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emily88

Does anyone regret it?

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emily88

I understand everyone loves their child, but do you regret being young? I'm not that young i'm 24 in Feb but for about a year all i can think about is having a baby. I'm married, i have my own home and not huge mortgage, but i'm scared i will regret not waiting a bit longer. What was it like when you had your child, did all those temptations of parties and drinking die? Is it nicer just being a family?

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livvie7586

i was never a drinker or a partier, so no issues there. i sometimes regret i didn't get to uni before kids (i'm only a year older than you, but i have a 5 y/o and a 3 y/o), but otherwise no real regrets. i love the little family i have (in saying all that, i fell pregnant unexpectedly at 19, so had the decision been in my hands things may have been different)

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Guest Monkey News

I do wish I had 'lived' a little but more, prior to having children.

 

I was 19 when I fell pregnant, and now have 3 children at 25. By living I mean; being free to do what I want when I want, travel, go to university, have some spare money to spend on myself etc.

 

I don't regret having children, however I wouldn't choose to be quite so young, if I had the chance over.

 

 

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Jaycy

I had my first at 21. I don't regret it - I think its fantastic in the long run. I didn't want to do uni, was never a really partier. DH and I wanted kids young so we could be youngish with them.

 

I love the fact that when they are late teens / young adults I will only be about 45 when my youngest of 3 will be 18.

 

Never a regret at all. I was married, had a house and a career before kids and I still have all these things 10yrs after having my first. So for me it was the way I wanted it and it worked out.

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noonehere

Only thing I regret is not finishing my study.

I was 18 when I had her and regret nothing else

(also a huge shock as she was not planned)

 

Partying I honestly never cared about, im a few drinks with close mates person and hate clubbing.

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- Waterbaby -

I got pregnant with Charlie at 24 and I do not regret it because I still can go out when I want to.

 

I just get Dh to watch him and go out with my friends or mum to watch him when we go out together.

 

I was a bit over partying each weekend and drinking anyway since I had been doing it since I was 16 when I got a fake ID.

 

I was getting a bit like "been there, done that".

 

Now when I go out its fun again because I dont do it very often. Going out and getting smashed and partying every weekend was getting boring for me.

 

Plus the older you get the more hungover you get and the longer it takes you to get over it. For me getting really really drunk isnt worth the hangover. Id rather just get a bit tipsy and have a good night then go home rather then getting wasted, going from club to club, party to party and then to the kebab shop and getting home as the sun is getting up and wasting the weekend sleeping.

 

Plus when you become a mum you become a member of the "mum club" and you meet new friends and do different social things like BBQs, arvo/ morning tea, going to the park or going out to dinner.

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Mung bean

I am 22 with one unplanned DS, he is my light and joy but had I not had him I would have spent a lot more time being me and having 'me' time even living in my own place by myself and travelling as I please

 

I love DS but realise, I will probably never sleep again, think just for myself, be carefree, be independent without the boys or act like a young person.

 

If I had my time again 26 or 28 would have been a great time, that said I am young and fit and able to handle DS sometimes high needs as I have the energy.

 

If you still have stuff to do don't have kids yet as you wont be able to do it in the same manner.

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Monroe

I don't regret it at all. We had a deposit for a house saved up, but traded the P-Plater car for a decent family car, if anything I wish we had of kept the bombadore & bought a house. 3 years later we're now ready to purchase a home.

I have no urge to travel & when I'm not pregnant if there is a party/event on DH & I take it in turns going out.

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mummahh

I had DD when I was 22 and only had a few moments of thinking "I'm too young for this". But then I wasn't the out every night type in the first place. It has been really fun to not seem too old as she grows up.

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- Waterbaby -

Ooh and I wanted to add also that while babies/ kids are a lot of hard work they can also be heaps of fun and bring lots of happiness and joy into your life.

 

They keep you young!

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BusyMum2014

No regrets here whatsoever. I had my first at 19 and am now having my 5th at 30. My hubby and I have been together for 12 years and always wanted a large family. Having children young never stopped either of us from achieving our goals. My hubby has a great job and I am almost finished a 4 year degree, we own our own home and still go to parties and such. It's just different now as most 'parties' are family based BBQ type occasions where the kids all run around together while the grown ups have a few drinks. I wouldnt change a thing!

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katieface84

No regrets here at all. I got engaged at 21, married at 23 and had DS at 24. My next baby will arrive when Im 27 (so certainly not as young as some)

 

Be aware you may lose friends, but you will become closer to those in similar situations as you.

 

We have a mortgage on a nice home, own our cars outright and dont have too much debt. So we are doing ok. Sure you have days where you wish you could just go out with your mates on the spur of the moment and have some drinks, but the majority of the time I am very happy with where my life is at now.

 

I tell my childless friends (who cant imagine having kids right now) that your life really does change for the better, sure life gets more stressful but these amazing little people are worth every minute :wub:

 

I also try to remember while its hard now when Im in my mid 30s I will have school age children and have a bit of my life back, while all my childless friends will be at home with small babies! ;)

Edited by katieface84
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Wut??

The thing is, if you choose to have a baby now, there is no going back. If you wait, and do things that you can't do with a baby, ('party' travel, be 100% focussed on a career etc) and then have a child, you can still do so at a young age.

