Jump to content
triangle

Bored at school and disruptive

Recommended Posts

triangle
Posted (edited)

My child is in year 2... mixed 1/2 class. Small school so was in the same class/teacher last year. Is the very oldest in the class now, missed the cut off for being in the next year by a day or so.

Academically is very bright. Ahead in all areas in literacy/maths. However getting any engagement in literacy tasks this year has been met with sheer stubborness, refusal, physically hiding under tables.  This is resulting in being sent to the office to do work almost daily. Then goes to the office, mostly does work requested. 

Because it is boring. However, incredibly capable,  just in his personality to find it tedious. But, given maths/science/electronics/robotics etc and this kid will blow your mind. 

I feel the problem is twofold. Majority of peers/friends have gone in to the next year level class. 

And he is just bored. Multiple requests to spend time in the  next class up for even some lessons have been flat out refused. Too hard logistically, and because he isn't doing the work requested in the first place, the teacher is refusing to reward this negative behaviour.

I've tried so many times to get them to see it from a different perspective, that he is bored. The teacher said she extends him once he has done the basic class work first. I have asked why? If you know he can likely do something more challenging, why are you insisting on him doing the basic stuff first. I said he is almost being punished for needing more challenging work. Her answer was, well do you want him doing different work to the class the entire day? He is not getting the opportunity to succeed in the first place, there is no incentive for him to do the work.

 

He hates partnering up/groupwork/class singing and dancing, with a passion as he gets very frustrated. I have tried to explain that not everyone understands like he does, and that we all need some patience etc. his teacher insists he should be helping those who struggle if he understands and it is a group activity, she wants him to take on a leadership role. I have another child with special needs, so this child cops a lot in that regard too. I want his classroom to be somewhere that his needs are met without him having to deal with what he does at home.

 

I am arranging a meeting with class teacher and principal. I have stated quite clearly that while the struggles are in no way a reflection on his teacher, as I can see she tries to be nurturing etc (my son is quite sensitive) that this class is not the right fit for him this year. I have gone along with their methods for the first half of hte year, but we are now in term 3 and still in a situation where my son is not happy, bored, and not being given what he needs ot learn. I am lost as to what to do next... advocating for my other child with special needs is a lot easier than advocating for this son, it seems. I'd love to change schools but we have parenting arrangements etc which make that a bit tricky. I've been taking him to a psychologist to help support his emotional needs (since separation with ex etc). I just don't know what is reasonable to expect , he isn't naughty as such, but he mucks around, distracts other kids, apparently has poor attitude when given tasks in class.

Edited by triangle

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cherubs

I hope this comes across the way I intend,  as the mother of a bright child who didn’t want to do the boring work, I found it much easier to speak to DS, get him to toe the lines they wanted which were usually quite reasonable once I stopped being resistant.  I told him  the teacher has no evidence you can do harder work because you won’t do the easy work, etc and guided him to take the initiative to get what he wants.

I learned early that the school will work with you, if you work with them, demands are unlikely to be met, but discussion and acknowledgement of your child’s part in the issues, without blaming the teacher or school, makes for an easy path to a different approach.

There is no guarantees with kids though, he started doing well in primary school, but decided being popular was more important in yr 9, wasted two years, and nearly had his enrolment cancelled beginning of year 11 due to grades almost immediately started churning out the A’s, school thinks he is amazing, me not so much 🤦🏻‍♀️ 
 

 

 

 

  • Like 13

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
annodam

I echo what Cherubs has said.

DS has been extended since Yr 3 (he's in Yr 5 now) however, he must complete his set class work on top of his extension lessons if he is to stay in the extension class.

Does that make sense?

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
triangle

thanks, that  is ok. I don't want to come across a someone who thinks my kid is too smart ... I actually find it really difficult ot discuss and raise as I feel like a parent who just thinks my kid is super smart and perfect. He is far from it.  Like i said, I've found it much easier to advocate for my child with special needs.

