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JJ's mummy

2 yr old - advanced language skills

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JJ's mummy

Hi, this may be a strange post but I didn't know where else to ask without being judged (So please don't judge).

 

I'm a mum of 2 kids - almost 7 years and a 2 1/2 yr old.

 

So the thing is my 2 yr old daughter's daycare teacher has repeatedly told me (I kind of play it down everytime) that she is very advanced for her age. Her language especially so and reflects a social awareness not usually present in her age group(don't ask me what she means by that lol). She is also very empathetic.

 

My daughter speaks complicated sentences and has from an early age, just like her brother. She knows her colours completely, shapes completely, numbers up to 10, can identify the right number before or after a particular number, can recognize some letters but her strengths are with numbers. She dresses herself including shoes and is very independent, refuses help dressing. Can ride pedal bikes and rides the older kids around. Remembers lyrics for songs (not just nursery rhymes).

 

So her educator is always telling me how advanced she is, that she has not seen a toddler this advanced at this age in all her years of being an educator. So I'm starting to feel uneasy - is my daughter gifted? Or can this be age appropriate?

 

My eldest is a very bright but neurodiverse child (adhd) with his own special needs so I guess my stomach drops at the thought of another child that may not be "typical ". I have no one else to run this past.

 

Any advice for me? Thanks in advance.

Edited by JJ's mummy

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Living Type

Sounds a lot like my just turned three year old. I too have an older child with special needs (global delays and physical disability) so I am surprised at all the things my daughter just does, without therapy or guidance to learn. I’ve had comments from daycare that her speech is advanced but nothing about her being gifted. She loves letters and knows all the names and the most common sound they make as well. I am just enjoying her being “easy”, she’s still so little.

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knottygirl

I wouldn’t think that is an indicator of being gifted as such.

 

My oldest talked the earliest, he could have a conversation at about 18 months much earlier than his peers. My next one was talking same level at 2. He could dress himself and navigate a scooter and throw and catch. He preferred adults company to other kids as social he was ahead of them. My youngest was about 2 as well. She was very much the baby, and prob acts more like a baby and pretends she can’t do things that she can.

 

Oldest son - average at school. Has potential to be better if he applied himself. Above average at music and sport. Finished prep on reading level 2.

 

Middle son - top of his class at school. Very conscientious student and always tries really hard. Above average in music. Finished prep on a reading level 15.

 

Youngest - top of her class at school. At home she is quite sooky and demanding and very silly. I still won’t take her to the movies because she won’t stay still and be quiet. At school she is model student. Finished prep on a reading on a reading level 12-14.

 

I’m a scientist. So we talk a lot of science at home. We also like history so I explain a lot of history to the kids. Especially on long car trips we will talk about stuff. The oldest 2 play music instruments. And lots of sport. The younger 2 like reading so they read all the time.

 

My mum was always told that I was gifted. I don’t think I was or am. I had teachers come to the school to do special reports on me ect for uni reports when they were studying gifted children. I think i was bright and school came easier to me. But def not gifted in my opinion. I have a good memory, not photographic but good. And I have good problem solving skills. I found maths easy. But that didn’t translate to finding uni level maths easy.

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Amica

Nothing in your post indicates she is gifted to me. The term gifted is often thrown around and used to label bright high achievers who are not gifted. Most teachers wouldn't recognise a gifted kid if they tripped over one.

 

I have 2 gifted kids. One was hyperlexic; reading and writing skills far beyond his age. He was able to read and write in sentences before 3. His expressive and receptive language was just at the age appropriate average/norm.

 

The next had no special reading or writing skills. He learned these things along side his peers. His expressive language was delayed (apraxia diagnosis) but receptive language phenominal. His problem solving abilities were also phenominal from early infancy. It was clear he was an exceptionally gifted child from very early on, and he was incredibly difficult to parent from the day we brought him home.

