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IamtheMumma

Delayed FYOS, any regrets?

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just roses

It wasn’t Little Bean, and I have no judgement of yours or anyone else’s decision.

 

But it is often a line that gets rolled out and it I think sometimes people do have perceptions of what Prep involves that may not be accurate. Clearly that doesn’t apply to you, having sent an older child to school already.

 

That’s why I suggested finding out what the situation is at the school in question. I know of some schools in town where Prep is very much about sitting at desks for long periods. But as I said, we were lucky at ours that it had tightly held onto its play based focus (and probably partly because it had spent a lot of money custom building rooms for that purpose (with kitchen, art areas, play spaces etc) before the Australian curriculum came in.

Edited by just roses
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Expelliarmus

Agreed.

I was responding to the blanket statement that its inappropriate.

I stand by it. The way schooling is currently set up, a child significantly older than the target cohort is not being given the approximate curriculum for their developmental stage and our age based policies put the child at a disadvantage.

 

‘Allowing’ it does not mean it is actually being catered for. Currently it isn’t a catered for difference.

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José

 

I stand by it. The way schooling is currently set up, a child significantly older than the target cohort is not being given the approximate curriculum for their developmental stage and our age based policies put the child at a disadvantage.

 

‘Allowing’ it does not mean it is actually being catered for. Currently it isn’t a catered for difference.

 

However, the children in this situation would have developmental delays so the curriculum would be more appropriate to their developemental stage.

I don't think it automatically puts the child at a disadvantage. Its appropriate for a small percentage of students.

 

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CrankyM

 

 

However, the children in this situation would have developmental delays so the curriculum would be more appropriate to their developemental stage.

I don't think it automatically puts the child at a disadvantage. Its appropriate for a small percentage of students.

 

And sometimes another year doing kindy does sweet nothing. Just doing another year to mature but not doing anything different is rarely helpful. The same issues can still be there. All our specialists states school should be started on time with appropriate interventions put in place at the same time. If another year in kindy and school entry is delayed there should be targeted intervention during this year. If my child did another year of kindy there would have been little change. The issues would still be there. Because his development is asynchronous. He’s wouldn’t have become more socially understanding just because he was a year older. And if you are at a school where the majority of kids start on time I can tell you know, being that bit older will make you stand out. Most QLD schools have a set age of school. It is not like NSW and VIC where there is a wider age range.

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CrankyM

Double post.

Edited by MayaTheGrinch

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Kreme

I don’t think you’ll find many people whose kids have turned 7 in FYOS.

 

My DD started at 5.5 and could have started a year earlier as one of the youngest ones. While I don’t regret it as such, now I realise that she could have easily started a year before and I can see benefits to that. We had to change schools to make sure she was challenged academically and that may not have been necessary if she was a year younger.

 

Fortunately DD’s increased maturity has manifested in her being very calm and sensible. But I have certainly seen some of the older kids turn into bullies and some who’ve lost interest in school by the time they got to year 12.

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Ivy Ivy

I sort of regret it but I'm not sure. Both my kids are born in March. NSW.

 

I sent my girl to FYOS in Jan aged 4, about to turn 5 in 2 months. Glad I did, she is very tall. But she is the youngest in her year, and by 1 year in some cases, and it shows emotionally.

 

I sent my son aged 5 about to turn 6. He was definitely intellectually ready for school the year prior, and really looking back was probably lacking in cognitive stimulation just doing 3 days/week at a community preschool.

I recall pushing him on swings at the park around mid-year during the last year of preschool, and he and the similarly-aged boy next to him counted to 80 or something all of their own initiative, one count for each push, and I turned and said to the mum "wow, these boys really should be in school".

 

But if he'd been sent aged 4, he would be the youngest in his class by a lot - e.g. one of his FYOS friends just turned 7 at the end of the FYOS year. And for boys, physical size matters, so being younger and smaller may be a disadvantage during the 13 years of school; I don't know how much weight to give that but suspect women (mums) underestimate its importance.

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Little Bean

Just roses thank you, and sorry if I sounded a bit snippy. It's one of those things where everyone in my personal life has had an opinion and now I'm automatically defensive.