 

I've tried for 2 terms, am working really hard with my son, to just do what is asked the best you can and life is easier for everyone.  We have tried to get him ot to the work ... but the thing is, this teacher has had him in her class for almost 2 years now... she knows the capability isn't the issue. But I have supported them in their approach the first 2 terms, engaged in open and supportive discussions. Honestly, I am not one ot make a fuss and rarely say anything, and appreciate that being a teacher is hard work,  except that this is an ongoing issue. and things are getting worse not better. Hence my wondering what I am meant to do next... because clearly whatever we are doing isn't working.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
triangle
6 minutes ago, annodam said:

I echo what Cherubs has said.

DS has been extended since Yr 3 (he's in Yr 5 now) however, he must complete his set class work on top of his extension lessons if he is to stay in the extension class.

Does that make sense?

It does.. the thing is... they won't even extend him or give him time with other classes/work... or give him any reason  to  engage, and unfortunately he isn't the kid where personal motivation will do it

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cherubs

I was being general  about my own experience not accusatory,  I know it is difficult.  The only other advice I have is think about what you would like them to do for your DS and go in with reasonable solutions etc, and even ask for their input for what you can do at home to engage your DS, also look for way to do so on your own, he may be most engaged and willing to participate if he needs are being met in some way, maybe after school clubs that play to his talents etc.  I only say this because It sounds like your school aren’t going to go out of their way, maybe you can get them excite to extend themselves 🤗

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
annodam
Posted (edited)

My son has also had the same Teacher for 2019 & 2020, so his Teacher knows him & his capabilities well.

All of last year & first Term this year were a breeze, however being in VIC & forced to Homeschool, coupled with no Sport to keep him occupied (we're talking going from 10hr + training sessions a week to 0) it has been hard.

She seems to have forgotten he sometimes does need her attention & questions answered online & casts him aside or ignores.  You can do that (to some extent) in a School setting by distracting but at home, alone with his thoughts, it has caused some issues with her.  

I'm pretty sure my son was craving some of her attention, just to be praised for good work, working diligently etc., & it was hardly forthcoming.

He has even been very abrupt with his messages to her letting her know straight up how he has been feeling.

Praise & bribery work well with DS & I have reiterated that to his Teacher. 

Catch more flies with honey & all that...

 

 

 

ETA:  I have had to buy more Problem Solving Math books for him to complete.

This is a kid who completed 1000pc jig saw in under 5 days!

Edited by annodam
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Zeppelina
21 minutes ago, triangle said:

thanks, that  is ok. I don't want to come across a someone who thinks my kid is too smart ... I actually find it really difficult ot discuss and raise as I feel like a parent who just thinks my kid is super smart and perfect. He is far from it.  Like i said, I've found it much easier to advocate for my child with special needs.

 

I've tried for 2 terms, am working really hard with my son, to just do what is asked the best you can and life is easier for everyone.  We have tried to get him ot to the work ... but the thing is, this teacher has had him in her class for almost 2 years now... she knows the capability isn't the issue. But I have supported them in their approach the first 2 terms, engaged in open and supportive discussions. Honestly, I am not one ot make a fuss and rarely say anything, and appreciate that being a teacher is hard work,  except that this is an ongoing issue. and things are getting worse not better. Hence my wondering what I am meant to do next... because clearly whatever we are doing isn't working.

 

Please don't be afraid to advocate for him because you're worried about sounding like "that mum" (and I say that as someone who worried for a long time about being "that mum!") You know your child and his capabilities and his quirks. You know the teacher. He deserves to have his needs met, to have the work he's doing at a level at which he's going to be engaged and challenged, to learn and not just do it for the sake of doing the same as everyone else. He should not have to 'help' the other children on a regular basis because the school is not bothering to address his needs.

