Jump to content
Busylittlebee

Nappy changing a toddler

Recommended Posts

Busylittlebee

Any mums got any tips for changing a wiggly toddler ?

 

My son is 3.5yo and still nowhere near potty trained so still in nappies, I use terry squares and they work great but I find they aren't the easiest on a restless toddler.

 

I change on the floor which means he does wiggle a lot but he's a bit big for a changing table :-(

 

Thanks :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MissMilla

Bribe him! I used to wrap up a small piece of food like carrot or apple or something. Jyst one bite. Wrap it in alu or gladwrap and it kept him busy while i changed him. Then he got to eat it afterwards :)

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Busylittlebee

I'll try that thanks :-)

 

I've never much bothered with distraction techniques, I normally just get on with it as quick as I can, when he was younger that worked fine but now he's older I need something to take his mind off the nappy.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Busylittlebee

Where do other mums do most of the nappy changing ? Floor, bed, purpose built changing table etc ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
needs to get out

We have a very solid change table. (Leander) I just looked how much one is to buy new and it’s ridiculous, but we have used it for 3 children for 99.9% of nappy changes at home. The height is great and it has never been unstable at all. We paid considerably less than it currently sells for new about 6.5 years ago.

 

Not worth buying for a 3yo who probably won’t need more than 6 months changing on it.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
kerilyntaryn

For that age, nappy changing on the floor

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lou-bags

I always change my kids on the change table when we are at home, I find there is less wriggling and fighting it. Floor nappy changes are a last resort for me- my kids always seem to take it as a cue to try to get up and run off nappy free.

 

My DS1 was TT about 1-2 months before he turned 3. He is big for his age so was probably about 18kg and very tall but we have a nice solid table, so it took his weight easily. His big long legs would just hang off the end.

 

Have you tried the opposite of distraction- getting him engaged in the process? Tell him he needs a change and let him (to as much of an extent as possible) choose when you’ll do it (like ‘shall we change your nappy now, or once your done with those blocks?). Then give him a wipe to help and narrate each step of the process with him?

 

I’ve found ^^^ participatory approach can work really well for a lot of things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kiwi Bicycle

I have seen some of your posts over the last few days. I think you should be moving to change him next to the toilet so he gets the idea of toilet equal peeing and pooing. I also think uou need to stop treating him like a baby by laying him down and change him standing up. I realise you don't want to do disposables and maybe are hoping the uncomfortableness of wet fabric encourages to start training so I do like the idea is fabric training pants. I think the nappy thing isn't that great. All these suggestions came from an incontinence nurse who specialises in toilet training at a seminar I attended.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GreenEggs&Ham

I change my 3.5 year old on the (hand me down IKEA) change table. My back can't handle anything else. If he rocks the whole thing moves but he knows he's being naughty and stops as soon as he is told off.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mrs Pink

I did a stand up change in the combined bathroom /toilet with my DS. He was in pull up nappy pants which made it possible to manage. I got the "all toileting in the toilet / bathroom" suggestion from an OT friend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Busylittlebee

I do occasionally use the changing table but it is now a bit small for him so the floor is more usual even if it does mean back ache ;-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lou-bags

Yeh I really don’t see the problem with changing a child lying down. Nor using change table.

 

I feel like it’s seriously underestimating the cognitive capacity of a child to think that they need to be changed in the toilet to learn that’s where they need to go. Sounds like house training a puppy!

 

My 19mo knows that big people do their business on the toilet- I’m quite sure a 3.5yo gets it. Doesn’t mean they are ready to do it themselves.

 

OP I don’t think you should make this a battle of wills with your child. Using a toilet is something they’ll all do once they are ready.

 

Hopefully a little break from it all, back in nappies, with the pressure off and no accidents to upset you both and he’ll be ready to do it himself. Who knows, the annoyance of nappies might be just the thing!

