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Feeling sad

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Hi ladies,


I'm new here (just found this page!)


We have a nearly 3 year old who we conceived naturally after 3 months but found that my husband has very low sperm count when trying to conceive #2. I've had 3 rounds of IVF/ICSI with 3 transfers (currently have 2 frosties on ice) and i'm beginning to lose hope. In TWW now but dr not confident as this one only just thawed.


Just wondering how you guys keep positive in the face of constant failures? Our first cycle only got 2 eggs, both fertilised with one transfer at day 2 (BFN). Second 8 eggs, 6 fertilised, one transfer at day 3 (BFN). Last cycle in early december had 12 eggs, 8 fertilised and 4 frozen at day 6. The best one from that crop didn't survive thaw and the dr has said the other 2 remaining aren't great quality and feels like IVF may not work for us. That seems really premature to me as our cycles have been getting better and this is only transfer 3. I have no idea if I should be optimistic or pessimistic about our chances. The fact that we have a child already should be in our favour though shouldn't it?


I had a massive breakdown last night when it occurred to me that I may never again be pregnant, breastfeed or any of those things that I just didn't appreciate at the time. Never in a million years did I think we would be in this position (though I acknowledge that we are luckier than most doing IVF as we already have a child).


Anyway, just wondering if I'm completely bonkers or if these feelings are normal?



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To stay positive, I would concentrate on the fact that you have managed to have a successful pregnancy before, so it is definitely not impossible to have another one.


Maybe it would be worth seeing a different specialist/ getting a second opinion?


IVF is such an emotional rollercoaster ride, regardless of whether you already have children or not.

I think what you are feeling is very normal.

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Otis the Pug

Sorry you are feeling so down. IVF is tough, there is so much goong on each time you do a cycle. Im surprised your Dr is so negative. He/she ahould be encouraging.


I've been lucky to have a son after 6 cycles, one of them a miscarriage. So I know what the IVF roller coaster is like. Each cycle you've got to think positive thoughts. Especially "it will happen this cycle." I dont know if you are religious or not. But I found lots of Bible quotes useful, like "I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.". I know it gets tougher in the 2ww. But you've got to keep up hope.


Not in a million years did I think that my DH and I would have to do IVF. But its part of our journey, and it makes you strong in character. Each cycle things are improving, I think that shows a lot of hope.


Good luck! I hope this is the one.

Edited by Otis the Pug

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