 

Number one above is moderately gifted. He was grade 8 last year but accelerated to grade 10 in core subjects. Art, wood work, Japanese and other electives with same age peers. In primary school they had him in the special ed unit a lot and he was excluded from extension groups. Note that it is incredibly common to find giften children fobbed off to units doing social skills classes, anxiety or behaviour management etc. We didn't have him tested til age 9 which was a mistake. Primary school utterly failed him and I have made a submission to the Royal Commission about his treatment (he also has disabilities).

 

My third child who I mentioned second has tested profoundly gifted twice (99.8th percentile) with an SB-5 at age 5 and WISC age 8. The school 'don't do acceleration so he is just bored and disengaged. I am considering pulling out to home school.

 

Gifted kids are often quite asynchronous, unlike 'bright' or developmentally advanced (but not gifted) allrounders. My kids certainly are asynchronous. Giftedness also often pairs with comorbids like anxiety, ASD, ADHD and other neurological conditions.

 

I'd say don't spend too much time thinking about it. When you understand giftedness, you learn that it isn't something you'd wish on a child. Do some reading, learn about these kids unique neurology to understand how they differ from bright kids. Meanwhile, just keep nurturing her interests whilst keeping on eye on comorbids. If around age 5 she is still showing advanced cognitive ability, consider early testing to assist with school acceleration etc. If this is not what you are looking at, then age 7 using a WISC is the best time for testing.

Edited by Amica
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JJ's mummy

Thanks everyone, that's reassuring.

 

In case I didn't word my post clearly enough I am not wanting my daughter to be gifted. I am not one of these parents wanting giftedness in their children, it fills me with dread just at the thought. I already know how awful it is for a child not to fit in with their peers, as this is my son's experience with ADHD. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

It was just that my daughter's educator kept confronting me and led me to ask the question. And when I researched child development she is a little more advanced then what I read, so it made me anxious.

 

I feel reassured and can breathe a little better now. Thanks:) have an awesome day!

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MadMarchMasterchef

My second daughter was similar. Very advanced speech at 1-2 Could read kids novels half way through reception. End of year one now her teachers commented she is very far ahead in reading / maths but also appears to have some pronounced issues with writing we are getting her tested for dyslexia.

 

I don't think gifted but she is very bright.

Edited by PoolsideMasterchef
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a letter to Elise.

She sounds very similar to my oldest at that age. He was already beginning to write, could draw quite well, could read his name, and quite a few words, recite the whole alphabet, could count etc.

 

The main difficulty we face as he got older, was that because he’d taught himself to write so early, he had some very odd patterns with letter formation. So while he was way ahead when he started school, it soon became an issue. His writing was legible, but very slow and didn’t flow. He needed about a year of OT to help him learn to write in a more logical sequence.

 

He had IQ testing at 6, and he is extremely bright. Not quite at gifted level, but in the top 5% of the population. There’s been some social issues, as he’s struggled to relate to his peers. Moving him to a bigger school helped.

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Soontobegran

My youngest and my eldest were the same as your child. The oldest was already a sibling to 2 younger children at 2.5 so she seemed to assume a role that belied her age...she has continued in the same mode.

My youngest is now a delightful Mr Average......his early extremely advanced start ( was talking in 8 word sentences and counting to 10 at age 14 months ) was no indication of the outcome.

 

I would suggest to your child's educator that she just back off reporting to you unless there are behaviours that would indicate she is not coping and to just keep encouraging her zest.

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FuzzyChocolateToes

Early language development is actually one indicator of high IQ.

http://www.davidsongifted.org/search-database/entry/a10162

https://web.archive.org/web/20171106080703/http://www3.bc.sympatico.ca/giftedcanada/ynggift.html

 

I have 3 that are gifted. Two had early language development and vocabularies well ahead of their peers. The other didn't however. A child can be gifted but have weaknesses, or be gifted + ADHD,ASD or dyslexia for example.

 

For now, just continue to give her things to do that she finds fun and stimulating. She might like kid's shows with a number focus like Peg + Cat or Numberjacks (You tube). In a few years you can think about how she compares to her peers and if you and her educators think she is advanced you can think about testing.

 

Giftedness is not something to dread though!

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Caribou

I just had my 8yo tested for giftedness and get the report soon. all indications she's gifted.

