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how old were you when you had your first child

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mummas_angels

Hello mums of all ages . . .

 

I was just wondering how old or young you all were when you had your children . . .

 

I was -

19 When I had Eliza Grace

21 When I had Louie Michael

and just before I turned 23 I Had Sophia Rose

I am now 25 and am expeting twins in a matter of days . . .

People think I am Too young to be havin my first baby , let alone my my 4th & 5th

admittedly I do look younger than 25

 

People ask me questions all the time e.g

1) Do all your children have the same father ? -

YES , we have been together since we were 16yrs old

 

2) Are you and the childrens father married ?

YES we have been married for 4 years this july

 

3) What does the father do for Work ? -

HE WORKS IN CONSTRUCTION

 

4) Do I Plan to go To college ? -

I ALREADY DO (part-time) IM STUDYING TO BE A TEACHER (1yr to go)

5) Do we live in our own house ?

Yes we do , we are actually paying off a mortage

 

and a lot more questions that are really not any of their business . . .

 

Did / do you get questions like this ? especially those young mums

 

I'd love to hear your stories

 

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

 

Edited by mummas_angels

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YouAreBeautiful

I'm 28 and having my first baby so not much good to advise on the young mum thing... but got married to my DH at 18 so copped alot of similar style questions then... and the whole... your much too young to be getting married. 10 years later and still going strong :)

 

Goodluck with your twins :) very exciting!!

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mapleleaf

I had just turned 23 when I had DD.

 

I looked very young ( I would get asked for ID to buy scratchies and was asked by a movie usher for ID to see Amercian Pie lol ) and would have old ladies coming up to me telling me how disgusting it was that I had a child so young.

 

Most people mistook DD for my younger sister.

 

Even now when I tell people I have a 10 year old I can see them doing the mental math, and then they ask " so how old are you again?".

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hickorydickorydock

I was 19 when I had DS

and 20 when I had DD

 

I am now 24

 

I have had the comments and questions someone was absolutly shocked when I said that yes both kids are DH's kids but that may have been because my DH is a bit older than me..

 

I've never been asked if we are in our own house but they seemed shocked when I've told them we are buying a house and have been for the past 3 yrs..

 

I love the looks I get when I go to the shops and I pull up in my brand new car and get out with 2 kids in tow..

 

I also get shocked looks when I say I work part time and DH works 70 hrs a week like they expect us to just be sitting on centrelink payments or something..

 

They also seemed shocked when I wear brand name surf clothes and so do my kids because they think we can't afford these type of things...

 

I get shocked looks at just about everything lol..

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mummas_angels

hi steffijade81

 

I understand how you feel , my husband asked me to marry him when we were 17 , i said yes but obviously people got to us with their nasty and discouraging comments , saying it wont last m your too young , you have no idea what your doing etc

and we didnt end up getting married till 4 years ago . . .

 

it may be b**chy but look who was wrong . . . together for almost 9 years , 5 kids later and more in love than ever

 

 

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B.M.C.M.I.E

I was 18 when I had DD1, I was 19 (2 weeks off 20) when I had DD2.

 

My partner & I have been together almost 5 years, we're engaged & will be getting married in 2012.

 

I'm a SAHM but studying via distance ed. Would love #3, DF isn't keen but we are looking into fostering once I'm qualified & we've bought our own home.

 

I don't get questioned. I look younger then I am but people tend to smile at my girls, have a quick chat about their personalities & that's it.

 

I'm confident in my parenting so perhaps they pick up on that vibe? If I was told I 'look too young' to have children, I'd simply reply with 'one day I'll look too old'. You can't win when it comes to being a parent.

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mummas_angels

Hi hickorydickorydoc

 

The same thing happens to us

 

we've been paying off our house since Eliza was born , we each have nice cars and our kids are always dressed nicely . . .

 

We arnt struggeling for money or taking handouts

 

We are careful with our money and have plenty of savings

 

My husband works up to 70 hrs per week when he needs to and I work in his mothers real estate office part time , which is extremely handy beacuse I can take louie and sophia with me when i need to (Eliza is i Kindy)

 

Just because we are young doesnt mean we arnt responsible

 

We do everything we can for our children and they are never without anything they need

Edited by mummas_angels

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Guest ~JEP~

I was 16 when I had my first, 17 for #2 and 24 with #3.

 

I have had a couple of people ask me if they all have the same father. I simply respond with 'Are you always so rude?'. Shuts them up real quick. None of their god damn business.

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hickorydickorydock
Hi hickorydickorydoc

 

The same thing happens to us

 

we've been paying off our house since Eliza was born , we each have nice cars and our kids are always dressed nicely . . .

