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Minnie80

Restless sleeper

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Minnie80

Hi everyone,

 

I have a one year old. We co sleep. And she's an incredibly restless sleeper. Tossing, turning, sitting up and crying. Most of the time, it takes me less than a minute to settle her. If she's sitting up, I will lay her down and pat her until she sleeps again. If she dropped her pacifier, I will put it back in her mouth. Sometimes, she likes me to cuddle her. Most of the time, she never really "wakes up." Even when she sits up, her eyes are still closed, but she's crying.

I'm really really getting tired of this. I'm exhausted. Two days ago, she woke up 30 times! I was exhausted., Yesterday, she slept quietly until 4 am, then began the usual routine, of sitting up and crying etc. I'm an insomniac and sleeping is very difficult for me. I've started taking sleeping pills to help me, but it's impossible to sleep for more than an hour, with her constant restlessness.

I'm not sure what makes her whimper and cry through the night. Sometimes, if I feel her nappy is too heavy. So, I will change it quickly, so as not to disturb her. But she's still restless after. I've tried to cover her, thinking maybe she's cold, but it doesn't work. What could it be? What can I do? It's not teething or anything like that. She's always like that. I'm really tired. The last couple of days, I've been walking around like a zombie. Any ideas on what could be disturbing her?

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Minnie80

I just want to add, that the restlessness, only happens at night. She has two naps during the day, with no problems at all. She's quiet and peaceful.

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rowd

Is it possible she is being disturbed by you? Maybe she is ready to move into her own space? I found there came a point with my little boy that he started waking with every little movement and sound I made. Also, I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but I don't think it is safe to take sleeping pills while bed sharing with

a baby/toddler. I am really sorry you are struggling with insomnia, that must be very tough with a little one to care for. I hope some other posters have more specific advice.

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Jenflea

Maybe drop down to one nap a day.

 

It could be night terrors but that normally starts in the first 2 hours after they go to sleep, not at 4 am.

 

DD used to do the sitting up in bed thing, crying, but she wasn't actually awake.

I didn't co sleep though.

 

What happens if you leave her for a minute or 2? Does she settle back down? It might just be similar to sleep walking, where she's in REM sleep, but not awake.

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seayork2002

I didn't go sleep but eventually DS went from a cot to a bed so he had more room to move around, he still does it now at 12

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T2Mum

Could be a medical reason? Perhaps worthwhile getting that checked out?

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Minnie80

Is it possible she is being disturbed by you? Maybe she is ready to move into her own space? I found there came a point with my little boy that he started waking with every little movement and sound I made. Also, I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but I don't think it is safe to take sleeping pills while bed sharing with

a baby/toddler. I am really sorry you are struggling with insomnia, that must be very tough with a little one to care for. I hope some other posters have more specific advice.

 

I think it's dangerous when they are tiny and can't move. Plus, I'm barely sleeping with the pills anyway. I'm always in this sleep/alert state

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Minnie80

Maybe drop down to one nap a day.

 

It could be night terrors but that normally starts in the first 2 hours after they go to sleep, not at 4 am.

 

DD used to do the sitting up in bed thing, crying, but she wasn't actually awake.

I didn't co sleep though.

 

What happens if you leave her for a minute or 2? Does she settle back down? It might just be similar to sleep walking, where she's in REM sleep, but not awake.

 

Yesterday, I didn't intervene and just let her cry for a bit. After 30 seconds, she fell back asleep. But then later she started again.

Edited by Minnie80

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triangle

I think it's dangerous when they are tiny and can't move.

 

Sorry OP but infants of this age are at risk.

 

I co slept with both of my children and am very supportive of it (and still do many nights) but, NEVER if I was taking any kind of medication to aid with sleeping. I am a supporter of co-sleeping but any drugs/medication/alcohol make it a flat NO from me.

 

Mine never slept through anyway, but my suggestions would be trying 1 nap... even on alternate days. Or trying baby in own bed. You can leave lots of dummies in the cot... i used to do this so even if they couldn't find one and it was dark they could reach and feel for one.

Mine were also often restless due to milk protein intolerance ( didn't know with first but I did with 2nd, if I ate dairy and breast fed you could guarantee the early hours of the morning we'd all suffer from it)

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Babetty

I would recommend trying her in her own cot, in her own room - maybe she is just a restless noisy sleeper and she (and you) might both get more sleep with your own space.

 

I found that sometimes, by the time DS's noises penetrated my sleep and I'd made it part way down the hallway he'd already self-settled, so there is no need to rush to her for every noise.

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PrincessPeach

My youngest would sleep like that if i tried to co-sleep with him. In his own space he would sleel like a log.

 

Seriously, some babies detest co-sleeping.

 

I'd set up the cot next to your bed & try that for the night.

 

Other than that, i'd get her tonsils & adnoids checked out. Those being enlarged are a big cause of restless sleep.

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Apageintime

12 - 18 months was a crazy time for sleep here (cosleepers too).

 

What helped was dropping a nap.

