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cabbage88

Some input in to a decision about whether to study

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cabbage88

I've put off asking this, partly because it's probably very identifying and I prefer anonymity and partly because few people understand the degree of my drive and capacity to work my a*** off for a short period of time, and get crazy levels of work done. So I've been laughed at a lot for my plans and that is mildly irritating.

But I am just really unsure and need some input.

I'm due to have baby number 4 very soon. I am also enrolled in a short post grad course I had been planning to do before surprise number 4. Thing is- doing the course would involve travelling 1.5 hours each way to campus and intensive class time with a newborn (2 weeks old) in tow but only for 2.5 weeks. Long days, and possibly might need to find a babysitter to give me some baby free time during class. It would also involve dumping two of my kids with family far away and considerable pressure on all my family to take over looking after my other kid because I can't do school drop off etc.

My hubby can't help whatsoever due to his work situation.

The question is not can I do this- but should I? I have to wait a whole year to do this again, and will have three young children to dump on family then and a school kid still. But that's one more year of low pay and not training in the area I really want to work in. However, I wouldn't have to go to uni with a newborn. Much easier! But doing in a year means three weeks off work unpaid. This way I'm already on Mat leave and don't lose income.

My other option is totally ditch my current job for now, go work in a high paying but very uninteresting, non- progressing but easy role whilst bub is young and worry about further study in a year.

I have to chase money at the moment, with having so many young ones in daycare, I have to replace the government mat leave when it finishes after paying daycare fees. If I don't do this course I really have to abandon the type of work I love for a year to do high paying dull work. This will set me back professionally.

I know I can do this, because I've done ridiculous feats like it in the past and I'm quite good at high intensity for short periods. If i do it, i can earn more in an area I'm extremely interested in. I just don't know if this is worth the stress it will place on my supports, family, kids and my self in that immediate post partum period.

So studying parents... What would you do?

Be kind. I'm pregnant and emotional!

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Monden

I would do it! At 2 weeks, baby probably won’t have “woken up” yet and it would be feasible.

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FuzzyChocolateToes

Hell no. I have 4 kids. At two weeks post partum I was hardly leaving the house. What if your baby is a week late?

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littleboysmum

I wouldn’t even dream of it, but honestly the thought of managing to study, with three kids and a newborn breaks me out in a cold sweat. You sound much more capable than me!

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Cimbom

I'm not a parent but the fact that it's only two weeks would make me consider it very strongly if the course is not massively demanding.

Edited by Cimbom
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Living Type

Does your partner get any paternity leave? Could he time it to coincide with the study rather than just after the birth?

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TigerQueenofSheeba

You sound like you can do it and like you know what you are capable of.

 

In that case... do it.

 

It's only 2.5 weeks. That's nothing. You will only have yourself and your newborn to focus on. Newborns sleep an awful lot.

 

Is it a possibility to defer the study if something happens and you can't make it? (like bub being late, c-section etc)?

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NeedSleepNow

I only have 3, but am similar in that I tend to take on intense amounts of work or tasks for short durations. My only concern would be the car travel. All 3 of mine have absolutely hated the car since day dot. With a baby that loves the car I wouldn’t hesitate!

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cabbage88

Hell no. I have 4 kids. At two weeks post partum I was hardly leaving the house. What if your baby is a week late?

If it's late, or an emergency c sect or whatever of course I'll pull the pin. It's not hard to pull out last minute.

4 kids in I know what I'm capable of in the post partum period- even with a psycho baby I think I could manage. If family have my other three I only have one left to worry about! If I don't I'm home with two toddlers and a newborn doing school pick up and drop off! I'm not sure it will be easier haha.

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Living Type

I’d also be looking at what the ramifications would be if you started it and couldn’t continue. Maybe you could just try and give yourself permission to quit if it doesn’t work out?

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cabbage88

Does your partner get any paternity leave? Could he time it to coincide with the study rather than just after the birth?

Unfortunately he has no leave! So no matter what I do he can't help. Just the situation he's in with a new job. He could get 2 weeks government leave but it's so much lower than he's actual income we can't afford to do that.

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cabbage88

Having trouble on my phone replying to multiple people so here's a few in one.

It's very easy to pull out of the birth goes awry. I can also pull out just as it's due to start. It's in two parts, I could do a week and defer the rest.

My kids have all been pretty good in the car, which is how I'd be getting there. Stuff public transport with a newborn!

It's long days, I think in the 2.5 weeks it's running there's only two days off.

There's assignments and exams too- but some of that I can do before bub comes.

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little lion

Is it just two and a half weeks your family needs to help you out? Or just an intensive running for that time PLUS sporadic help for the rest of the semester etc.?

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TigerQueenofSheeba

Give it a go. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work and if it does, you will be happy that you gave it a go!

 

You got this girl!

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red_squirrel

It sounds doable especially since you can pull out if things don’t go to plan.

 

Would they allow you to take the baby along to the course? Some places won’t for reasons from insurance or disruption to OH&S. have you asked the course organisers if it’s OK?

