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CoffeeGuy

Navigating Child Care Subsidy

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PatG

Remember not all single parents of very young children work. Many use parenting payment especially in the early years and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

 

Although some work, especially if it could be a decent number of hours on each work day, might be just what the parent needs for their own mental health. Plus, coffee guy might find regular contact with people who are experienced with young children (childcare staff/family day care) invaluable as I get the impression he may not have much family support or friends with babies.

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TrixieBelden

 

Remember not all single parents of very young children work. Many use parenting payment especially in the early years and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

 

I’m not sure that would be the best thing here though, it works better I think for people who have a solid full time work history behind them and/or who are studying for a new role.

 

I think for the OP it is important at this stage to get a full time job and the experience and references that go with that if at all possible.

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IamtheMumma

Goodstart centres have 9, 10 & 12 hour sessions. Community centres also have a tendancy to offer other sessions.

 

I think you should have someone go over it everything with you as Centrelink is complex to navigate. CCS maxs out at 100hrs per fortnight. Based on your 45hrs, you'd be entitled to 72hrs per fortnight of subsided care.

 

https://guides.dss.gov.au/family-assistance-guide/3/5/2/10

 

You can apply for parenting payment single when you get the baby full time. At the moment, the wait for processing is months. I got mine approved in 3 months only because I went into an office and begged. I've got an application for a non urgent payment that hasn't even been processed and its been over 4 months. If you have any significant savings (in Australia or overseas) they'll want to know about it. It is a very invasive process.

 

You'll need to get your child's birth certificate. Also create a My Gov account so you can access Centrelink, Child Support Agency and Medicare.

 

Your ex will be liable for child support.

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lizzzard

I totally agree with TB that working would be preferable for the OP. Financial issues aside working provides structure, social support and time away from non stop supervision. Given the OP’s context those benefits would be important I think.

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CoffeeGuy

I'll see what hours I can get organized with family day care, maybe they have a fitting schedule.

 

Good to know commute is included in work time, that gets me over the threshold for 100 hour child care subsidy.

 

I must work, for money and mental health. Both will be worse if I do not work.

 

Current priorities are:

  1. Organize Childcare, availability, hours, family/centre child care, inspections
  2. Buy car
  3. Enroll in Childcare
  4. Get son
  5. Change from Newstart to Parenting Payment and confirm Childcare details with Centrelink
  6. Say good bye to the mother for good

Should have this done within two weeks so I'll be busy.

  1. Get more/better work hours
  2. Further education to improve job prospects

I'll have better luck looking for new full time job than negotiating more hours with current employer given that I am there during busy hours instead of full time to save money. I don't think there is a need to have me around more hours in the day.

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Navy Blue

Wait, why do you have 'say good bye to the mother for good'??

 

Are you going to deny her access in the future? That is not in your son's best interests.

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Prancer is coming

My child care centre offered half day sessions. Would only work if you were working 7:30-12:30 or 1-6pm though. A lot of people have strong preferences between child care in a centre versus family day care. You need a care arrangement you feel comfortable with, and this may not be the cheapest one.

 

A lot of work places have policies for new parents around flexible working arrangements. Might not apply to you, but could be worth checking out.

 

Childcare is expensive. Quite often being a parent does not fit nicely in with your job, and tough decisions need to be made.

 

 

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born.a.girl

Yeah, you can't just tell the mother than because she's chosing this path now, that that's it forever with contact with her son.

 

She does sound as though she needs help: this is the same person insisting you get an airconditioner because she was so concerned about heat rash from your one weekend, for which you had no experience and no support.

 

Now she's apparently happy to had the child to you and say her goodbyes.

 

 

I can see a time in the not too distant future where, after you've made extensive arrangements, she returns and decides she does want to be the primary carer, after all, after she's had a chance for her mind to settle.

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Freddie'sMum

Coffee Guy - you need to go and talk to someone IRL to deal with all of this. If baby has had mum as full time carer since he was born, it is going to be a huge adjustment for baby and you (and mum).

 

It's not just about child care for your son, it's time to work out how you are going to be the primary carer for your son from here on. I think you need to understand that the baby's mum may change her mind and come back, we don't know her state of mind.

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IamtheMumma

Do your sums but I think you'd be better off saving your energy. You can't do half of what you want until you have the boy in your care. So far, you've had him once in 6 months?

 

I think its more likely that she is struggling and needs help rather than she wants to give up her baby. Encourage her to go to her local child health clinic and talk to someone there. It would be very cost effective for you to do this. Child health is free, she gets the help she needs and then you wouldn't have to pay for childcare or shift your life around to accommodate the additional expenses.

 

You forgot to add find a new rental to your list. Your housemates might tolerate a once every other weekend visit but not 24/7.

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CoffeeGuy

Mother currently does not want her son.

 

While she says she will go away and not come back she can change her mind at any time and take the child from me. I have no legal right as a father. I understand this.

 

Still I'd rather raise my son as I want to have children. If she takes him I'll just have to try having children with someone else.

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born.a.girl

Mother currently does not want her son.