 

Everyone is different. I had my kids in my mid-late 30s and for me, it was perfect timing and I didn't think twice about getting pregnant. Now, that might be too long for you to wait. But you'll still be in your 20s in 5 years time, and there is a lot you can do in 5 years without the added responsibility of children.

 

If you're not 100% convinced, then I vote wait. You've got time on your side.

Edited by Srsly??

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NannyPlumPudding

I had DS at 20. Fell pregnant at 19.

 

It is a completely different lifestyle. I find myself being calmer and not caring about a lot of crap (meaning not getting caught up just doing my own thing lol).

 

I do not regret it one bit, I can still go out because we have access to lots of babysitters but I find myself choosing not too! I was a partier before having DS so it was a big change for me but my priorities have changed.

 

Sometimes I still get the urge to let loose and have a good night dancing but they are few and far between. I crave a full night sleep more! :D

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Michelle&Girls

had my first DD when i was 20

looking back i wish we could travel a little more before having her..but oh well..whats done is done!

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emily88

Bunbury mum, u sound very similar to me, i was a partier since 17 so i'm worried i'll miss that side, but when you said u join the mummy club and have fun other ways, thats really what i needed to hear, thanks.

 

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Wut??

Of course there is also the added consideration of what your partner wants.

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Guest jaderuby

If you are ready, you are ready no matter what your age.

 

My DH was ready when we were 24, but I was not. I wanted to travel overseas and spend out money without having to plan ahead. We both earnt a lot of money and I wanted to live it up. We owned our own home and had investment properties and nice cars.

 

When I was 26 I started to feel like I wanted to start a family soon, so we saved madly for 2 years and at 29 I had my first DD. Saving for a few years meant that I am now a SAHM to 3 children and I don't have any financial pressure to go back to work.

 

For me I waited until I was ready, but it meant DH had to wait a bit. I think if you are both ready you will enjoy it and be the best time of your life. Being a mum is great.

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emily88

My partner is a little older 26, and he has lost both his parents so he had always wanted to be young incase anything like that happens to him. So yes he's ready, but maybe just a little scared too. Its such a huge decision.

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strawberrycakes

I was ready to start ttc at 23 straight after getting married. As it turned out Dh & I have fertility issues so it didn't happen until we did IVF at age 26/27.

TBH I'm really glad DH & I had those extra 3/4 years before becoming parents. We weren't big partiers or anything but it did give us the opportunity to pay a higher rate off our mortgage, travel overseas, save enough money that allowed us to be on one wage quite comfortably & basically just be selfish for awhile longer iykwim.

Having my 1st child at 27 I certainly didn't feel old nor young, at 31 & 32 yrs old now DH & I are planning child number 2 which again I don't believe is old lol.

Edited by strawberrycakes

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- Waterbaby -
Bunbury mum, u sound very similar to me, i was a partier since 17 so i'm worried i'll miss that side, but when you said u join the mummy club and have fun other ways, thats really what i needed to hear, thanks.

 

 

No worries :)

 

Good luck with everything!

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sarah_jane

Absolutely I regret it.

 

That's not to say I resent my kids or love them any less, I often find people are too scared to say they made a mistake in case it's misinterpreted in that way. I adore my kids, and I'm a great mum.

 

But I should have finished uni.

 

I should have found a better partner :lol:

 

I should have known better, basically.

 

I found I didn't really know what I was missing, until it was far too late. I'm catching up on the party scene slowly, but I'll never ever be able to get back those carefree no responsibility years... as I'm a mother before any other considerations.

 

That's me though :)

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Linza555

I have somedays when I'm tired and wonder what if I'd had kids later, but if I'm tired now it would only got harder as I got older, and age is one thing maturity is a whole other thing. I was ready at 21 to have my first, I was just happy that I wasnt 17 when I thought I was pregnant but wasn't..thank god.

 

 

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dorkalicious

DS was planned. DH and I were just dating (not married) but we were committed & both wanted to have kids in our early 20s. We both had careers & were in a good financial position (although renting). I was a partied since quite young but I had grown tired of it & wanted a husband and kids to stay home and cuddle.

 

Basically when we made the decision to TTC I considered that I might regret being so young but I was more concerned I'd regret leaving it too long or too late. Life doesn't have to end- you can still go out & party sometimes (you will probably find you don't want to as much anyway), you can still do uni/work/career and you find there's so much more in your life.

 

If you feel ready & your DH is ready then go for it! We do not regret it one bit- we love that we will only be 40 when DS turns 18 so we can have an active life after kids and he isnt stuck as a teennor young adult caring for geriatric parents :)

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Hermes
Absolutely I regret it.

 

That's not to say I resent my kids or love them any less, I often find people are too scared to say they made a mistake in case it's misinterpreted in that way. I adore my kids, and I'm a great mum.

 

But I should have finished uni.

 

I should have found a better partner :lol:

 

I should have known better, basically.

 

I found I didn't really know what I was missing, until it was far too late. I'm catching up on the party scene slowly, but I'll never ever be able to get back those carefree no responsibility years... as I'm a mother before any other considerations.

 

That's me though :)

That's me too. I was much younger than most though, DD was born when I was 16.

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