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Rowena777

After school - what do your teens do ?

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Rowena777

Just curious what your high schoolers do after school ?


Do you allow unlimited screen time ? 
Do they have chores? 

I am trying to get ideas from other parents as I don’t have many friends with my kids ages so am unsure if I’m stressing for nothing. But it just doesn't feel  right. I feel I can’t do my own things after work (exercise , gym etc) as I’m worried my kids will never get off their screens. So I rush home to make sure they are off screens and doing something else. I’m not very happy and either are they! 
Thanks for any tips 

 

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BusbyWilkes

One would gravitate to screens, the other  less so.

They both have sport training, one has a shift or two of work each week after school, one might cook something or read a book. In the warmer weather they would swim/hang out with friends more. 
 

They also have a decent amount of school work to do most days.
 

I wouldn’t be changing my plans eg the gym to go home and police screen use with teenagers. Picking your battles....

Could you come up with a list of a few household jobs, a few leisure alternatives etc? Then ask them to make sure they do one thing off each list before settling in with screens. Eg unpack dishwasher, read a chapter of a book and then YouTube. 

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Milly Molly Mandy

A bit of everything, sport training, hanging with mates, going for runs, going for a surf, school work, screen time. Just depends on the day, the weather, time of year a whole lot of things really. 

They probably spend more time on screens than I would like, but I remember watching heaps of TV as a teenager so can't be too hypocritical. 

My definition of too much is probably quite different to others based on previous EB threads on screen time too.

 

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Mrs Claus

Home from school, homework and then screens/games until dinner. Only tv after dinner but it’s mainly me watching what I want to watch 

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luke's mummu

We have no screen time until 5 pm, so theoretically they are eating and doing homework until then. Hard to police when I am not home. 

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seayork2002
1 minute ago, Milly Molly Mandy said:

A bit of everything, sport training, hanging with mates, going for runs, going for a surf, school work, screen time. Just depends on the day, the weather, time of year a whole lot of things really. 

They probably spend more time on screens than I would like, but I remember watching heaps of TV as a teenager so can't be too hypocritical. 

My definition of too much is probably quite different to others based on previous EB threads on screen time too.

 

same, DS does bits of things so no routine but DH is still working from home due to the virus, I am back but only a 5 min walk from home (I am a very slow walker). He does jobs if we ask but we can't be bothered asking really nor do we remember too.

To be honest if DS does not have homework to do I am thinking the world will not cave in if he sits on a screen for longer than we would like

Yes before anyone comments I am only speaking of my son no one else's child/ren

 

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SFmummyto3
Posted (edited)

Have talked to my teens about the importance of having a break from their eyes looking at screens and for their physical and mental health. It's not perfect but they usually come downstairs for a snack after school..then they may either make a smoothie, bake something, play with the dog, walk the dog, chat for a bit, chat with friends or play online games with them, do music practice, play guitar, then do homework. In normal times they might usually have extracurriculars to keep them out and busy as well. Extra screen time right now is probably a given, especially if you're in Melb/Vic. 

Edited by SFmummyto3

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dadwasathome

Both of ours are mostly on screens. Until i started WFH, DS12 also walked the dog a couple of times a week. I can hear him playing online with classmates, which is probably fair given the COVID circumstances. He does need to be pushed to exercise.

DS17 is also mostly screens, but for different purposes. He's never been a big "catch up with mates" person, although again does so online. He goes for a 10km run every couple of days too.

I think DS17 would value more engagement with performing with music, and getting away from screens would be really good for DS12.

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.Jerry.

Four afternoons/evenings a week DD (aged 14) has activities (Dance, cheer etc.).  Other days (and when not in activities), we don't limit screen time.  She tends to gravitate to that most days.  She also comes out in living area and interacts with us, plays with her cat, plays with her other "toys" etc.  She is pretty balanced, so we haven't had to put big rules in at this point in time.

She does a couple of minor chores but not much really.

