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blackroses

Finding a babysitter when I have anxiety about leaving DS with a complete stranger

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blackroses

I'm currently looking into finding a babysitter for occasionally during the week

 

All of the babysitting agencies I've so far looked at says they vet all babysitters which is good. But you can't meet them in advance, they just turn up on the day, which i don't like the idea of.

 

Other than the agencies, it just seems to be a matter of looking on sites like findababysitter or putting an ad on Facebook. This also makes me really anxious as there are no checks & balances. Meeting someone once doesn't necessarily give a good indication of what they are really like

 

No-one i know has a babysitter as they all have retired parents or mummy friends who they can leave their kids with

 

Daycare doesn't do occasional care & none of the staff there do babysitting, i have asked.

 

I have anxiety & i struggle to leave my son with a complete stranger

 

What is the best way to find a babysitter?

 

I need to find one fairly soon as otherwise i have no idea what we are going to do for our 12 week scan after Easter unless we are able to get it on a daycare day

Edited by blackroses

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Grrrumbles

Book someone from a site like Find a Babysitter who lives nearby and has good availability for the times you are likely to use them. First time get them to come for a few hours while you do jobs around the house. You will get a feel for them and they will have a chance to ask about your specific preferences. A regular person will be easier for your son to get used to, even if it is not often.

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blimkybill

Ease into it with someone. The first few times just use them as a mothers help while you are in the house. Then start going out for a short period, then when you are confident you can go for longer.

This would be someone through Find a Babysitter or similar, ie a local person. You can also talk them through what they should and would do in various kids of tricky situations.

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SeaPrincess

You could post in your state forum. Perhaps someone here could recommend someone. Some of the school mums use my after-school babysitter on weekends.

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fascinated

Can you ask your daycare if they do extra days when you need them? Also do you know that there are other daycare centres that only do occasional care?

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blackroses

Can you ask your daycare if they do extra days when you need them? Also do you know that there are other daycare centres that only do occasional care?

 

Daycare is at capacity, i have asked.

 

The only occasional care places i have found so far are on the south side. I'm on the Northside & don't drive so this would involve a huge trip on multiple buses/trains which I don't fancy. I'll keep looking though.

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RichardParker

How old is your eldest? Will s/he sit in the pram with a phone or iPad for the duration of the scan? That's what I did for most of my appointments with the 2nd.

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harryhoo

You can take your DS to the appointment - just take something to keep them entertained. It's not ideal but you are allowed to take siblings.

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liveworkplay

I have no solution but just wanted you to know you are not crazy for not wanting to leave your child with someone you don't know. Besides a daycare centre (which had a distant relative working at it anyway) I have never left my kids with strangers. I'm a pretty laid back person but just couldn't. I took my kids with me or used a trusted friend or (when we moved back to our home state) family. My kids are 13, 11 and 7 and still never been looked after by a stranger.

 

Is there a reason he can't go with you to your appointment? My DD's came to all of my appointments and scans with DD3.

Edited by liveworkplay
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ekbaby

With the agency are they willing to give you a regular person? Or are they saying it will be a different person each time? If a regular person I would try the agency first. Maybe they would be more able to do the same person each time if it's a regular booking eg every Monday for a half day? (or similar)? Otherwise try having them hang around with you there for the first time, and check all their references

 

Lots of mums need to take siblings to antenatal appointments. I know a lot of places don't prefer it, but many families don't have a choice. We took siblings along, but my partner was there too. Partner (and 2yo) came in to have a look at the baby and then all the boring measurement parts they went outside for.

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Sparklearkle

Does your partner also plan on attending the appointment? If so, perhaps the older child could be taken out of the room by him if he becomes disruptive.

 

I totally understand not wanting to leave your child with a stranger!

 

Are there not any occasional care centres where you live? Do gym crèches require you to be in the building when your child is there? (Probably..just trying to think of alternatives!!)

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OrchidFlower

Could you ask other parents at day care for a recommendation?

That said, I had my 4 yo and 2 yo with me, solo, when I did the swab test at about 36 weeks, it was umm, interesting !

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c.sanders

I took ds1 and ds2 to most of my scans. It was lovely to have them involved and they enjoy it a lot too! It's amazing what a 2yo can understand. Anyway...the hospitals and all my appointments were very understanding about taking kids. It's a part of life. Most places had a kids corner or pencils and paper for kids etc.

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Caribou

I feel you with aniexty. I felt much the same with DD. I agree, ease into it. Start off with you there, go For a walk for an hour and come back, and simply keep your distance and see how they go.

 

Funnily enough I rarely used a baby sitter and I had to get one for DD who's 5! We used our next door neighbour who DD adores. I fretted endlessly, but got home six hours later to a well fed kid speaking German! (Neighbour is German) she had a blast.

 

It's hard the first few times, it does get easier, I promise.

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mumofsky

I felt the same with my foster DD - she's 23 months but has had the occasional babysitter here and there for some time. Due to her special needs I was very nervous - I knew she could test anyone out and wasn't willing to risk it on a less experienced sitter. I rang Dial an Angel and asked for a very experienced carer - this came at a higher price but they offered me a lady who had been with them for 17 years and had cared for many many infants with great references.

 

She turned out to be amazing, but I wouldn't proceed if an agency wasn't willing to spend the time on the the phone with me talking about my worries - I would regard that as a bad sign. The other people who care for her are 2 of the daycare girls who know her very well and have strategies for her meltdowns etc, but I know you don't have that option.

 

I would just persist with agencies - find a babysitter can work and I've used it with my own daughter when she was 5, but I wouldn't use it with a sole child who was younger, personally. It's just hit and miss.

 

Word of mouth is great, if you know anyone else who uses a sitter but I think you said you don't. Good luck!

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Gateaugirl

Book someone from a site like Find a Babysitter who lives nearby and has good availability for the times you are likely to use them. First time get them to come for a few hours while you do jobs around the house. You will get a feel for them and they will have a chance to ask about your specific preferences. A regular person will be easier for your son to get used to, even if it is not often.

 

I did this. I actually just wanted someone to occupy DD while I did things, but now I have a trusted sitter if I need one.

 

Otherwise, do you know any responsible teenagers? I get occasional sitting from a lovely girl in my area who I know relatively well.

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Charli73

I had the same problem and I had one of the childcare staff who finished early to come to my place for an hour after work.. hopefully they can help you out too..

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Bugster

Asl local mums for recomendations. My nanny came via word of mouth. I checked her police record and WWWC plus verified references. She came over to meet us twice once for us to chat once to watch routine before starting full day with the kids.

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wannabe30

Like PPs I had a uni student come over and play with DS while I was there. After a few visits I started to duck out for short periods of time until I was comfortable leaving her in charge for a longer period.

 

You could try advertising at a local uni. I found a teaching student and a nursing student - for some reason I felt better knowing that they had chosen to study in kid-focussed fields.

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Overtherainbow

We took our chn to the scans. DH didn't get to go to all the 12 weeks scans due to work. Younger ones would be in their pram out of the way.

 

I've used an agency once. I was nervous but didn't have any other options. The kids liked the person.

 

If money is available, I'd try and get someone to babysit while you're home and once you feel comfortable, duck out for short times, building up to longer times.

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lizzzard

Would it make you feel more comfortable to have an agency babysitter accompany you and DD to the appointment and then just stay with her in the waiting room while you're having the scan?

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