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-clare-

'lady bits' and sex after vaginal birth

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-clare-

Thank you so much for the replies so far, especially for such honesty.

 

I should have clarified that I have a toddler already so totally 'get' the other factors (sleep deprivation and your body constantly needed for feeding etc) that contribute to enjoyment (or otherwise) of sex in the first 6 or so months. I am currently deciding between trying for a VBAC or a repeat c section. Reason for c section is not present in this pregnancy and I have a very supportive, pro-vbac ob. I understand the benefits of vaginal birth for both baby and mum and can't believe I am even considering a repeat c section given I was dead against it first time. But I want to be aware of issues with vaginal birth so I can make an informed choice as I am well well aware of the risks and negatives with c sections.

 

Those that have ended up with either continence issues or issues with sex, I wonder if anyone feels age is a factor? (ie do younger' mums fare better? Pelvic floor exercises definitely important!

Edited by -clare-

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TwiceTheWoman

Kegel's are the way to go - for any age, but no, age is not a factor with regard to outcome at all.

Sometimes the pelvic floor can be somewhat too tight with the super fit, so baby may descend so far and meet resisitance.

These women often push like hell with little progress and need forceps to help the baby through the pelvic floor - this can happen, but it is quite rare in my experience. Hope you're happy with your choice OP.

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city*reader

I've only given birth vaginally once. I've also had a cs.

 

Sex actually improved for me post vaginal delivery, and that's despite getting a labial tear and consequent stitches. I find it incredibly easy to orgasm now even during very vanilla sex.

 

Of course it took ages post birth to want it let alone enjoy it but I didn't expect different. It was the same post cs so it's not just a vagina thing. It's a having a newborn baby thing, IMO.

 

Zero continence issues.

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lizzybelle

No continence issues. Have had 4 vaginal births. Memory is a bit dodgy, but I think same, same as before. I 'always' tear/have episiotomy (it's a shape thing), and am a bit tentative to start DTD post-baby, but has always been OK. I have always (and am still, with #4) BFd for about 12 months - it doesn't seem to have a negative impact on libido for me. I guess from the variety of responses here it's a bit of luck and probably depends a bit on genetics. Do you have any idea how the other women in your family have fared post-baby? (Not always the easiest conversation to have, though...)

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kittycat01

I had a Caesar on DS so technically, shouldn't have had any major issues. However, they did something when they inserted catheter during the epidural and caused some damage at the entrance that made sex very uncomfortable for about 8mths afterwards. Of course you can have this if you have a natural too if you go for epidural.

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CallMeFeral

For some reason, after DD sex hurt - I had stitches but was sore there for way after they should have healed. Had it checked and they couldn't see any reason for it.

Strangely, after DS I'm now fine. Had stitches again but seems to have healed with no problems.

I have some suspicions I might be a little 'bigger' in there than I used to be after DS (didn't feel that way after DD) - not a problem though as *TMI* DH was a little big for me previously anyway.

Continence - occasionally have troubles on coughing/laughing if I haven't done my exercises for a while. But I had this issue (when laughing hysterically) for a lot of my life anyway - only the cough/sneeze part is new.

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IShallWearMidnight

I had a traumatic birth with episiotomy and tearing plus stitches and 3.5 hours of pushing.

I have no issues now, if anything sex is better (if more rushed with a sleeping baby)

I was very fit before birth though, and am getting back into it still.

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lozoodle

Everything's normal here. Though my two births were relatively straightforward. Just two or three internal stitches with DD1 and nothing with DD2.

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Guest pessi

Two uncomplicated pregnancies and births later, I find nothing's particularly physically changed. For about 6 months after both births, I definitely felt looser (no incontinence issues, but I found it a bit difficult to enjoy sex because of it - no impact on DH's end though...), but my pelvic floor has fully recovered since. Now, if anything, I find sex better than pre-kids, it's easier to get started and easier to finish.

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GoldenBlack

I have no idea, but am watching this since, to be honest, everything is already so damn painful and has been for years. I've been to see specialists who say the muscles are overactive - they're so toned (like in the horse riding example) that they can't relax. I suppose an advantage is that now I'm heavily pregnant there's not a hint of continence issues, but sex has never been anything other than horribly painful. Papsmears are difficult and cause me damage too since the pain persists for some time afterwards.

 

I would really love it if things changed after birth. My partner is now very understanding, but wasn't always. It would be good to be able to have sex without fearing the inevitable pain. I've done physio, drugs, numbing sprays, etc, it just all seems quite unfair...the only reason I've had sex at all this year was to get pregnant.

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TwiceTheWoman

Hello Goldenblack

It may be possible you have a condition called "vaginismus". The V muscles go into severe spasm making sex very painful.

Can you organise an extra visit to your O&G (or just wait till next one - up to you) as as there are various treatments available to relieve this condition.

Anyway, don't keep this to yourself, the condition is known in medical circles, so you don't have to suffer in silence OK?

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QueenElsa

OP, I've had 2 vaginal deliveries and epistiotomies and things are all normal with sex and continence. Sexwas painful for 3 months after each delivery while the wounds healed.

 

I'm sad to hear so many stories of permanent damage -hope you all get the assistance you need....

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