 

We arnt struggeling for money or taking handouts

 

We are careful with our money and have plenty of savings

 

My husband works up to 50 hrs per week and I work in his mothers real estate office part time , which is extremely handy beacuse I can take louie and sophia with me when i need to (Eliza is i Kindy)

 

Just because we are young doesnt mean we arnt responsible

 

We do everything we can for our children and they are never without anything they need

 

Its nice to know we arnt to only ones . . .

 

Yep exactly we too are like this have savings, very responsible and don't struggle...Who say's you need life experience when we can do all this without it and be so young...

 

I sometimes love the shocked looks because I just think yep that's right not as dumb, irresponsible or immature as you thought... :D

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happymumto3

oops.... sorry girls,wrong forum i was posting in

Edited by happymumto3

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****lisa****

I was 18 when I gave birth go my firstborn and was 36 when I had my last, I have been on both ends of the spectrum lol

 

 

Edited by ****lisa****

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3_for_me

I was 21 when we had our first and we've had alot of the same questions, I also look young for my age and most people thought I was having my first when I was pregnant with DD and would say things like"Oh your life's going to change now", to which I'd reply that she was my third and they'd always look shocked :lol: We are married, have a large amount in savings for a house deposit when we find the right place, own our own (nice) car and DHs motorbike. I finished my uni degree while raising the boys and started a post grad degree but unfortunately had to stop due to be quite ill while pregnant with DD. We've also done foster care and DH is in the defence force(works in aviation) so he is in a secure job although he does plan to get out in a year or two.

 

I find most of the time it starts off with a person being a bit incredulous of our choices but then when I tell them what I've acheived while raising our kids and the sacrifices DH has made for our family(spends most of his time interstate for work) it changes to them saying that it's amazing I got so much done. I like the fact that we've challenged the stereotype of young parents and made people think twice about putting everyone in the same basket.

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mummas_angels

Well put young mums :)

 

I think it is really dissapointing when people stereotype mothers of all ages

 

sometimes I wish I could sit them down and tell them what my lifes really like

 

I would tell them -

 

* I have been with the father of my children since I was 16

* we are happily married

* we planned to have all our children

* we both have good jobs

* we are paying off our home

* both have family friendly cars

* I am a part time teaching student with only 1yr to go

* we are responsible parents who have already started college funds for each of our children

* we don't take hand outs from people

* my eldest daughter goes to a private school

 

and sooo many other things that they would not expect to hear from young parents

 

We both work damn hard to be were we are aswell !!

 

It's a bit of a b**chy rant but to put it nicely im just sick of people questioning the way i live , its not the 1800's anymore not everyone wait until they are married to have children and not eveyone's children have the same mothers / fathers , theirs nothing wrong with that , its our lives and we should be able to live the way we chose.

 

I just want to say I am proud of all of you who , no matter what situation you are in :)

Edited by mummas_angels

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sweetmango

I was 20 with the first DD, just 22 with the second DS, 24 with the third DS 26 with the 4th DS.

 

We were dirt poor when the kids were little, I stayed home until my oldest when to high school and the youngest started kindy the same year. You don't miss much when you don't have it.

 

Now our kids are older and we have a lovely home, great cars, went on a month long overseas holiday, putting in a pool this year.

 

My brothers both had there children late in life and they have both had 2 incomes no kids, in fact my younger brother only has one child who is only 7 he has absolutely NOTHING and my other brother had to borrow 110% for his house loan. It just absolutely eats them up that we are doing so well.

 

Our kids all went through private school and our two oldest kids go to private university.

 

We are now foster parents to 3 delightful young children, its a great life. I am able to stay home with them at the moment and not suffer to much financially.

 

On saying that "things" aren't everything, I loved every minute of being home with the kids and being poor was part of that experience and it makes me appreciate all that I have now.

 

So to young mums it is possible to be great mums and to have a good life without all the "things" and the life experiences of older mums.

Edited by mum to lots

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4forme

Had my first 3 weeks shy of my 22nd birthday.

 

My 2nd 1 week shy of my 24th birthday.

 

My 3rd a couple of months before turning 28

 

My 4th at 29.

 

Thats it for me- I wanted to finish my family before I hit 30- for what reason I dont know.

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mummas_angels

Hello mumtolots

 

Your story is very inspirational

 

Just because we were young doesnt mean we didnt know or do what is / was best for our children

 

I like you believe that you dont need to have "things" to be a good parent

 

Although there is no denying that at times it gets hard , i dont regret one minute of it , my children and husband mean the world to me and i wouldnt change even a second of how my life has been so far

 

There are plenty of people in the world who have it a lot harder than we have , so for what we've got im extremely grateful

 

Healthy happy Kids , an amazing husband and a bright future , what more could a person want

 

xoxoxo

Edited by mummas_angels

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Charmzy

People can be so nosey and rude! We had our 5th child when I was 23, I am 24 now and we are TTC #6.