 

my 2.5 year old is on the same track as her for gifted as well. However they're polar opposites in how their giftedness comes through. one is shy and terribly distracted and often spaces out, the other is outspoken driven and stubborn.

 

In the few psych sessions I had in lead up to 8yo's assessment, 2.5yo was with me and the psych would constantly remark on how bright the youngest was. His language, reasoning and indicates it's high end. He understood and even went as far to form his own explanation than to copy what people said word-for-word.

 

So yes it's a possibly your youngest is gifted. I understand this comes with it's own challenges. Not only do you have a older child with specialise needs, but you have a younger where you need to ensure they're stimulated enough to keep them busy and growing and interested.

 

It is so hard. While it's great for the children, the amount of work on the parent is a challenge. I've been in tears in how to cope with it as my husband is a gifted person (he's been assessed) and I am by no means not. As you can see, 2 confirmed gifted people, one likely to be so and... me. All three cannot hack the idea of chilling and reading. they all have to be moving, learning and just constantly on the go. me? I like a good book and quiet. lol

 

I don't have any advice really. Just wanted to relate. I'm still navigating how on earth this all is going to work, but we make it work because we have to.

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eachschoolholidays

My 8 yr old son has been diagnosed as gifted using WISC assessment with a psychologist. He didn’t talk early. In fact, he was probably late. We were starting to get a little worried about him. He took off later. He is also not particularly independent. He’s very tactile and has poor executive functioning - takes forever to get dressed because he gets distracted by other things.

My daughter was very verbal at a very early age. She did very well in kindergarten. She is now a middle of the road student.

I wouldn’t worry about advanced progress at age 2. I don’t think it can be diagnosed until about 7 and even then I haven’t found a diagnosis has done a lot. It helps explain a few things about his behaviour and enables him to attend a few extension days but that’s about it. (It, and a few other tests, did allow us to rule out ADHD though. It turned out he was just bored so wasn’t paying attention. When given more challenging work, he focuses very well...)

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Kreme

My mum drove me bananas when DD was 2ish by constantly talking about how advanced my language skills were at that age and how advanced my niece was. In comparison my DD had an expressive language delay and really was quite incomprehensible to everyone until she was 4. Mum was absolutely determined that early speech was a sign of intelligence and therefore my DD was decidedly average.

 

DD was also late to walk compared to many of her peers, has always been physically quite cautious and took a while to be ready to toilet train (though once she started she nailed it in a week).

 

if you compared her to her preschool counterparts when she was 3-5 you would have said that most of them were ahead of her, particularly in language but also in social confidence because it’s hard to make friends when you can’t talk to them.

 

She is now 13 and not only does she have a beautiful clear speaking voice, she is also tested gifted in the 99th %. She is confident, makes friends easily and pursues lots of sporting and musical interests.

 

So, while being advanced at an early age can be an indicator of future ability, it’s not a guarantee.

 

I think a lot of parents would love to hear their kid is advanced, but it does come with expectations. And I know some sad cases of kids who were way ahead in the early years and built a lot of their identity around being “the smart kid”. Then they drifted back to the pack somewhat during late primary and high school and haven’t been able to emotionally recover from that.

 

That’s not to say you shouldn’t nurture and encourage your child. But just be wary of the language you use and the way you praise them. Effort is more praiseworthy than being “naturally” good at something and finding it easy. So look for the things that she needs to work on and encourage her to build on those skills.

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Ivy Ivy

She is at the least bright. Someone has to be at the top with IQ/abilities.

 

My now 9 year old daughter could have done most of what you've written when she was 2, and now she's about 20th in a year 4 cohort of 100, in her subjects as per the school report.

 

Is the daycare staff member suggesting something specific be implemented, for instance? Why not ask the daycare what they're suggesting you do, if anything?

 

If you can, not sure where you live, is there a very academic school you can put her into kindergarten at age 4 or 5? Any selective schools near you? Bright kids do well around other bright kids.

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JJ's mummy

I don't know how to reply individually sorry, but thanks Fuzzy Chocolate Toes, I'm going to check those shows out for her.

