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~4LittleDucks~

Am i being Ridiculous????

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~4LittleDucks~
Im in urgent need of advice,my soon to be 6 year old ds
has just run in from school, all excited cause his best friend has invited him over tomorrow arvo to play.He is only half way through kindy, and i just feel he is maybe a little bit young for this.I have meet the boys mother and she seems lovely but i have never really left my ds with anybody and the thought makes me feel a little uneasy.I dont want to be over protective,i realise he is growing up and it happens sooner or later, any opinions would be greatly appreciated..

ME:29
DH:32
DS:Rhys 2nd July 1999
DD:Georgia 28th November 2002
D?:Baby #3 Due:17/01/2006

<a href="http://www.babysfirstsite.com"><img src="http://www.babysfirstsite.org/newtickers/ticker/37681.birthdue.png" border="0"></a>

This message was edited by jayamyc on Thursday, 23 June 2005 @ 4:06 PM

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Sammie4
Hi there. Is there any reason why you are assuming he is meant to come without you? Maybe the invitation extends to you?? I only ask because that is how it has worked for us over the years...parents are welcome as well unless otherwise stated.

If not, well, I'd be going anyway. I agree, he is too young to go alone, unless you know this family really well. I don't even do 'drop offs' at birthday parties until they are much much older. I'd rather be over-diligent than slack or neglectful IYKWIM.

So, if you are unable to go too, if I were you I'd just suggest another time or for his friend to come to your place first.

But no, you aren't being ridiculous. I often see kids as young as 3-4 yrs old riding their bikes (without training wheels...how do they do that???) around the streets here unsupervised, and I'm proud to say I'm not like that. My oldest children don't even get to ride on their own (except maybe once or twice).

Your children are exactly that, YOUR children, and you (and your partner) are the only ones accountable for your childrens whereabouts, so don't feel bad if you don't feel comfortable with something.

Good luck! original.gif

DS1-11yrs, DS2-9yrs, DS3-nearly 5yrs, DD-18mths, DH-gorgeous wonderful man!! Me-struggling but happy!

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everycloud
I still get a little uneasy when my 8 yr old has plays after school. So it's a perfectly normal reaction.

I don't think 6 is too young. DD has been going to friends houses (we take her and pick her up) since she was 5 ish and she has special needs (which makes me a little more protective)

If you don't know the parents at all, maybe cancel, but it will happen one day. If you know the parents, take him yourself and go inside (check the place out!) and if you don't feel comfortable, stay there too.

Good luck... my dd was invited to her first sleepover the other day (and boy was I nervous) but she ended up calling us a few hours after she got there to come home. She knew she wasn't ready to stay the night there and knew what to do. He'll be fine!

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Sammie4
We don't 'do' sleepovers as a general rule. One of my neighbours DD was molested at a sleepover by the father, and after talking to a few of my friends, have just told the kids we only have sleepovers with family and a few very good friends we have known for years.

My kids don't mind, they say almost proudly that we don't 'do' sleepovers unless you become really good friends with my mum! wink.gif

Stick to your guns.

DS1-11yrs, DS2-9yrs, DS3-nearly 5yrs, DD-18mths, DH-gorgeous wonderful man!! Me-struggling but happy!

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Fabulous
I believe that 6 is old enough. It's perfectly normal for you to feel protective and a little uneasy when your child is gaining more independence and going somewhere new. When you go to drop your child off it may be a good idea for you to go inside and have a bit of a chat with the mum before you go home. This way you can quickly survey the environment to make sure everything seems okay and you can also get to know the mum better.

This message was edited by Saka on Friday, 24 June 2005 @ 2:56 PM

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Cake
I think this is individual, and it depends on how comfortable you are with trusting the parent to look after your child.

My girls have been going to friends' houses since they were about four, but only to the families that I was comfortable with, there are certain friends now, even though my eldest is 7, that I won't let her go to.

But on saying this, Bailey wanted a sleepover for her 7th birthday. Out of 10 kids, there was only one that came for dinner but didn't stay over, and out of the ones that stayed, about 4 of them I'd never met the parents until they came to the door. If it was the other way around, I wouldn't let Bailey go to a sleepover unless I knew both parents well, and had a lot of contact with them. So I was actually surprised at how many kids were allowed to stay over.

Suggestions?
-Make the first playsession only for an hour, that way its not too long for him to be away from you, and you can decide (and get your sons feedback) afterwards whether you are happy to have it happen again.
-Dawdle when you drop him off, so you do get asked if you'd like a coffee, if you don't feel comfortable enough to ask outright if you can stay. Or dawdle when you pick him up, so you can get a feel for the family, and the situation.

or
-have the child play at your house first and offer the mum a coffee- either when she drops him off so she stays a while, or when she picks him up- so you can get to know her a little, and you're comfortable seeing how the kids play in your own home.

x KateH


IPB Image



Kate-27. DH Matt-30. DD Bailey-7, DD Olivia-5, DS Dayne-3

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Sammie4
I'm surprised so many parents are so trusting. I honestly don't understand how you could let your child go to someone elses place you don't even know. We have had a few close calls which were enough to prove to me I am not silly to be careful. I'm not talking about the surname thing so much, I've known people fairly well without being aware of their last name. I look at what the family's like etc.

Twice now my kids have been invited for a playover and the parents went out and left the kids alone in the house!! This was at ages 9 & 10. Two totally different families. I have other things that make my hair curl, but don't really want to go into it here.

Just be careful.



DS1-11yrs, DS2-9yrs, DS3-nearly 5yrs, DD-18mths, DH-gorgeous wonderful man!! Me-struggling but happy!

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