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VVV

Would you try for a second baby with depleted savings?

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VVV

My DH and I have blown through our savings recently but want to start TTC, we are heading towards the end of our fertile years so not ideal to put it off. Are we mad? We have fairly stable jobs, bit what is stable in this day and age anyway. What would you do?

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RichardParker

There’s no good time to have a baby. Depends what your other circumstances are. Do you have a house?  Mat leave?  We didn’t have any of those things and I still had the second baby. 

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Prancer is coming

I agree, depends on your circumstances.  Are you intending on having time off work after the baby is born?  Is your partner’s wage enough to cover all your costs if you are not foing back to work.

 

For me, I am risk adverse and being stable is important.  You never know what comes with a baby - premature birth, health worries (both baby and you) .  And then throw in corona where plenty of people with jobs that seemed safe ended up not being able to work.  

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TinyGiraffe

It would also depend why you have blown through your savings and how big the savings were relative to income.. if it has been a big planned expense vs unplanned expenses or generally supplementing your cost of living and how you would afford to take time off for a baby. 

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rosie28

I think it would depend on why you’ve used up your savings, and what your plan is for maternity leave/contingency plan for one of you not being able to return to work or only being able to work in a limited way (in case of a medical condition with the child or arising as part of the pregnancy). 

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Tinky Winky Woo

Years ago when things seemed more economically stable I would have said just do it.  Now I would be cautious due to the economic impacts from Covid and the not knowing how many more jobs will be lost.  It would make me nervous that I couldn't support both kids.  

In saying that, money might always be an issue.  

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Winter frost

I think if you can manage financially I wouldn’t wait. You don’t know what the next year or so will bring, but as you rightly note having a baby is time limited.

If you are close to bankruptcy and don’t have housing then maybe be cautious, but if it is ok but not as good as you would like and you know you want 2 then I wouldn’t wait.

 

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MadMarchMasterchef

If its not a rude question, how old are you?     

Theres so many variables to this, like do you have family support ? 

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VVV
4 minutes ago, MadMarchMasterchef said:

If its not a rude question, how old are you?     

Theres so many variables to this, like do you have family support ? 

Not rude at all - I’m 38 and have moderate family support.

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MadMarchMasterchef
Just now, VVV said:

Not rude at all - I’m 38 and have moderate family support.

In that case I'd be more tending towards the trying asap.  Not that I mean you should worry, just I probably wouldnt wait. 

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Meepy

Don’t worry about the money, at 38 I’d start trying immediately.

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Pooks_

Depends on the kind of lifestyle you have and want and how many sacrifices you are willing and able to make. Most people in baby producing years work pay to pay, and have mortgages, expenses and debt right up to their tits, and don’t have much of a life for a bit. It never worried me particularly because I was always broke anyway. Not sure I could go from being a bit more comfortable like I am now *touch wood*, backwards to where I was 5-10 years ago when we had the babies. It kind of sucked, but it wasn’t forever. 

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Ellie bean
55 minutes ago, VVV said:

Not rude at all - I’m 38 and have moderate family support.

I wouldn’t put off ttc in those circumstances 

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22Fruitmincepies

VVV you’ve been on the fence with this for ages haven’t you? Or am I mixing you up with someone else? 

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BECZ

Unless you are major debt, I wouldn’t put it off due to finances as I think (for me personally), we always find a way to make it work.

 

We had our first two before we bought our house, but we had no idea when or if that was ever going to happen.  We did hold off trying for no.3 for a while as we were house hunting and I really wanted to buy something before no.3 arrived. Not for financial reasons, but more that we were living in a 2 bedroom unit with two kids already and it really wasn’t big enough for another.  Ok for a newborn as their cradle and change table easily fit in our room, but I didn’t want to get stuck with no.3 needing a bigger bed and us still living there, plus I really didn’t want to move again in between that place and buying something.

We also weren’t in the same situation as you as I wasn’t working anyway, but as long as you are surviving week to week and are no longer going backwards financially, I wouldn’t  let that hold me off.  I would be more inclined to consider (not that I’m saying you should) holding off due to the unknown situation around Covid, as like I said before, most people find a way to make it work.

