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laurs

Quitting school in year 11

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Cerridwen

This is my son. Things started to go down hill at the end of year 10. His father and I probably spent more time at the school in the first 6 months of year 11 than he did. He just completely lost interest and despite making many promises to put in some effort, he just didn't. The school ended up telling him he was wasting everyone's time and it was best he took the remainder of the year off to think things through and to come back in the new year and start again. I knew he was not going to go back no matter what anyone said. We are in regional Victoria.

He basically bludged around for the next 6 months. He did some labouring work here and there and some hospitality work. Decided that waiting tables on a Saturday night wasn't as exciting as he thought it was going to be and he didn't like not having any money either. Turns out he does have a fantastic work ethic though and is really motivated when he enjoys something. He did a few weeks of labouring, went out and bough a set of tools and a tool belt with his pay and now has an apprenticeship. His new boss was so impressed just with the fact that he was motivated to kit himself out and be ready on his first day of his trial. 

So there is hope. He is still only 17 and has found his place. School just wasn't for him. I don't completely know why but I am now glad that we didn't try and force him to go because it was never going to work. It was just going to be really stressful for everyone concerned.

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kerilyntaryn

Maybe your GP can put him on meds or does he have a pediatrician

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.Jerry.

Wrong thread sorry...

Edited by .Jerry.

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MummaofFive

My DS1 left in grade 11 and we never looked back. He matured and was much better being able to follow his interests. Trades offer a wonderful career and prospects. 

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BusbyWilkes
On 15/09/2020 at 12:37 AM, kerilyntaryn said:

Maybe your GP can put him on meds or does he have a pediatrician

This was what i was wondering too. I wouldn’t want a GP, no matter how good, putting a young child on psych meds for the first time. But for a teenager who is nearly an adult, in your circumstances, it may be a good starting option. You still have the psychiatrist apt booked, so can review things then. Many people (rightly or not) are on medication for anxiety and/or depression without ever seeing a psychiatrist. 

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Aughra

I left school in year 11 in the 90s.  I'd always been an excellent student but didn't cope when my parents divorced.

I've done some TAFE courses since then and never had trouble finding a job.

In some ways I wish I had persevered with school and gone to University so I would have a proper career and better options in life.  I feel like I missed out on that whole high school/uni time of life.  But I wasn't coping at the time so it wasn't the right thing for me.

There are so many options to study and change careers later in life these days.  I think it's okay for young people to take a break and find a different way forward if they need to.

 

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a letter to Elise.

My nephew left last year at the end of year 11. He was 17. He chose to leave for a couple of reasons. Firstly, he knew he needed a major operation this year, and year 12 might not work out, depending on his recovery. Secondly, he has a very specific career in mind. He’s very motivated, and working very hard towards that goal. He started a diploma at the beginning of the year, then took 3 months off for his surgery, and is starting back for the second part of the diploma now. He may use his current studies to move into some sort of university study. 
 

if it’s just a case of leaving because they hate it, then I think some sort of plan is helpful. Even if that is to work for a year, and then go onto some sort of further study, or back to finish school at TAFE. A conversation about what life looks like on minimum wage when you’re 30 might help too, but probably not until the anxiety has been worked on. 

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Demera

I don't have personal experience to add, but I've had discussions on this topic with a friend who doesn't think her kids (primary) will want to finish high school.  My opinion is that it's nice to finish year 12, but not essential to happy life.  I'd rather my kids spend the time pursuing something they're really interested in than wasting time at high school.  But that depends a lot on if they have an interest they are keen to chase, especially if it's something you can't really learn at school. Those early years gaining skills and experience count for a lot, especially before you have the added weight of 'adulting' on top of it.   Skills can be obtained in many, many ways, not just at high school, Tafe, Uni etc. 

Does he have an interest to pursue?  Does he want to work in any job just to be working?    Sitting around on mum and dad's couch isn't a valid answer. 😉 

 

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Dadto2
On 04/09/2020 at 7:10 PM, laurs said:

My DS17 has completely disconnected from his schoolwork this year. We have been remote learning for much of the year and when they were FTF he missed a lot of school due to “illness” (can’t say suck it up and go to school during Covid). 
He has long had some level of anxiety and depression but it has increased to such an extent that even talking about doing schoolwork triggers major anxiety attacks.

The reality is that he has never taken responsibility for schoolwork. Homework was only ever done under duress and studying was non existent. He was smart enough to make it through anyway.

So at this point we are thinking that even if the mental health wasn’t an issue, maybe school and study in general is just not for him. I know I would be judged for letting him quit but I’m not sure we have an option. I can’t make him do the work as much as I want to but the idea of him quitting with no plan for the future is extremely upsetting for me.

So, can anyone tell me any stories to make me feel better about my DS quitting high school without completing year 11 or 12? Do you know kids who have done that and it’s turned out well for them?

 

The education system is so outdated. Gone are the days where in order to succeed in life you needed to graduate high school with decent grades, go to uni etc. It obviously increases your options if you can leave with good grades, but I have so many mates that left school at 15, 16 and are doing very well in the respective trades they have chosen. 

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JRA
3 minutes ago, Dadto2 said:

The education system is so outdated. Gone are the days where in order to succeed in life you needed to graduate high school with decent grades, go to uni etc. It obviously increases your options if you can leave with good grades, but I have so many mates that left school at 15, 16 and are doing very well in the respective trades they have chosen. 

I think the difference is today the whole apprenticeship thing is so so different. Firstly there are so few of the classic apprenticeships available, and even those that are available are quite different to the "old days".

There is also a whole raft of different schooling options now available with things like VCAL (Victorian Certificate of Applied Learning )and VET. (I assume other states have similar)

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Kiwi Bicycle

Just chucking it out there that the government will be pushing gap year teenagers to try to help with the shortage of workers for harvesting and farming.  Maybe working the land could be a good fit? I have friends who have gone into the farming/ dairying industry in NZ and is often an overlooked career ( especially by us city dwellers) and is becoming extremely important in the current time. 

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TigerQueenofSheeba

In Qld you just have to be 16 or have completed Year 10. My 16 year is finishing year 10 this year and has decided to drop out. I'm disappointed but it's his life and his decision. He knows the possible results of these actions. Nothing I can do about it sadly.

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Pooks_

Mental health first, always. There are programs designed to help young people map out different pathways, the school may have some relationships. It’s okay not to have a career in mind and to follow your nose for a bit, but getting some advice is a good idea. If he likes computers, a cert 3 in IT could be a good step, give him a chance to see what he’s good at and interested in. Your local TAFE will have advisers. School really isn’t for everyone.

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Dadto2
31 minutes ago, TigerQueenofSheeba said:

In Qld you just have to be 16 or have completed Year 10. My 16 year is finishing year 10 this year and has decided to drop out. I'm disappointed but it's his life and his decision. He knows the possible results of these actions. Nothing I can do about it sadly.

What does he want to do? I had quite a few mates that did this, bummed around for a bit and quite a few went back to school in their early-mid 20s. 

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