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Surprise 3rd pregnancy

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avocado toast

I just found out I am pregnant with my 3rd and it was definitely not planned!! I even took the morning after pill but unfortunately it failed.

 

I have two kids already, a 4 year old and 2.5 year old and was very happy to be almost out of the baby stage!! I’d already started planning big family holidays and I’ve given away all my baby stuff as well.

I will be continuing this pregnancy but I just feel overwhelmed about having 3 kids. Can anyone please share their experiences of having a third? We have enough space and financially we will make it work but it’s more the mental and physical toll it will take that I’m worried about.

 

help!!

 

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3babygirls

hugs to you.

I'm pregnant with my 3rd and i'm definitely feeling a bit stressed about the logistics of having 3! We were undecided about having another baby and just left it to chance and pretty much got pregnant straight away.. so I was a bit shocked and then panicked because I wasn't 100% sure that I wanted another one. Covid-19 has pretty much made me feel worse about the situation as well because everything seems so scary and unknown at the moment, especially the birth and whether we will be able to even have our other kids meet the new baby :( My second is only just 1, so there is going to be a very small age gap between my youngest two. 

Most of my friends who have had surprise third babies have ended up with perfect little angels who they absolutely adore and were easier than their older kids, so I keep crossing my fingers because my other two were horrible babies! 
 

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Sleep Debt

Antedoctal evidence but it seems more than 2/3rd of people I speak to the 3rd was a whoops (including our 3rd!).

During the pregnancy I wasn't in a great headspace ... the shock and having only 20mths between 2 and 3. I can't say I enjoyed the pregnancy and there were concerns for my mental health. But, once he was here .... that kid must've known to bring an extra dose of cuteness and chill earthside with him. For us, it did work out in the end. It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows - three is a lot of work. But, he's been the best major accident in my life to date. 

Plus time zooms by and you'll be back to having three in school in no time. My third starts full time school next year, and it has gone by in such a flash. I remember it felt like a millennia for the eldest to start full time school haha. 

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Milly Molly Mandy

Different situation to you but my first two were very close in age and very busy boys. It was exhausting and I didn’t really enjoy it. There is 4 1/2 years between 2 and 3 and I really enjoyed those early years. My transition form 2 to 3 was the easiest of all. 
 

good luck.

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CrankyM

My best friend had an accidental third. There is 6.5 years between her 2nd and 3rd. But she enjoyed it so much she went back for number 4. I won't say her pregnancy or the first few years were not hard, as her oldest was being treated for leukemia at the time and the logistics side was a bit of a nightmare. But D is a pretty cruising kid. It also helped that her 2nd is also one of the mellowest kid's I've ever come across. (My youngest and him are born 6 hours apart. Mine youngest is errr not mellow). She does find it a bit hard sometimes though, as she has a child in yr 8, one in yr 4 and two kids who haven't started school yet, though they do go to daycare and the 3rd is in 4yr kindy now.

If you are struggling, maybe chat to someone. I know talking to someone, professional or otherwise lets me process things and work on creating a picture of how things might work.

Oh and Congratulations.

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Crombek

My number 3 is only 2 so I'm not sure I've done this long enough to really answer but my first thought is - I hope you enjoy chaos! I found the third pregnancy the hardest, but I was also I was on my own a lot and working.

Temperamentally she's not as hard as number 1 but harder than number 2. I think I'm fighting an uphill battle with humility here - she has her brothers and father wrapped around her little finger and is the biggest diva I know. She has me figured out too, but I will deny it to anyone who asks 😉

Congratulations. And good luck. 

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Lallalla

Our No.3 was a surprise too - we have a 21 month age gap between our oldest and our twins. We were vaguely considering 3 kids but thinking more of a 3 year age gap, not 2 minutes!!

I know it’s a slightly different circumstance but I spent a lot of that pregnancy terrified of how I would cope with 3. But I did/do, they’re now 4 and 6.

As PP said be ready to embrace the chaos! On plus side your older 2 will only get better at playing together between now and the baby coming - it amazes me how well our girls keep each other entertained and how much they now play together (when not fighting of course)

 

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Kallie88

Our third was technically planned but decided to join us much sooner than expected lol, 14 month gap between #2 and #3. he's nearly 2yo now. It's a roller coaster having 3, lots of chaos but plenty of love. The first year was a bit of a blur for me, but i'm sure the age gap was a big part of that. I think we've been very lucky, even though he's got stroppy as he entered toddlerhood, like any kid, overall he's the happiest little guy I've ever met and he brings an extra ray of sunshine to our family every day.

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Sancti-claws
3 hours ago, CrankyM said:

My best friend had an accidental third. There is 6.5 years between her 2nd and 3rd. But she enjoyed it so much she went back for number 4. I won't say her pregnancy or the first few years were not hard, as her oldest was being treated for leukemia at the time and the logistics side was a bit of a nightmare. But D is a pretty cruising kid. It also helped that her 2nd is also one of the mellowest kid's I've ever come across. (My youngest and him are born 6 hours apart. Mine youngest is errr not mellow). She does find it a bit hard sometimes though, as she has a child in yr 8, one in yr 4 and two kids who haven't started school yet, though they do go to daycare and the 3rd is in 4yr kindy now.

If you are struggling, maybe chat to someone. I know talking to someone, professional or otherwise lets me process things and work on creating a picture of how things might work.

Oh and Congratulations.

Not my story, but a friend of mine who had boys DD1s age or older also became pregnant same time as me (10 years gap) apparently unexpectedly - and then went on for another (and finally a girl) to give the new one a companion!

Good luck and congratulations.

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MadMarchMasterchef
Posted (edited)

I have 3,   1.5 year gap then 6 year gap.     I personally found age gap makes a huge difference - having 3 far apart was easier than 2 really close, so far anyway. 

Maybe not so much your middle child but your oldest will be 5 or nearly 5, so they can do a few things for themselves and that should help.  

The baby stage may be a bit easier as you know what you are doing by the time the 3rd one comes. 

I will say its harder than I thought to give each child one on one time, but it is possible. 

Remember its OK to take 'shortcuts' during the early years if that's what you need to do.  If the kids miss bath one night their heads aren't going to fall off.  If they have toast for tea its no biggie. 

 

Edited by MadMarchMasterchef

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avocado toast

Thanks everyone!

its all so overwhelming

 

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Nut

I have three. 12.5, 11 and 6.5...

I personally found the jump from 2-3 a little harder in some ways, but nothing that would have stopped me from doing it. The four year gap meant I had one in year 1, one in preschool and a newborn. Having those interruptions to sleep patterns was a challenge. My third was also very... Active and provided me with some challenges I did not have with my other two, who were both very placid. My eldest is also Autistic and we had to work with therapies and all that as well. It's different for everyone. Would I go back and make different choices? Not at all. My youngest is such an amazing kid and I couldn't imagine life without him. You will be fine. You'll take it in your stride and before long it will just be life and nothing new and scary. 

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