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Mary S

Pregnancy after complications- too old now?

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Mary S

hi everyone

 

So I had Polyhydramnious (excess amniotic fluid) with my second pregnancy. After a rollercoaster of tests, high risk birth etc our babe is fine but about 2.5 years later my back (as a result of damage due to these complications) is finally getting better. Im certain I had pnd too - things were just rock bottom.

 

crazy enough, I am doing much better and am thinking of maybe having another bub. but a i pushing my luck? my two kids get on so well. I guess I am feeling the biological clock. would 3 in the mix be bad. I would rather have 4 kids but unless i have twins not sure if i could do it another 2 times! I am almost 40

 

I am very unfit and rather overweight. my husband said we can't even think about it till I work on my back more, and he get fitter too.

 

The thought of having more bubs makes me really happy, but when I am up int eh middle of the night I find it mighty hard (if one of my two kids wakes up!).

 

what are your thoughts mums?

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NeedSleepNow

My initial suggestion would be to consult a high risk specialist to discuss the risks and management of another pregnancy and delivery. If you saw a specialist/health care professional about your back then I'd also have an appointment with them to discuss the potential impact. 2.5 years is a very long recovery, so I'm guessing it would be hard to really make an informed decision without understanding potential health complications.

 

We are also debating whether to have another baby, knowing it would be a high risk pregnancy, so I can empathize with where you are at

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opethmum

Due to your age, I would go for it, you don't want to regret not trying, you only have a limited amount of time to do this.

 

I am sure with the right ob and care plan in place that you can do it. Your youngest is of an age that they can help you out and be more self sufficient to do things on their own should you become pregnant.

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Holidayromp

Every pregnancy is different just because your previous pregnancy was problematic does mean subsequent ones will be. Also the fact that you are getting better means your body is well on the road to recovery and a pregnancy cannot be ruled out,

The best way to take some pressure off your back is to loose some of the excess weight and get DH on the same plan.

I would definitely give a time frame - six months to achieve then ttc.

Fertility is very individual so I wouldn't be too concerned. I conceived a month after my 40th. Also I am sure I wouldn't have problems conceiving again (I'm 42) but DH and I are done - our family is now complete.

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Mary S

hi ladies. thanks for your replies. it is such a hard decision .I am off to a back specialist on Friday. I would really like more children, but also the thought of those late nights and sleep deprivation are a scary! but yes, main concern is health.

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needs to get out

I am 42, fat and unfit with a newborn, 2yo and 3yo.

 

Very doable. I found pregnancy harder than these first few weeks of sleep interruption. Admittedly DP has been home on leave the whole time so far.

 

Talk to your doctors, good luck.

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Mary S

hi.

well my husband and I had a big chat tonight, and he is now open to it. As someone else on her suggested , we are going to book in to a Obs (who delivered our first bub - no drama one!) and talk to her about if it is an option. so I don't get my hopes up for nothing!

 

also, I am wondering, considering I am older, would she put me on a special vitamins or something to boost fertility? be great to have twins, as crazy it sounds with my background, but then we would have our family of 4 :)

 

am feeling more optimistic about things, thanks for the replies ladies. also, I don't suppose anyone knows if you have pnd once what are the chances of getting it again...?

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!momo!

Good luck with your journey TTC. As you are older your risk of having twins is already higher. I would be very concerned with any OB that would knowingly try and increase the risk of a twin pregnancy. I know twins seem like a cute idea but a twin pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy and that is not even considering your back issues and previous complications. Sorry to be a bit blunt but this is something that is a bit close to me given that we lost our twin boys in August this year, granted they were identical twins, so totally out of our control and with more risks than fraternal twins, but any twin pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy and I wouldn't wish the outcome we had on anybody,

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Mary S

I am very sorry for your loss. that would be incredibly difficult. I also lost a bub, but I think losing twins would be harder . I hope you have some good support around you.

I would like 4 kids, but i know my body couldnt go through another two pregnancies. Twins do run in our family a little (my dad, my cousins on my mum s side) so I guess I grew up wanting twins also.

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Tinky Winky Woo

I guess having suffered immensely during my pregnancies and been so sick for so very long after the last one, there is no way I could or would go back for a 3rd one. This is my own opinion and having a very high risk pregnancy the last time, been violently ill for 40 weeks, and taking almost 4 years to recover properly has turned me off.

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luke's mummu

Good luck with your journey TTC. As you are older your risk of having twins is already higher. I would be very concerned with any OB that would knowingly try and increase the risk of a twin pregnancy. I know twins seem like a cute idea but a twin pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy and that is not even considering your back issues and previous complications. Sorry to be a bit blunt but this is something that is a bit close to me given that we lost our twin boys in August this year, granted they were identical twins, so totally out of our control and with more risks than fraternal twins, but any twin pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy and I wouldn't wish the outcome we had on anybody,

 

Yes I have to agree with you. Our IVF specialist was very against a 2-embryo transfer, even though I was 38 and would have loved twins. The risk of miscarriage, and pregnancy complications is a lot higher than a single pregnancy.

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Mary S

thanks for all the replies. I have realised that although I would like to have a big family, (well another one for me!) I doubt I cld do it without so much support, both mentally and physically. My husbands job is up in the air, we are both overweight, under stress and still have pnd issues. I shall adopt my attitude to enjoy the two awesome kids I have. I am also going to sell off the remaining baby stuff so i don't have to see it and think 'what if'! I think my hubby is having doubts to since my back is still so bad and i still have days where I find it very difficult to have the kids by myself. thnaks again for replies.

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Natttmumm

I think back to the newborn days and try to focus on what's its really like and how we would cope. I know that's the pessimistic view but for me that's the reality of a newborn, baby, toddler, pre-schooler etc.

 

We did go for 3 with some complications but only after seeing 2 specialists in the area and both convincing me the risks were very low to have any issues with that. I ended up with 3 without issues relating to that condition.

 

I know I couldn't do that again but I know others with higher risks are happy to go for even 2 more without worrying.

 

We each have a limits and personal circumstances to deal with so its such a personal thing.

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