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kirtyw

Help! I"m in a blind panic

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kirtyw

Yesterday I bought a house at auction. It needs renovations. We currently (hubby, 2 kids and I) have a mortgage under 100K (but selling this for the new place) Repayments for the new loan will be $1800 a fortnight. We can afford the repayments. BUT... OMG What were we thinking??? This will give us the chance to have a house with the space we wanted and a yard (we currently have neither)... but are we sacrificing lifestyle and a stress free life for 'stuff'. I keep telling my self we can just try it for a few years and if it is too hard sell up and down size the mortgage but I just can't stop panicking.

 

Tell me it will be okay!

Edited by kirtyw

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JomoMum

Was this a planned purchase?

 

No one can tell you whether it’s going to be ok, being that we are totally unaware of your entire financial situation and lifestyle goals.

 

It sounds very stressful and I can understand the panic.

 

Buying and selling is expensive as a process alone.

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kirtyw

It was planned. With a mortgage broker. We have bought the little weatherboard on the full block next door to our house (a bit bigger on a subdivided block). My parents are buying my house. It will be great to live so close as they get older as there is just me since my sister passed away 2 years ago.

 

Unfortunately, we went to the end of our budget. I think we thought developers would blow us out of the water. They didn't :( or :)

 

We are youngish (40) and committed to this area.

 

Just panicking.

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born.a.girl

I get it. I'm like that with major purchases, from a big airfare, car, upwards to a house.

 

 

I get serious cold feet. It will be o.k. If you know you can manage financially, then as you say, look at it as a five year plan.

 

 

A backyard for kids is not 'stuff', it's their childhood.

 

 

Does it help you to say 'what's the worst thing that can happen?'. Is it that you'll find it all too much, so sell up and downsize a bit? Is that the worst? No one dies?

 

Hope that's helpful - it works for me, but my daughter hates me saying it.

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kirtyw

I guess the worse is we sell up and loose money. Then potentially ask my parents to move again or.... we move again.

 

 

It just is hard.

 

We were so close to mortgage free. Kids are 9 and 12

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Ivy Ivy

My and friends' experiences of mortgages is, at first they're utterly daunting, and then with time often become just one of the background expenses you factor into regular lifestyle spending. (As long as you haven't overcommitted.)

 

Having said that, I recall in the 1st year of my first mortgage, during which I took mat leave and our combined income drastically reduced, whilst driving I heard an interview discussing the definition of mortgage stress being, it took over 30% of household income to pay the mortgage. I did a quick calculation, and worked out we were paying over 90% of my husband's income to the mortgage. "Ha! I laugh at 30%. I'll tell you about mortgage stress", I thought (a tad dramatically.) (We could only survive that 90% because it was short-term.)

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VVV

I tend to go with my gut and panicking would have me thinking it’s the wrong decision for me. You can’t cool off from auction purchase can you?

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born.a.girl

I guess the worse is we sell up and loose money. Then potentially ask my parents to move again or.... we move again.

 

 

It just is hard.

 

We were so close to mortgage free. Kids are 9 and 12

 

 

No, it's fantastic. You've got the opportunity to get a house with a garden. You'll be mortgage free by the time you retire, that should be your objective. I'm 66, have been without a mortgage now only since I retired at 62.

 

Your kids will have a backyard.

 

What's hard, is never having your own home, or much less a backyard, increasingly uncommon.

 

Put yourself in a couple of today's news stories: houses burn down in bushfires (two dead), houses washed away in mudslide in Japan, plenty dead, many missing.

 

(Not to sound patronising, but I sometimes have to give myself a talking to. Your panic has caused you to lose perspective.)

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red_squirrel

I think it actually sounds really good.

 

A bigger garden and parents next door sounds like a win. Moving will also be easy and you know the neighbourhood. So no surprises.

 

The auction process is very stressful. It sounds like you are having an adrenaline rush. Fight or flight stress response.

 

Congratulations!

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born.a.girl

I think it actually sounds really good.

 

A bigger garden and parents next door sounds like a win. Moving will also be easy and you know the neighbourhood. So no surprises.

 

The auction process is very stressful. It sounds like you are having an adrenaline rush. Fight or flight stress response.

 

Congratulations!

 

 

Yeah, I think you use up all of your fight in the battle, then come down from the high and it all seems awful.

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tenar

Parents next door, larger block and a house you can renovate as you please sounds like a huge win.

 

If you can afford the mortgage repayments now that's fine: each year they will be a little less compared to your income. Wait to renovate until you can afford it, and yay for giving your kids space to play!

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iwanttosleepin

I am so like this. I panic every time I have to make a big purchase. then my DH tells me to get my s together and I calm down and life goes on.

 

I'm about to do it again too. I have 2 smaller mortgages at the moment - both fully offset (but we only pay the minimum as such) and about to buy a very big house (fingers crossed). I will lose some sleep, panic, almost get cold feet and then do it and life will go.

 

And the new house we are desperately coveting is next door to my parents....my kids are 5, 10 and 14.

Edited by iwanttosleepin
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kirtyw

I am so like this. I panic every time I have to make a big purchase. then my DH tells me to get my s together and I calm down and life goes on.

 

I'm about to do it again too. I have 2 smaller mortgages at the moment - both fully offset (but we only pay the minimum as such) and about to buy a very big house (fingers crossed). I will lose some sleep, panic, almost get cold feet and then do it and life will go.

 

And the new house we are desperately coveting is next door to my parents....my kids are 5, 10 and 14.

 

Oh my best wishes!

