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Changing adult child’s bed sheets.

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GingerbreadWoman
43 minutes ago, 3babygirls said:

My 3 year old strips her bed, it's actually one of her favourite 'chores' to do. She makes her bed too, but I do the fitted sheet part and help her tidy the top up (much to her disgust lol). I'll take it while I can. 

My 4 year old loves changing the sheets too :)  She will happily pull everything off all the beds and will carry the pillow cases to the laundry while I take the sheets. I am under no illusion that this will continue into her teens! 

I was responsible for doing both my own, and my youngest siblings by about 10. Like another PP I remember that Saturday morning call for washing.

To me it is more strange than the adult child and partner are happy to have the parent going into their space whenever to collect washing/make the bed than it is that the parent does it... if the parent has always done it then it is probably just habit for them. 

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BadCat

Mine have been required to do their own for a long time.  How long between washes is not my problem.  If they wanna sleep in stinky sheets it's not my problem.

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-Emissary-
Posted (edited)

My 12 year old tries to do it himself. He strips and put them on. I give him a hand with putting the sheet and his quilt cover on.

He is asked to change it when we change it. 

DH or I laundry the sheets. 

I’m pretty sure my mum still changes my 29 year old brother’s sheet for him. Probably because if she doesn’t do it, it’ll never get done 🤢

Edited by -Emissary-

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PuddingPlease

I try not to judge but changing and washing the sheets that your adult kids have had sex on gets a massive nope from me.  

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ytt
Posted (edited)

I have adult children - nearly 18 and nearly 21.

I did make them strip and remake their beds for a while but I have this horrible personality trait where I hate asking for help took over and I just go in there and do it each week, it's just an easy chore for me to do. I hate anyone doing the washing or stacking the dishwasher (they do put stuff in the dishwasher but I restack).

So I know the issues are all with me and the way I was brought up - divorced home, we had to go to my dads for the weekend where we had to clean his house top to bottom, including his jewelry - hello 80's , so I think that has rubbed off on me and don't ask my kids to do a lot. Look out though if I do ask them to do something and they complain and don't,  I threaten them to move out and do everything themselves (lightheartedly lol) 

I should add that both my kids don't have partners sleeping over or even have 'those' partners so add that to the therapy notes....

Edited by ytt
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MakesMeHappy

I get my teen step children to strip their beds, they are here infrequently. 
 

for DS’s 10 and 7, they assist me to put clean  bedding on. 
 

I have no idea when I will make everyone do a complete bed change on their own. To be honest I hate doing a complete bed change in my own 😂

Also, I just had a thought! I think I get the teenagers to strip their beds as they both have partners sleepover now, so think they can be responsible for that. 

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kadoodle
3 hours ago, ~LemonMyrtle~ said:

I was doing mine, with prompting, from about the age of 14 I reckon. before that, I wasn’t physically able to do it, just wasn’t tall enough or strong enough, and even as a teenager I needed help sometimes. And now, as a grown up, DH still has to help me. I’m only 5’2. So I guess I’d say, they should do it as soon as they are physically able to. 

My mum’s 5’2, and used to get me to put the doona in its cover for her once I got bigger than her, if dad was working away and not about to help. Ditto with opening jars and getting stuff down from the top pantry shelves.

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JRA
4 hours ago, Mummy2twoBOYS said:

Curious in what others think, at what age do you think a teenager, young adult should change their own bed sheets? 
Curious as I have a friend with a 20 year old who has their Own partner, however the parent still insists on changing their bed sheets. Each to their own of course, however curious to hear others perspectives. 

Each to their own.


But there is no way I am changing sheets for a child who has a partner. I am surprised they want a parent changing their sheets.  

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PuddingPlease
2 minutes ago, JRA said:

Each to their own.


But there is no way I am changing sheets for a child who has a partner. I am surprised they want a parent changing their sheets.  

The OP says that Mum insists on doing it so it's possible they actually don't want her in there at all.

Maybe she's trying to provide some incentive to get them out the door?

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Dianalynch

There’s an ick factor to that scenario- so would be a no from me. In general, if I had an adult child that was, say, happy to cook dinner every night, then hell yes I’d change their sheets and do their laundry. Great trade. Just not their sex sheets. 

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Franny and Zooey

I haven’t changed sheets on my teens beds since they were ten.  They do it.

I think some mums of adult children still do the odd task like this for their adult kid to feel like they are still helping them and mothering them.

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Redchick2

My boys have been stripping and remaking their beds since they were about 12. They also are responsible for washing them. They change them every week or so. 

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~LemonMyrtle~
8 hours ago, kadoodle said:

My mum’s 5’2, and used to get me to put the doona in its cover for her once I got bigger than her, if dad was working away and not about to help. Ditto with opening jars and getting stuff down from the top pantry shelves.

I can’t wait until my boys are big enough to reach things for me and open jars. That’s pretty much why I had kids, lol.

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rainycat

My kids are 10 and do it themselves. They need both of them to get the fitted sheet on, it takes a while and is painful if watching but it gets done!

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Luci

I was a boarder at a private school from year 7 onwards (so in SA that was from age 11).  We had to change our own sheets every single Friday morning. Sheets were provided - all flat, no fitted.  We were given one clean sheet each week and you were supposed to put your existing top sheet onto the bottom and the clean sheet on the top. 