Could you get him assessed for giftedness? My son sounds a lot like yours with his interests and strengths, and was in a very, very similar situation to yours last year (grade 2, lovely teacher, but not engaged or challenged). We had him tested at the end of last year, took the results to his school (>99th%), the principal was shocked but super supportive after seeing that, and this year his teacher has been meeting him at his level much of the time. And it means that the times when he doesn't have a choice and has to do the same work as everyone else, then he's far less likely to be bothered by it - he's accepted that sometimes it has to be that way, but that other times he gets to do really cool, engaging, and challenging stuff.

Giftedness is a whole other level to 'bright' - my son's brain works in a completely different way to mine when it comes to understanding new concepts, etc. He doesn't need repetition to learn many 'academic' things ('real world' day-to-day life things are a totally different matter though, lol) and if your son is anything like that, then it's no wonder he's bored and acting up at school.

Check out the gifted thread on EB if you have more questions about this (or feel free to send me a PM any time). If you can afford it, I'd say it would be worth doing.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lizzzard

I think schools respond a lot more constructively when you go to them looking for their expert help rather than telling them your suggestion for the solution. We’ve had this for the opposite scenario (DS struggling). In your case I would raise your strong concerns about DS disengagement and ask for their suggestions on how to address that - which is your main worry I think.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
triangle
25 minutes ago, lizzzard said:

I think schools respond a lot more constructively when you go to them looking for their expert help rather than telling them your suggestion for the solution. We’ve had this for the opposite scenario (DS struggling). In your case I would raise your strong concerns about DS disengagement and ask for their suggestions on how to address that - which is your main worry I think.

Thanks, I feel like that is how I've tried to address it initially... and said we haven't encountered this with him before, it certainly wasn't happening last year, what do you think has changed this year that we are now having this issue?  

I feel like, rather than looking for the cause of this change and why he is disengaged and issues arising, he is just being punished and sent to the office everyday for not fitting in to the mold. I get we all have to do as we are told, and he is inherently lazy so that is an ongoing issue too! 

1 hour ago, Zeppelina said:

Please don't be afraid to advocate for him because you're worried about sounding like "that mum" (and I say that as someone who worried for a long time about being "that mum!") You know your child and his capabilities and his quirks. You know the teacher. He deserves to have his needs met, to have the work he's doing at a level at which he's going to be engaged and challenged, to learn and not just do it for the sake of doing the same as everyone else. He should not have to 'help' the other children on a regular basis because the school is not bothering to address his needs.

Could you get him assessed for giftedness? My son sounds a lot like yours with his interests and strengths, and was in a very, very similar situation to yours last year (grade 2, lovely teacher, but not engaged or challenged). We had him tested at the end of last year, took the results to his school (>99th%), the principal was shocked but super supportive after seeing that, and this year his teacher has been meeting him at his level much of the time. And it means that the times when he doesn't have a choice and has to do the same work as everyone else, then he's far less likely to be bothered by it - he's accepted that sometimes it has to be that way, but that other times he gets to do really cool, engaging, and challenging stuff.

Giftedness is a whole other level to 'bright' - my son's brain works in a completely different way to mine when it comes to understanding new concepts, etc. He doesn't need repetition to learn many 'academic' things ('real world' day-to-day life things are a totally different matter though, lol) and if your son is anything like that, then it's no wonder he's bored and acting up at school.

Check out the gifted thread on EB if you have more questions about this (or feel free to send me a PM any time). If you can afford it, I'd say it would be worth doing.

Thank you, that makes me feel better. His psychologist has suggested the cognitive/education assessment, but obviously it isn't cheap. When i mentioned it to the school principal,  he said he doesn't believe my son would be gifted as he does well in all areas, and in his experience gifted children usually excel in only a few areas. My son is a lot more like his father than me, great at maths and science and spatial things, electronics, how pipes work and plumbing and tools, engines and motors lol I try to keep him stimulated with lego and podcasts/you tube, toys and books etc but given the majority of his time is spent at school, and I work... the hours in the day are limited. He is generally very happy at home.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dianalynch

I have one kid that grade skipped, and another kid that changed class (Same grade) mid way this year to be with a teacher who understands that there is no need to do course work that is already well understood , that the point is to learn more, and be challenged so additional skills of persistence and sustained effort are also learnt.
 

