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gooddad

Funny pregnancy/birthing stories??

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gooddad

As I am sure you are all aware, you tend to lose your mind just a little while pregnant!!

 

Reading all the intense discussions on here I thought it might be time to lighten things up a little.

 

What is the funniest thing you, or someone else has done due to pregnancy?

 

I have one.

 

After my wife had given birth and was in the maternity ward with bub. After a few days she said to me- (whispering)"Seany, none of the ladies in here look pregnant!!!" to which I replied- "maybe because they have all had their babies???"......"ohhhh, yeah!"

 

Another one.

 

I was in the common room of the maternity ward making some toast, there was a new mum in there waiting for the kettle to boil. After a bit she asked "excuse me, do you know why this kettle isn't working?" I went and had a small chuckle to myself. She had the kettle sitting straight on the bench with the base of it sitting right next to it wondering why it wasn't boiling. I picked the kettle up and placed it on it's base, "that might help." She just shook her head.

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mtold

birth story -

I was giving birth to my daughter and the doctor said -

 

'It is easier to have a baby if you open your legs' and I replied can I do that on the next one. :rolleyes:

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emwill

My waters broke right on midnight when having DD2 and the contractions were coming all on top of each other with immense pain that I couldn't talk or breath for that matter. DH said "Aren't you forgetting something"... What the??? You haven't wished me a Happy Birthday yet!!! :o Your kidding right!!!He was laughing hysterically...I was trying not too. cause it hurt too much :cry: at 12.29 he had his birthday present! And thats ALL he got! :grin: A pretty GREAT present if I do say so myself! Emma

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beck22

About 2 minutes after I had just given birth to our daughter after a 36 hour labour my DF said to me "lets have another one" he was totally serious. I could of strangled him.

 

He still wont give up on having another one already.

 

Beck

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Alina0210

Just as DS was born… he was placed on my tummy and DH said “he’s got big balls”.. and then he nearly passed out. LOL

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Road_to_somewhere

Was not funny at the time, but upon attending the hospital for an appt, I was trying to fit into the lift (there was already two dr's and a bed in there) One Dr turns to me and says come on suck it in :wacko:

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silver-rain

A friend of mine was in labour and yelling at her DH to put some socks and undies in her hospital bag for her. After bubs was born, she went to the bag to discover that he'd put his jocks and footy socks in the bag :lol: She said they were more comfy than hers, so she didn't mind!!

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mum2boys02

After 18 long hours, Cody was placed on my chest, Craig close by adoring his new son and I vomited... all over my new son & my hubby too.

 

Way to welcome a new child into the world.

 

Having the Epidural my sister did a #2 on the table, then went off her nut at her DH for farting, he wasnt game to tell her what it REALLY was lol.

Edited by mum2boys02
  • Like 1

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Guest abidjanaise

Before DD2 arrived, I made it clear to everyone that I didn't want any visitors in hospital -- except DH & DD1.

 

About 20 minutes after I gave birth (I was still in the delivery suite), my two brothers-in-law arrived, one with his Chinese wife & a bottle of champagne and some Chinese takeaway food. The midwife was really surprised when DH let them into the delivery suite, and I was not impressed.

 

I was lying naked on the gory delivery bed, holding the baby naked on my chest, catheter in, with only a sheet to cover me.

 

They waltzed in and proceeded to open the champagne and pass it around with the food, even eating and drinking in front of me. I couldn't even get one hand out from under the sheet to hold a glass, much less two hands to hold some food and a fork. They kept coming up to lift up the sheet and look at the baby (talk about invading personal space). I was using my one free hand to clutch the sheet to me as best as I could.

 

I was shooting dagger-eyes at DH who started wolfing down the food & champagne. It took them almost an hour to get my unsubtle hints and leave.

 

I don't know what'll happen with DD3's arrival as no one seemed to take my wishes seriously in the first place! No visitors, please.

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kristabelle01

When I was in labour with DD1, DH decided it was time to turn the light on as dusk was approaching. He went over to the wall and pressed the first thing he saw - the cardiac arrest alarm :o:lol: The poor midwife (who was new to the hospital) couldn't get to the door fast enough to yell out that everything was ok - apparently the whole hospital would have come running... DH still tells everyone 2 and a half years later :rolleyes: I was mortified at the time. :blush:

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It'sbeenawhile

I was nearing the end of my labour with DS2 and was sitting on the side of the bed sucking the gas and leaning on my mum. DH was sitting opposite me, i started to get the urge to push and as i did my waters broke....all over DH's feet/legs. I opened my eyes brielfy to see him jump/leap across the room! I stood up and 2 pushes later jack was out!!

Poor hubby had been saying for weeks that the waters breaking was the worst part of labour (FOR HIM ANYWAY!!) and then they broke all over him, he still tells the story!

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amber84

My son was born on a toilet...... My DH likes to tell everyone lol

 

Being a very fast progressing labor, 1.5 hours total. Before we left for the hospital i needed to go to the toilet... and my DH wasn't impressed, told me not a good idea as i might have the baby their and then... well I didn't but when i got to the hosp and got into the delivery suite had to go again, an well got up from the toilet and that was it my son was coming right their and then....., so even though it wasn't my toilet it was still a toilet lol... DH said to me I am not aloud to go near a toilet with the next one! :lol:

 

also as things happened so quickly we didn't have a chance to drop DS1 off at his nan's house so he was their with us... when i came out of the bathroom with the baby and got onto the bed, He told me the baby was a naughty boy because he didn't wait for me to get on the bed to pop out!

