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How does everyone else afford this? UPDATED

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Expelliarmus

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?

 

 

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MarciaB

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?

 

If OP lives in Sydney then sadly that seems pretty reasonable for a home that accommodates 5 (soon to be 6).

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BECZ

Where do you live? In addition to dropping the private school, I think you need to move somewhere cheaper. I'm presuming the income you've stated is after tax.

 

From her posts, I'm guessing Darwin. It would explain the reasonably high rent and the preschool's idea on the creation of the world. Don't know how I'd go with no aircon in the car with a newborn with the heat and humidity. My parents survived literally living out-back-of-Bourke with a newborn and then the Riverina, but that's a dry heat. I hate humidity!

Edited by BECZ
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Crazyone26989

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?

 

It's how much I pay for a 2 bedroom apartment in Sydney's inner west. I wouldn't think it an unreasonable amount for a place big enough for 4 kids.

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EmmDasher

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?

 

$2k per month, I’m guessing $500 per week. Totally depends where you live.

 

In my area that gets you an unrenovated 3 bed, 1 bath queenslander on a scrappy block of land. That is within the 10km ring of a capital city. $500 for a family home would be considered pretty cheap for us.

 

It sounds like the OP is a bit more remote though.

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Amica

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?

 

In my neck of the woods, $500 a week would get you a McMansion but I appreciate that it's not the same everywhere. $200 - $250 is the going rate for a tidy 3 bed 1 bath, up to $350pw MAX, for new build 4 bed 2 bath.

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SummerStar

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Edited by SummerStar

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Expelliarmus

While we were building we rented a three bedroom home for $350 a week. It wasn’t a huge house but the block was sizeable. Might have been $370 ... definitely 300 something. Either we had a good deal or because ... Adelaide.

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Amica

It would explain the reasonably high rent and the preschool's idea on the creation of the world.

 

Now I'm out of touch. They seriously teach creationism in preschool? Is this the kind of education that is non negotiable vs food for the OP's DD and family?

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just roses

$5000 a year for FYOS is far too expensive for one of the Christian or Catholic schools in Darwin. If OP is in Darwin and wants a Christian school, there would be cheaper options. But ultimately, housing security and food security needs to trump private education.

 

Now I'm out of touch. They seriously teach creationism in preschool? Is this the kind of education that is non negotiable vs food for the OP's DD and family?

Not biblical creationism. OP's daughter was taught a Dreamtime creation of the world.

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Tinkle Splashes

Was she taught a Dreamtime creation of the world, or was she taught that some people believe in a Dreamtime creation? I find it hard to believe that Dreamtime creation would be taught as an historical fact.

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Amica

That clears it up. Thanks PPs.

 

Basically she was taught to a cirriculum (indiginous studies), not ideology over science as fact. That is good to hear. We did as much as absolutely zero indigenous studies all through primary in the early 80s.

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robhat

In my part of the world (Sydney suburb) you might get a reasonable 2 or even 3 bedroom apartment for $500 a week. If you want an actual house, you need to start at around $800 a week min. If you want to squish into a 1 bed place, you might get away with $300 a week.

 

Which is why I keep telling my poor neighbours who have one income (bus driver) and a 3rd child on the way, that they really don't NEED to live in Sydney. They are lovely people, but life would be much more affordable for them if they could come to terms with the fact that they can't actually afford to live where they'd like to.

 

 

And Aboriginal culture and stories including smoking ceremonies and the like are normal curriculum where I am, including and especially the two preschools run by my church. It concerns me somewhat that a child could actually be distressed by such stories for religious reasons.

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BECZ

It concerns me somewhat that a child could actually be distressed by such stories for religious reasons.

 

Me too!

 

Although we basically follow Christian beliefs, there is a lot that we don't believe. We left it open for our kids to believe what they want and most of them don't believe most of it, but up until now, they went to a Catholic school and just treated religion like a subject and wrote what the teacher considered to be the correct answer, even though they don't believe it. They all actually typically did quite well in religion and never became upset or distressed over it. My youngest believes more, but he just finished kindergarten and is in the frame of mind that because his teacher said that that is what happened, it must be correct.

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3babygirls

I'm sorry but prioritising a religious education over food is ridiculous.. You know that there will be kids at the religious school that also may not be religious right?

