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Freddie'sMum

C'mon ladies - lets go out with a bang ! Would you have a baby after the age of 60?

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Freddie'sMum

So I'm reading my NZ newspapers to try and keep up to date with what's happening the land of the long white cloud and find this:

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/parenting/baby/123467743/new-zealands-oldest-mum-gives-birth-at-64

I read this and then re-read it because I think this lady is nuts !  She travelled overseas (to a former Soviet state) to do this because obviously she would have passed whatever the cut-off date for AC / IVF in NZ.  She didn't tell her adult children what she was doing and then she had to travel back to NZ early  (beause of Covid) and her family guessed she was pregnant.  I kinda got the feeling that the adult children were none too happy about the whole situation and I think the Mum was presenting it like a fait accompli.

I am trying to remember our early days when the girls were babies and it was exhausing.  Just freaking exhausting.  I can't imagine re-doing it all again in my sixties.  Starting again with a newborn when I was within spitting distance of retiring.  I know there are thousands of grandparents out there raising their grandkids (for many complicated reasons) and I take my hat off for their effort and how hard they work.  

Our kids are now 15 and 13 years old respectively and I am tired.  DH is tired.  Life hasn't gotten any simpler or easier since they were babies, in fact some parts of life have gotten so much more complicated.  I guess I am saying I personally wouldn't get pregnant, have a newborn after the age of 60 and I think anyone who does really should talk to a professional counselor / psychiatrist first.  

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seayork2002

No because then the child would have to have me as a parent at 60 & 70 as they grow and I personally would not do that to them

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BadCat

Oh hell no.

Couldn't think of anything further from my mind than wanting another kid.  I didn't enjoy it the first time round, buggered if I'd go back again.

Besides, I'm a bad parent.  Ask my mother. (My mother who told me that months ago and I haven't spoken to her since.)

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TigerQueenofSheeba

**** no! 

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PuddingPlease

To be blunt, she is 64 and will be 80 by the time her son is 16. There is every chance that one of her adult children will end up parenting him before he reaches adulthood, I'm not surprised that they are unhappy and think the decision is pretty reprehensible in light of that. 

Nobody can predict the future and misfortune can happen to anyone but loss of some independence and capacity in your 70's is not an outlier, it is the norm. 

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Gruffalo's Child

I'm feeling faint just at the idea!     No, no, no no no!

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TigerQueenofSheeba
2 minutes ago, PuddingPlease said:

To be blunt, she is 64 and will be 80 by the time her son is 16. There is every chance that one of her adult children will end up parenting him before he reaches adulthood, I'm not surprised that they are unhappy and think the decision is pretty reprehensible in light of that. 

I agree that doing that is very unfair and selfish.

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MooGuru

Shit no. 

What an incredibly selfish decision making process, not talking to her children about it and openly lying to them. 

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gatheringpieces

Oh hell no. I'm 36 and had my last this year. I am so much more exhausted than I was at 25 having my first. 

My 63 year old mother spends a few hours with my kids and is done. My dad can't even last that long haha

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Freddie'sMum

Reading between the lines - I think PuddingPlease has hit the nail on the head.  The mum has done this and then just rocked back home, pregnant and her adult children now have a baby brother to think of.  God forbid  if anything bad happens to the Mum, then she has placed her adult children in a very complicated situation - do they step in and become the parent to their baby sibling or do they let the State / Govt step in? Christ - can you imagine going through the toddler years again when you yourself hang out for your very own Nanna nap each day?

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ytt

Poor kid :( he will be a young child looking after his ageing mum

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Chchgirl

I'd rather swallow razorblades soaked in bleach 😁

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PuddingPlease
1 minute ago, Chchgirl said:

I'd rather swallow razorblades soaked in bleach 😁

At least you wouldn't get Covid 😂

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wilding

Im 38 and pass on another one, adoption or abortion, I'm not really keen on having another. My folks are in their mid 60's and my legs just clamped shut at the thought. Choo Choo that's the sound of the train passing by. Thank god for today's choices.

Edited by wilding
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Tinky Winky Woo

Not at 64, that is just self indulgent.  I would be worried that the child would end up being taken care of by the adult siblings or would end up having to care for me.  Yes babies are cute, yes it's nice to spend time with them BUT that is a fleeting moment that passes very quickly as they grow.  Toddlers are hard work, school run, all that goes with growing up is hard work.  

My other issue is that there are many people who would kill to be parents but either can not due to health, financial, or other issues, how is a 64 year old having a baby when she already has kids fair.  Many people are denied the procedure, even if they travel O/S.  

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Caitlin Happymeal

Yeah I’ve got nothing supportive to say about this... I am exhausted thinking about more kids even in my late 30s. Nuts to that. 

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ImperatorFuriosa

**** no. 

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Jane Jetson

Yeahhhh... okay, I like to try and not get too judgey, but I'm not always great at it.

This sort of thing is where I declare "I'm not going to judge" but I am definitely wearing my mother's most judgey, cat's bum face poo expression while I say it.

Each to their own and all that, but it's still nuts.

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humphreybear

No bloody way. 

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hmmph

I'll help us go out with a bang. All life is sacred and we should try to bring as many humans into the world, whatever our circumstances. 😁

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amdirel

**** no. 

Also, how bloody selfish of her.

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Team Awesome

I’m 37 soon and my youngest is 10. No way would I want to be starting over at 60 when all the baby stuff was done for me by 30. I feel old watching my SIL do it and she’s 7 years younger than me.

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purplekitty

Hell no.

And I didn't.

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needs to get out

wonder if anyone has changed their mind?

I would not. But then again if I were to be pregnant and have a baby now I would happily have it... 

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Chchgirl
2 hours ago, PuddingPlease said:

At least you wouldn't get Covid 😂

This is true 🤣🤣

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