What on earth would be the point of continuously doing work that is already well understood? I’d be bored too, and if I wasn’t listened to I would also communicate that with bad behaviour. 

 

You could suggest  your ds spends a week in the higher grade to try it out, low key, see if that is a better fit for him. Then you can all meet to discuss. If your ds doesn’t like it no harm done, he can then tell his class about the week he spent in grade 3. That’s what we did for dd, but she loved her higher grade, the teachers all thought she was ready, and one year on she’s going great.
 

No one made her do repetitive work to prove herself. Education shouldn’t be a sheep dip. 
 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Zeppelina
13 minutes ago, triangle said:

Thank you, that makes me feel better. His psychologist has suggested the cognitive/education assessment, but obviously it isn't cheap. When i mentioned it to the school principal,  he said he doesn't believe my son would be gifted as he does well in all areas, and in his experience gifted children usually excel in only a few areas. My son is a lot more like his father than me, great at maths and science and spatial things, electronics, how pipes work and plumbing and tools, engines and motors lol I try to keep him stimulated with lego and podcasts/you tube, toys and books etc but given the majority of his time is spent at school, and I work... the hours in the day are limited. He is generally very happy at home.

While that's often the case, it certainly isn't always true. My son works significantly ahead in all subject areas at school (with the exception of PE!), but he definitely has other areas in which he's not as strong, such as executive functioning, working memory, body awareness.

There are some centres attached to universities which do testing much cheaper as it is done by provisionally registered psychologists completing their training, under the guidance of fully registered and experienced psychs. The Krongold Clinic in Melbourne is one of these, but there might be some in other states. Where are you located? I'm in a group for parents of gifted kids on FB Australia-wide and there are a lot of links and resources there.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
blimkybill
3 hours ago, triangle said:

Thank you, that makes me feel better. His psychologist has suggested the cognitive/education assessment, but obviously it isn't cheap. When i mentioned it to the school principal,  he said he doesn't believe my son would be gifted as he does well in all areas, and in his experience gifted children usually excel in only a few areas. 

I nearly banged my head on the table when i read this. It is such an ignorant comment. Gifted children are as diverse as any other bunch of children. The definition of gifted usually used in the school system is "achieves a cognitive score in the top 1% of the population" (or some other percentage is sometimes used, but it's based on score in an IQ test). Another definition of gifted used by some is "achieves at a high level in a wide range of learning domains" (as opposed to talented, which is achieving at a high level in one particular domain). Anyway, whichever way you define giftedness, many gifted kids are great all rounders and do well in all academic areas at school. Doing well in all areas by no means rules out giftedness, it actually makes it more likely. 

I think you should definitely follow up on the cognitive assessment. The report you get back will contain recommendations for your son's learning. If he does turn out to be gifted that will give you more ammunition to ask for differentiation, extension, or even moving class. Even if he isn't there will be useful insights there. 

Also, I don't think your son should have to do every tasks the same as others then do extension work on top of that. His tasks should be on the same topic as the class, but differentiated to make them more challenging for him  and designed to stretch him beyond what he can already do.  

It sounds like he is bored and fed up. 

 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Prancer is coming

I have a kid that was bored at school but not completing set class work.  He even got himself on a behaviour modification plan just so he could work on his own doing harder maths sheets rather than doing the ‘boring’ class work.  
 

The school ended up doing a cognitive assessment on him that showed he met the school definition of gifted (iq was not super high, but enough to meet the definition), had a learning disability to do with his writing and indicated ADHD, which was later diagnosed by a paed.  I believe his class teacher would have been surprised with the results, and he was getting Ds in his report for the first time ever just before his report.

