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luke's mummu

Just so awful - warning - trigger-UPDATED

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luke's mummu

In my early/mid 20's I attended a fantastic new church/bible study and made lots of new friends after moving out of home for work.

 

Today I found out the bible study leader has been charged with historic sex offences against 4 children in the church. At the time I was attending the church and was friends with him.

 

I've messaged 2 mutual friends who are both still friends with him and both think he is basically a good person who did a lot of good work and happy memories and maybe it's all a misunderstanding.

 

Admittedly he hasn't been found guilty yet, but given that it involves 4 children and bail has been denied most likely he is guilty.

 

I don't know what to think. It's like all my happy memories of the group/church are based on lies and crimes against children.

Edited by luke's mummu

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CallMeFeral

Oh OP, what a shock. I'm so sorry.

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lizzzard

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Datrys

I'm so sorry. It's sickening when someone you trusted and looked up to turns out to have been behaving like this; and leaves you re-examining all they meant to you, wondering what (if anything) is still innocent.

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~river song~

Doing good things doesn’t automatically make you a good person. And in cases like this often the good things are self serving and with a motive to gain access to vulnerable people and children

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notsoretro

As an adult we discovered one of the teachers at the Sunday School my sister and I attended had been jailed for child abuse. My Mum told me about it with a questioning look, but I wasn't molested. My sister had already died so we couldn't ask her.

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just roses

That’s awful :-(

 

It’s not the same, but a colleague of mine who I had worked with in a small team was convicted of child porn offences. We weren’t friends outside of work (although he was close to another colleague and had stayed at her home with her family, including toddler), but it was an awful shock all the same.

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IkeaAddict

My year 6 teacher was convicted and did jail time for child sex offences quite a few years after I finished school.About 3-4 years ago I got an official letter from a capital city law firm basically stating that the school knew of his "history" when he was employed there and that at the time he taught me there were incidents that happened in the classroom that he had been convicted for. I had to answer a heap of questions regarding had I see anything, had anything happened to me, did I know anything etc. Basically it was a class action against the school for emplying him knowing his history.

 

School was catholic, I did year 6 in 1984 (to give an idea of time frame).

 

I didn't remember anything in regards to what they were asking, all I remember about that teacher was that he used to smoke while teaching us at the front of the classroom. And we were all glad we had him as a teacher because the other year 6 teacher used to make the kids to aerobics before class every morning

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Jenflea

I had a teacher at our school who was charged with child abuse.

 

Dh also had him at his school so he was obviously moved around a bit by the education office because he never stayed long at any one school. (catholic high schools in the late 80's early 90's)

 

Dh knew one poor boy who was abused by him but we never found out until 20 years down the track.

 

(lots of swear words) teacher killed himself to escape going to jail. I had no inkling he was an abuser but he liked boys apparently so us girls were of no interest to him.

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lucky 2

I have memory blanks at around age 11 when I was preparing for confirmation (Anglican), I have vague memory of being lost on the church grounds and being "found" by a certain man (family friend/member of church).

I don't have any further memories or much at all from primary school. I ended up with a extreme repulsion towards him but I didn't know why and I did a happy dance when I heard he had died.

It's so prevalent that most of us will end up being somehow involved with cases of child abuse, whether at the center or on the periphery.

Hopefully the future will be brighter for our kids and grandkids. x

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ballogo

I've never told anyone but our local GP molested me during a physical examination when I was in Year 7 - with my dad sitting in the other room. I didn't know or understand at the time that it was wrong but flat out refused to go to the doctor for anything for the next 4-5 years. My mum insisted that he was a lovely and gentle doctor. So kind. So perfect. (I feel sick writing that)

 

Many years later he was arrested and put on trial for a variety of offences.. My mum continued to insist that he was a 'good doctor'. I never told her any different. In fact I've only ever told one person about this.

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just roses

 

 

That wasn’t the guy in Tassie was it? If so, he was from my smallish (at the time) home town and is a similar age to my sister and I. I feel like I probably came across him in school days but we did move when I was mid way through high school so before we had much freedom to meet people from other schools.

No, this one was at the Gold Coast. And he was working elsewhere in the state at the time of his conviction. But it was around the same time as the Tassie case. Difference is, that one was made very public at the time and this one never was. Both involved actual convictions, though.

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Seven of Nine

Those poor kids. How awful!

 

It's a betrayal for you too. I'm sorry. Your friends may need more time to come to terms with who this man really is. I'm sorry a time that was happy for you has been tainted.