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RichardParker

Sounds like you want to do it so you’ll make it work. If you’re breastfeeding, you might need to take baby with you and have her cares for at the study venue- that could be feasible, depending on the set-up and timetable for the day- whether it’s on a campus or whatever.

 

A friend of mine had a baby while we were at Uni. We used to help her out and take the baby for a walk in the pram while she had classes. For 2.5 weeks you can cobble something together.

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CallMeFeral

How long are the days for the 2.5 weeks? You could be lucky, a friend of mine took her placid baby in to work for it's first few sleepy months. I had a colicky one and my colleagues would have shot us both if they'd had to deal with that. But you can play that by ear when it comes.

But if it's an awake, fussy bub, could you afford to hire a nanny or student to look after them or take them for a walk and bring them back to you for feeds, or something?

 

Would they allow you to take the baby along to the course? Some places won’t for reasons from insurance or disruption to OH&S. have you asked the course organisers if it’s OK?

 

I'd be concerned about this too. Some places are rigid.

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Chelli

I would do it but then again I've just resigned from a well paying job to return to full time study at Uni, so perhaps I'm not the right person to ask :happy:

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Nasty Teens

I've put off asking this, partly because it's probably very identifying and I prefer anonymity and partly because few people understand the degree of my drive and capacity to work my a*** off for a short period of time, and get crazy levels of work done. So I've been laughed at a lot for my plans and that is mildly irritating.

But I am just really unsure and need some input.

I'm due to have baby number 4 very soon. I am also enrolled in a short post grad course I had been planning to do before surprise number 4. Thing is- doing the course would involve travelling 1.5 hours each way to campus and intensive class time with a newborn (2 weeks old) in tow but only for 2.5 weeks. Long days, and possibly might need to find a babysitter to give me some baby free time during class. It would also involve dumping two of my kids with family far away and considerable pressure on all my family to take over looking after my other kid because I can't do school drop off etc.

My hubby can't help whatsoever due to his work situation.

The question is not can I do this- but should I? I have to wait a whole year to do this again, and will have three young children to dump on family then and a school kid still. But that's one more year of low pay and not training in the area I really want to work in. However, I wouldn't have to go to uni with a newborn. Much easier! But doing in a year means three weeks off work unpaid. This way I'm already on Mat leave and don't lose income.

My other option is totally ditch my current job for now, go work in a high paying but very uninteresting, non- progressing but easy role whilst bub is young and worry about further study in a year.

I have to chase money at the moment, with having so many young ones in daycare, I have to replace the government mat leave when it finishes after paying daycare fees. If I don't do this course I really have to abandon the type of work I love for a year to do high paying dull work. This will set me back professionally.

I know I can do this, because I've done ridiculous feats like it in the past and I'm quite good at high intensity for short periods. If i do it, i can earn more in an area I'm extremely interested in. I just don't know if this is worth the stress it will place on my supports, family, kids and my self in that immediate post partum period.

So studying parents... What would you do?

Be kind. I'm pregnant and emotional!

 

How does your family feel about looking after your children?

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~Jolly_F~

I would do it. I found newborns easy to take wherever and people were always happy to help out with cuddles when needed.

 

There is a new mum (baby is under a month old) in my course, she has been still coming along to classes with her baby. She had a couple of lovely friends who help her out and there are many of us who happily offer to cuddle when needed. I think she is a deadset legend to make it work!

 

You sound determined OP, you got this!

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cabbage88

The uni has said they're not fussed if I come with a baby, that people do it every year. And I can find babysitters for an hour or two- already scoped some out.

I am worried about the pressure it will put on my family. I can't afford any extra stress on my hubby whatsoever- his health is very poor, and he's just barely managing to keep a FT job. There's a good chance if my mum has my toddlers for three weeks, I won't be able to get any help from her for many weeks after that because she will be burned out. And my MIL would have to spend 3 hours every arvo looking after my eldest, doing pick ups. A big pressure on her. But a pressure for them all that will still exist in a year even if I wait (except my mum will have 2 x 3 year olds and a 1 year old instead of 2x 2 year olds this year), although there's a small hope that my husband may be doing better in a year, not much to be honest. If all my supports are burned out when I finish the course, I've still got to carry the burden of being the sole carer for my kids with minimal to no help from hubby due to his work hours and health. I'm really worried about making the wrong decision for everyone else and the pressure falling on them.

The days are long- 9 to 5 for the most part.

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**Tiger*Filly**

I would try and do it. I had my fourth child in the uni mid semester break and was back in class when she was three weeks old. And she was a c/s. Mind you that wasn't such an intensive course but at least yours is only for a short time.

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cvbn

If you really want this... I always get a post baby 'high' and hit the ground running.

 

Good luck!

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qak

If you're already used to high stress situations, I think it could be OK. I think it would be much better with a newborn than a 1yo!

 

My only hesitation would be the risk of you or bub picking up flu with all that's around at the moment?

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daisy007

I would do it and get it out of the way. You sound like your capable, know what your getting into and realistic about things possibly going to sh*t and being prepared to pull the pin if need be.

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