Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Hummingbird82

2.5yo girl holding on to wee - what to do

Recommended Posts

Hummingbird82

Hello,

I'm after the collective wisdom of EB please. My 2.5 yo daughter started toilet training yesterday. She went to family daycare in her undies. She did one wee in 10 hours after she was taken to the toilet - on the floor.

Today she also held on but the carer put a nappy on her at lunch which stayed on for the rest of the day. She had a big wee in her nappy after her sleep but it's been dry since.

 

She had a uti a few months back so I'm concerned holding on is going to cause problems. What should I do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22Fruitmincepies

An immediate reward for doing a wee? I know lots of people don’t like rewarding with chocolate, but I find it really motivates my kids and they do naturally drop the need for the reward. A Chocolate freckle or a marshmallow are the rewards of choice here. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Leslie Knope

Is your daughter ready to toilet train? Has she shown signs she is ready? You know your daughter better than anyone but maybe she isn’t ready yet. 

Sorry if that doesn’t seem helpful but I wouldn’t be starting if she isn’t ready. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fizgig

I stressed a lot about my daughter at a similar age because she would hold on for an age. I even took her to the doctor once as she hadn’t done a wee in about 20 hours. I also tried taking her in the shower to encourage a wee but no luck. In the end it turned out that she was just a camel. Would wee 1 or 2 times a day and that was normal for her. It did make it hard for her as when she needed to go to the toilet she REALLY needed to go. So it is possible that your daughter does hold on well and doesn’t need to go frequently. 
 

On the other hand I wonder if maybe she is stressing too much about not having an accident and she doesn’t quite have the control to hold and release on command. This could just be a practice thing (she has only been trying for a couple of days) or it could be a little early for her. You may want to have a break and try again in a few weeks. Make sure everyone is relaxed and positive about toilet training. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hummingbird82

Great advice thank you. I think my daughter absolutely understands what she needs to do but doesn't feel comfortable going in the toilet. She is extremely strong willed in every way and I think if she gets an inkling that I want her to wee in the toilet, she won't do it!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fizgig
4 minutes ago, 22Fruitmincepies said:

An immediate reward for doing a wee? I know lots of people don’t like rewarding with chocolate, but I find it really motivates my kids and they do naturally drop the need for the reward. A Chocolate freckle or a marshmallow are the rewards of choice here. 

I used a prize jar. Lots of little things like stamps, stickers, paint sticks, wrapped up. DD got to pick one whenever she did a wee in the toilet. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hummingbird82
6 minutes ago, 22Fruitmincepies said:

An immediate reward for doing a wee? I know lots of people don’t like rewarding with chocolate, but I find it really motivates my kids and they do naturally drop the need for the reward. A Chocolate freckle or a marshmallow are the rewards of choice here. 

I tried to reward her with a tiny teddy - her ultimate bribe food. She didn't do a wee and just got upset. What do you do in that case?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fizgig

Hummingbird she sounds almost exactly like my eldest. Stubborn and strong willed! I got DD to come shopping and choose the prizes for the prize jar. She knew what was in there and was very motivated to get one. The prize jar was on the bench so always visible. We talked about how she could have a prize for a wee on the toilet then left it up to her to choose that. It didn’t take long. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hummingbird82
4 minutes ago, Fizgig said:

Hummingbird she sounds almost exactly like my eldest. Stubborn and strong willed! I got DD to come shopping and choose the prizes for the prize jar. She knew what was in there and was very motivated to get one. The prize jar was on the bench so always visible. We talked about how she could have a prize for a wee on the toilet then left it up to her to choose that. It didn’t take long. 

This sounds like it may work! Thank you. I would need to make her know about a reward and then just sit back and wait! Genius 🙂 thank you for the suggestion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BrainFart
13 minutes ago, Hummingbird82 said:

I tried to reward her with a tiny teddy - her ultimate bribe food. She didn't do a wee and just got upset. What do you do in that case?

At the beginning we gave a reward for trying irrespective of the result.. took a bit of the pressure off in the early days. 
 

I remember my son sitting on the potty, with an iPad for a bribe (only way I could get him to sit for a few mins !). He’d sit there for 15mins having a good old time and then stand up, walk to the coffee table and wee on the floor ! I realised he wasn’t ready and we gave it a break for a bit longer. 
 

for my daughter she was self-motivated so the reward was icing on the top for her

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22Fruitmincepies

My DS has just toilet trained himself, he doesn’t like the toilet (except at daycare). We use a potty or he’s allowed to do a wee in the garden. An alternative if the problem is the toilet itself. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hummingbird82
2 minutes ago, 22Fruitmincepies said:

My DS has just toilet trained himself, he doesn’t like the toilet (except at daycare). We use a potty or he’s allowed to do a wee in the garden. An alternative if the problem is the toilet itself. 

Great idea. Thank you. I will try alternatives.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22Fruitmincepies
19 minutes ago, Hummingbird82 said:

I tried to reward her with a tiny teddy - her ultimate bribe food. She didn't do a wee and just got upset. What do you do in that case?

