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cabbage88

Some input in to a decision about whether to study

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Ollie83

I’d give it a go, a newborn will be ok but another year and a toddler, noooo.

 

Have you considered a short term au pair so not to pressure family? Could you stay close to course for at least some nights?

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TigerQueenofSheeba

The uni has said they're not fussed if I come with a baby, that people do it every year. And I can find babysitters for an hour or two- already scoped some out.

I am worried about the pressure it will put on my family. I can't afford any extra stress on my hubby whatsoever- his health is very poor, and he's just barely managing to keep a FT job. There's a good chance if my mum has my toddlers for three weeks, I won't be able to get any help from her for many weeks after that because she will be burned out. And my MIL would have to spend 3 hours every arvo looking after my eldest, doing pick ups. A big pressure on her. But a pressure for them all that will still exist in a year even if I wait (except my mum will have 2 x 3 year olds and a 1 year old instead of 2x 2 year olds this year), although there's a small hope that my husband may be doing better in a year, not much to be honest. If all my supports are burned out when I finish the course, I've still got to carry the burden of being the sole carer for my kids with minimal to no help from hubby due to his work hours and health. I'm really worried about making the wrong decision for everyone else and the pressure falling on them.

The days are long- 9 to 5 for the most part.

 

Can you get an aupair or nanny for a few weeks to help get you through this?

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RichardParker

I just read your OP again. So the course if you want to (probably sooner rather than later), but high-paying and dull is still high-paying. Money can buy lots of things that will make following your interests much easier later on. It just sounds like you and your family are under a lot of pressure right now- can the interesting study and work wait a few years? Until your DH is in a better place, health-wise?

 

I’m not telling you not to do it but, is there a rush for you to change careers? Apologies if I’m getting it wrong.

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red_squirrel

I just read your OP again. So the course if you want to (probably sooner rather than later), but high-paying and dull is still high-paying. Money can buy lots of things that will make following your interests much easier later on. It just sounds like you and your family are under a lot of pressure right now- can the interesting study and work wait a few years? Until your DH is in a better place, health-wise?

 

I’m not telling you not to do it but, is there a rush for you to change careers? Apologies if I’m getting it wrong.

 

High paying but dull, sounds good if you are not getting much sleep.

 

 

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SeaPrincess

I was studying the entire time I was having babies, so all of my children have been to uni with me at different times. There is no way in the world I'd have taken a 2-week-old to uni with me full time though. I found them incredibly distracting, no matter what they were doing.

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CallMeFeral

It sounds like you'd really love to do it.

 

So next year, you'd have to lose income to do the same course? Could you calculate the value of the lost income and allocate say 50-75% of that to an au pair or something that would ease the load on the people you are worried about leaning on? It might mean you spend more than you were planning to but it would still be a net benefit...

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JaneMummy

You're not a new Mum so you know the deal with new babies, other kids and the post-partum period.

 

You sound very driven and capable.

 

I am concerned that you really don't have a good, dependable support network around you. If at all possible, during the period you need additional support whilst studying I would hire a nanny to look after your other children and potentially look after the baby whilst you go to class. It is an expense but gets you where you want to be career wise without the time delay.

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Islander

Sounds like you can do it, but that perhaps your Mum and MIL would be very stretched? To be honest, I would struggle to ask them if I could predict they’d be burnt out by the end of it. Can you get a nanny for three weeeks?

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eve13

Yes, could you get a local high school student to do mornings ? Do a trade now with some friends, so they take turns to do drop off etc and you Don’t burn out the family all at once.

The 3hr drive daily I think might be hard. Could you stay closer, with baby?

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Ho Ho No

I like to bite off more than I can chew, then chew like crazy. But not if I have to rely on other people to that degree, under the conditions you describe.

 

However, I would happily pay someone to fulfil the role.

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NotBitzerMaloney

Yep, I’d do it - but if at all possible I’d try to get your mum some help too.

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DirtyStreetPie

OP, you sound like the kind of person who can pull it off. Go for it. :)

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c.sanders

If you did can you bring bub with you and just baby wear? Newborns are generally quiet as long as they are being held/fed. I'm sure you can time nappy changes with breaks or have a stroller handy if you need a place to change suddenly.

 

If you are up for it I say yes. Or even just do the 1 week for now

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Amica

I'd do it. I had my DS3 mid term at uni, assignment due the day of my C/S which I completed that morning, exams a few weeks later, a few weeks break, then start of a new term. Managed fine. My 4th baby is 6 months and I am ready for post grad.

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amdirel

Is it just two and a half weeks your family needs to help you out? Or just an intensive running for that time PLUS sporadic help for the rest of the semester etc.?

 

This is my question too. If you really only need their intensive help for 2.5 weeks, and they're happy to do it, then I would totally do it!!

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cabbage88

 

 

This is my question too. If you really only need their intensive help for 2.5 weeks, and they're happy to do it, then I would totally do it!!

Assignments are pretty much done now, before bub is due. It's over at the end of the 2.5 weeks unless I don't finish them in time.

And replying to some others above- I would baby wear and pram. Do not want to pass around a not immunized newborn for sure!

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RichardParker

OK, then do it, but maybe hire a cleaner if you don't already, or even an afternoon nanny, like a Uni student or something, to take the pressure off your parents/ILs and to keep the house running. The other kids might be a bit ratty with a new baby in the mix so a few extra hands might make all the difference in finishing or not.

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Rowenas necklace

Based on what you've said (because there's no way I'd do it, but my circumstances are very different), I think the best option is to talk to everyone involved, and if your family is fine with the plan then do it.

 

Make sure you allow them time to really consider if it's going to work for them, and encourage them to air any concerns they have.

 

But yes, as long as the support is there and willing, then I say go for it.

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cabbage88

Thanks so much for all the input everyone. Great advice here. Chatting to family today too, getting everyone's input. Here's to hoping it all works out!

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