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22Fruitmincepies

Sibling visiting after c-section

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22Fruitmincepies

DD is 3.5yo, and very excited about her new sibling. I’m booked in for a c-section on a Friday, and I have her booked in to daycare that day. I’m assuming all will go well and there are no complications for either of us, and if I stay the full 5 nights will be discharged on Wednesday.

 

I’m just wondering about her visiting - that afternoon or leave it to the next day? Will she be upset at leaving us in the hospital? Should she visit every day (my mum could probably bring her for a short visit on the Monday and Tuesday afternoons)? Any other things to think about with visits after a c-section?

 

She is so excited about the baby, but I suspect she will be a bit disappointed at how boring they are.

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rosie28

I had 2 year old DS in 2 hours after husbsister was born via c section- seriously the most beautiful thing seeing him meet her. He visited every day for a hour or two and spent time with my parents, my husband's parents and my husband alternating. He LOVED it.

 

Just be careful about her jumping on you- I had a pillow ready to pop over my tummy for cuddles and it was fine.

Edited by rosie28
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Hope28

DS1 was 22 months when DS2 arrived via c section. DS2 was born at 11am and DS1 visited about 3:30 or 4 that afternoon for an hour or so

 

He visited every day we were in hospital (sometimes twice if he was struggling/missing me), usually for an hour or so each time. Our hospital had a play room in maternity which was a great help, and we had a bag of books, pencils and paper, and quiet toys in the room for him.

 

Be careful with the incision though if you're cuddling her - DS1 accidentally bumped it a few times and it was very painful.

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PhillipaCrawford

Get her involved as soon as possible.

 

naturally tell her what will happen.

"While you are at CC mum will have the baby and then daddy will come and get you and you will stay until (tea time???) and then go home with....

The next day you will come back and visit.. and then go and...."

 

Don't forget you will want to see her too.

When No2 was born I was far more concerned at the effect on DS than the new arrival

 

But you are all family now and the quicker she sees and accepts the new addition the better

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Isolated Old Elf

Absolutely! It is pure magic.

Agree about protecting your wound carefully, have your DH or mother watching her carefully as you wont be able to move fast. Also, be aware of her sitting on the catheter or other lines that you may be hooked up to.

All the best for Friday!

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Gruffalo's Child

I would definitely have her visit on the first day, even if it’s just for half an hour or so. I think it will be so important to her to see you and her new sibling, and will help make everything real for her. I had my kids visit the day of my c-sections and they were a similar age. It was lovely to see their excitement, although they did get bored quickly. They also visited nearly every day, but only for 30 mins to an hour. And yes, be careful of her jumping on your tummy as PP said. Another tip, if it is manageable, is for you not to be cuddling the baby when she first arrives so you can focus all your attention on her.

 

I took in a packet of snakes and lots of colouring books, crayons and stickers, which helped entertain them during their visit.

 

Good luck! I hope the c-section goes well.

 

 

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rosie28

I agree with you not cuddling the baby- I read it somewhere and we did it. It's supposed to be good for the older sibling to meet the baby without mum holding them, but the main advantage I thought was that I got to watch the whole thing properly. We videoed it and it's a few minutes of him patting and kissing the baby before he looks up and sees me, he was mesmerised.

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22Fruitmincepies

Luckily it’s not this Friday! But way too soon.

 

We’ve been chatting about how I will go to the hospital so the doctor can help the baby come out (she has had zero questions about the manner in which this happens so I haven’t mentioned it), and that I will stay in the hospital for a little while until the baby and I are ready to come home.

 

My main thoughts about this baby are about DD, how she will go, how it will change our relationship.

 

I like the idea of having some entertainment for her.

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Future-self

We left it until the next day. Our situation was different in that we knew DD was going to be in NICU so it was important to us that everything else around it all was positive. I didn't want to risk being groggy or even out of it and I wanted the IV out and catheter out so I could cuddle DS properly and be active enough to take him to the NICU to meet DD.

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Bono25

We talked about it for months before hand. Ds was 2 and a half. My c sect was a 4pm,so I saw him in the morning and mum picked him up from day care that day. Dp ducked back to help read him stories and then came back to stay with me, it was too late in the day for him to visit. they came in first thing the next morning. I think he was more interested in running around the place than the baby :-)

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FretfulMum

DS1 was 2yrs old when DS2 arrived. He visited us in hospital the afternoon of my CS (10am) & it was totally fine! He was much more interested in eating the hospital food & sitting on my bed watching tv. He visited every day & had no problems leaving. It was quite a novelty for him as his nanna was at our house looking after him mostly

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l-m-n-o-p

My 20 month DD came in to meet her new brother the evening of a morning c-section. It was just a short visit and looking at the photos now she looks a bit freaked out, but my husband thought it was important.

 

Following that, she visited once or twice a day with DH or his parents bringing her in. We kept visits to an hour or less as she did get restless and I got tired. We had some activities and she would sometimes watch tv in my room.

