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Caribou

OMG how hard is it to freaking shower?!

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Caribou

For the last two months I’ve been trying to get DD to shower and wash her hair her self. But it seems like every lesson just goes down the drain!

 

Previously she’d get in shower with me bc it was faster, but now with a baby in tow, I’ve gotten up earlier myself and showered then DD showers herself.

 

But she just takes FOREVER! What shouldn’t take longer than 10 mins takes 25! And that’s with me supervising! I’m banging my head on the wall here! She zones out a lot.

 

We don’t hve a bathtub so that’s not an option.

 

Oh and I tried a timer so she knew how long she had.

 

DIDNT WORK.

 

I’m dying here. I’m tired of yelling. I’m tired of the soap residue still in her hair. I’m tired of trying to show her over and over what to do and how to be sure residue is gone.

 

Ive even put in. Shower mirror!!

 

It’s GAHHHHHHHH

 

TIPS?!

Edited by Caribou

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cira

If she is just little, you could try forgoing the soap. The water alone will get her pretty clean. Or teach her to use a cloth washer with a small squirt of liquid body wash.

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Caribou

She’s 6.5, nearly 7

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ekbaby

How often does she wash hair ?

My long haired kid only washes hair once a week or less. Even with playing sport it doesn’t seem to get very oily

Without hair washing the rest should be easier

Also could you swap to night showers so there is less time pressure ?

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~Jolly_F~

Don’t wash her hair every time. Once or twice a week is enough and on those occasions, you can go in and help rinse.

 

My youngest is 7 and I still help her rinse her hair when it gets a full wash or she doesn’t get all the soap out and if some gets missed it’s not the end of the world...

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Caribou

It’s shoulder length hair. It used to be long, but as an agreement with her, to help learn how to wash hair, we had it cut short - she wanted this as she wants ‘independance’ I get it. I wanted her to do this too.

 

We have to shower daily. She’s a pretty hands on kids in playground.

 

Nighttime isn’t really an option. The way our lives work doesn’t really allow it. I wish it would. I’ve considered it but i could get it to fit in with the routine for nights.

 

I’m just about in tears. I’ve tried being positive and upbeat and encouraging. Now we’re getting towards the growling and yelling and just OMG HAS NOTHING I SHOWED YOU STUCK?!

 

She’s a bright, intelligence girl. She’s incredibly academic. But at the same time, she won’t or can’t listen to me or anything I say simply doesn’t stick.

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Caribou

I should add, the shower is not very helper friendly either. Anyone who helps basically gets half their body drenched. Not to mention DDs retcultance to leave the water so I can help, she just bends forwards ever so slightly so I can help. But it doesn’t help. I need her to step forward and she doesn’t. It’s just hard.

 

I know, I’m probably expecting too much. I’m just defeated this morning. The baby kept me up all night last night and DH had the gall to ask for 45mins sleep in bc he was tired.

 

I almost divorced him.

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PhillipaCrawford

Super intelligent - so try discussing water conservation and saving the planet.

 

Unless she is rolling in mud daily showers are unnecessary -0 and all that soap is actually harmful to kids skin

 

You life can be changed to organise a shower at night if that is necessary. Life changes all the time, it might not be easy but it can be done

 

ETA sorry that you are struggling with sleeplessness. I wonder how much attention she is getting delaying like this. Sounds like you had a nice togetherness thing going pre-baby. New baby arrives and she is suddenly on her own hmmmm. Perhaps do it when baby is with someone else so it becomes a special time for you both

Edited by Anon100
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Serinitynow

Why do you wash her hair daily? Cut it to twice a week tops. She will still need a daily shower - but it will be a lot easier.

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ritten

My 5.5 yo is learning this at the moment (mainly as I'm injured and cannot help as quickly as they would like)

 

They wear goggles so they aren't constantly trying to keep their face out of the spray and we have a basin (ikea flexi washing basket) in the base of the shower that they stand in.

 

Once the tub is full the shower goes off and if they haven't rinsed their hair by then we have to do it with a cup/jug from the basin.

 

They get a short time to sit in the basin at the end of the shower and have a play if they want (like a mini bath). But the water goes cold pretty quickly so they don't last long.

 

 

Then they can come downstairs to get dressed in front of the heater and have breakfast.

 

Good luck.

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Lifesgood

It sounds like you are trying to force something to happen that she just isn't ready for. It is clearly going to take her a bit longer to get the hang of it. You can either continue to rail against it or you can change your schedule.

 

Here is what I would do.

 

Skip the shower in the morning. If she is clean enough at the end of the day to go to bed without a shower, she is clean enough in the morning to get dressed without a shower.

 

Continue to shower with her on weekends and once or twice midweek evenings until she gets it. Hair wash on weekends only.

 

My DD is 12 and still doesn't rinse the conditioner out of her hair properly. My 7 y/o DS can't wash his own hair yet.

Edited by Lifesgood
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Sentient Puddle

Cut down on the showers. Every second or third day and wash her hair once a week. Unless she has mud coating her eyelids she cant need a shower that badly. You are finding this time challenging, dont make it worse for yourself.

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rosie28

I’d do whatever was necessary to move showering until the end of the day, or certainly cut hair washing to once or twice a week. She can’t be that dirty if she’s going to bed without showering. Get her a cute shower cap and those showers will be super quick. In the meantime for the hair washing showers get in with her, and show her the whole routine and make it fun. It sounds like it used to be an easy time and she’s probably missing the positive attention.

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blimkybill

It sounds like you are trying to force something to happen that she just isn't ready for. It is clearly going to take her a bit longer to get the hang of it. You can either continue to rail against it or you can change your schedule.