 

Also, if you are in financial stress now it may not miraculously solve itself just because when the kids go to school you can work. You can't bank on anything for sure! Your situation could get worse, someone could get sick, hubby could lose his job etc. you need to plan for the unexpected and set yourself up for the future, not bank that the future will be better.

 

Also, your paying 5K for fees.. there's still so much more that goes with schooling. Camps, excursions, uniforms, devices etc. the list goes on and on.

 

The things i'd look at

1) cut the private school, it's definitely not necessary.

2) look at your electricity usage and internet/phones. We have 4 adults and one kid, aircon and a pool and our electricity usage is less than yours!

3) start planning on how to save money and get a bit ahead once your on top of things. Really prioritise what you need and start trying to get out of the red.

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eliza_non

Was she taught a Dreamtime creation of the world, or was she taught that some people believe in a Dreamtime creation? I find it hard to believe that Dreamtime creation would be taught as an historical fact.

 

I know this is slightly off topic, but my kids daycare was really clumsy in their teaching of Dreamtime. The kids took it as fact. It got a bit out of hand. Plus yoga, crystals, Native American beliefs, basically whatever the lead educator’s passion was at the time. Their public school is nothing like this. Other cultures beliefs are taught in context and follow the national curriculum.

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Abernathy

Perhaps the OP is exaggerating a bit when she talks about having no money for food half the time (??). Sometimes people use this sort of language to mean they’re low on some foods etc... I only say this because surely no one in their right mind would have children going hungry in order to pay religious school fees?? I tend to think that anyone who has genuinely been unable to feed their kids would not be having this conversation.

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~river song~

Chat to the school about fee assistance or a bursary, must religious schools have things in place for a family struggling.

You need to increase your income really. You’re hubby either needs a higher paying job, or you do or both, and look for a side hustle - a second job, selling your stuff you no longer need, weekend/night work do some googling lots of ideas around. Sometimes all the cutbacks in the world won’t make a budget work if there isn’t enough money and for 6 people that can often be the case.

As for the car I’d have your eldest go untethered if they are 6, that’s what we did for my eldest.

All the best

 

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just roses

I don't think planning to earn more money is realistic at this stage. OP might be able to work a bit now, but she's about to have a baby so will be out of the workforce for at least a few months and - depending on her earning capacity - will lose a lot in daycare fees.

 

Also, are you hoping to save for a house at some point, OP? I think you need to work towards having at least $1000 in the bank for a rainy day. And as things stand now, it looks like you don't have any capacity to build up a buffer.

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Beanette

Perhaps the OP is exaggerating a bit when she talks about having no money for food half the time (??). Sometimes people use this sort of language to mean they’re low on some foods etc... I only say this because surely no one in their right mind would have children going hungry in order to pay religious school fees?? I tend to think that anyone who has genuinely been unable to feed their kids would not be having this conversation.

 

Yes, I am a bit unsure about this part as well. For some people "no money for food" means no money to go out and purchase more, but there is still plenty in the pantry / freezer so no one is actually going hungry. Making do from what you already have is a whole different ball game to children being sent to be without dinner.

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just roses

 

Yes, I am a bit unsure about this part as well. For some people "no money for food" means no money to go out and purchase more, but there is still plenty in the pantry / freezer so no one is actually going hungry. Making do from what you already have is a whole different ball game to children being sent to be without dinner.

That's true. But surely anyone in that situation - not being able to buy more groceries - can't afford private school fees. And what happens when the washing machine blows up or a child needs some sort of intervention for learning difficulties?

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literally nobody

Op surely there are much cheaper private catholic schools around?

 

if you really need another car id not be spending more than 10k at this stage.

 

 

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cabbage88

I'm still catching up on posts- thanks so much everyone. Just wanted to get a reply in before kids interrupt again.

We are 40k out of Melbourne. We recently moved, and our previous place had a deadline. The market at the time was really difficult, some places were going for 380PW,some 500. We ended up a little stuck on choice (cheaper smaller places all got snapped up) and took where we were thinking we would manage with hubbys recent pay rise. We have underestimated all the costs we were taking on at once for sure. We will probably move at the end of the lease in an attempt to get cheaper. I would LOVE to move further out, even Darwin, but my hubby is in the CBD and in a niche industry and getting paid well above his qualification at the moment.