 

The Prep classrooms at our school are what used to be Year 1, and set up very much like your typical classroom. I do think DS would be OK if he went this year, but I think it will be better for him if he goes next year.

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Veritas Vinum Arte

Opppsite here. We were going to delay, I pushed for it. When my son started prep he didn't know letters, numbers, colours, animal sounds and more. He was significantly delayed and attended ECDP. The advice we got from the ECDP director, a PhD qualified education professional (apposed to kindy teachers) was that holding him back would be holding him back. I was advised the evidence and best practice does not support delayed entry, and further there is no social or academic requirement to starting prep apart from age, and to ignore all the 'prep ready' nonsense.

 

I reluctantly started him on time. He is grade 6 this year and I thank my lucky stars I didn't listen to kindy teachers and daycare staff. What a disservice I would have done him holding him back a year. Having him go through all his schooling as still the awkward delayed kid, but for it to be magnified by him being the tallest and oldest would have been awful.

 

We were told by the preschool and and the preschool field officer assessor to hold back DS2. We sent him to school against their advice.

 

He just finished grade 6 and it was hard enough with his voice breaking and really should have started shaving mid year grade 6. If we had held him back he would have been mid grade 5 with deep man voice etc.

 

Hard enough to navigate with him being grade 6, but I shudder to think if we had been grade 5.

 

 

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Expelliarmus

However, the children in this situation would have developmental delays so the curriculum would be more appropriate to their developemental stage.

I don't think it automatically puts the child at a disadvantage. Its appropriate for a small percentage of students.

I still do not agree that developmental delays mean the best course of action is to place a child in a situation where they are physiologically more mature than the majority of their cohort.

 

Education covers a multitude of facets and rarely is a child delayed across the board in all topics. Continuing to delay the development of a child by holding them back is detrimental to all concerned and we need to move forward with greater understanding and adaptation to allow children to remain with their developmental peers.

 

I have seen too many students who have a maturity in one or more areas being disadvantaged because instead of being addressed and supported, their delays in a couple of areas have placed them in an inappropriate cohort.

 

Resources may also be age inappropriate because currently they are rarely targeted to individuals but assume that everyone learning a concept is a particular age.

 

Delays should be addressed with adaptations and adjustments. Not with further delays.

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Expelliarmus

We were told by the preschool and and the preschool field officer assessor to hold back DS2. We sent him to school against their advice.

 

He just finished grade 6 and it was hard enough with his voice breaking and really should have started shaving mid year grade 6. If we had held him back he would have been mid grade 5 with deep man voice etc.

 

Hard enough to navigate with him being grade 6, but I shudder to think if we had been grade 5.

This is one of the issues I mean. Current schooling relies on students physiological development as much as anything else.

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Veritas Vinum Arte

DS2 voice breaking mid grade 6 was only mildly surprising to me as his brother 2 years prior in grade 6 had his voice break in first Term grade 6.

 

I thought DS2 had stronger DH genes (later puberty), but he appears to have inherited my early puberty genes too which was surprising. DS1 I had at an Endocrinologist but was told not precious, just super early normal distribution of puberty.

 

This year will be go time for DD as she starts grade 5.

 

I hate all this early puberty stuff..... DS1 hadn’t covered any puberty stuff at school when his voice broke. Luckily I had had books etc from a younger age.

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Dianalynch

Ds started at 4 turning 5, no regrets. He is very asynchronous and a year’s delay wasn’t going to change that. He has just finished prep, and the things he struggles with (being a bit different) he will struggle with for years to come. The school has done a wonderful job of supporting his differences, we have a great teacher for the year coming up, and she is already drafting his learning plan.

 

His kinder teachers, the school principal, and a couple of teachers who knew him all said to send him at 4, He was more than ready for school, he just has some differences that mean he doesn’t fit in easily. A year on that hasn’t changed.

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Charli73

We started DS at 5 turning 6 in March.... in hindsight he was terribly bored in Kinder and then prep but we were going through an ASD diagnosis so for us prep would have been a disaster and socially he wasn’t ready either..

 

He might have been fine starting at 4 but he wouldn’t have coped with the social aspects and he had another 5 of his friends (mother’s group) with him so he was more comfortable being with them..