 

My experience is the school son’t necessarily pick up issues unless they are obvious or stereotypical.  I think a cognitive assessment makes it a lot easier to advocate as once you have the proof, the school have guidelines that need to be followed.  Otherwise, you can sound like one of the probably many parents telling the school how wonderful your child is when class assessments may indicate something  else.  I don’t think it is always as straight forward as expecting a kid to complete class work before allowing them to be extended, and if he does come back with a high iq, you may end up with a learning plan that will make expectations around work clearer.  

 

It also sounds like your son is having some issues with behaviour at the moment.  Whilst that might be solely around him being not stimulated at  school, there may be other things going on.  The school did plenty of things that really let my kid down down,  but I also acknowledge that his behaviours were probably also difficult to manage.  Plenty of gifted kids out there are twice exceptional.  

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
triangle

Thank you all for the replies, they are helpful and make me feel like I am not wanting too much for my son or being unreasonable.

His last report card was As and Bs  ... a B in literacy because his teacher said she knows he isn't producing work to the standard he is capable of... yet has finished reader levels, done all the sight words/other word lists, I don't know what they are called but he's done them all. 

I have brought up with school since start of the year if he can spend some time in the next class, even if it's just for 1 lesson, and it has been shutdown every time I've raised the issue. The school just will not entertain it. I did suggest that there is nothing to lose by trying... if he does it, and still has the same issues, then we know that and we at least tried, but we are no worse off. 

10 hours ago, Prancer is coming said:

 

It also sounds like your son is having some issues with behaviour at the moment.  Whilst that might be solely around him being not stimulated at  school, there may be other things going on.  The school did plenty of things that really let my kid down down,  but I also acknowledge that his behaviours were probably also difficult to manage.  Plenty of gifted kids out there are twice exceptional.  

Thanks... he certainly has some personality quirks and is particularly stubborn, but I have a son with ASD/ADHD so I am quite certain this child doesn't have any of those issues... he does mimic some behaviours at times but I think they are learned responses from what he sees in his brother, and we try to address those with the psychologist too. 

However, he is left handed and he hates handwriting. I've tried explaining to his teacher... eg the look cover write check spelling is really hard to do for a leftie when the word list is on the left... once i realised that and we came up with a solution he resisted doing it less. But when i mentioned it to the teacher and whether the word list could be on the right, it was pretty much dismissed. Sounds like such an insignificant thing, but for a kid who already dislikes writing that is just another thing, and because it smudges etc he gets annoyed its not neat enough. Then the teacher wants him to produce neater work in higher quantity... but when he tries to write neater he is a lot slower so doesn't get as much done... 

And also you're so right. He is so much happier being sent out of  the class to do his work by himself! 

Because it is a mixed class, he is the very oldest, coming up to 8 1/2.... with children who are just turning 6... he says he is in a class with babies. I know teachers try to aim the class work across all needs of the group.... but it is just such a wide gap in age and maturity for some of these kids

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
triangle
13 hours ago, blimkybill said:

I nearly banged my head on the table when i read this. It is such an ignorant comment. Gifted children are as diverse as any other bunch of children. The definition of gifted usually used in the school system is "achieves a cognitive score in the top 1% of the population" (or some other percentage is sometimes used, but it's based on score in an IQ test). Another definition of gifted used by some is "achieves at a high level in a wide range of learning domains" (as opposed to talented, which is achieving at a high level in one particular domain). Anyway, whichever way you define giftedness, many gifted kids are great all rounders and do well in all academic areas at school. Doing well in all areas by no means rules out giftedness, it actually makes it more likely. 

I think you should definitely follow up on the cognitive assessment. The report you get back will contain recommendations for your son's learning. If he does turn out to be gifted that will give you more ammunition to ask for differentiation, extension, or even moving class. Even if he isn't there will be useful insights there. 

