pays their way. maybe your mates could arrange something like that for you instead?

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Sassenach2

I think they are a bit of a money grab and we didn't have them when I had babies. However, everyone who wanted to, came to the hospital with a present for the baby, but today's hospitals usually send you home within 3 days, so that may be a bit daunting for friends who are working and don't like to come at night or even at the weekends, when you first come home. :rolleyes:

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Boombox
I had a mother blessing instead of a baby shower with women that I was very close too.

No gifts as such, but everyone contributed a bead (that were later strung together to make a birthing necklace) and also spoke about what motherhood meant to them (both as mothers and daughters) and what they wished for me in my role as a mother.

 

Those of my friends and family that could not attend in person sent beads and letters which were read out on the day.

 

We also ate yummy food and folded paper cranes to make into a mobile for the baby.

 

It was a deeply moving experience and I am really glad I gathered my women-folk around me before the birth of my daughter.

 

That sounds like a wonderful idea. I think it's what the gathering should be about- women sharing knowledge and support. Someone I know went to a similar sounding blessing. All the women were given a string bracelet to wear until the baby had been born- it was a way of cosmically linking them all in support for the birthing process- all hippy trippy i know, but that's the support I'd prefer, rather than an awkward gift shower!

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chicken_bits

I was anti shower too but my gf's really wanted to do one. DD was due in Jan so organising one in Dec was hard so we did a 'meet the baby' shower instead. Everyone got to coo over DD and a huge pregnant woman wasn't the centre of attention. It worked well for us!

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mks81

I'm too tired to even think of having one.

 

A girlfriend and I did decide earlier on since I was moving a bit away from where we use to live near each other...that instead we would make sure we got together and have a catch up with coffee/cake.

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Future-self

Really, they're about gathering around you all the women in your life who care about you and want to celebrate and show support. I've hosted a few and attended a few - some I've attended were more typical in that there were a few games and opening of presents in front of everyone which is weird in my books. Others I've hosted were afternoon high tea type events with a glass of sparkling on arrival, plenty of food and just a couple of hours of talking, laughter and enjoying celebrating with the Mother to be. Sure, people bought small gifts but that wasn't the focus and they went on a present table and the mum to be opened them later with me taking notes as to who bought what so she could send thank you notes. They are what you want/make them to be.

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Sar333

Have always felt like it was a bit of a present grab, and the game thing always seemed a bit much. Has anyone played the one with the melted chocolate in the nappies? Was going to do without a shower but my sister really wants to do it and I never let her do a hen's night or anything for our wedding so she is really insisting!

 

We'll just have to wait and see...

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ejfingerscrossed

I'm having a shower, I've been to heaps and they do really vary in quality, I organized one for my BFF a couple of moths ago, it was really just a good chance to catch up with friends and have a bit if arvo tea, we did a couple of activities, I bought a whole bunch of onesies from Kmart (2 for 5 bucks) and a whole bunch of tshirt paints and everyone designed their own outfit for her bub. Other than that we played 2 other games one was a Price is right, where we had to put a bunch of items in order of cost and the other one, we had asked her husband a bunch of questions about her pregnancy, what he thought the baby would look like and what he was most scared about and then she answered the same questions and we all had a laugh about how different their answers were!There was presents, mainly we all chucked in and bought her a high chair and a bottle sterilizer set! We all wanted to buy her something for the baby, so it didn't feel like a present grab at all! All in all it was a really nice way to catch up and celebrate, I hope my shower provides us with a chance to all catch up again!

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Rach42

A friend of mine wanted to give me a baby shower for my second bub but I wasn't really into doing something to baby-related (with the games and stuff) so I suggested heading down to the local tavern for lunch. There was a playground to keep the kids occupied so that we could all just have a nice relaxed lunch and chat.

 

My friend said that I would get presents whether I wanted them or not so was there something I would like so they all pitched in and bought me a nappy bag.

 

My sister asked if I wanted a baby shower this time but I have a feeling she'll be wanting to do the silly games so I'm probably going to say no.

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Morti

I had a baby shower for my first baby and really enjoyed it. I couldn't be bothered any longer with subsequent babies though as I already had enough on my plate with kids' birthday parties, Baptisms and the like. :)

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DS1979

I think if they want to throw you a baby shower then let them! They obviously love you and consider you a special friend so just go with the flow, put your feet up and enjoy! Just think of it as a big catch up with your closest friends.

 

Babies are exciting and people are going to buy you something whether you like it or not! I don't know anyone who isn't excited by baby shopping!

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