 

Good luck.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Busylittlebee

Thanks Lou :-)

 

I guess they all get there in the end and what works for one child isn't necessarily going to work for another.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Soontobegran

I have seen some of your posts over the last few days. I think you should be moving to change him next to the toilet so he gets the idea of toilet equal peeing and pooing. I also think uou need to stop treating him like a baby by laying him down and change him standing up. I realise you don't want to do disposables and maybe are hoping the uncomfortableness of wet fabric encourages to start training so I do like the idea is fabric training pants. I think the nappy thing isn't that great. All these suggestions came from an incontinence nurse who specialises in toilet training at a seminar I attended.

 

Moving a child to a toilet to change their nappy is not going to trigger his hormones and nervous system to suddenly believe they are ready. Being uncomfortable does not suddenly make a child TT......It is a physiological milestone and not a psychological/emotional one.

 

OP

I do agree that standing might work.....with a terry cloth nappy pin one side and get him to slip it on one side then you only have one side to do.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kiwi Bicycle

 

 

Moving a child to a toilet to change their nappy is not going to trigger his hormones and nervous system to suddenly believe they are ready. Being uncomfortable does not suddenly make a child TT......It is a physiological milestone and not a psychological/emotional one.

 

OP

I do agree that standing might work.....with a terry cloth nappy pin one side and get him to slip it on one side then you only have one side to do.

 

Ok so my child that would go and run to his bedroom to do a poo and would scream, hit and push the door closed wasn't ready to use the toilet? Yes I had to drag him to the toilet and then let him do it in a nappy. Then I managed to get him to sit on the toilet and after a lot of bribes and a few months he got the message. Poo in the toilet. Don't go and hide in the bedroom. He really hadn't connected that he could use the toilet that it wasn't just for mum and dad. And honestly this advice is everwhere from trusted sources. I am also glad I threw away the change table. They are not little babies anymore.

Yes night training is totally different. That's hormone and age dependent. At three they should be encoraged to pull pants up and down. A nappy doesn't allow that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Soontobegran

Ok so my child that would go and run to his bedroom to do a poo and would scream, hit and push the door closed wasn't ready to use the toilet? Yes I had to drag him to the toilet and then let him do it in a nappy. Then I managed to get him to sit on the toilet and after a lot of bribes and a few months he got the message. Poo in the toilet. Don't go and hide in the bedroom. He really hadn't connected that he could use the toilet that it wasn't just for mum and dad. And honestly this advice is everwhere from trusted sources. I am also glad I threw away the change table. They are not little babies anymore.

Yes night training is totally different. That's hormone and age dependent. At three they should be encoraged to pull pants up and down. A nappy doesn't allow that.

 

I think we need to remove the 'little babies' comment out of the discussion with others and the child. I also wonder how in earth you think the generations pre pull ups ever toilet trained their children?

Of course it was cloth nappies and pins and it was standing or sitting..Children did NOT take longer to toilet train but what was different was that there was no stress from reading too many articles on social media which make parents second guess that their child is normal.

 

Having strange rituals about using the toilet for poo are also normal and usually associated with fear for some reason or another.

All toilet training is hormone and neurologically dependent.....night time is when it is most noticed as the child is asleep as the hormones are working to concentrate the urine so as the child is not filling their bladder and allows it to fill and wake the child when it is full.

 

We need to be more relaxed about the process both day and night, almost 100% of NT children will be day time trained before they go to preschool even if we did nothing but show them where the potty or toilet is and not being night time trained should really not even be considered a problem in the first couple of years of school.

Edited by Soontobegran
  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mae55

 

 

I think we need to remove the 'little babies' comment out of the discussion with others and the child. I also wonder how in earth you think the generations pre pull ups ever toilet trained their children?

Of course it was cloth nappies and pins and it was standing or sitting..Children did NOT take longer to toilet train but what was different was that there was no stress from reading too many articles on social media which make parents second guess that their child is normal.

 

Having strange rituals about using the toilet for poo are also normal and usually associated with fear for some reason or another.