 

Here is what I would do.

 

Skip the shower in the morning. If she is clean enough at the end of the day to go to bed without a shower, she is clean enough in the morning to get dressed without a shower.

 

Continue to shower with her on weekends and once or twice midweek evenings until she gets it. Hair wash on weekends only.

 

My DD is 12 and still doesn't rinse the conditioner out of her hair properly. My 7 y/o DS can't wash his own hair yet.

I agree;she sounds like she is not ready. I would change my routine in some way. Why not use a shower cap for weekday showers, they can be a 5 minute body rinse. Then hair wash on the weekend when you have more time to help.

 

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Expelliarmus

My kids were unable to shower and wash hair independently until about 10yo. That’s when I was independently hair washing as well. I think your DD is a bit young.

 

Our routine until then was a quick bath, becoming a shower around 7/8, before bed each night and showers to wash hair on Saturday evenings. The PP idea of the tub in the shower sounds good.

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~Jolly_F~

Out last place had no bath, so we had a a tub in the bottom like PP suggested, so kids could still have baths. It worked well :)

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CrankyM

My two struggle and they are 9 & almost 8. We do daily showers (they need it). But they don’t wash their hair daily. It’s jot necessarily and isn’t actually good for your hair. I also buy the Palmolive kids shampoo/bath wash. It does a good job of washing hair (unlike 99% of the no sting ones) and it doesn’t really sting the eyes. It also comes in a pump bottle so you can’t get heaps out.

 

How about you do daily showers and get her to use a scrubber? Kids ones come in cute toy like shapes. Then pick say 1 or 2 days at the most where you decide that’s washing hair day and you get in with her or help her. Preferable a weekend day works best. Also ifs she’s filthy enough she needs daily showers I’d really be doing everything I could to fit them into the afternoon/evening. Otherwise she’s sleeping in all that grot. I usually get mine to do quick 5 minutes ones while I’m cooking dinner. But then I’m a horrible mean Mum and will turn on the hot water in the kitchen sink and freeze them out of the shower...

 

ETA we have also used a heavy duty black strange tub in the bottom of the shower. Our shower is tiny. Actually our bathroom is tiny.

Edited by mayahlb

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eponee

Can she just have an all-over wash at the end of some days with a bowl of warm soapy water and a face washer?

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nup

Can you get one of those big soft plastic buckets and put it in the shower for her to stand in? The bucket can be filled and water tipped over her hair for washing.

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Paddlepop

She has ADHD doesn’t she? I’m not surprised she gets distracted in the shower. My DD sure does. She’s 8yo and not yet ready to shower independently. Bit by bit she’s learning to wash herself. I think you either need to try evening showers to reduce the time pressure, or go back to showering together. Try again for independence in a few months. She’s clearly not ready yet.

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Caribou

Thanks everyone for the tips. We have such a crazy unique life that I have to run things to precision. Having no car means missing the bus etc is not an option. So I’m more rigorous than most to have things done to the clock.

 

DS had been up since one and once 5amcloxked over, I had to start the day and make DS wait until DD was at school to attempt resettling. So the house was just chaos.

 

DD is at school and DS is finally asleep. I’ve had a good cry and frankly I do feel like I’ve failed as a parent.

 

If I’m honest with Myself, it’s not so much the inability to shower, but the constant repeating myself and DD not listening, and when pulled up on it, and even have a chat about it, why we do etc and why we need to do etc. she’s like ok mummy.

 

And then does it again. Despite we’d just discussed prior why e.g picking your brother up when I’ve said not to, doesn’t mean pick your brother up anyway.

 

If she doesn’t agree with me, she’ll do what suits her. And I’m tired of it. Most mornings I can ignore and just mutter to myself she’s just a kid, it’s not forever.

 

This morning muttering to myself wasn’t helping.

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CrankyM

If does have adhd yeah god I can sympathise. 2 kids with adhd and our mornings are quiet frankly hell. And I’m not slee derived or have a baby! And we don’t have showers to deal with. (Mine are currently playing LEGO rather then getting ready. They have to be at the bus stop in 10 mins but I just can’t take it this morning).

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Caribou

She has ADHD doesn’t she? I’m not surprised she gets distracted in the shower. My DD sure does. She’s 8yo and not yet ready to shower independently. Bit by bit she’s learning to wash herself. I think you either need to try evening showers to reduce the time pressure, or go back to showering together. Try again for independence in a few months. She’s clearly not ready yet.

 

You do have a point. The paed was very recluntant to put a ‘label’ on it so to speak, he even made me read a book on ADHD before seeing him again. He said, while she displays the symptoms of ADHD, it’s entirely possible she’ll grow out of it. But made no more suggestions on how to help or understand her from

Here, other than to see him every 6 months. To me, she exhibits all the symptoms for ADHD, to school, she’s a typically distracted kid, who just needs reminding to focus on task. To the paed, he said 60% of the population of kids have some symptoms of ADHD, so she’s like any other kid. And since it’s not impacting her at school... we take the wait and see approach.

 

Which really doesn’t help on the home front. I’m tired. It

Was hard enough to get in to see a paed. And he treated us like we were over reactive parents.

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rainycat

My kids have only mastered the solo shower at 8.

They turn on shower, wash long hair but would still be in for hours unless I call out to finish.

At 6.5 they couldn’t manage on their own.

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22Fruitmincepies

DD is younger, but she gets dirty most days. I can’t send her to bed dirty, but sometimes we don’t have time for a bath, so I wipe the grime off with a damp wash cloth.

 

I hear you on the repeating yourself to a bright kid, it really does send you spare.

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