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Etta

I do the same after a big purchase. I feel sick and really lose interest in what I have bought for a few days because I just don't want to think about the enormity of it.

 

I am sure you will get over this in a couple of days and feel more comfortable about your purchase.

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gracie1978

So normal to have buyers regret, have done it on every house and generally I cry on move in day.

 

One of our movers actually gave me a talking to and said our house was primo and I needed to appreciate it and get my act together...

 

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kirtyw

Thank you everyone.

 

It's just so stressful. But.. it is just money (and I am very lucky to be able to say that).. it's not our health... though i feel like i'm having a breakdown..

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born.a.girl

Thank you everyone.

 

It's just so stressful. But.. it is just money (and I am very lucky to be able to say that).. it's not our health... though i feel like i'm having a breakdown..

 

 

It absolutely IS stressful. Does it help knowing that how you're feeling is absolutely normal?

 

 

It would be a bit weird if we could made these MASSIVE life decisions, and the follow day be 'ho hum, what's for dinner?'.

 

 

We have adrenaline for a reason, it's giving you a good kicking at the moment. It helps us get to the finish line then disappears.

 

ETA: not sure my swear word would be appreciated by all.

Edited by born.a.girl
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maryanneK

all I can say is well done for getting the house, no doubt it will go up over time and the mortgage will decrease relative to income...

we're in the same boat - planning to bid on a house at auction next weekend and I feel sick at the thought - technically we can afford it but it just seems stupid amount of money.....what keeps me going is the thought of the house I bid on ten years ago but chickened out of pushing to my limit - and have regretted it every single day since it would literally have made me a millionaire by now.

 

I think its pretty normal to freak out but I'm usre you;ll be fine! To be mortgage free at your age and stage would be pretty amazing so dont feel bad about that

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born.a.girl

all I can say is well done for getting the house, no doubt it will go up over time and the mortgage will decrease relative to income...

we're in the same boat - planning to bid on a house at auction next weekend and I feel sick at the thought - technically we can afford it but it just seems stupid amount of money.....what keeps me going is the thought of the house I bid on ten years ago but chickened out of pushing to my limit - and have regretted it every single day since it would literally have made me a millionaire by now.

 

I think its pretty normal to freak out but I'm usre you;ll be fine! To be mortgage free at your age and stage would be pretty amazing so dont feel bad about that

 

 

I actually don't know soul who was mortgage free at 40, and I'm much older and have comfortably off friends and family. Took all of us until much later than that to be mortgage free. Of course I could have been if I'd stayed in the flat, but then I'd not have had a backyard for my daughter ... and round and round we go.

 

Good luck with your auction. Keep us posted. It's absolutely nerve wracking.

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Etcetera

We sold our house and moved 2000km away to an area where we knew no one and bought a house we saw once after I fell in love with it.

 

I barely slept in the 6 weeks until settlement. I was so sure it was the dumbest thing we had ever done, even though it was what we had dreamed of for years. I would wake, panicking about some not very likely catastrophe, and make myself absolutely sick with worry.

 

We've been here just shy of a year and I look around and can't believe how lucky I am to be here. It was a difficult move but is paying off.

 

We just spent a fortune buying a new car and caravan and I feel almost the same way but keep reminding myself of all the positives.

 

And if it doesn't work out, or is too overwhelming, then we can sell. Sure we may lose a bit of money but we'll have learned a heck of a lot in the process.

If you don't give it a go, you'll never know!

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Prancer is coming

It sounds like this was planned. Not only do you get a bigger house, but are close to family too. Congratulations on the new house!

 

I felt sick after purchasing our house too. It seemed like so much money and the idea of a 30 year commitment terrified me, even though we were ready to buy a house. I think part of it too was there was so much to do - banks, lawyers, power, internet, inspections. And in your case sounds like you need to sell a house and work out what you need to do with the house before you move in. As you said, if it goes pair shaped you can always sell. And if your parents are next door, you can move in with them until you find something more budget friendly!

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pitzinoodles

Totally normal to feel like this!

 

You planned before you bid, so you know theoretically you can cope financially.

 

I find it helps (while I wait for the panic to wane) to focus on the options I have to get out of it if it doesn’t work out, and to remind myself that i’ve done the research and in theory we will be ok - helps gives me back a sense of control.

 

From what you’ve written here it sounds like it will be a real positive for you, and you’d probably be feeling miserable (not relieved) if you had missed out.

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VVV

all I can say is well done for getting the house, no doubt it will go up over time and the mortgage will decrease relative to income...

we're in the same boat - planning to bid on a house at auction next weekend and I feel sick at the thought - technically we can afford it but it just seems stupid amount of money.....what keeps me going is the thought of the house I bid on ten years ago but chickened out of pushing to my limit - and have regretted it every single day since it would literally have made me a millionaire by now.

 

I think its pretty normal to freak out but I'm usre you;ll be fine! To be mortgage free at your age and stage would be pretty amazing so dont feel bad about that

 

Honestly not trying to be a downer, just realistic - the property market is a lot different now to the huge gains that we saw over the last 10-15 years. There’s no guarantee that a purchase now will go up in price significantly.

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SeaPrincess

Totally normal! We had a big increase in our mortgage to get our current house, but once we were in, I loved it more and more. We’re approaching the end of 6 years, and it was 100% worth it to be in this location. We probably haven’t gained much in value, but we absolutely haven’t gone down.

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a letter to Elise.

Totally normal!

 

But you thought it through, planned, worked out a budget... it’s not like you went and did something crazy. It sounds like a good decision, and your kids and parents will all benefit.

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