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Jaffa donuts

Do you keep $ value of christmas gifts for your kids the same?

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Jaffa donuts

I guess this is a bit of a spin off. I was reading another thread about Christmas gifts and noticed comments about spending the same amount on each child.

 

Do people really do this? Do your kids know how much their gifts cost?

 

My kids wouldn't have a clue how much I spend on them and it has never been a consideration. They have 3 years between them, are a girl and a boy and they are extremely different in their interests and tastes. Up until recently (they are now 12 and 15) I tried to make sure they had roughly the same number of gifts but the cost of those gifts was irrelevant.

 

I bought them what they wanted / I wanted them to have and sometimes that means I spent a heap more on one than the other. But I wasn't going to not give one kid the thing they wanted just because the other kid didn't want something of the same value, neither would I buy extra things nobody wanted just to bump up the value to meet that of the other's gifts.

 

Is it really a thing to do this?

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Navy Blue

Nope I don't.

 

12 years between oldest and youngest. Younger ones get lots more presents but none of them cost a lot. Older boys only get a couple of things but a lot more expensive gifts.

 

They (mostly) get what they want/need at the time.

 

I wouldn't for example spend $1000 on a 3yo just because their brother is getting a new laptop.

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Riotproof

No, but they have a big gap. Ds is getting a lot more $ this Christmas. DD is getting what I think is equal value to her.

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OceanTwentyFour

Not $$$ but I make sure they all have the same number of presents. That will change as they get older though.

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~Jolly_F~

Could your post be any more judgemental?!

 

I do. My kids are older, they know the value of things but even when they were little I have always tried to spend similar amounts. They get why they want and if one thing is considerably more, we get the others a few other things to even it out.

 

You don’t do it, fine but I really don’t think its so strange that it needs to be judged.

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Holly298

We don’t and my family never did but DH parents did and to this day his sisters still make sure they get the same value present from their parents for themselves and their kids - I think it’s because that’s how the parents were with them growing up, everything had to be even so it was fair!

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Meepy

Roughly, yes. I have a tight budget and can't buy huge amounts. Same with birthdays, roughly same value. Sometimes they join presents to get something more expensive e.g. a switch. When I did the laptop and phone prior to high school, no. The younger one knows she's getting that when she starts high school so it will even out.

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Ellie bean

Our 2 are 12 months apart and yep we keep it roughly equal- not to the dollar but just broadly speaking. DS likes more expensive tastes so he does tend to get less things. He understands that quite well- he knows that from when I take them to spend pocket money they have saved, that brand name lego will be more expensive than a generic soft toy DD might choose, etc.

I find it odd that you make sure they have the same number of gifts but each to their own!

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jojonbeanie

Nope. I have no idea how much I spend.

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Ellie bean

Sometimes they join presents to get something more expensive e.g. a switch. When I did the laptop and phone prior to high school, no. The younger one knows she's getting that when she starts high school so it will even out.

Yep we have done joint present for things like trampoline. When DD gets a phone some years off I will talk to ds about how he will have his turn when he’s older, we won’t make the $$ even at that point.

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got my tinsel on

I only have one child so it is not an issue.

 

But before DD came along, I tried to spend an equal amount on each of my nieces and nephews. Wasn't exact, but approximate amounts.

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Apple14

Not to the dollar but similar. We have quite a few kids within a few years of each other. We try to keep things fairly even $ wise and number wise, but won’t buy ‘stuff’ just to make it match.

Kids need to learn that life’s not always fair, and they should be grateful for what they get, not compare their stuff to their siblings.

So I’m kinda halfway on this..

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Crombek

I try to keep it similar with the older 2 who tend to have similar interests anyway, so xmas presents in particular are often large shared ones (eg trampoline) or double ups (like the HP wands they are getting).

 

So far I can get away with spending a lot less for the toddler. I’m sure this will change.

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Jaffa donuts

Sorry J_F, wasn't judging, it was a genuine question and I see it works the opposite way in your family, which is exactly what I wanted to know. I was just wondering how the different dynamics work with different kids, as I didn't think the $ way would fly in my house.

 

I see others also think that focussing on having the same number of gifts is odd - again exactly what I was asking, so thanks.

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gracie1978

I'm going to try to, I appreciate that our parents tried hard to be fair growing up.

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Riotproof

Could your post be any more judgemental?!

 

I do. My kids are older, they know the value of things but even when they were little I have always tried to spend similar amounts. They get why they want and if one thing is considerably more, we get the others a few other things to even it out.

 

You don’t do it, fine but I really don’t think its so strange that it needs to be judged.

 

My mum used to tally up her accumulation at christmas and realise one child was under represented. So, she would either redistribute and often buy more stuff.

 

It's why I keep lists, so my brain is on track with who is getting what. And I only have two kids.

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-Emissary-

No but it won’t be until next year before I have two kids to worry about.

 

I can’t imagine we will do this given there’s going to be a 12 year gap between them. Personally, this time of the year will be extremely painful for me in the future with trying to find suitable presents for Christmas AND their birthdays, let alone try and make sure things are of equal value.

Edited by -Emissary-
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rosie28

Roughly but I won’t die in a ditch over it. The older 2 are 5 and 3, so it’s more the impact or specialness of the presents that I try to keep even.

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JustBeige

Yep. I do. Dont really worry too much about number of gifts being even, but the $$ spend, yes.

 

I have to. I have always been on a strict budget, so need to track our spend.

 

Plus I dont think its fair to spend $50 on one kid and $200 on the other.

Plus as they get older they do understand how much things cost - well you want them to so they understand value for money and relevant costs of living etc

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MGB

I do.

 

They’re all fairly young still and probably don’t understand the value of things but I do and want to be fair.

 

 

 

 

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José

I'm going to try to, I appreciate that our parents tried hard to be fair growing up.

 

 

it seems like there are different ways to be fair though?

eg some people saying its the $$ that makes it fair, others are saying its the same number of gifts that make it fair, others would say giving the same gifts eg everyone gets a bike, is how to keep it fair.

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onetrick

Mum used to make sure things 'looked'like they were worth the same for us,even if they werent (ie. She got them on sale). She did the same for my younger cousins when they were kids. Now she just spends the same on each.

 

Depends on the childs developmental age, too, surely? A 3yo generally doesnt understand value, but understands numbers enough to know more (so number of presents/ size of present pile is important), whereas a 10yo understands money a little more and might realise that small presents can be worth a lot more so roughly the same cost is more important.

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kimasa

Parent of an only child here but I know my mum never did.

 

There were years where I wanted the more expensive thing, there were years when my brother did. She said it probably all worked out the same in the end.

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lozoodle

Absolutely I do, though the only exception is the year they get an ipad for their birthday when they need it for BYOD in year 3.

 

Everything else I keep pretty much even. I like to budget, I like to stick to a budget, and I like to keep it relatively fair and even in terms of amount / number of gifts. As they get older this may change but for present purposes this works.

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~LemonMyrtle~

Yes, we keep it as even as possible, not to the cent, but within reason. My kids don’t know the value, but I do. My parents always kept even, so I do the same for my kids.

 

When DH was growing up his younger brother, a squeaky wheel, always got more expensive gifts than him. Every year. Cause otherwise his brother would cry and tantrum if he didn’t get what he wanted. To this day it upsets DH a little. So we won’t do that to our kids.

 

This year is tricky cause DS2 needs a new bike, so now we need an expensive but meaningful gift for DS1 as well.

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