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kimcam1971

What To Do About Meltdowns

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kimcam1971

My DD is 14 years old has meltdowns that go from 0%-100% in one go. Sometimes it can because she cannot find something a few weeks ago it was about a bra which was not washed, on Friday she had a Meltdown over not tying her shoelaces properly, on Monday she had a meltdown over not bringing home her homework, she also had a meltdown over the right textas for an OT session. My DH gives her negative attention by yelling at her and threatening to take and sometimes taking away her Ipad. My DH also tells her she is behaving badly and sometimes when she has a meltdown tells her to breath.  How should the meltdowns be handled and is it part of being a teenager.

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ainira

Hi OP, has your DD always had issues with regulating her emotions or are the meltdowns relatively new?

My DD is only 7 and would go from 0 to 100% in a similar way. The only thing that helps in the moment is staying calm and helping DD to problem solve -- much easier said than done! 

 

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blimkybill

I think i remember your daughter has a disability? That can make emotional regulation harder, and being a teenager also makes it harder.

I would talk to your OT for some ideas. Also do you have a psychologist, or funding you could you for a psychologist or behaviour support practitioner?

Usually kids who have difficulty regulating themselves don't do well if an adult gets loud and angry. What they actually need is to see how other people regulate themselves, and feed off that. Ie, you stay calm, and that helps her regain calm. Boundaries need to be enforced as calmly as possible. 

Has her life and routines been disrupted by covid? That could be contributing to her feeling out of sorts and more on the edge. 

Prevention is better than cure so making sure her emotional needs are met, and needs for routine and security, as well as working out what the triggers are and teaching her some ways to respond that don't involve a meltdown. That's where the professional help is needed. 

Overall, moods are part of the teen years, as is some degree of lashing out. But if it's quite severe definitely use the supports you can access to get help. Getting behaviour support can really make a difference. 

 

 

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