We have also recently come out of a horrific ten years financially. Studying and serious illness for hubby made life incredibly hard. We have recently forked out$3k on cars, because we were unable to service/ do tyres for two years!! It was mental. I thought maybe playing catch up was killing us but now it's woefully apparent we don't earn enough for what we have taken on.

I am hearing what everyone's saying about private school. I do realise how nuts it sounds. I was paying the same amount in daycare fees before for just her, so I was thinking it wasn't going to be a big jump. But here we are.

And yes we can work more. DH is looking to take on his old job part time in a couple weeks outside his current hours, and just today if had more work confirmed for the next 4 months, which should bring in an extra 800 A week which is massive for us. Also when bub comes I'll at least be able to tread water for a few months as I'll get mat leave at a reasonable level, more than I'm currently earning! But will absolutely have to return to work as soon as bub is 4 months and it stops.

I've found all the insight in to private school very challenging, and certainly got a lot to think over. there is some excellent points here.

Will respond more when I can

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cabbage88

 

 

I agree. Things may be tight but the kids have food. I wouldn't prioritise religion over school but there are other things I would let go of before school as the nearest school is a significant drive (in my perspective) and is overly populated/ rough.

 

They are building a new school but that won't be for another two years.

 

Can you freelance from home on the weekends?

 

I'll clear this up.

The last 8 weeks, we were paid in fortnightly cycles and one lot went to rent one lot we are living off. The weeks we paid rent we went "CRAP there's nothing left for groceries!!" Which happened twice- last pay cycle and the one before. We were thinking " oh it's just because of Christmas, or that car service we had to do, that big off plan bill we had we'll be fine by next month". Now we've realised, no the numbers don't actually work and we can't live off what is left over after rent. Like right now, the accounts are nearly empty again and next pay cycle pays rent and we're kinda stuffed after that. But rather than just instantly pull her from school, we instead rang some old employers and managed to get a weekend where we both work and pull an extra $1k, so at least we should have some breathing space while we work out a solution to or current predicament. Which yes, may involve pulling her from school.

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Tinky Winky Woo

I think you as the parent need to investigate what is actually been taught in class in relation to other 'religious' beliefs and what your daughter has interpreted from these teachings.

 

My experience in the education system is that there are different units taught. One of these is the dreamtime, which could be seen as religious teaching, when in it is giving information on how they believed the world was created, and what happens when you die.

 

Whilst I am Christian, and we don't believe in the same ideals as other religions, I do believe in acceptance. I think perhaps sitting down with your daughter and explaining that accepting there are other beliefs and traditions might go a long way. I am not suggesting she is developing a sense of been the only religion that is acceptable, I get from your posts that this could go down that path very quickly.

 

If your family are religious then take your child to church, sing the songs at home and in your car,she can sing in the playground as much as she likes. She does not need to go to a private school to do these things. If you are afraid to upset her now I fear for what she is going to do when she is a teenager, because you might be afraid to upset her then. You are the parent, you have the authority to change schools for the overall benefit of the whole family. Living that far into the future, is not going to help your family now. You might end up having no food, no home to live in BUT your daughter will be in a school where she can practice her religious beliefs to her hearts content, so yes that is the priority here isn't it? Yes I am been sarcastic but feel other's are pointing out the obvious and you can not seen it or refuse to see it for the fear of upsetting a FYOS kid.

 

I have a black and white thinking kid but with a lot of talking and discussion I have been able to encourage him to be more accepting of others and their beliefs. It was hard and a long process but worth it for him to not been seen as unaccepting of other's.

 

I also concur that changing to a cheaper school is the only option, or go back to work for you. Get the old car fixed and put up with the issues until you go go back to work. Cut back on using electricity, turn off lights, turn off air con, check your hot water service is working efficiently, take shorter showers, don't use a clothes drier. With your phones and net do some investigating and be pushy you might find you will need to pay an upfront cost but get rid of the plan earlier and cheaper. Get rid of extra's if you have them, like netflix, coffees out, cut back on presents for birthdays and Christmas - after all if your religion is that strong, gifts are not necessary in many religions.

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