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Ozquoll

Awkward - party invitation

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Ozquoll

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Milly Molly Mandy

Does your DS think he’s been invited?

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Ruf~Feral~es

Ask the teacher? They often know much of the goings on re parties - especially whole-class invites?

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Heather11

Yes ask both your child and teacher. Does your child remember receiving the invite? I know at primary school they often have personal trays under their desk so it could have been put in there.

 

It may not be a whole class party. The other parent may be misinformed so i wouldn't approach the party host personally.

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Bono25

Could it have gotten lost, fallen out of his bag?

Teacher is probably the best person to talk to, but I guess it depends on age. I had the same thing happen last year

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Hands Up

I’d leave it. You are going on the hearsay of another parent, not the host. Quite possibly it’s not an all class party?

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YodaTheWrinkledOne

Ask your son if he's received any birthday party invitations lately that you need to be aware of.

 

If he says yes, ask him to get the invitation and does he want to go?

 

If he says no and says nothing else, drop it.

 

If he says no, but he knows X is having a party and he hasn't been invited, then you can have a quick discussion about how not everyone is always invited to parties for a variety of reasons, etc etc.

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YodaTheWrinkledOne

I would not ask the teacher. I never told the teachers about any birthday parties that we were holding for our kids.

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José

I would not ask the teacher. I never told the teachers about any birthday parties that we were holding for our kids.

 

I think it depends on the age.

In kindergarten the teachers seem to know everything so i might ask them. My DS is in year 1 and we did a whole class party this year. He handed out invitations at school and talked to his teacher about it because he was excited, so the teacher would have known. I didn't say anything about it.

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EmmDasher

This happened earlier in the year to us. The other parent was misinformed and it wasn’t a whole of class party at all. I would just let it be if they’re not particular friends.

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~Jolly_F~

I wouldn’t do anything unless it’s mentioned to me by the parent of the kid or my kid brings it up.

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Kiwi Bicycle

Our FYOS teachers asked the parents to hand any invites directly to her to hand out. They are then discretely stapled into our communication diary without the child knowing. Saves losing and being left out embarrassment.

Did you get similar instructions? I would ask the teacher.

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Luci

When my kids were in preschool / first year of school the teachers would help distribute invitations if the whole class was invited so you probably could ask the teacher if they have seen any stray invites floating around, And and mentioned by PP ask your DS if he remembers anything about it. Other than that I personally would leave it.

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amdirel

I would leave it. It could possibly get a whole lot more awkward if you pursue it.

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Ozquoll

To answer:

 

DS is FYOS, so it's a 6yo b-day party.

 

DS didn't know about the party and doesn't remember getting an invite.

 

Yes, quite likely the other parent was misinformed about it being an all class party. Unfortunately she asked me about it in front of about five other FYOS parents, hence the "Awkward" in my post's title.

 

I have no intention of talking to X's parents about whether DS was invited.

 

Teacher doesn't get involved in parties beyond suggesting invites are by text/email, or if on paper, placed straight into invitees backpacks.

Edited by Ozquoll
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IamtheMumma

I'd ask the teacher. I used to approach the teacher and ask how they wanted the invitations given out. Some are happy for in class and others prefer putting them in lockers.

 

If you felt confident, you could ask the mum.

 

Posted at the same time. Leave it then.

Edited by IamtheMumma

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JomoMum

I wouldn’t say anything.

 

How do you think the other parent knows it’s an all class party? The only way she would know is from her own child .. hardly reliable.

 

My DS gets that stuff mixed up all the time. He once told me he was the only boy invited in his class to a girls party. Swore black and blue. He was not ..

 

Why are you wanting to follow up? What awkwardness are you worried about by following/not following up?

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José

To answer:

 

 

 

Teacher doesn't get involved in parties beyond suggesting invites are by text/email, or if on paper, placed straight into invitees backpacks.

 

Oh, its like that!

I get that teachers have lots to do .

I don't have phone and email for most parents.

And invited straight into backpacks is just asking for them to get lost.

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Ozquoll

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MadMarchMasterchef

Why are you wanting to follow up? What awkwardness are you worried about by following/not following up?

 

I would assume she wouldn't want her son left out if every other kid was going. That would be devastating to a 6yo.

 

Awkward if it wasn't a whole class party and her DS wasn't invited.

 

ETA - kids do say things to other kids that are wrong. Both my DDs this year were told they were invited to a kids party by said kid but the invite never actually eventuated.

Edited by WannabeMasterchef
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seayork2002

I found an invite in ds's pencil case (luckily in time) he never mentioned it.

 

No I would not ask the teacher as I do not think they are there for that and i am sure are busy enough

 

I would move on

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literally nobody

Id just leave it and move on.

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Heather11
And invited straight into backpacks is just asking for them to get lost.

 

This happened to DS in preschool.

A mum approached me and asked whether my DS was attending her child's party. I told her I wasn't aware of it. She said the invite was in his bag. I checked the front pocked which I never used and sure enough there was an invite. I apologised and luckily we were able to make it.

 

I'm actually not sure I'm comfortable with parents touching other children's bags either. I sure children are told not to touch other people's property. If the invite is handed to the child who then puts it directly in their bag that is different.

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Ozquoll

This happened to DS in preschool.

A mum approached me and asked whether my DS was attending her child's party. I told her I wasn't aware of it. She said the invite was in his bag. I checked the front pocked which I never used and sure enough there was an invite. I apologised and luckily we were able to make it.

Exactly the same happened to us earlier this year. The bday boy in that case was very keen for DS to attend his party, and DS had a great time.

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YodaTheWrinkledOne

Oh, its like that!

I get that teachers have lots to do .

I don't have phone and email for most parents.

And invited straight into backpacks is just asking for them to get lost.

well, lost in a backpack. Not that lost, really. I suppose it depends on how often said backpack is cleared out at home.

 

I never put anything directly into other children's backpacks. When our kids were younger (K-Yr2) and we have had invitations to distribute, I would go to school with DD and she would hand invitation directly to other child or put it in their bag (she would know their bags) after we had got permission from teacher if that was okay (if child wasn't around bags). We've only done 5-8 other kids at our parties, nowhere near a full class,

 

It's never occurred to me that a teacher should help distribute party invitations,

 

But yes, we have had a few instances where child has forgotten about party invitation. We've missed one party due to missed invitation (DD1 has never done that again!)

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