 

I think the PP is saying that at 3.5 toilet training (in the day) may not be related to physiological readiness and one part of helping them become emotionally and cognitively ready for toilet training is to associate toileting tasks with the bathroom rather than bedroom.

 

It’s fairly standard advice from continence therapists. My kids were cognitively ready for toilet training well before they were physiologically ready leading to many many accidents in children who refused nappies or pull ups. They just did not get signals in time to get to toilet every time.

 

Other children are of course, the opposite. Getting signals but refuse to use toilet (for many reasons, including fear and learned associations). I completely agree that forcing a child is counter productive but handing some control over to the child by changing show and where you change them and giving them some more ownership can be an important step for some children.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Soontobegran

I think the PP is saying that at 3.5 toilet training (in the day) may not be related to physiological readiness and one part of helping them become emotionally and cognitively ready for toilet training is to associate toileting tasks with the bathroom rather than bedroom.

 

It’s fairly standard advice from continence therapists. My kids were cognitively ready for toilet training well before they were physiologically ready leading to many many accidents in children who refused nappies or pull ups. They just did not get signals in time to get to toilet every time.

 

Other children are of course, the opposite. Getting signals but refuse to use toilet (for many reasons, including fear and learned associations). I completely agree that forcing a child is counter productive but handing some control over to the child by changing show and where you change them and giving them some more ownership can be an important step for some children.

 

I have done all the continence lectures too, not only for my role in parent education but as a mum who did everything wrong the first time around and who was determined to not make the same mistake for the next 4.

The last 4 benefited greatly from my better understanding with some of them being trained earlier than poor number 1.

Yes there has to be a cognitive readiness as well as a physical one but it has to be in combination. The child does not need to be pushed into either. It will click one day and it will have little to do with what we are doing.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Busylittlebee

Yes I have just gone back to using a nappy after trying everything including pull ups. He simply isn't ready and is uncooperative so it was becoming stressful for both of us.

 

A nappy takes away a lot of the worry for a while till he is a bit older to retry the potty

 

I'm starting to feel guilty :-(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lou-bags

Why do you feel guilty, BLB?

 

Perhaps reframing this in your mind will help. This is HIS responsibility to learn, it’s his body. Let him take ownership of this.

 

This is not a reflection of you as a parent, you’re actually do a respectful thing for him by acknowledging that’s he’s not ready and giving him time. Don’t let the opinion of others sway you. You know your child. He’s not ready.

 

This feels so important right now, I know. But even mcjudgy judgy pants’ will soon forget all about this when your child is older.

 

You’re doing fine, he’s doing fine.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Busylittlebee

No problem, I've decided to keep the nappies on for a while longer,, it won't hurt for a while then try again later.

 

It may not be ideal and no doubt some would disagree at using a nappy but it's a lot less stressful :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mae55

No problem, I've decided to keep the nappies on for a while longer,, it won't hurt for a while then try again later.

 

It may not be ideal and no doubt some would disagree at using a nappy but it's a lot less stressful :-)

 

I don’t think anyone is disagreeing with using a nappy. I think it’s a great idea to remove any pressure for a while. All that someone suggested was consider pull ups but in understand you don’t want to because of cost which is understandable. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
cvbn

Goodnees, don't feel guilty.

 

It is a just a skill he (and his body) has to learn.

 

Please, please don't feel bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kiwi Bicycle

 

 

I think we need to remove the 'little babies' comment out of the discussion with others and the child. I also wonder how in earth you think the generations pre pull ups ever toilet trained their children?

Of course it was cloth nappies and pins and it was standing or sitting..

 

My mother used wnite cotton squares for both my sister and I but when toilet training started transferred us into terry towelling training pants. These are still available occassionally at Aldi, Best and Less and definitely online. So there is an alternative to flat nappies or pull up disposables that can still allow standing up changes plus a child can pull them up and down like underwear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
seayork2002

I may lose mummy points for this but I will only say what I would do if it was my son - I would change in front of the tv. or another bribe thing for him to have held

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...