 

While she says she will go away and not come back she can change her mind at any time and take the child from me. I have no legal right as a father. I understand this.

 

Still I'd rather raise my son as I want to have children. If she takes him I'll just have to try having children with someone else.

 

 

Of course you have rights as a father - just as many as the mother. The major rights belong with the child, though. What a court would take into account is what's in the best interest of the child, which is having two parents involved in their lives.

 

If, for example, she came back a week later, she'd have a strong case for wanting to be the primary carer again, although I think any authorities would want to see support put in place to help her cope. (Best interest of the child.)

 

If, though, she comes back in a year, and you've got everything working smoothly, it would be a different matter altogether. (Best interests of the child.)

 

There has to be an awful lot of 'bad' stuff happening before a court will deny access to a parent.

 

Don't ever accept you won't be able to have a relationship with your son, whether that's as the primary parent or not, or later, shared care.

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onetrick

I agree with iamthemumma- I think you will need to find a new rental. Or if you arent going to do that then you will probably need to budget for rent going up as there are two of you (and babies need a lot of water if that is included in rent- so much washing!!).

In previous sharehouses I have been able to break lease if they found someone to replace me, so you might want to ask around and if theres someone who wants your room you could start looking for your own place.

And in the meantime, if you can increase your work hours per day that would make sense too- do you do 4.5 hours as they dont need to send you for a lunch break? Even so, it would be better financially for you to work 6 hour days (with a half hour break?) 4x a week than 5x 4.5 hours. You will work half an hour less over the week, but save a day of childcare.

But as pps have said- no point applying for childcare if you dont have your DS yet.

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~Jolly_F~

Mother currently does not want her son.

 

While she says she will go away and not come back she can change her mind at any time and take the child from me. I have no legal right as a father. I understand this.

 

Still I'd rather raise my son as I want to have children. If she takes him I'll just have to try having children with someone else.

 

****ing hell...

 

Your kid is an actual person with thoughts and feelings, you can’t just replace him with another - it doesn’t work like that.

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MadMarchMasterchef

Remember not all single parents of very young children work. Many use parenting payment especially in the early years and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

 

Definitely its not, but neither is it a bad thing if single parents do work.

 

OP actually sounds like he has a good amount of hours to hit a good balance with work and parenting as long as he can source suitable childcare.

 

Im on a couple of other forums where young people are getting very depressed about being out of work for long periods of time so I wouldn't be giving up a job too easily if I didn't have much work history beind me. This is highly qualified young people too, sadly. Im in Adelaide so it might be worse here than interstate.

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amaza

I have been on EB a very long time and I've never hoped the mods have exercised their duty of care more when it comes to this poster.

 

There is a child involved here. A mother seemingly giving up care without looking back although she has clearly been the sole carer (with the exception of 1 night) since birth. A father who treats that mother as a nuisance incubator who he hopes never comes back and the child in a profit/loss sense that can be replaced if incubator does happen to come back.

 

CPS may not be involved and they may not want to be but surely someone is asking questions about this situation and I desperately hope the mods here are a part of that question asking.

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IamtheMumma

I have been on EB a very long time and I've never hoped the mods have exercised their duty of care more when it comes to this poster.

 

There is a child involved here. A mother seemingly giving up care without looking back although she has clearly been the sole carer (with the exception of 1 night) since birth. A father who treats that mother as a nuisance incubator who he hopes never comes back and the child in a profit/loss sense that can be replaced if incubator does happen to come back.

 

CPS may not be involved and they may not want to be but surely someone is asking questions about this situation and I desperately hope the mods here are a part of that question asking.

 

If I had a woman at work say she wanted to give up care of her baby, it would be a massive red flag for post natal depression and/or suicide. I'd be admitting her (with her permission) and getting all sorts of people involved with her care. I'd really like to reach out to help her. From the OP's posts, it sounds like she is alone with no support.

Edited by IamtheMumma
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Freddie'sMum

Both you and the Mum need to contact Family Services (or whatever it is called) and ask for real life help. NOW.

 

Your son is not a puppy that can be replaced. He is here now, he exists and he needs either mum and / or dad to step up to the plate and look after him - full time - with all that entails - and most importantly - with help. Practical help.

 

It sounds like the mum has reached the end of her tether - she desperately needs help too. So do you.

 

Your posts come across as someone who has been asked to look after someone else's PET - and it's an inconvenience to you. This is your son - your flesh and blood - you need to stop thinking about how you can spin this so you don't get financially inconvenienced - this is freaking parenthood. You don't get to cherry pick the parts that you like - for the love of all that is holy in this world - GET REAL LIFE HELP NOW - for the sake of your baby.

 

FMD.

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#notallcats

Men give up children ALL THE TIME. No-one claims they need help. Some women do too. I know it goes against everything we're sold about mothers, but it happens. The OP doesn't want to get rid of the mother, she is choosing to leave. I don't think he's in a position to demand she seeks help. If she's following up the child's health appts, she would have been screened.