My oldest daughter is in her mid teens and sometimes when I am changing her sheets I ask myself if she would be able to do it and remember myself managing quite fine from the age of 11! 

 

 

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Soontobegran
48 minutes ago, Luci said:

I was a boarder at a private school from year 7 onwards (so in SA that was from age 11).  We had to change our own sheets every single Friday morning. Sheets were provided - all flat, no fitted.  We were given one clean sheet each week and you were supposed to put your existing top sheet onto the bottom and the clean sheet on the top. 

My oldest daughter is in her mid teens and sometimes when I am changing her sheets I ask myself if she would be able to do it and remember myself managing quite fine from the age of 11! 

 

 

It was always one sheet only when  we were young with the top going to the bottom. Washing was done one day a week as it involved lighting a fire to heat the water and agitating the washing with a stick in a copper so no washing that really didn't need to be done was done. When I started nursing it was top to bottom too.

I remember wash day which was generally Saturday with mum getting up at 4 am to heat the water and then her disappearing all day in the laundry. Washing really was washing, not just loading and pressing a button.

Changing the sheets as kids was the least we could do to help her out.

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Sugarplum Poobah

Yes, it was the top to bottom sheet scenario when I was a kid too. And I started doing it at around the age of 10. No doonas at that point -- they started being generally available in my early teens and I was given one when I was 15. 

My mum never embraced fitted sheets and stuck with a linen cupboard full of flat sheets. 

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JRA

Definitely top to bottom when I was a kid, none of this needing to wash both sheets. Given the machine mum had a wringer until my early teens, I think that was a relief not needing to wash 8 sheets a week.

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born.a.girl

Still top to bottom here. Loathe fitted sheets, so have three x cotton sheets - top goes to bottom sideways then clean sheet on top.

Advantage of this system is that if you have filthy hot nights, you can put one through a daily quick without wasting water. Did the same after husband's major surgery so he had a clean top sheet after a shower each day.  Otherwise it's a hot, long wash once a week for one sheet and the pillowcases.  

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can'tstayaway

My mum was still changing the sheets for my mid 20’s brother when he lived at home (had just come back from o/s and gone back to post grad study as well as working).  She did all the beds (actually, all the washing) when I moved back home with the family while we were renovating.  It’s how she showed her love and if I had stopped her, it would have felt like a rejection for her. We did other jobs for her instead that she didn’t like doing. 
 

My kids have ‘helped’ change sheets since they were mobile. It has been an inverse relationship with age - when they were young, there was more willingness and less ability. As they’ve got older, there’s more ability and less willingness. 
 

The teens know which day is their sheet washing day (frontloader, takes forever so I spread it out over the week) and I’ll remind them in the morning. The kids strip their beds and load into the machine. I will remake the bed during the day. If they forget to strip their beds, I will do it and they are expected to remake their beds. No one likes making the bed so they’re pretty good at remembering to strip the bed. During school holidays I expect them to do the whole process. 
 

I do it weekly. DH grew up in a house where his mother did all the housework because it validated her so he was not taught how to keep house. He just asked me the other day if it was normal to wash sheets weekly because that wasn’t his memory growing up. I also reminded him, his mother only wash his school pants once a week and shirt twice a week (one set). 

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~LemonMyrtle~
2 minutes ago, born.a.girl said:

Still top to bottom here. Loathe fitted sheets, so have three x cotton sheets - top goes to bottom sideways then clean sheet on top.

Advantage of this system is that if you have filthy hot nights, you can put one through a daily quick without wasting water. Did the same after husband's major surgery so he had a clean top sheet after a shower each day.  Otherwise it's a hot, long wash once a week for one sheet and the pillowcases.  

Derailing the thread here. So you wash sheets separately? I throw mine in with whatever clothes I can cram in there alongside them. Everything gets a 60 degree wash. Not enough hours in the day to wash sheets by themselves. Unless of course I wash all our sheets at once, then that fills the machine one and a half times.

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born.a.girl
3 minutes ago, ~LemonMyrtle~ said:

Derailing the thread here. So you wash sheets separately? I throw mine in with whatever clothes I can cram in there alongside them. Everything gets a 60 degree wash. Not enough hours in the day to wash sheets by themselves. Unless of course I wash all our sheets at once, then that fills the machine one and a half times.

Just put them in ha ha.  The commercial grade cotton sheet, plus pillowcases, plus anything else I want to give a decent wash to - tea towels, sports socks etc.  We do most of our washing on a daily quick. What I call a 'hot' wash is 40 degrees.   I changed that to 60 degrees when first advised with Covid, but that didn't last long.    Given each sheet is only washed every two weeks with my system, I figure it deserves a longer wash.

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Treasure Island

DS16 started washing all his things separately a couple of years ago (his choice). He puts it on and then I usually hang out or put in dryer. He remakes the bed on his own now too.

I mostly wash sheets, towels and clothes all separately but I usually have enough washing to do this. I will do a mixed wash if there isn't enough for full loads.

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wilding

I refuse to strip my son's bed and do his washing. He has 2 working hands and is capable of doing it himself. If he was living out of home, he would be.

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