Also, I don't think your son should have to do every tasks the same as others then do extension work on top of that. His tasks should be on the same topic as the class, but differentiated to make them more challenging for him  and designed to stretch him beyond what he can already do.  

It sounds like he is bored and fed up. 

 

Thank you, we have a psychologist appointment coming up so will discuss the testing again ... I'm just hesitant to do it and it be a waste of time and money. I actually don't care whether he would meet gifted criteria or not, but he certainly is a smart kid whose needs are not being met. I don't know a lot about the tests but if they at least give some direction as to what areas he is doing well in that's helpful. Do they also identify what areas he would struggle with? Not necessarily academic but also those other things? Sensory/behaviour type stuff... i don't think we have any major flags there for any issues but if it shows... hey your kid is great at maths but he always forgets to get his jumper type thing lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
triangle
16 hours ago, Dianalynch said:

I have one kid that grade skipped, and another kid that changed class (Same grade) mid way this year to be with a teacher who understands that there is no need to do course work that is already well understood , that the point is to learn more, and be challenged so additional skills of persistence and sustained effort are also learnt.
 

What on earth would be the point of continuously doing work that is already well understood? I’d be bored too, and if I wasn’t listened to I would also communicate that with bad behaviour. 

 

You could suggest  your ds spends a week in the higher grade to try it out, low key, see if that is a better fit for him. Then you can all meet to discuss. If your ds doesn’t like it no harm done, he can then tell his class about the week he spent in grade 3. That’s what we did for dd, but she loved her higher grade, the teachers all thought she was ready, and one year on she’s going great.
 

No one made her do repetitive work to prove herself. Education shouldn’t be a sheep dip. 
 

Its been raised and shot done every request.

Thing is... had he been born 2 days earlier he'd already be in that class, and I don't think any of this would even be an issue.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
blimkybill
27 minutes ago, triangle said:

Thank you, we have a psychologist appointment coming up so will discuss the testing again ... I'm just hesitant to do it and it be a waste of time and money. I actually don't care whether he would meet gifted criteria or not, but he certainly is a smart kid whose needs are not being met. I don't know a lot about the tests but if they at least give some direction as to what areas he is doing well in that's helpful. Do they also identify what areas he would struggle with? Not necessarily academic but also those other things? Sensory/behaviour type stuff... i don't think we have any major flags there for any issues but if it shows... hey your kid is great at maths but he always forgets to get his jumper type thing lol

The cognitive assessment usually comes with recommendations which are very useful for schooling (if anyone bothers to follow them...). It can often pick up certain hidden challenges. Cognitive assessment has several different sub parts. Many people will score in a similar way in all the different sub tests. When a child is very strong in certain sub tests and weak in others it can give a clue that something hidden might be going on. for example, kids with attention difficulties often score lower on a particular part of the assessment than they do on the other parts. If something like that showed up the psychologist might want to delve further, and also combine it with observations (like - he always loses his jumper, etc). Cognitive testing does not look at sensory issues though. 

From the sound of your school, I would think you are going to need some assessment to get any further, or you are going to need to consider a different school. Because it sounds like they are not listening right now.  (Unless you can talk your child into co-operating more and really showing them what he can do... but my impression from what you have said )is they are not listening.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Zeppelina
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, triangle said:

Thank you, we have a psychologist appointment coming up so will discuss the testing again ... I'm just hesitant to do it and it be a waste of time and money. I actually don't care whether he would meet gifted criteria or not, but he certainly is a smart kid whose needs are not being met. I don't know a lot about the tests but if they at least give some direction as to what areas he is doing well in that's helpful. Do they also identify what areas he would struggle with? Not necessarily academic but also those other things? Sensory/behaviour type stuff... i don't think we have any major flags there for any issues but if it shows... hey your kid is great at maths but he always forgets to get his jumper type thing lol

The cognitive assessment my son did was really thorough - the subsections they assess are:
*Verbal comprehension
*Visual spatial
*Fluid reasoning
*Working memory
*Processing speed

The report explains what the child's scores in each of these areas mean. (My son's weakest areas are processing speed and working memory - which are both still above average, but the psych explained that because his other cognitive abilities are  much higher, it can really cause issues and frustrations for him, which made so many things 'click' for me!)

