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Maddy72077

Wanting to conceive after a miscarriage at age 41

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Maddy72077

Hello I just lost a twin pregnancy, which was a total surprise, as I already have 4 children. I was devastated for the loss as I was starting to feel so happy about the babies and simply being a mom again. As I sit here sobbing and grieving this loss my heart wants me to try again. Is it a crazy thought at my age to want so badly to have another baby at 41. Has anyone felt this way or gone through a miscarriage that's left them longing to be pregnant.

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MwahMum

Couldn't let this go without responding, and sorry you haven't heard from anyone else on this.

 

Sorry for your loss. Can't imagine what you are going through.

 

Yes, I am currently pregnant at 41.

 

Following a MC a couple of years prior. And a FT pregnancy that did result in a DD.

 

For me, the desire to become pregnant again didn't immediately follow the MC. But it did reinforce that I wanted a child at some point.

 

Sending you kind thoughts x

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STLJRB

Yes, I can completely relate to how you are feeling.

I also just had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks and then d & c.

I am a couple of years older at 43 and also a mum to 4 amazing children.

We were so shocked to discover we were pregnant, completely unexpected especially as our other children were IVF babies.

It took us a few weeks to get used to the idea and at least a week of my DH bursting into hysterical laughter at odd times :-). Then we were excited to add to our family.

We were surprised at how gutted we both were when we discovered the heart had stopped beating and the pregnancy was no longer viable, even though we knew through experience that this was always a possibility.

So, I guess yes. We would love to try again, but I know that age and fertility issues for us means that it probably will not happen. The miscarriage has definitely left me longing for another baby now and I also go through times thinking I must be crazy to be considering it at my age.

I’m sorry for your loss.

 

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Caribou

I couldn’t not respond either. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

I have 2 kids, though I’m in my 30s, had a surprise pregnancy recently. Unfortunately it ended in miscarriage at 8wks. My heart wanted to try again, but my head said no. We could do a 3rd. But it upsets the balance of our family I think.

 

Someone recently said they wanted another child, not another baby. And that resonated with me. I don’t want the newborn stage. It’s easy but at the same time so, so hard.

 

I think you need to look into why you want another pregnancy. Is it because you don’t want your last pregnancy to be a loss? Is it to mask the pain of the loss? Or do you want to be a parent to newborn again? Will the addition upset the current family balance? Does your partner also want another child?

 

For me, the deciding factor was, though DH said he was ok if we went for a 3rd, he didn’t really want a 3rd. Both parties need to be on the same page about it. I cried heaps after that. I couldn’t have another child knowing the other half was only half into it. But I understood his reasons.

 

Give yourself time to heal. I think the desire for another child never goes away, but you learn to live with it. Focus on the future and what you have now.

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MrsT2018

OP, so sorry for your losses xo

 

I'm not quite 41, mid 30s but I have 2 kids and the youngest is 11. I thought I was done with having kids (not by my choice but xh).

 

When I was pregnant last year I was so happy yet reserved as I never expected to go back to the baby stage again. After the loss at 14 weeks, I was struggling big time and my DH thought maybe my only help would be to fall pregnant again.

 

We were trying once my cycle returned. Over the months after the loss I've had weeks of sadness lead into months. Through this time I've also had weeks of being ok lead into months of ok. I really really really yearned to fall pregnant again and have our own little baby.

 

I just recently went through the due date. Even though I was feeling ok and thought I'd passed the hardest part of the grieving, and even though I'd been prepared that it might be a tough day, I completely fell apart and was just a complete mess all day. I cried harder and longer than any day since that horrible day in hospital.

 

Since that day, I'm now at a point where I was before we fell pregnant. I feel completely fine. It was like a switch which flicked me back to who I once was. I'd be happy to have another child, however if it doesn't happen I would also be content with that. I'll always remember our baby in heaven but I'm not in a massive rush or feeling a need to try again.

 

So, sorry for the long reply but what I've experienced over the last 6 months, I'd say that the longing and yearning may pass in time as it has with me to an extent.

 

All the best xo

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Disydo2018

I’m so sorry to hear of everyone’s losses. I am currently TTC#1 and I had a miscarriage two weeks ago. It has only made me more seperate to be pregnant and I’m finding it very hard to deal with. So I don’t think you’re alone in how you’re feeling.

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Rhoxie
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