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Parent teacher interviews - do your kids go with you?

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YodaTheWrinkledOne

Do you actively take your kids with you or actively not take them with you or are you not bothered whether they are with you or not? Why or why not?

we have 3-way interviews, children are expected to attend with parents. That said, the teacher often has some time with the parents without the student there. This year the interviews were 20 minute blocks - much better as there was enough time and appointments (mostly) ran to schedule.

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PrincessPeach

Ours were between teacher & parent, if the kids were there they just had to amuse themselves elsewhere.

 

 

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Ayr

Never ever took primary kids to theirs. Did take high school kids in the later years. Only because I saw others doing it and one of my kids was big on denying anything I was told. So I took him so he could listen and respond. We then left and he still denied everything that was said.

 

But generally no, I don't usually take them and I never take them to parent information nights where it specifically says not to. Plenty do it anyway and the whole event is interrupted by the kids left in the playground being noisy and wandering in and out of the classroom.

Edited by Ayr

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Liz Lemon

Ours are three way and I don't like it.

 

Lots of things I want to ask about and not do it in front of her. And she gets all shy in that dynamic and contributes absolutely nothing so it's pointless.

 

My niece's school do one three way conference early in the year and a parent/teacher only later in the year. I like this approach.

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Blue Shoe

We had a 3 way conference with DD attending. Poor thing was so shy and uncomfortable and it all felt like a bit of a waste of time. I felt like it would have been better if we’d been able to have a straightforward discussion about things without it having to take into consideration how DD would interpret everything we were saying.

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~Jolly_F~

All the three way references :rofl:

 

Anyway our school does them too but I don’t take the kids, as I don’t agree with it!

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Riotproof

I think it may depend on the teacher.

 

I’d only bring ds if it was an after school time, tbh.

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*Spikey*

DD's were run at the same time has her dance class, so I dropped her then toddled over to the school and did the interviews solo. But I would normally include her, it is, after all about her! Oh, I did ask her if there were any messages she wanted to pass on to her teachers, or issues she wanted me to raise, she mentioned a couple of things and I discussed those with the teacher while I was there.

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HamsterPower

We didn’t take them in primary school as it would have greatly reduced the usefulness for us.

In high school we do usually take them along and it works really well now they are older. For us, we found high school was when they seemed mature and perhaps resilient enough to be properly involved and gain something from the process.

 

It may depend on the kids and teachers involved I guess?

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Squeekums The Elf

All the three way references roll2.gif

 

Anyway our school does them too but I don’t take the kids, as I don’t agree with it!

 

So glad it wasn't just me giggling like a school girl lol

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nom_de_plume

Ours are parent/teacher/student in 10 min slots. I think they’re a total waste of time. I can’t have a conversation with DP about anything at home without being interrupted, let alone with the teacher about their education. The new(ish) report format really tells you nothing about how they’re going either.

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onetrick

As a teacher, I much prefer it when students come along as well. Some students seem to genuinely not understand how amazing they are, so it's always nice to praise a student in front of their parents. I can tell them in class, write it in a report, but theres something so lovely about being able to say positive things about a kid that genuinely deserves it (I dont have to use eduspeak in an interview like I do in the report, either!).

On the complete other end of the spectrum, it's nice to have students there so that any feedback for improvement doesn't turn into 'he said, she said' type things (especially how much class time we had to complete work before it became homework and what was told to the class type things...).

I do feel that email between myself and parents is private and theres no student involved, but this is for all three of us to discuss things together.

Just my very limited experience for high school only :)

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onetrick

And I just saw where this was posted. Sorry! I wont remove my post in case in helps some high school parents understand, but apologies to the OP for not reading properly...

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BornToLove

Thankfully our school only does parent and teacher meetings. I wouldn’t mind if DD was included, but I’d want more than 10 minutes as I think it adds another later to the conversation and therefore requires at least 15-20 minutes.

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Dianalynch

I really like the teacher/student/parent discussions, I don't like talking about DD without her there.

 

It's good for her to learn to be comfortable and confident with receiving direct feedback, asking questions and involved in establishing her own learning goals.

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Prancer is coming

I don’t take my kids. I don’t have a lot of baby sitting options, but do organise for the kids to be looked after so DH and I can go.

 

With the first parent teacher I had no idea what to expect and was not sure how my kid was going at school. I did not need the added layer or either myself and the teacher trying to tactfully say things. And I don’t want to get caught up looking at work. With some teachers it can be hard not to get them caught up in showing work, and I think this could be worse with my child involved (I usually look through my kid’s books every few weeks and want to use the time to ask questions or talk to the teacher).

 

One time with youngest had to come. I just set him up with a puzzle in the classroom and managed to ask what I needed. Now he has a huge thing with not liking people to talk about him, so would be painful having him there.

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WaitForMe

The student is expected at ours.

 

I actually wondered if its to help keep the parents in check.

 

I'm pretty sure DD feels ultra self conscious by it, both times so far she has wandered off and entertained herself with something in the room.

 

I also hate it because I have to choose my words ultra carefully so I don't accidentally hurt her feelings, which then fails to adequately convey my concerns.

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bluesilk

No. Mine was in the morning before school started and the teacher asked him to wait outside. Unless they've specified to bring the child, I'd assume they want to speak to you confidentially.

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niban

We moved to NZ and a lot of the school do "Student Led Conferences" here. Basically 30-45 min where the child leads the parents through what they've done - usually 3-4 kids and their parents are in the room, the teacher is there but doesn't actively participate. I was dubious, very dubious (esp for youngest who was only yr 2 when we moved). I'm a total convert though now - it gave us such a good idea of what they've been doing. As an example, the last one our DS had done a 30-40 page slideshow, slides on each subject and what they've been doing. They have a folder prepared with work examples, test results etc. They'd created a quiz on an online app on one of the topics they'd been covering and DH and I 'competed' against each other. in class the kids work on it in the weeks before the SLC (which is good in itself) and learn presentation skills etc too and *love* being the one showing their parents. I think we get a far better picture than traditional parent-teacher conferences (if there are particular issues we can email and meet with the teacher) but the SLC gives the kids a real sense of ownership - and pride - in their learning.

TLDR: was dubious, now think having kids involved is a great idea

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Overtherainbow

Depends on the age and what the teacher has asked for.

 

A three way interview includes the child, and is about the child showing what they’re proud of and setting goals. As children are there, you do need to be more careful looking at academic levels.

 

A parent teacher interview allows more openness. You can ask better questions, because your little one is not there to be offended.

 

In high school, students need to know their levels, and also if their behaviour is holding them back. An open and honest meeting includes them.

 

If you’re asking for a meeting, it is best to let the teacher know what it is regarding, so they can have the information required available for you. Eg. I’d like to meet to discuss my child’s social relationships, or Maths progress, or possible special needs, etc

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Hypnic Jerk

Am i the only one who has an issue with them being called 3 ways?

 

At DS’s school they were called student-led conferences. When DD came home from a different school and told me about the three-way I just about spat out the food I was eating.

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Riotproof

Why? Maybe they should call them triangle meetings..

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