Edited by amber84

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lani82

I was so high on gas with #1 I fell off the bed head first, luckily someone caught me around the hips. I was left dangling while they screamed for help, apparently I couldn't stop laughing. :blush:

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Guest roomformore

these are great.....

 

i went into labour with my first at 7am and didn't realise this was real labour until 11am.. i had done some ironing, had a shower, just niggly contractions really..

 

rang the obgyn he said come in and see me (2 days b4 due date). by 11.45am we were being seen by him and i was 7cms... ooops now the pain was really bad. he said get straight to the hospital and i will meet you there.. i could barely walk! as i was walking out his door a very pregnant 'Kate Cebrano' walked in and held the door open for me :) i am a big fan, as was in more shock of seeing her than the fact i was about to have a baby...

 

i kept saying to DH, thats Kate Cebrano, he just kept saying 'i know honey, but we really need to focus on getting to the hosptial.'

 

at 12.30 we just made it to the labour bed and had our little boy. i jokingly said to my husband 'it would of been nice if she could come and sing to me during labour' :lol:

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julies1980

i haven't had the experience of labour yet but just reading them is good see the fun side of the whole experience :D

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~Purple Rhino~

When i was in labour with ds1 i had a bad case of the runs for the whole labour, so here i am sitting on the toilet very late in my labour with the gas tube hanging out of my mouth i noticed dh standing with the door to the toilet open and i got self conscoius and asked him to shut the door as the midwife might see me (bright i know as she delivered my baby an hour later) and he commented that with all the gas he thought he better keep an eye on me, so with that i started to sing and dance "you wanna watch me on the toilet" repeatedly, and yes the midwife could hear. :blush:

After i had delivered him we were waiting on the placenta, as i was partially sitting up i watched it come out, looked up at dh and the midwife and said "mmmmmm desert." :sick:

Yes i am all class and yes i had had gas and pethadine.

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Pinkbug
:rofl:

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GrizzlyMadams

After having a C/S I chucked a spaz about the catheter and morphine drip and made someone come and take them out, but I had a visit from the "pain management" team first.

 

Let's just say that 3 x 5mg Endone tabs were too much. I referred to DD as DS for about 12 hours, then a couple of hours after my parents left I turned to DH and said "Were my parents just here?" (they had spent about half a day there) and THEN turned to him and said "Oh, I just realised when we leave we'll have to take the baby with us!"

 

Um, derr.

Edited by GrizzlyMadams

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*Natski82*

:lol::lol::lol:

"mmmmmm desert."

 

I asked DP what it looked like (The Birth) with her coming out etc, expecting a detailed response on what a beautiful experience it was, I simply got with his pale face

 

"Its seen better days" :blink::lol:

Edited by ~PrincessHollie~

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smudged

According to DH, one of the best bits was when the midwife told me "no I couldn't have the baby on the toilet, (I'd been slepping backwards on it, so I had a bruise on my head from the button), so how did I want to labour". I turned to her and said "No I can't look that up online whilst at work".

 

I'd also replied to another question with "I'd like a cup of flour".

 

Thankfully I'd told DH what I wanted and he made sure it happened :grin: But yea, from about 10am- 4:30pm, I was alseep on the toilet backwards.

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~~~

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Just what I needed :lol:

Edited by veronicab

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WOBGEM

First Labour (DS) - Quotable Quote was from my OB who had just done an internal on me in his rooms. It was 1 day past DS's EDD and he moved his fingers and WOOSH all over the bed, and the floor (OB jumped out of the way) and OB said "Hmmm, that wasn't meant to happen!" LOL... he wasn't attempting to break my waters... I got him back giving birth at 11:48pm after a 3 hr labour - sorry Doc!

 

2nd Labour (DD1) - I arrived 8cm and Middy said she woudln't check me again as the baby was just 'there' and only membranes holding bubs in. I was in the shower for a little while and just got to the bed to have gas when OB arrived... OB broke waters (this time on purpose) and I got back off the bed and back sucking on the gas. After about 4-5 contractions OB asked "If I was going to push?!?!" and I said "No, I think I'm fine like this, thanks anyway tho!" (I was off my bits on gas, & buck naked with my head leaning onto the bed ... off my chops!) ... Middy took the gas off me and 'hid' it under the pillow ... I gave her a filty and punched the bid (Massive tantee) ... and then said "OH, alright then!" ... and birthed my DD1... I checked her bits and said "She's a girl" ... OB said yes, and I so "NO, she's a REAL girl" ... what did I think he thought she was :blink:

 

DD3 - Went into labour with her, arrived at hospital, DH put the TV on and said "Great Sharapova is playing, you'll have someone to grunt against!" :lol:

Edited by Bowie

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lorri38

Love these posts..... So here is one from me.

 

Funny now - not then....

 

With my first i got a labour with the lot - long labour, forceps, episiotomy, blood transfusion, you name it. So you can imagine how happy i was just after my son was born, i needed some help and looked over to find all the midwives attending to my ex-DH as he had fainted - flat out on the floor! Poor thing, the birth was too much for him.

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~obsidian~

Bowie I hear ya on the gas...

 

With our daughter's birth I was standing labouring and doing a bit of an Irish jig type dance move to get me through contractions and was starting to think I was a leprechaun - I said to the middy "Is it St Patricks Day?" (it was July).

 

Preggy story - got in my car about to leave work, thought "OK, why aren't we moving", I had sat in the passengers seat...

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AnotherFeral

A friend also had the gas during labour, and apparently out of the blue said, "But Bert and Ernie aren't gay, they're brothers!"

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