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MissBehaving

In Qld the age to start is turned 5 by June 30, there is only early start for kids turning 5 in July and only with the approval of the school. Kids must be at school by 6 years 6 months but I don't know how common turning or already 6 in FYOS is (my oldest starts this year, having turned 5 in September).

 

For me, it would depend on how the school is setup. My kids school is definitely play-based and so I wouldn't hesitate to send either kid at 5/turning 5 but if it was an individual desks and times tables on the wall kind of school I might.

 

I agree with PPs who say that you know your kid better than the kindy educators, what do you think?

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Etta

DS is quite small, started at 4 turning 5, and hasn't looked back (now 12 going on 15). When he started he was small and shy but even if he had started a year later he would still have been shy and small. Small children will still be smaller than most who are a year younger, same with tall kids.

 

Despite a shy start he has blossomed. He is doing well socially and academically. He is still small but is playing sport an age group up. I would never take size into account as it varies by more than one year.

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Fossy

Maybe talk to your intended school OP, they might be able to help guide you and assess your son to see his readiness for school. A wider range of opinions might help guide your decision making.

 

It is becoming more common to delay starting school, although a birthday in the first half of the year would see a child potentially 2 years older than their peers. In my daughters FYOS last year 6/21 children turned 7 in FYOS, the eldest turning 7 in August. Obviously there are a myriad of reasons for delaying school, but a chat to your school with help guide you. DD had 2 friends in her class who turned 7 end of November and early December, both were delayed as their parents did not want them to be the youngest in the year.

I have a son with a late November birthday and I never even considered holding him back so he started at 5, but it is becoming more and more common.

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Not Escapin Xmas

DD was 4 when she started school, April birthday. She's the second youngest kid in her year.

 

Funnily enough, in August we weren't going to send her, but by October it was clear that she was so, so ready.

 

So my contribution to the conversation is to say that January (ie a year before) isn't the time to be thinking about it. It's a 3rd/4th term discussion. (Unless of course you're tossing up sending your kid in 3 weeks time, in which case, sounds like best not to!)

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just roses

Is that in Queensland, Fossy?

 

I don’t think it is common here. In fact, you’d really stand out as a 7yo in FYOS. What’s a little more common is for kids like my DD (June bday) to start at 5 turning 6 in June. But even that doesn’t seem too common to me. Most of my kids’ peers have been sent ‘on time’ with just a few delayed starts in the cohort.

 

ETA: someone has to be the youngest, after all! In DD’s case, she’s likely to be it or very close to it.

Edited by just roses
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Paddlepop

I second everything that Expelli and Maya have said. Special needs like ASD are not a reason to automatically delay starting school.

 

I'm in Qld where it's very very unusual to delay starting school. Most children are sent on time where they turn 5yo by the end of June in Prep (FYOS). This means that some start at 4yo turning 5yo by the end of June. The others are 5yo and turn 6yo from July onwards.

 

My DD has ASD (and ADHD but not diagnosed until later) and her kindy teacher recommended that DD do an extra year of kindy and delay starting Prep. I asked whether she thought that DD should do more than 5 days per fortnight of kindy, like perhaps 5 days per week, in order to get extra learning and preparation in prior to FYOS. Nope, just 5/fortnight and nothing new or extra. DD is small and would have easily passed physically as a year younger. That seemed pretty bloody useless to me.

 

DD's developmental paediatrician did not support delaying school. He very strongly encouraged starting school on time. His opinion was that it was better to get children with special needs into the routine and structure of school and receiving proper support at school. I also got opinions of people like some of our excellent teacher EBers who all encouraged me to start DD on time.

 

DD started school on time with no extra kindy. She turned 5yo within a week of starting school. She blossomed at school and hugely benefited from the structured learning and support provided by the school.

 

She's about to start Yr 5 now. She's behind her peers academically but quite frankly she always will be, and would be even if she'd started a year later or even two, three, four years later. She did Yr 1 maths last year and failed. She did Yr 3 English and failed. She'll be doing Yr 2 Maths and Yr 4 English this year. However she's in the right year level developmentally and physically. Socially she'll never fit in with the majority of people. There's usually one or two children in her class who befriend her and then she hangs out with her real friends at lunchtime.