 

Also.. easing back on dinner, it must have been upsetting him too close to bed and I think the wriggles were tummy pain, added extra breastfeed to compensate and it seemed to settle down

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Beanette

My son was always moving around, tossing and turning all night, and he was iron deficient. I didn't realise it could affect sleep like that.

He had a blood test which showed very low Ferritin stores, and is on a liquid iron supplement now.

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Minnie80

My youngest would sleep like that if i tried to co-sleep with him. In his own space he would sleel like a log.

 

Seriously, some babies detest co-sleeping.

 

I'd set up the cot next to your bed & try that for the night.

 

Other than that, i'd get her tonsils & adnoids checked out. Those being enlarged are a big cause of restless sleep.

 

The thing is, she often sits up and throws herself at me, and would only fall asleep if I am holding her, or if she is literally on top of me. So, I'm not sure, if I'm really bothering her.

During the first four months of her life, she was sleeping non stop, to the point that we got worried and got blood tests done. But even during that time, she would only sleep on top of me. And I was so worried about falling asleep and suffocating her that I was up all night. At some point I got her a special elevated pillow, with sides that made her feel like she is "hugged" and for a while she slept well. Then she outgrew it and we went back to the restlessness. So, I think the problem is that she wants to be constantly held or something.

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PocketIcikleflakes

The thing is, she often sits up and throws herself at me, and would only fall asleep if I am holding her, or if she is literally on top of me. So, I'm not sure, if I'm really bothering her.

During the first four months of her life, she was sleeping non stop, to the point that we got worried and got blood tests done. But even during that time, she would only sleep on top of me. And I was so worried about falling asleep and suffocating her that I was up all night. At some point I got her a special elevated pillow, with sides that made her feel like she is "hugged" and for a while she slept well. Then she outgrew it and we went back to the restlessness. So, I think the problem is that she wants to be constantly held or something.

 

If she likes to have her head elevated, or draped over you I strongly advise seeing an ENT or local equivalent. It sounds like both my kids when they had ear and adenoid issues.

 

Does your dd sleep with her mouth open or does she snore?

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Minnie80

 

 

If she likes to have her head elevated, or draped over you I strongly advise seeing an ENT or local equivalent. It sounds like both my kids when they had ear and adenoid issues.

 

Does your dd sleep with her mouth open or does she snore?

 

No snoring or mouth open. But I could defnitely take her to an ENT just in case

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Minnie80

Just want to say that the restless sleeping has gotten worse the last three weeks. I'm so exhausted. I've started giving her night feeds again just to get her to sleep again. She's not hungry, but it settles her. I'm so tired :(

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Redchick2

Sorry no solutions but sending you a big big hug.

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Bearynice

Hi Minnie

If I remember correctly you are overseas, am I right?

 

It is really hard to function on minimal sleep. This isn’t medical advice but I would visit the GP and get check up. Often ear problems present like this.

My two kids were like this, ear infections with teething. Grommets saw me get my first night sleep after 2.5 years!

If GP says all looks ok, she might be looking for you in the night.

We used a gro bag to keep the kids warm, have you tried something like that?

And we sprinkled dummies around the bed so if they lost one in the night they would reach out and find the next one themselves.

I’d visit GP and then go from there.

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Charli73
Posted (edited)

I had my little girl co sleep with me as she did this too. I got too tired as I had a toddler to deal with too so I put her in her own cot in the next room and she needed me to hold her hand while she went to sleep and would cry and whimper all through the night and it I felt like she was my Velcro baby.

 

I would see a sleep consultant if you can’t get her to sleep without lying on you or near you as this will lead to years of this onset sleep association where she can’t get to sleep unless you’re holding her. I tried to break the cycle and at 7years old have only now just let her go to sleep without me sitting on her bed I sit in my room next door.

 

Please see a paed who can helps with sleep issues. If you’re saying she is asleep maybe she won’t notice you’re not holding her?

 

Medically mine was gluten and dairy intolerant so she probably had a sore belly so that’s where it all started for us.

 

Best of luck.

Edited by Charli73

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Minnie80

I never check the watch when my daughter wakes me up at night. But yesterday, I decided to have a look. She woke me up at 1:40, 2:40, 3:40 and 4:30. At 5 am, I gave up and got up from the bed. She was basically waking me up once an hour. And I'm an insomniac, so I'm not falling asleep and when I do, she wakes me up. I'm exhausted. And last month was diagnosed with a minor heart issue. It's nothing and will go away by itself, but it causes fatigue, so I need to sleep. I'm sooooo tired :( We haven't been able to do an ENT check because of the pandemic. But we did go to the pediatrician for vaccines and I completely forgot to mention this. We are due back soon, so I will mention it. 

Anyway, there is no update in this post, except to say I am exhausted 

 

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Chamomile

If her first stretch of sleep each night is the best, a few hours, I’d recommend putting her in the cot for that sleep. 
That way you will get a few hours of undisturbed sleep yourself, which might be enough to survive on. 

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