 

I don't get too many questions like that anymore, but at 20 when we had our 4th I got LOTS of questions and LOTS of rude comments.

 

 

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Guest The 7 Dwarfs

I was -

21 when I had Chloe

22 when I had Adrian and Victoria

24 when I had Kitarni

25 when I had Seth

28 when I had Edward

will be 29 when this bub is born.

 

1) Do all your children have the same father ? -

Yes

 

2) Are you and the childrens father married ?

YES, 9 years this year

 

3) What does the father do for Work ? -

Baker

 

4) Do I Plan to go To college ? -

I have 2 university degrees and plan to start #3 next year part time (will take 3 years, post registration midwifery degree, 1 subject a semester external)

 

5) Do we live in our own house ?

Yep, we are selling it though, our other house is a few weeks off being completed. This is also the 3rd home we have sold.

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essentiallyme

 

I had just turned 16(3months before) when I had DD who is now 24. Then I had DS when I was 18.

DD#1's father tried asking me to marry him whilst he was at the pub drunk and I was still only 15. I am just thankfull I didn't make the mistake and marry him.

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Guest Mummy-to-two

..

Edited by Mummy-to-two

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EssentialBludger

I was 16 when I had my first, 21 when I had my second.

 

No they don't have the same father. No, I'm not married. No I don't own a home.

 

I realise this is just a vent, but it's kind of offensive that you think if the answer wasn't "yes" to those questions, then you fit the stereotype. :rolleyes:

 

* I have been with the father of my children since I was 16

* we are happily married

* we planned to have all our children

* we both have good jobs

* we are paying off our dream home

* both have nice family friendly cars

* I am a part time teaching student with only 1yr to go

* we are responsible parents who have already started college funds for each of our children

* we don't take hand outs from people

* my eldest daughter goes to a prestigeous private school (cape fear acadamy) and her siblings will go to that school aswell

 

Kind of feels like a "look at me, brag brag brag, look how well off we are, brag brag brag" post to me.

 

Sorry, realise it's probably not. But I'm dirt poor, drive a 17 year old car and will probably never own my own home. Feels like you're saying if some young parents don't live like you do, then people are entitled to ask them these sorts of questions.

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mummas_angels

Hey nuddy

 

Believe me it wasnt ment to be a bragging thing

 

i just wanted to point out that just because people have children young doesnt mean that they are irresponsible and dont try their hardest to do the best for their children

 

We didnt always have those thing , we rented from the time i was 17 till 19 , our cars arnt new 4 and 6 yrs old and we sacrafice alot to pay our mortage and send our daughter to private school , i work up to 30hrs a week while studying , running a home and looking after my children and husband and my husband works up to 75hrs per week when he needs to

 

I also want you to know that I in no way think that your situation is wrong , your children are beautiful and theres no denying that you love them.

 

it doesnt matter is you have a new car or old car , if you rent or buy , send them to public or private school , work or dont work . . . all that matters is that you are doing the bast you can for your children !!!

 

That really is my whole point No matter what age you are when you have your children , if you are doing the best that you can , they will grow up to be wonderful human beings like their parents.

 

I hope I didnt Offend you personally , it really wasnt my intention

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EssentialBludger

I know, sorry, sh*tty mood. :blush: Was underpaid at work this week and just felt like the icing on the cake of never getting anywhere.

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mumofsky

Yes absolutely I cop some of those rude questions. It's as though people assume that because you're a young mother, you have no dignity and will answer intimate questions from strangers that they wouldn't dare ask older mothers. I get questions like "how old are you?" and "is she your daughter or your sister?" and "you're a bit young to have a child aren't you?". Mind you, if anyone I didn't know dared ask me a question which referred to Sky's dad as "the father" (ricki lake style), I'd put them back in their box pretty damn quick.

 

I was 19 when she was born. I too have a full time job, a mortgage and I study off campus. I'm single, which falls within the "stereotypical" young mum category I guess, but I'm not overly concerned - I know I work damn hard and do a decent job. I know Sky's a lucky kid and is well brought up. If people are that curious about a teenage mother these days, I am happy to give them their moment of excitement for the day.

 

 

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red door

Just turned 20 with 1st

23 with 2nd

24 with 3rd

27 with 4th

31 with 5th

 

yes, all from same dad, all planned except first, but he was a pleasant surprise. Just bought our first house last year. Husband works in construction too. I am studying. I am an ultra protective mum and so far my children have not lived up to any of the seryotypes/statistics of children born to younger mums.

 

I only look about 26 and am still hot (although not my ideal) and I too get people telling me I look too young to have kids let alone 5.

 

Imagine if we turned the tables and said to a women having her first at 40-"wow, you look too old to be having a child...did you use a turkey baster, as I can't imagine women your age are still having sex are they???" god, imagine the uproar.

Edited by red door

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