 

There's a child at DD's school who started Prep at the same time as her and then repeated Prep due to some disabilities. His mum now regrets having him repeat and wishes that she'd kept him in his correct year level. It's now obvious to her that he'll always struggle due to his disabilities.

 

As for children being tired out by doing 5 days per week of Prep, yes term 1 will be rough in terms of tiredness. The children will adjust. Get them to bed nice and early, and don't pile on extra curricular activities. Don't be surprised if they fall asleep on the drive home from school. At DD's school they didn't schedule anything particularly academic for after lunch. They usually did some sort of craft or creative activity so that the tired children could kind of chill out and not do much. Children who were super tired were allowed to grab a cushion and have a nap at the back of the classroom.

 

School can be great. Don't be so scared about it.

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MadMarchMasterchef

It wasn’t Little Bean, and I have no judgement of yours or anyone else’s decision.

 

But it is often a line that gets rolled out and it I think sometimes people do have perceptions of what Prep involves that may not be accurate. Clearly that doesn’t apply to you, having sent an older child to school already.

 

That’s why I suggested finding out what the situation is at the school in question. I know of some schools in town where Prep is very much about sitting at desks for long periods. But as I said, we were lucky at ours that it had tightly held onto its play based focus (and probably partly because it had spent a lot of money custom building rooms for that purpose (with kitchen, art areas, play spaces etc) before the Australian curriculum came in.

 

That's a really good suggestion. I gather from reading on here it varies between states as and public v. private as well. FYOS is very play based here (SA public ) although theres lots of learning to read and write in there too. Ive heard that the private school kids get a lot more homework.

 

Little Bean I loved your description of your DS being a cat! That's adorable.

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Kreme

 

But if he'd been sent aged 4, he would be the youngest in his class by a lot - e.g. one of his FYOS friends just turned 7 at the end of the FYOS year. And for boys, physical size matters, so being younger and smaller may be a disadvantage during the 13 years of school; I don't know how much weight to give that but suspect women (mums) underestimate its importance.

 

My DS just finished year 6. The age range in his class was from turning 12 in January to turning 11 in November (grade skipped child),

 

DS was one of the youngest, and also one of the tallest. The shortest was one of the oldest. One of the youngest boys had his growth spurt early and overtook everyone and suddenly became much faster and stronger in sports than everyone else.

 

DS plays u/12 cricket where the age range is 12 months exactly. He plays against everyone from kids who look like grown men to tiny little boys who scarcely reach his shoulder.

 

None of this could be predicted, it’s just a fact that some kids are tall and others short. And everyone develops at different ages and rates.

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lazycritter

My youngest started prep at age six and turned 7 that same year in Nov. He started 4 yrold kinder at 5.

 

He had major speech delays and toileting delays apart from his ASD. I had to fill out a form for the State Education board to say why I was delaying his schooling. There was no problem with that at all.

 

My eldest with ASD also I nearly delayed but didn't. He didn't have the same challenges as my youngest. However he copes much better socially. While my youngest child copes much better academically. I believe my youngest has the capability to academically jump ahead a year but the social and emotional struggle is holding him back.

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lazycritter

Oh to answer your question, I don't regret it given that we had no choice considering his special needs at the time. He wasn't ready for school at all.

 

I knew he was going to start towering over his class mates which was going to happen considering family genes. So is a little more obvious the older he gets. However my eldest towers over his mates at school and he's one of the youngest in his Class so no point letting it be a concern.

 

Eta we're in Victoria

Edited by lazycritter

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coolbreeze

No regrets.

Sent my ds to school at 6 years 1 month.

December Baby.

He is a small kid and a little shy so that extra year really helped.

He did do a four year old ELC program at the same school the year prior. It was nearly full time hours.

9-3 pm with Friday afternoons off.

It is the type of school that encourages kids to start later rather than earlier.

He was almost the oldest in prep, but a large cohort of kids who's birthdays (turning 6) were in January through to late April of the prep year. So not so unusual.

We are in Victoria

CB

Edited by coolbreeze

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