 

She is sharing some traits with her ADHD brother so we may be facing that, which is fine because I know what I'm up against there lol. My son has very high reading and writing skills but has trouble with maths. Although we suspect it's more of a group learning issue rather than understanding issue.

 

I like the idea of asking the educator to kindly back off. Because that is probably my biggest source of anxiety. She is just 2 lol.

 

Thanks everyone. Glad I shared, I don't feel so isolated anymore. I don't have friends who can relate to special needs and ho I can ask about my daughter's developmental skills. Thanks so much xxx

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JJ's mummy

If you can, not sure where you live, is there a very academic school you can put her into kindergarten at age 4 or 5? Any selective schools near you? Bright kids do well around other bright kids.

 

Ivy Ivy, we are in the catchment of a high performing state school, who have been awesome with my son. I will have to think of what else. Thanks xxxx

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JJ's mummy

Eachschoolholidays this sounds exactly like my son who was diagnosed with ADHD. Our GP disagrees with the 2 pediatrician diagnosis and feels like he is bright and bored. I would love to know how ADHD was ruled out for your son.

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newmumandexcited

I have fraternal twins. At two, both were doing this. One not so good with numbers but amazing in other ways. Both repeatedly mentioned as accelerated etc. They have an older brother so they naturally copy off him.

 

At three they are much more on par - so I guess what I’m saying is, sometimes things just even out and giftedness is better established later, as is ADHD. What sort of advice do you mean?

Edited by newmumandexcited
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JJ's mummy

Eachschoolholidays this sounds exactly like my son who was diagnosed with ADHD. Our GP disagrees with the 2 pediatrician diagnosis and feels like he is bright and bored. I would love to know how ADHD was ruled out for your son.

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Daffy2016

OP, she sounds similar to my DD, who is a few months younger but has most of the same traits. I don’t think she’s gifted but possibly bright.

 

It might help to ask the carer to make sure she doesn’t treat your DD differently, either. I was told my whole childhood I was smart and it really didn’t help me - like lots of ‘smart’ kids, I expected things to be easy and didn’t know how to deal if they weren’t.

 

I’m really trying to emphasise learning and trying with my DD. If she turns out to be bright then so be it - it won’t help her if she can’t apply it!

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newmumandexcited

I have fraternal twins. At two, both were doing this. One not so good with numbers but amazing in other ways. Both repeatedly mentioned as accelerated etc. They have an older brother so they naturally copy off him.

 

At three they are probably much more on par though still speak astonishingly well - so I guess what I’m saying is, sometimes things just even out and giftedness is better established later, as is ADHD. What sort of advice do you mean?

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Lallalla

My daughter was not dissimilar to yours at same age. Socially precocious, ahead with her language, better motor skills than you might expect. She’s nearly 4 and still ahead in various ways but the other kids have already caught up somewhat. I don’t think it means a lot to be honest, much like walking at 10 months vs. 18 months.

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Dianalynch

Actually advanced language / number sense are signs of gifted ness...I’m surprised at the pps saying they’re not.

 

I have 2 gifted kids, assessed. They are very different though. Dd sounds like your kid at 2, and she has areas of giftedness in language and maths. Figured out how to play guitar on he own, that sort of things. She works a couple of years ahead at school (further in some areas) and was grade accelerated more for a better social fit. As long as she’s challenged, and has her hobbies and sport, she’s pretty happy. Moderately gifted.

 

ds is profoundly gifted and just so asynchronous. Very difficult to parent, always on the go. Suspected adhd but it isn’t, it’s just part of his giftedness. Was reading books at age 4, can manipulate any situation to his own advantage, and his maths is off the chart. He does not learn maths procedures, he figures it all out. Creates his own algorithms. Like how to solve double, triple digit multiplication at age 4/5. He just ‘gets’ probability. Things like that. We are having to do a lot to support this, as he was distressed by the maths program at school, even though they had him learning 2 years ahead it was nowhere near enough. In some areas of maths he’s working 5 years ahead - on his own.

