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Anony Mouse

No lifting when you have a toddler

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Anony Mouse

Hi EB

 

I'm due to have my 2nd child by c-section in a couple of weeks. My DD will be 2 at the time, and regularly demands to be carried for comfort and often necessity due to her being too small to do a bunch of things. I recall when she was born being told not to lift anything heavier than the newborn for 6 weeks post birth. My DH will be off work for about 3 weeks, but I'm stuck for what I will do for the next 3 weeks recovery period when he is back at work.

 

Can anyone offer any practical ideas for how to manage a clingy 2 year old when you're not supposed to lift them? Eg what do I do at meal times (she is currently in a high chair), or when she refuses to go up / down stairs by herself etc? I really can't see how to realistically get through a day without lifting her.

 

Thanks in advance,

AM

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wannabe30

I didn't have a c-section but I did have surgery after DD was born and couldn't lift her or 2yo DS. I hired a local teenager to be a mother's help - she spent the day with me and lifted the kids (eg into high chair, onto change table, etc) and did any other bending things I couldn't do. She also took DS on short outings (eg. park) and generally gave him attention when I couldn't.

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rosie28

I had my husband home for the first 4 weeks, but I also made sure DS knew beforehand that we would have what I called "couch cuddles" with me sitting down. I also bought a step stool so he could wash him hands, go to the toilet and even climb into his cot by himself. The car was the main problem- lucky I couldn't drive either!

 

I had him expecting to go up and down stairs by himself well before DD was born, he was in training!

 

In hospital and just after I got home I made sure I had a pillow with me so I could put it over my tummy in case he got a little enthusiastic.

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Datrys

Given that you'll be recovering from major surgery, is there no possibility of your DH having some carer's leave after the usual parental leave?

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Anony Mouse

Hi Ange, DH is predominantly self employed so sadly not. Thanks everyone for the suggestions so far. Sounds like I should use the next couple of weeks trying to train DD.

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needs to get out

DS1 was 17 months when DS2 was born. I had already taught him to go up and downstairs by himself.

 

DP stayed home for ages, maybe 5 weeks. My parents also came over to help with a lot of the care and lifting of other stuff.

 

It is surprising how helpful DS1 was with everything, he understood very quickly that I could not lift him, but I was happy for him to climb on me for a cuddle etc.

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l-m-n-o-p

I had DS when DD was 20 months.

 

You just have to get her used to the idea that you cannot carry or lift her - I would start now!

 

Instead of a highchair, you can picnic on a rug or we used a kids table and chair.

 

Take help when it is offered and, if it is an option, a mother's helper is great idea. We had one come a couple of hours two or three times a week to help out.

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lucky 2

I had to train DD to climb up on my lap from a very young age as I have a back injury and couldn't lift her. I could help her up a bit.

If she was injured or upset when we were out in public I would sit on the floor and hug her.

Though I can imagine that would be difficult too.

 

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a letter to Elise.

Start practicing now. Talk about mummy being very sore, and I can't carry you, but I'll hold your hand. Ask for help picking things up off the floor because you can't bend etc. get a step stool, and a kids table and chairs for meals helps a lot.

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Pooks_

Not a csec but couldn't lift for other health reasons for most of my pregnancy. I bought cheap toddler steps and had them next to my armchair, his bed, the bath etc, taught him to climb into his car seat, etc. We did cuddles while I was seated and spent time lying in my bed together. I bought a little stool from kmart so I could sit next to the bath and help kind of slide him in and out of it.

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Lunafreya

Try stairs right now. My toddler has been doing steps almost since he can walk and can donthem by himself under supervision but prefers to have his hand held. He says "step, step" as he goes because thats what I did when I taught him. He can also crawl upstairs when he has to.

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needs to get out

I think the OPs child *can* do stairs, but is a 2 year old, and they don't always just do what we want them to do. Or mine don't anyway ;)

 

I found at 2 I could get away with a few instant gratification type bribes (read: chocolate) for dire situations where compliance was required. As long as you save it for the right moments, it can be effective.

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Bird1

Oops I wasn't very good at following orders. I started picking up my toddler the day I got home from hospital. Didn't do any damage to myself. I was very careful

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Elsegundo

I had an almost 3 year old when my second was born via caesar. I found the last few weeks I had to stop carrying him around as much anyway so we kind of worked out some shortcuts. He had a stool in the bathroom he used for toilet training that he could also use to climb in and out of bath, clean teeth, wash hands etc. We made steps to his bed and bed out of books and pillows. We had another stool in the kitchen that he used to get into his high chair or the pp suggestions of using kids table. The stairs are hard, especially when people are tired or upset. Have a look at how you do things now and when you need to go up and down. I set up a second change area downstairs, stashed some clothes and books downstairs, took snack packs when we went to play upstairs etc to try and limit the need to go up or down . If your cot is upstairs, you can rent those hospital bassinet things for 6 months too so baby doesn't need to go upstairs during day. That was the best tip I received! And word up some friends/neighbors that they might need to help. My neighbors stepped in and drove us to gp once when needed urgent booking,and carried ds1 into the doctors then held baby outside, then drove us home. Then they asked me about ds1 naptimes and for 2 days came around at each time he needed to go up to bed and carried him up the stairs (he had tonsillitis). Seriously the best neighbors ever. Hope it all goes smoothly for you.

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Anony Mouse

Thanks everyone, all the replies are very helpful.

 

For there record DD *can* go up and down stairs, just refuses to sometimes (often). We'll get there though :)

 

EFS

Edited by Anony Mouse

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nup

I could kneel down and give hugs. It's still my preferred method rather than lifting. For cuddles we sit or lay down. I don't remember here being any problems. I think there's sn instinctive guarding that we do and hopefully you can find what works for you fairly quickly

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