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Jo.F

Am I starting too soon? 2.5yr old boy

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Jo.F

Hi. I'm just after some advice from the lovely people of EB. I've been trying on and off to TT my 2.5yr old DS.

 

He started watching me go to the toilet and would say "mummy doing wee or poo" and then would rip off a piece of paper for me to wipe myself with and always wants to flush the button so I thought he might be ready to start training.

 

So I've been putting him in undies and asking him if he wants to go to the toilet. Trying to show him how to do wees using his baby sheep (favourite teddy) and offering him rewards etc. He has done a few wees in the potty but it's come after a LOT of persuasion. He never tells me when he needs to do, just when he's had an accident.

 

Yesterday he didn't do any wees on there. He just held it all morning and waited until his afternoon nap, then woke up with a really wet nappy and didn't go on the potty again before bed time.

 

Today when I've asked him if he needs to do a wee he goes "NO POTTY... NO POTTY" and runs out the room.

 

So I'm wondering if he's not ready and I'm pushing him too much? His dad walked out on us in November and he is just now finally starting to settle down with sleep and he's not screaming hysterically when I leave him at child care so it's like he's adapting to the new 'normal' and I'm wondering if maybe it's too much to also add TT into the mix.

 

BUT... I also admit that I'm not in the right frame of mind at the moment. I've not handled his dad leaving very well at all and I'm constantly tired and emotional so I worry if I'm subconsciously telling myself he's not ready because I'm not ready. If that makes sense.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Riotproof

He's not ready. Leave the potty around, but put him back in nappies. Before he has a bath or shower in evening, you can offer it, but I'd wait a while because he seems upset. Keep it light hearted and fun.

 

My son loved the Toilet Time for boys book with a flush button. You can get them at Kmart bigw those kind of places.

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Lunagirl

I'm no expert (one child TT) but it doesn't sound like he's ready. And even if he was, you both need to be ready for something like this, so it's perfectly OK to wait until you're in a better mindset. You've both been through a lot, so please be kind to yourself.

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Luci

I would put it off for now and try again in 3 or 4 months. I agree with the above that it sounds like he isn't ready just yet.

 

I have 3 kids, all of whom I toilet trained on the late side of average. Girls around 2 years 9 months and DS around 2 years 11 months. I was very lucky (and I think there is a bit of luck involved in TT) and they were all very easy to train, which I think was because they were all ready to do it.

 

You mentioned he goes to childcare, they will be able to help you do it when you are ready, they are good with routines and reminding kids to go to the toilet etc.

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Jenflea

DD didn't TT till nearer to 4.

 

He'll be toilet trained by school, so don't stress.

And I never bothered with a potty, we did a step stool at the normal toilet with a smaller seat insert.

 

I was NOT cleaning out a potty, gross!

 

I was happy to do cloth nappies, but potties? pass lol

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Caribou

I think he’s close. The fact he was able to hold the wee for that long is a great indicator. I know a lot would disagree with me but there you go.

 

I’d be giving it least a week before giving up. Don’t pressure him but at the same time give it a go. Like say loudly I’m off to the loo! He can follow, mimic you on loo with his potty and then go yay!alldone now. Kind of thing.

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Lou-bags

Not ready.

 

He's telling you that. "no potty!". Believe him.

 

When he's ready, you will know, and it will take days. Not weeks. It's worth the wait, IMO. If nothing else to save the stress and the washing!

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marple

I'm a believer in waiting too. Otherwise there is just a lot of cleaning up to do and a lot of stress.

I'm like pp and never used a potty .

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Jo.F

thanks for the replies everyone. I asked him just now as I was going to change his nappy and he said "NO" then went over to the potty, slammed the seat down and walked off so I'm taking that as a "no, I'm not ready" and I'll try again another day.

 

thanks again.

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c.sanders

What's the rush??

 

He has the rest of his life to sit on the toilet.

 

Toilet training too young can actually cause a lot of ongoing problems for little kids

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Lou-bags

I love his spunk, Jo.F!

 

I bet when he’s ready he’ll be just as determined. Good on you, too, for listening to him and being open to allowing him to do it on his own timeline.

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Princess VFR

My mum and daycare insisted DD was ready at 2 yrs and 8 months. I wanted to wait, especially as i was trying to BF a newborn at that time.

 

We tried and failed. It stretched out for weeks and lots of accidents and washing, and lots of tears from both of us.

 

She finally got it by her 3rd birthday, and was night dry a few months later too.

 

I should have listened when she was telling me she wasnt ready. I trusted daycare as they said her nappies were always dry, but the problem was she was holding it until home time.

 

Make it fun, accept the no's, and try again in a few weeks or months. And let him pick out his favourite character undies from kmart or bigw when he is ready!

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needs to get out

Sounds like he is putting his point of view across pretty well! I understand second guessing yourself.

 

I left both DS1 and DS2 until they gave clear signs of readiness.

 

My tactic was getting them used to the idea of sitting on the toilet, various YouTube videos etc so they had a bit of a concept.