Edited by l-m-n-o-p

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Oldbutnowbackagain

My 18month old came about 2 hours later. I had bought a new Tonga truck for him to play with and we had cuddles. He looked in the crib and went wow baby, then continued to play with his new truck. He came daily morning and afternoons. When he was there I focussed on him whilst my husband held our daughter. I asked him to get a wipe here and there in the hospital and he felt important

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Future-self

I also meant to say that DS was totally fine. Grandma and Grandpa were at our house with him the first night which he loved and then they bought him up the next morning ns then he came every day for an hour. Plus, we had organised a Thomas the tank train for every day that he visited to come from DD, he still talks about how DD gave him his trains :) I highly recommend the new baby giving gifts bribery

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WaitForMe

For us, DD1 came straight from childcare with grandma and had a cuddle with her new baby sister and her photo taken. I gave her a present from DD2 (a big girl watch), which I know some people roll their eyes at the idea but what child doesn't like getting presents. She insisted on reciprocating, so the next day DH took her shopping for a present for DD2.

 

We were always very matter of fact about what was going to happen, and in fact she actually assumed the baby would come out of a hole cut in my tummy, it blew her mind a little when I explained she had actually come out of my vagina!

 

She visited every day. I meant to bring some books or puzzles in so we could spend some one on one time together but things went a bit pear shaped and DD2 was born early so they got forgotten out. We didn't really need them but it would've been nice to have.

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a letter to Elise.

My oldest was almost 3 when DD was born. Seeing him meet her was so special. She was born in the morning, and he came that night for a short visit.

 

When DS2 was born, the kids were a bit older, 4 and 7. They knew what a c section was, and I thought they might be freaked out by the drip, drain, cathedar etc, so they came the next day after it was all taken out.

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Memly

DS1 was 3.5 when DS2 arrived. My c-section was late arvo so he didn’t visit until the next morning. He was excited about meeting DS2 but was a bit overwhelmed by seeing me in bed with the drip. He went to day care for a while and then came back in the arvo when we all had lots of cuddles! It was wonderful :)

 

I was quite worried about how he would cope with a sibling but it has honestly been amazing. He loves helping out and absolutely adores his little brother. There have been some tough times when he has wanted my attention and I’ve been breastfeeding etc, but our relationship is still just as special. He apparently wants another 10 brothers ha ha ha!!

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Soontobegran

I don't think there is a rule of thumb. Whether it be a vaginal or C/S delivery introduction of the new baby to a sibling should depend on what you know of the older child.

 

I have never heard about it being better if mum is not holding the baby...in fact I have heard the opposite but age and degree of understanding is what seems to impact that first meet.

 

I don't think we should overthink it but preparation beforehand if the child is able to understand is paramount.

 

Mine have been very young when the next one came along but it was never traumatic..( other than for the newborn who got poked ).

 

Good luck...it is special.

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*Andi*

DD was a bit over 2 1/2 when her sister was born. Caesar was in the morning and she came in during the afternoon visiting hours with grandparents. I had asked for her to be brought in so it was just the four of us at first, but the grandparents all got a bit excited and came in too. It meant it was a bit overwhelming for DD, with everyone trying to take her photo and videoing, so if there's a next time I will try to enforce that.

 

I had also read the idea if not holding the baby when she came in, so we had her in the bassinet for DD to go over and see first. She had cuddles on the chair too. The baby brought a toy with her for DD, and DD had chosen a toy for the baby.

 

She came in every day for short visits, always with someone there to watch her. She went down to the cafe for bubbaccinos with family members and I had colouring books for her. The tea ladies spoiled her too. I stuck to visiting hours, as even though they were flexible being a private hospital, I didn't want her making noise when people were trying to rest.

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BadCat

My 22 month old came in late on the same day if I remember rightly. Only stayed a short time. Might not have visited a second time, but that would be because I was only in the hospital for 2 nights.

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Ferelsmegz

I was in the same situation 10 years ago/

 

DS was 3.5, had DD via c-section at 3pm, their Dad went and picked him up a couple of hours later and brought him to the hospital to see DD and I - he knew what was going to happen and that he would be going home with Dad and we were staying. He loved seeing her. And it was all good. DD will be 10 on Tuesday :)

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NastyGal

My CS was over by 8.30am and my nearly 2.5 yo DD came in that afternoon to meet her new little sister, and then visited each day for about an hour or so until we came home five days later.

 

She wasn't all that interested in the baby either, but still to this day (8 years later) reminds me that she 'stole' my red jelly off the food tray and ate it. I can't believe she can remember something so minor that happened when she was 2yrs 4mths...although admittedly she still loves jelly! :-)

 

I also had heard about not holding the baby when DD came in. Actually I think the first time I ever read about that was when Prince William came in to meet Harry, and Princess Di made a point of not having Harry in her arms at the time (Yes, I'm old, and no, I couldn't give a rats about the royal family...but for some reason it always stuck in my mind!)

 

Good luck OP!

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