 

I also think I have my aunt and uncle to thank as they wanted to be financially stable, eg. own their house outright, no debt etc. and they then struggled for years to have a baby and ended up adopting. I think it changed my outlook on the situation and made me realise that nature can’t always wait.

Edited by BECZ

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Silverstreak

For us, the answer was no. I'd had DS aged 36 and I was tempted to try again at 38, but we decided not to go ahead. Occasionally I feel a bit wistful for what may have been, but honestly, no regrets. We enjoy DS and to be honest, life is hard enough with having the one, sometimes! I am a cautionary tale though, as DS has additional needs and requires extra support. If I had two kids right now I'd be feeling pretty stretched. 

That said, in my own experience, once your biological clock is loudly ticking, it's pretty hard to turn it off! If you really want another baby, that feeling will probably stick around. Given your age, I'd probably start TTC now if that's what you desire. All the best with whatever you decide! 

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WaitForMe

Not enough info. It depends what depleted savings means, and how resilient you and your DH are.

For instance, if it means you will need to return to work within a few weeks and you don't think you can handle that, then no. If this is your first child then its more of a guessing game.

If you have depleted savings, but income is good enough that you think you can take a decent length maternity leave, then test that theory out and start living like that now.

 

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José

You haven't given enough info for anyone here to actually advise you. 

Like a PP I have a child with additional needs so that would factor highly in my decision. Could I give another child what they need, time wise and financially. ? And having a child with additional needs has definitely impacted my career trajectory and earnings. 

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~Jolly_F~

I would do it. But then as someone who had lived pay to pay (along with a significant portion of the population, EB is not a go old representation of normal honestly) for most of her life, I think you can make most things work when you have too. Savings are nice but not essential. 

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SummerStar

Edited by SummerStar
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born.a.girl

What did you blow your savings on?

I've seen people here use that language for spending that increased the value of their house, which is vastly different from taking a first class cruise on the Queen Mary - and much as I loathe the idea of cruises, that sounds quite attractive from lockdown melbourne.

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CrankyM

I guess is depends on what you spent your savings on and if you have steady work that isn’t necessarily going to be impacted by the current recession and covid crisis. I got made redundant and DH lost his job when our 2nd was 4 months old. It was incredibly stressful and it took time to get a new job (3 years for me, 8 months for him). It you are already struggling to make ends meet with one child, well. I’m risk adverse though. And didn’t realise kids get more expensive as they get older (and that a lot of disabilities don’t necessarily become obvious until they are a bit older. By the time we realised there was problems we had another child. Who also has diagnoses). 

In the current climate? Unless I was an essential service that definitely had work for the next 3-5 years I wouldn’t do it. Then again I’ve always said if I could go back I would have a much bigger gap between my two or only have one. And I seriously am not sure how I’d feel bringing a child into the current world environment. 
But it’s very individual. 

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Soontobegran

VVV if you both want to have a baby, you have stable jobs and quite good support then unless you've got a lot of debt and live the high life I would say...'why not'.

If having savings was a deal breaker then we'd have no grandchildren so we are beyond grateful that it was not a prerequisite.

Good luck.

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MadMarchMasterchef
23 minutes ago, CrankyM said:

I guess is depends on what you spent your savings on and if you have steady work that isn’t necessarily going to be impacted by the current recession and covid crisis. I got made redundant and DH lost his job when our 2nd was 4 months old. It was incredibly stressful and it took time to get a new job (3 years for me, 8 months for him). It you are already struggling to make ends meet with one child, well. I’m risk adverse though. And didn’t realise kids get more expensive as they get older (and that a lot of disabilities don’t necessarily become obvious until they are a bit older. By the time we realised there was problems we had another child. Who also has diagnoses). 
 

Its a very good point that kids get more expensive as you get older!  But I guess none of us could see the future really.    Maybe the more important thing is to think about different scenarios and have a plan B.  EG what if I lost my job,   etc and think about how you will manage those situations. 

 

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Popper

Ok I am going against the grain. I would not have a second baby if I was in a precarious position financially. Agree we need more information though. If you are both employed and can rebuild the savings then that is a different story. If you are in a vulnerable position and have depleted savings due to no income then that would be too risky and irresponsible in my opinion. 

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