But they also assessed academic achievement and gave a ballpark figure of what level/age group they are working at in areas like:
Reading (accuracy, fluency, meaning, inference)
Spelling
Maths

They also did a behaviour assessment at the Krongold Clinic, and a personality inventory, with detailed explanations of the results in the report we received.

The report then made recommendations to us, and to the school/teachers of what he needs to continue to learn and be challenged, and to thrive at school.

For us it was incredibly worthwhile not just because it has helped us *finally* get somewhere with his school, but also because it has helped us as parents understand him better, and parent him better. Honestly, other than the cost, I don't see any downsides to having it done, and I think I'd say that even if the report didn't tell us he is 'gifted'. It's really useful information to have as a parent!

It seems that the school either isn't listening to you, or isn't willing to do what is required, but with a piece of paper they will be forced to listen.

Edited by Zeppelina
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Crombek

OP I would usually chime in with something really helpful as this is both part of my profession and personal experience, but quite frankly at this point I am completely disillusioned.

The entire system is geared against these kids. I have never, not once in over a decade in my career seen a child consistently accelerated to a higher curriculum, even for single subjects. Individual teachers do what they can, but there is still no time, no money and no training for teachers in how to deal with the top end of ability. 

And the prevailing attitude so many times is that they just need to do what the class does, because they are part of the class. It's so unfair. 

We gave up on last year, accepted it as a write off. We did get the assessment though. It was worth it in our case for me at least. 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Apageintime
Posted (edited)

I can absolutely see why moving your child up 'for just one class' wouldn't be entertained. 

The class might be full, they might just teach this specific hour each week for maths, but have it integrated into lots of different subjects - that if your son isn't present for he then won't understand. The teacher might not be capable or have capacity to deal with his behaviours. It might unsettle him, the old class, the new class all too much. 

Edited by Apageintime
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cherubs
1 hour ago, triangle said:

Thank you, we have a psychologist appointment coming up so will discuss the testing again ... I'm just hesitant to do it and it be a waste of time and money. I actually don't care whether he would meet gifted criteria or not, but he certainly is a smart kid whose needs are not being met. I don't know a lot about the tests but if they at least give some direction as to what areas he is doing well in that's helpful. Do they also identify what areas he would struggle with? Not necessarily academic but also those other things? Sensory/behaviour type stuff... i don't think we have any major flags there for any issues but if it shows... hey your kid is great at maths but he always forgets to get his jumper type thing lol

It won’t be a waste, it will give you a great starting point regardless of the results.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Julie3Girls
2 hours ago, triangle said:

Thank you all for the replies, they are helpful and make me feel like I am not wanting too much for my son or being unreasonable.

His last report card was As and Bs  ... a B in literacy because his teacher said she knows he isn't producing work to the standard he is capable of... yet has finished reader levels, done all the sight words/other word lists, I don't know what they are called but he's done them all. 

I have brought up with school since start of the year if he can spend some time in the next class, even if it's just for 1 lesson, and it has been shutdown every time I've raised the issue. The school just will not entertain it. I did suggest that there is nothing to lose by trying... if he does it, and still has the same issues, then we know that and we at least tried, but we are no worse off. 

Thanks... he certainly has some personality quirks and is particularly stubborn, but I have a son with ASD/ADHD so I am quite certain this child doesn't have any of those issues... he does mimic some behaviours at times but I think they are learned responses from what he sees in his brother, and we try to address those with the psychologist too. 