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*bucket*

DS has homework (usually involves a screen), reads a lot (usually involves a screen), gaming (obviously involves a screen) and music (hooray - no screen). So a lot of screen time in this house. Gaming is also his social interaction (he started at a new school this year so doesn't see these friends much at all).  I'm not entirely happy with the amount of screen time, but it's too hard to do anything about it, and I can't come up with alternatives. He watches almost no TV at all. Usually he would get some exercise  (at least some fresh air and sunshine) travelling to and from school (it's far), but home learning at the moment, so not even that.

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JRA
Posted (edited)

Is this a trick question.  What is this school thing?

Ok, in "normal" winter times DS has sports training one or two nights a week, and one game friday night and another on the weekend.  Prior to y12 he also had orchestra/chamber two mornings a week., and a lesson after school.  After that yes, he gravitated to screens when not doing home work. He games with his school friends

Currently with only remote learning, and no activities, trying to get DS to go for a bike ride/run after remote learning finishes.  This is working most of the time, he has now worked out he can ride to a park and walk around with a  friend.

Last lockdown he couldn't do anything due to a broken leg.

Edited by JRA
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SeaPrincess

One of mine seems to think exercise and homework are an either/or option, so he does CrossFit on M, W and F, and rugby training on T and Th. In between, he is glued to his phone, despite numerous minders to do homework, revise for upcoming tests, etc. The other one doesn’t have a phone yet, so he sits down to do homework, farts around for a bit, then plays on his Switch. The x-box is disabled on weekdays.

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ljbellus
1 hour ago, SFmummyto3 said:

Have talked to my teens about the importance of having a break from their eyes looking at screens and for their physical and mental health. It's not perfect but they usually come downstairs for a snack after school..then they may either make a smoothie, bake something, play with the dog, walk the dog, chat for a bit, chat with friends or play online games with them, do music practice, play guitar, then do homework. In normal times they might usually have extracurriculars to keep them out and busy as well. Extra screen time right now is probably a given, especially if you're in Melb/Vic. 

This scenario is almost the same for us. Just replace dog with cat (and no walking the cat) and guitar with piano. Nice to see we are similar to others (in Melb)

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No girls here

Two teens here, 16 and 14 year old boys.

Chores - Between them they are responsible for cleaning the kitchen every night ie emptying dishwasher, washing up and wiping down benches. They sort the whole family's washing. We ask them to do other jobs as needed such as washing the car. DS2 will also have to add walking and cleaning up after the dog to his chores when we get one in a few months.

Screen time - I pretty much allow screen time when they don't have anything else on during school terms. In holidays I am more likely to be restrictive but no set rules, just ensuring they get outside enough. To be honest it is really about making sure DS2 gets out enough as DS1 has never been a screen addict.

Activities and exercise during the school term are:

DS1:  soccer (2 x training, 1 x game, approx 2 x refereeing per week), youth group, tutoring 1 hr per week. He walks to and from school 1/2 hr each way per day and hangs out with friends a fair bit. He is also learning to drive.

DS2: soccer (2 x training, 1 x game), youth group. Walks to and from school 1/2 hr each way. He doesn't do a whole lot with friends that isn't online but he's usually up for a family board game or similar if asked. 

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Dianalynch

Go to the gym and get them off their screens when you get home, you need that time :) 

alternatively, give them set chores to do, tell them you’ll stop paying for wifi unless they’re done by the time you get home. 

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**Tiger*Filly**

After school activities of some sort, either at school (band, orchestra) or other places (sport, dancing, music lessons). Sometimes they hang around with their friends at the local shops. The eldest now sometimes gets driven places by his friends since several have a license and he doesn’t. 

Otherwise, we’re at work so they mooch and do stuff on screens. 

All of that is pretty much what I did as a teen. I watched a hell of a lot of TV as a child. Probably explains why I like it so much as an adult. 

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Meepy

In non COVID times, sport training 3 nights a week, production rehearsals for half the year, half hour walk home from school, going to a cafe/shopping centre with friends etc.

Right now, screens, screens and more screens.