Actually it sounds like she might be a bit confused as to how to release her wee. She’s got the holding bit but maybe the releasing bit is proving more tricky? 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
VVV

This was us - my daughter around the same age was holding on for hours and hours on end. My mum was so worried about her one day that she put her in a warm bath just to release the wee involuntarily. We stopped all talk of toilet training etc for about a month, put nappies back on then tried again a month later and she did really well, understood it really quickly and wasn’t holding on. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
rosie28
Posted (edited)

My DD was like this, and can still hold for ages. She didn’t want to go at daycare, she was fine everywhere else. Her carers ended up saying she would have to go back in nappies because they were worried about how long she was holding for. I ended up telling her she would have a nappy put on her at lunchtime if she hadn’t weed by then and that worked for her. In your case I’d suggest talking to her about it, but if she’s not going at all, try to catch a success. Put her on the toilet after dinner before her bath, run the tap and read her a book. See what happens and make a big deal if she goes.

Edited by rosie28
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hummingbird82
7 minutes ago, 22Fruitmincepies said:

Actually it sounds like she might be a bit confused as to how to release her wee. She’s got the holding bit but maybe the releasing bit is proving more tricky? 

She always stands in the bath and wees before sitting down which makes me think she can control it.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jenflea

I'd back right off from any pressure on her. 

Pretend you're not bothered at all by her TT and let her work it out.  Reward success, ignore failure and she should get it in another day or 2 if she's like my DD.  

If she can hold on and wait till the bath to let go, she's ready to TT, just stubborn(like my DD). 

Also maybe up her liquids so her bladder is fuller faster  maybe? 

Is she drinking enough during the day now the weather is warming up a bit? If she doesn't drink much then her bladder will take longer to fill and feel full I'm assuming. 

DD had 3 tiny wees the first day of TT, then held on for a good few hours the next day and even now at 10 can last for HOURS if she has to. I actually quite like it, because I've never had to RUSH to find a loo when out!

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hummingbird82

Just a bit of an update. 

I put my daughter in nappies after she held on all day and she weed like normal at daycare in the nappy which was good. I decided to not push her at all and the FDC was also supportive of that.

This morning she had a nappy on and then tried to put her undies on over the top. I asked her if she wanted a nappy or undies on and she said undies. I helped her put them on and then sat her on the toilet 30 mins later while we watched the wiggles toilet song. I praised her for sitting on the toilet.

 

About 20 minutes she came to me and said wee toilet. She had done a wee. She wanted to sit on the toilet so she sat and watched the wiggles toilet song again.

Then we headed out to a wildlife park. I asked if she wanted nappies or undies and she said undies. After 40 minutes of being there I asked if she would like to do a wee on the ground and she said yes. She then wanted to be totally naked and did a wee on the ground which I know isn't great parenting but I wanted to go with it with her.

So amazing progress. Obviously I can't strip her naked in public every time she needs a wee but it seemed like good progress. Any advice is welcome 🙂

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GingerbreadWoman

This may sound odd, but it sounds like she might be used to weeing standing up and is perhaps having trouble changing to sitting?  Obviously not a long term solution, but can you try and see if she will wee in the bath or shower at home? If she knows when she needs to go and can tell you then she it sounds like she is ready but doesn’t quite have the muscle control yet. My DD did a lot of wees on the floor in the first few days of wearing undies - she would say she needed to go, sit on the toilet, often for some time, and then wee (involuntarily) as soon as she stood up. 
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hummingbird82

I think you're right about this Gingerbread woman! It sounds just like her. She also has some possible low muscle tone issues - she gets ndis funding for developmental delay - so you could be spot on! Thank you

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PandoBox
On 10/10/2020 at 3:31 PM, Hummingbird82 said:

I think you're right about this Gingerbread woman! It sounds just like her. She also has some possible low muscle tone issues - she gets ndis funding for developmental delay - so you could be spot on! Thank you

Can you update hummingbird 

DD is the same.. I've just started to TT her and she's holding onto wee's for dear life. She will sit on the potty for ages and will only wee when busting. I was filling her bath the other day and she started crossing her legs while standing and I could tell she needed to go and then when she let out a few drops I put her in the shower and told her to let go and she started crying but did let go.

This morning she's spent nearly an hour on the potty and no wee 😪

To get weed out of her so she would relax ive been putting her feet in warm water and playing water sounds on youtube but otherwise no go haha

Edited by PandoBox
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hummingbird82

Hi pandobox, that sounds really hard. I'm sorry to hear your DD is holding on too. 

With my DD, I backed right off and put her back in nappies for daycare (5 days a week). I then started giving her nappy off time in the evenings and weekends. She would sit on the toilet for the wiggles toilet song which has helped a lot. I bought the wiggles toilet song book and another girl toilet training book about being a big girl. 

Last weekend she did a wee in the toilet. Then nothing since. I take her every 30 minutes or so, she sits and we sing the wiggles song and she gets a sticker to put on her chart. This morning I asked if she would like to wear a nappy to the shops or undies and she chose undies. We were out for 2 hours and when I got back I said let's go and do a wee in the toilet and she did another one! 

I'm really not pushing her, and she's only done two but it's great progress. She's not holding on anymore.

Also, she's the sort of child who doesn't like an audience when she's working things out. So I got a seat/ladder for the toilet and leave it on the toilet all the time so she can choose to go to the toilet herself without me. She may have done a wee that way yesterday. She told me wee toilet and took me. I wasn't sure if she had done one or not.

Good luck! I would maybe decrease the time she's sitting on the potty - just take her every 30 minutes and get her to sit on for 20 seconds or so. Both times my DD has done it on the toilet, it was a couple of seconds after sitting down. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...