 

Then took their clothes away to see what happened! First time I tried with DS1 he didn't get it, I put his clothes back on within a couple of hours and tried again about a month later. He got it within a couple of hours that time.

 

DS2, first time I took his clothes away, he made a huge puddle and was so distressed. We didn't try again until about a month later, and he was fine that time too.

 

Both were just over three, and I was constantly torn between thinking I was being lazy etc by not pushing them harder. But both learned to toilet within a couple of days with barely an accident since.

 

DS3 is much keener on the toilet than the others were. At 2.5 I might try him in a couple of months. He loves to sit on the toilet whenever he gets changed, just as a bit of fun, No idea what to do when he gets there!

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EsmeLennox

My experience is that when kids are ready to TT, it occurs with a minimum of fuss (for most kids).

 

I pushed my eldest too hard, and he was the latest one of my three to train properly.

My middle boy just announced at about 2.5 that he wasn’t wearing a nappy anymore and trained himself in a matter of days. The youngest one was a little later... but before 3 years...maybe 2 yrs 9 or so months. The eldest, whose lead I *didn’t* follow was over three before properly trained.

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Franny and Zooey

What's the rush??

 

He has the rest of his life to sit on the toilet.

 

Toilet training too young can actually cause a lot of ongoing problems for little kids

 

By the time my kids were 2.5 I was totally over the whole nappy thing. Desperate to be done with them. Luckily they all seem to be ok with this deadline of mine! I sure wasn’t changing any more nappies.

 

My kids ran about naked at home a lot in summer, most of the time at home they were naked, I think that helped as well.

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sarahec

My little guy is same age and is very interested in it all, even asks to wear undies, but he’s not ready. Constant accidents. I’m leaving it until summer now.

 

My oldest son was much easier and tt at 2.5.

 

 

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Soontobegran

Parents with deadlines set themselves up for failure.

There is no deadline when it comes to toilet training.

Edited by Soontobegran
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SeaPrincess

I think he’s close. The fact he was able to hold the wee for that long is a great indicator. I know a lot would disagree with me but there you go.

 

I do agree with this. But also, IME, it is important for both the child and the parent to be ready for TT to be successful. If you’re not ready, leave it for a bit, or ease back - encourage him to sit before he gets dressed in the morning or before his bath, but don’t make a big deal of it.

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Staying Strange

I would leave a potty or 2 around the place and just let him go if/when he wants.

 

My 3 were all out of nappies (in the day) by 2 but all took very different approaches to it. Twin A didn't use the potty until she was ready to every time. Twin B started using it occasionally through the day and has gradually increases potty use to most wee s and our eldest was different again, with her never really taking to nappies so we did a modified version of elimination communication with her.

 

Be as relaxed about it as possible. Let your DS experiment with the potty, sit on it still in his nappy etc he'll get there. Good luck

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Veritas Vinum Arte

I found older than 3 my kids were compliant in TT. DS1 was 3.25yrs and went from nappies to fully dry in under 5 days, both day and night. Biologically he had been ready since 18m (long dry spells of nappy and nappy dry overnight), but not ready compliance wise.

 

DD TT herself at 24m..... for all of 8wks she was dry, before she decided she had had enough and didn't want to toilet anymore and refused to use the toilet for another 8m. She was perfectly capable, just didn't want to use the toilet and wet undies etc did not bother her.

 

So in my experience it is not just capabilities but child compliance too.

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Manicmum

I think if he can hold it that long, let him. If he does it all in his nappy at nap time, fine. Id also consider the toilet, its much more fun. I would just put him in underpants and not even ask about the potty, he may choose it or ask for a nappy. Give it 3 days and if it stresses anyone, put the nappy back on.

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Jenflea

AS PP my niece TT early, then decided because she'd mastered that skill she didn't need to use it anymore and regressed for ages.

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Jo.F

I love his spunk, Jo.F!

 

you should have seen the look on his face that went with it :laugh:

 

Thanks everyone for the tips.

 

I'm not trying to rush him out of nappies (although I can't wait to be done with them) I just thought he was showing interest and figured I'd try but he's clearly not ready. He's starting to tell me when he's done poos and he actually HAS so I'm hoping that's a start. I always ask him first thing in the morning, at nappy changes and before his bath if he wants to sit on the potty and it's a resounding NO.

 

I'll just keep asking him now and then and try again in a few weeks.

 

Thanks again :)

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Jo.F

Just thought I'd update this thread. He's now 3.5 and about a month ago he walked into the room and asked to wear undies. He never wore a nappy again from that moment apart from night time and he can't wait to have that taken off in the mornings.

 

Never had one single wee accident EVER. And only had 2 poo accidents. People keep telling me that when he was ready he'd just 'get it' and I wanted to believe it but really didn't think it would ever happen. But that's exactly what he's done.

 

So I just thought I'd let you all know how it worked out. Thank you all for the advice, we got there in the end!

 

xx

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JayPeePee

That is fantastic!! You give me hope.

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