 

I think it's obvious the OP cares about his son. Not in the disney sort of way but it's still care. He's practical. More parents could do with that. At least he's thinking of what he needs, reaching out for help.

 

I wish posters who can only pass judgement that he's doing parenting all wrong, would just bugger off. Offer pratical advice or just close the thread and say nothing.

Edited by #notallcats
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~Jolly_F~

Men give up children ALL THE TIME. No-one claims they need help. Some women do too. I know it goes against everything we're sold about mothers, but it happens. The OP doesn't want to get rid of the mother, she is choosing to leave. I don't think he's in a position to demand she seeks help. If she's following up the child's health appts, she would have been screened.

 

I think it's obvious the OP cares about his son. Not in the disney sort of way but it's still care. He's practical. More parents could do with that. At least he's thinking of what he needs, reaching out for help.

 

I wish posters who can only cast judgement that he's doing parenting all wrong, would just bugger off. Offer pratical advice or just close the thread and say nothing.

 

Do you ever muster up any anger about anything?

 

Your posts often make me wonder if you have read the same thread as everyone else because you don’t seem to see why people are commenting as they do.

 

Geez if a mother came in here and said if the father takes the kid, I will just have a kid with someone else, she would be told that is not ok quite harshly. Same as if she tried to maximise the profit from money she received to care for her kid.

 

I mean you see someone who care. I do not. I see red flags and a kid who is stuck in the middle of parents who don’t really want him.

 

At the end of the day this is a forum, people are not obligated to offer only helpful practical advice.

Edited by ~J_F~
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#notallcats

He's asking the same questions as anyone else about childcare, just in a different way. He's not trying to get a profit, that's only the way you see it. He's tryiing to maximise his benefits to cover the costs.

 

I'm not the one swearing at him, so I don't feel I'm angry about it. Frustrated yes. I see someone who might not fit the norm, but who is trying very hard. It would be very easy for him to walk away, men do it all the time.

 

Perhaps he is not aware of his rights as a father. It seems not by his comments.

 

ETA If the OP didn't care about his son, he could just walk away. Love is important but I see a lot of parents with a lot of love and not much common sense with finance or practical life. Ideally children would have both. But to suggest the OP should give his child up, or there is something wrong with him (as has been suggested here and in other threads), is just not ok.

Edited by #notallcats
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~Jolly_F~

He's asking the same questions as anyone else about childcare, just in a different way. He's not trying to get a profit, that's only the way you see it. He's tryiing to maximise his benefits to cover the costs.

 

I'm not the one swearing at him, so I don't feel I'm angry about it. Frustrated yes. I see someone who might not fit the norm, but who is trying very hard. It would be very easy for him to walk away, men do it all the time.

 

Perhaps he is not aware of his rights as a father. It seems not by his comments.

 

ETA If the OP didn't care about his son, he could just walk away. Love is important but I see a lot of parents with a lot of love and not much common sense with finance or practical life. Ideally children would have both. But to suggest the OP should give his child up, or there is something wrong with him (as has been suggested here and in other threads), is just not ok.

 

You yourself suggested something is wrong with him?! You cant have it both ways.

 

Also the profit thing is not just how I see it but ok. I could say the same about how you reading his posts. I feel like you are purposely glazing over certain comments of the OPs that really arent ok.

 

I didnt swear at him but I swore, I own that. Quite frankly every thing he posts is about money, its never about what is best for the kid, its all about money and how to make sure he can get away with spending the least he possibly.

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IamtheMumma

Men give up children ALL THE TIME. No-one claims they need help. Some women do too. I know it goes against everything we're sold about mothers, but it happens. The OP doesn't want to get rid of the mother, she is choosing to leave. I don't think he's in a position to demand she seeks help. If she's following up the child's health appts, she would have been screened.

 

I think it's obvious the OP cares about his son. Not in the disney sort of way but it's still care. He's practical. More parents could do with that. At least he's thinking of what he needs, reaching out for help.

 

I wish posters who can only pass judgement that he's doing parenting all wrong, would just bugger off. Offer pratical advice or just close the thread and say nothing.

 

It is always a concern (aka massive red flag) when the primary carer of a baby talks about giving the baby up. As she hasn't, this is a signal that it is a cry for help instead of a plan of action. She had the opportunity to leave when the baby was with the OP. Her subsequent concern post visit around the baby's health would indicate she is invested in the baby. This is an encouraging sign.

 

As the baby's father and former partner, he is the person closest to encourage the mother to talk to someone, provided its done in a caring and kind way. Telling a new mum that she needs help because she isn't coping will only make her feel worse. It is a delicate conversation and requires finesse.

 

Feel free to follow your own advice - close the thread and say nothing.

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CoffeeGuy

Some people are injecting unnecessary pessimistic imagination into this thread about childcare and child care subsidy.

 

Some how organizing childcare so I pay $96.25 or less instead of $235.585 per week for childcare (a saving of $7245.42 per year) is seen as some devious scheme.

 

Some are always looking for something to latch onto and get mad about. No need for this.

 

I have some child care visits lined up this week, I'll see what happens.

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