However, he is left handed and he hates handwriting. I've tried explaining to his teacher... eg the look cover write check spelling is really hard to do for a leftie when the word list is on the left... once i realised that and we came up with a solution he resisted doing it less. But when i mentioned it to the teacher and whether the word list could be on the right, it was pretty much dismissed. Sounds like such an insignificant thing, but for a kid who already dislikes writing that is just another thing, and because it smudges etc he gets annoyed its not neat enough. Then the teacher wants him to produce neater work in higher quantity... but when he tries to write neater he is a lot slower so doesn't get as much done... 

And also you're so right. He is so much happier being sent out of  the class to do his work by himself! 

Because it is a mixed class, he is the very oldest, coming up to 8 1/2.... with children who are just turning 6... he says he is in a class with babies. I know teachers try to aim the class work across all needs of the group.... but it is just such a wide gap in age and maturity for some of these kids

I definitely agree with testing. Especially as you say one of the issues is writing. And especially the age.

My oldest DD was quick to learn to read, flew through the readers. We would notice she would change words occasionally - but always with the right context/meaning, so the teachers just put it down to reading too quick, reading ahead before she read out loud so picking up the meaning.  Her writing was ok at first, but she had a horrible pencil grip that we simply could get rid of.  As she got older, her writing improved, but was very slow as a result. In yr 3, we started noticing her spelling going down. But the teachers kept assuring me it was fine, within average range.  End of year 6, yes spelling still issue, but getting combination of As and Bs for literacy (reading higher, writing average, spelling lower) 

3 weeks into high school - new school, new teachers, and within a month they had picked up on literacy problems. 6 months later, we had diagnosis of dyslexia, generalised anxiety (made worse/triggered by undiagnosed learning issues) . Results also showed she is incredibly bright, so yes, despite the dyslexia issues, she was still getting A and B grades in literacy. 
Talking to the psychologist, bright kids with learning issues isn’t uncommon. Sometimes they react like my child did, putting extra work, causing huge amounts of stress and anxiety. Other kids switch off from the subjects that they find harder, and considered lazy because what they do the work, they get good grades, but just nowhere near what their potential is. 

The reason I’m writing this is to show how easy it is to miss something. I think ANY class can be very hard for teachers when they have outlying kids - either very bright or struggling. The bright kids are more likely to be left to their own devices, or expected to “help the others”, because a kid getting good grades isn’t a problem. 

The other thing .. the ads/adhd issue ... dont rule anything out. As I’m sure you know, it can present in sooooo many different ways, and even being slightly on the spectrum, it can have an impact, especially if combined with other issues - including high intelligence, or learning disorders.  With kids of high intelligence, it can be easy to miss signs, especially when they are young.

hope you can work something out with the school.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jlamd

I have an intelligent but lazy boy who was bored in year 7 and felt he didn't fit in socially. He spent the whole of last year (year 7) sitting in a class room at lunch by himself, he didn't put any effort into his lessons or exams. Mid way through term 1 this year, (yr8) after a 5 minute conversation with the Principal, we had him grade skipped him to year 9. He has a late June birthday, so legally could be in the year above. He fits in better socially with the older cohort, he is putting in a decent amount of effort in class and assignments and his grade have improved remarkably. Sometimes you need a forward thinking school leader who places importance on the individual child.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JomoMum
19 hours ago, Zeppelina said:

While that's often the case, it certainly isn't always true. My son works significantly ahead in all subject areas at school (with the exception of PE!), but he definitely has other areas in which he's not as strong, such as executive functioning, working memory, body awareness.

 

This is (nearly exactly!) the case with our 6 year old DS. Our psychologist was surprised to see him at the same level across all areas, but he does have lower working memory, and his executive functioning even lower again. 
 

Our assessments that led to a gifted diagnosis were not truly expensive, have you considered enquiring? 

I will be meeting with our teacher/Principal in a week or so to discuss an independent learning plan. He is in grade 1 of a 1/2 split so has been lucky until now being able to complete the grade 2 work as well. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...