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EsmeLennox

Depends on the age of the teen. A 13 year old is very different to a 17 year old...

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Prancer is coming

My 13yo does sport 3 after school afternoons nights a week and 1 night session.  She does band 2 mornings a week before school.  She does not have a lot of homework, but if she has an assignment due she will always do it.  She debates as well, so will spend the required time needed on that without promoting.

 

We don’t turn the tv on during the school week (I generally make an exception for Thursday nights as it is a sports night and it involves coming home cold).  One afternoon a week I am at work and she is home alone.   I am sure she spends the whole time on you tube, but don’t mind as I know  this is just one afternoon.  She does need to cook tea, and I make it clear I cannot take her to sport that night if she does not cook tea on time.  She spends more time than I would like alone in her room on her phone.  She purposely has an old phone that is really slow and needs to have my permission after School hours to log onto her computer, which I will happily give if she is doing homework.  
 

If you really don’t want them on devices, can you just shut the internet off?  Or get them to come with you for exercise to unlock the wifi?  I know it isn’t always that easy, but there are some ways to control the wifi if you are concerned.

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Kreme

My kids both have dance, sports training or games 4 x week. Pre Covid they would have probably hung out with friends after school on their free afternoon before getting the train home. They don’t have a huge amount of homework but they get that done and then they are on devices, chatting to friends (DD) or playing games while chatting to friends (DS). if DH is around he will take DS to the local park to kick a ball around. DD might practice her netball shooting in the backyard. 
 

I just keep them quite busy and then in the remaining time I don’t mind if they’re on devices. Which is pretty much like my life really, get done what needs to be done and then relax. 

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Ferelsmegz

My 16yo comes home, eats everything, does his chores, has a shower and then games and watches movies (hes Y11 but not ATAR and has spare periods at school where he does his homework).

My 12yo goes to the park with her friends until 4:30 then home to do chores. shower and homework - then she will call/talk to her friends for most the night. She also has sport once a week.

I am at the gym 3 nights a week.

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Tinky Winky Woo

Afternoon tea, homework, shower, dinner, screen time only if homework is done before dinner and there is time left before dinner.  One day a week is tutoring, then sports training, sometimes after school commitments.  Work on weekends in paid roles.  

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can'tstayaway

2 teens here. They have sports or extra curricular activities 3 mornings a week and 2-4 afternoons a week depending on sporting season. 

When they get home, I try to leave them alone to chill and wind down while they have afternoon tea.  Sometimes they will make afternoon tea from scratch as a change from school/friends etc. Other times they just zone out on their phones and forget to eat.  I figure they have pretty exhausting days and this is pretty much their only free time to veg for a bit.

After sports training, I encourage them to shower asap and get into some clean, comfortable clothes.  I aim to have dinner ready for 6pm and the kids are expected to help out as needed with dishes, cooking, taking bins out etc. They do their homework after dinner. 

One of the teens is pretty good with their device so we haven’t had to restrict their use other than the occasional gentle reminder. The other teen we’ve had to use the control features of the iPhones to restrict the total number of hours per day and downtime so that we didn’t have to argue about it each day.

We have a rule of phones off at 7:30pm.  The teens think it’s unreasonable but that’s our rule for school nights. We are more relaxed on weekends and pretty much no restrictions during school holidays.  They understand that access to their devices is conditional on behaviour and attitude towards school work and extra curriculars. 

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amdirel

Unlimited screen time, as long as they have some kind of balance with exercise, homework, and after-dinner chores. The age changes things too, the almost adult makes his own choices with just some gentle encouragement from me. The 15yo and the 13yo I have to nag quite a bit.

But OP if you have the time and the inclination to go to the gym, GO!! You have to look after yourself too! You don't need to stay home to look after teens. I'd be letting this argument slide.

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liveworkplay
Posted (edited)

Eat, sports trainings, eat,  homework, eat, walk the dog, eat, screens, eat. TBH, after a day concentrating at school, I don't begrudge them a bit of downtime after school. 

Edited by liveworkplay

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