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Seven of Nine

I've never told anyone but our local GP molested me during a physical examination when I was in Year 7 - with my dad sitting in the other room. I didn't know or understand at the time that it was wrong but flat out refused to go to the doctor for anything for the next 4-5 years. My mum insisted that he was a lovely and gentle doctor. So kind. So perfect. (I feel sick writing that)

 

Many years later he was arrested and put on trial for a variety of offences.. My mum continued to insist that he was a 'good doctor'. I never told her any different. In fact I've only ever told one person about this.

 

I'm so sorry. How dare he. You didn't deserve that.

 

I was sexually assaulted many times as a teen and I've never told my parents either.

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luke's mummu

Thank you all for your concern. So many sad stories

 

I just spoke to another friend who flatted with the accused guy for a few months. He wasn't all surprised and said there were lots of teenagers from the church sleeping over at the house for various reasons. Which probably wouldn't be allowed today, but 25 years ago maybe parents weren't so aware.

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Tunip

I've never told anyone...

 

Ballogo, I rarely comment but needed to say how brave it was for you to tell us your story. I’m so sorry, not only that this happenened to you, but that you weren’t believed or understood by your mum. I sincerely hope that you’ve been able to find peace since.

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luke's mummu

I've never told anyone but our local GP molested me during a physical examination when I was in Year 7 - with my dad sitting in the other room. I didn't know or understand at the time that it was wrong but flat out refused to go to the doctor for anything for the next 4-5 years. My mum insisted that he was a lovely and gentle doctor. So kind. So perfect. (I feel sick writing that)

 

Many years later he was arrested and put on trial for a variety of offences.. My mum continued to insist that he was a 'good doctor'. I never told her any different. In fact I've only ever told one person about this.

 

Thank you to everyone for sharing, but a special thank you Ballogo.

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ballogo

I can't believe that I've actually said it. It's taken approximately 35 years for me to say that 'aloud'. It is still bewildering. Why did he do it? Why me? Why do these people do it?

 

Sorry to hijack you thread OP.

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PooksLikeChristmas

He did it because he could, he could abuse his position of power with you. You were meant to be safe and he abused that trust.

 

It was not in any way at all your fault. There is nothing about you that brought it on. You did nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with you.

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Mishu
I can't believe that I've actually said it. It's taken approximately 35 years for me to say that 'aloud'. It is still bewildering. Why did he do it? Why me? Why do these people do it?

 

I'm so sorry that happened to you. My father molested me as a young girl and the first time I spoke to someone about it was 35 years later too. I haven't said anything to my mother either.

 

Sometimes it takes time to get to the point where we can admit it to others.

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luke's mummu

I just wanted to update you all - the trial was to start this week. Last week the offender changed his plea to guilty. So there will be no trial, he will be sentenced in August 2020. At least 4 children and 1 young adult victims.

 

I have one friend who was booked to be a witness for the prosecution. He is disappointed to not get to have a say in court.

 

It's brought back all these strange feelings for me - I wonder if the offender really had a genuine faith in God, or was just using the whole church community to gain trust and access to underage boys?

 

I guess I'll never know, and it will be between him and God one day to sort out.

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JRA

Sometimes I see headings, like yours, "Something awful", and it turns out to be something like "I stubbed my toe" or something pretty pathetic.

 

This DOES NOT fit in to that category.

 

How terrible for you and all that have been around him. The soul searching now doubt that will occur "should I have seen", "why didn't I". It is a terrible thing that has happened, and sadly people who does these things are very very clever at not letting others know.

 

Ballogo. My heart goes out to you.

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Not Escapin Xmas

I just wanted to update you all - the trial was to start this week. Last week the offender changed his plea to guilty. So there will be no trial, he will be sentenced in August 2020. At least 4 children and 1 young adult victims.

 

I have one friend who was booked to be a witness for the prosecution. He is disappointed to not get to have a say in court.

 

It's brought back all these strange feelings for me - I wonder if the offender really had a genuine faith in God, or was just using the whole church community to gain trust and access to underage boys?

 

I guess I'll never know, and it will be between him and God one day to sort out.

 

Wow. Must really do your head in. Just on your friend who was going to be a witness, he might be able to make a statement re sentencing. Worth asking about?

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*Marty*

Hopefully your friend will be able to give a victim impact statement at the sentencing hearing.

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Rowenas necklace

I just wanted to update you all - the trial was to start this week. Last week the offender changed his plea to guilty. So there will be no trial, he will be sentenced in August 2020. At least 4 children and 1 young adult victims.

 

I have one friend who was booked to be a witness for the prosecution. He is disappointed to not get to have a say in court.

 

The teacher from my school (public) who was prosecuted did the same thing.

 

It makes me angry in a way - they put the victims and witnesses through the trauma of preparing for the trial, then at the last minute decide they'll get off lighter with a guilty plea.

 

Then the people they have traumatised and re-traumatised don't get the opportunity to have their voices heard. It almost feels like another abuse of their power.

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