 

so I would say keep an eye on it, make sure she’s being appropriately challenged or she may become disengaged / emotionally distressed, and I wouldn’t tell the educators to hold back, in fact I would encourage them to work with her and challenge her. That’s what my boy’s childcare and 4yo kinder did, and he loved it. I can’t imagine how distressed he would be if he was under stimulated in a care setting.

 

eta I agree with PPs be careful how you talk about it / praise her. Praise for effort, having a go and persistence. Not for being ‘clever’ or ‘bright.’ And while early language / number sense can be signs of giftedness, so are a lot of other things, and many gifted kids are delayed in these areas, so she may or may not be, just keep scaffolding her interests and see what happens.

Edited by Dianalynch
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seayork2002

Actually advanced language / number sense are signs of gifted ness...I’m surprised at the pps saying they’re not.

 

I have 2 gifted kids, assessed. They are very different though. Dd sounds like your kid at 2, and she has areas of giftedness in language and maths. Figured out how to play guitar on he own, that sort of things. She works a couple of years ahead at school (further in some areas) and was grade accelerated more for a better social fit. As long as she’s challenged, and has her hobbies and sport, she’s pretty happy. Moderately gifted.

 

ds is profoundly gifted and just so asynchronous. Very difficult to parent, always on the go. Suspected adhd but it isn’t, it’s just part of his giftedness. Was reading books at age 4, can manipulate any situation to his own advantage, and his maths is off the chart. He does not learn maths procedures, he figures it all out. Creates his own algorithms. Like how to solve double, triple digit multiplication at age 4/5. He just ‘gets’ probability. Things like that. We are having to do a lot to support this, as he was distressed by the maths program at school, even though they had him learning 2 years ahead it was nowhere near enough. In some areas of maths he’s working 5 years ahead - on his own.

 

so I would say keep an eye on it, make sure she’s being appropriately challenged or she may become disengaged / emotionally distressed, and I wouldn’t tell the educators to hold back, in fact I would encourage them to work with her and challenge her. That’s what my boy’s childcare and 4yo kinder did, and he loved it. I can’t imagine how distressed he would be if he was under stimulated in a care setting.

 

My son had very good language skills when he was about 2ish sure it may be a sign of giftedness but my son who is now 12 must have missed that memo.

 

If there is a group of 20ish is children and there is one child that stands out as having more advanced skills and this is picked up by the child carer this could mean the child is advanced or it could also mean the other kids are not as advanced so OP you could ask what there inetnition is by telling you all time?

 

what I mean is ask outright 'do you think an IQ test/giftedness etc. is needed?' (these are examples I am saying there is a 'giftedness' test as such)

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Prancer is coming

Is the child care educator teacher trained? If she has experience with teaching children and is knowledgable around child development, then I would assume what she says may have merit. I would ask her if she was commenting to make you aware or if she wanted to do something about it. Is your child bored in the room? Acting out? Not fitting in socially?

 

You can’t really test a 2yo and even if you could, it is not like you are going to start them at school early. Just give your child a wide range of opportunities and see if it is raised about when they start school.

 

i have a kid with a wide IQ spread, over 70 percentile points between the highest and lowest score, which overall gives me a score in the superior range. He is gifted verbally, but thanks to ADHD his working memory is pretty low and processing speed average. Throw in a learning disability and he was actually failing subjects at school before he was tested. My experience is educators will only pick something up if it is obvious or stereotypical. They have noticed something with your child so I think keep it at the back of your mind, but let them know you have heard them but unless there is something they want you to do, they don’t need to keep telling you.

 

i would also have a think if your older child’s ADHD was masking his abilities.

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Smoo

She might be gifted those are gifted traits, but gifted needs the right environment to thrive so keep giving her stimulation of what she's interested in at this stage. I do recommend testing later if it's a possibility (and you can afford it) as it gives you a guide of what your daughter needs and what you should request from your school when she starts.

 

I suggest getting in touch with your local gifted association, there is one for each state except queensland. The group in Sydney sporadically does preschool aged get togethers and you don't need to be tested to attend. The information you can get from more experienced parents in the group can be invaluable.

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