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ramath

16y.o. not wanting to go to school!

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ramath

I am hoping that I am not alone here,my 16 y.o.DS just flat out refuses to go to school some days,today,I went throught to drag him out of bed,and he did not look like he wanted to get up (just for a change!)so I said that if he didn't want to go to school he didn't have to,he was totally shocked that I had said this,called school and said that he wouldn't be in because he wouldn't get out of bed.

I feel like I am dragging him,kicking and screaming every step of the way,all of the career paths that interest him,involve staying on at school,and he is smart,but lately,it's like it all seems too hard for him,he feels that everyone is smarter than him(not true)and that he is struggling with the work,but I know when he puts his head down,he can do the work.

How can I motivate/encourage him,without loking like I am a nag!

 

Cheers

Tracey

DH - Peter

and mum to:

Ryan ( 03/08/1989)

Joshua(10/09/2001)

Emma (26/08/03)

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Zebette

I don't have a clue about teenagers, my eldest DD is only just 7 so I have a little whil eto go yet but if I was you I would be looking more closely at his behaviour both at school and at home and seeing if there is something more underlying then just not wanting to go to school.

Start by speaking to his teachers and see if they have any advice, perhaps a school counsellor and obviously try talking to your son. You say he thinks he is struggling with his work, would he consider a tutor or study buddy type situation? Are his grades reflecting his inability to cope with his work? Are his subjects all ones with very heavy workloads and if so is there any way to cut back on them a bit..ie take a subject over 2 years instead of one?

I would think it is fairly common with kids of all ages to struggle more towards the end of the year but particularly older students who have so much to cope with in terms of exams and assessments but he's nearly there, the end of the year is soooo close now it would be a shame for him to slip completely.

 

Does he get out with friends or play sport much? Something to balance the pressures of school?

 

Like I say I know nothing about teenagers but couldn't let your post go by un-answered.

Hopefully someone else can chip in with some info.

 

Jo

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Reneej

Tell him if he doesn't want to go to school he has to get job :eg: I know which I would rather do ,

 

Good Luck cheers Renee

 

Paris 16/02/02

Trent 23/11/03

Abby 18/08/05

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Guest toppy

Renee may have the right idea. If possible find out if there's a problem at school. If he decides not to go then start to charge board and make him do own washing/ironing etc. That was the rules my parents set and it worked for us.

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Reneej

Toppy good idea To make him wash and iron etc , I am dreading when my 3 are teenagers lol

 

Cheers Renee

 

Paris 16/02/02

Trent 23/11/03

Abby 18/08/05

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ramath

thanks to everyone who has repled so far,love some of the suggestions,but I don't want him to leave school just yet!The thing is,neither does he!

He is not spending any more time than normal in his room,eating as much as always...

I spoke to his careers councillor at school and we are getting together with the VET/VCAL co-ordinator, and DS to see if we can work out a path that will suit him,with subjects that interest him,he just hates sitting in a classroom all day,he is much happier hands on.

I think he is just "being a teenager",but he is the first and I don't really know whether to leave him alone or "interfere!"

 

Cheers

Tracey

DH - Peter

and mum to:

Ryan ( 03/08/1989)

Joshua(10/09/2001)

Emma (26/08/03)

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Kayleesmum

Just wanted to tell you you're not alone on this one! My BIL who is 16 (he's nearly 18 years younger than my DH) started to refuse to go to school when he was about 14 or so, my MIL tried everything, even to the point of getting the vice principal to the house to escort him to school! He is a smart kid as well, we suspect something happened at school, but he won't open up to anyone so we're pretty much in the dark about it.

 

He now does home schooling and is doing quite well at it. He's a bit of a recluse and is very much a home body and doesn't go out much and doesn't have many friends his age. It may have to do with his upbringing, as his brother and sister are so much older (18 & 17 years older) and my SIL's now DH lived with them for a while as well so he was always surrounded by older people.

 

Good luck with everything and hope this is only temporary!

 

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