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The Awesome One

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Chaotic Pogo

FMM, that is really a rock and a hard place.

 

You're basically saying you don't trust them either way, plus a dose of freaking out with the CS medical bits. I had a really bad experience with my first but it was all the medical bit, pain, mental confusion, baby in trouble, not the staff iykwim. The support I received was good and so I had no fears about that the next time.

 

A pro you mentioned for CS is baby safe and sound. If you are looking at it as equally bad either way for you, does looking at it that way help at all?

 

Can you ask for a GA for CS? Don't know if it would be easier for you - EPI and GA are both kind of freaky when you think about them, which is why I'd rather not.

 

Can you get anyone to stay with you when you get home and DH goes back to work? To make sure DS2 isn't too boisterous?

I wish I could say something helpful :(

 

Xena, how is Wiilow Jane? Hope you are enjoying some quiet time together those first few days so precious!

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The Awesome One

Yeah it really does feel that way, I did try to get into a different hospital, but they wouldn't take me as I was out of zone (why on why didn't I get maternity cover on my health insurance). I am leaning more towards the c-section at the moment, will probably feel different tomorrow lol. I see the midwife tomorrow so will go over it all again with her, see what she says.

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Chaotic Pogo

 

Any chance you can get a particular midwife you like assigned to you because of your stress about it? Even if informally? Did you connect with any of them? I realise that would really only work for a planned CS, as her roster prob won't match otherwise. I'm scraping the bottom of the barell for ideas. :(

 

What happens if someone in labour just rocks up at another hospital? Do they just send you away? It must happen occasionally?

 

 

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The Awesome One

I'm not sure what would happen, my luck I'd be sent away to my local lol.

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The Awesome One

had a different midwife today as my normal one is on holiday, waste of time, no comfort what so ever, tried to explain how stressed this is making me and she just told me not to stress and to let my body do it's thing. If I could stop stressing about it don't you think I would. grrrr.

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Chaotic Pogo

Not to stress and let your body do its thing?! Gee that's great advice (not) when the whole point is you tried that and they let you down, that's why you're stressed!

 

I don't know, but a CS is at least planned, predictable etc, even if the aftercare sucked. You've still got time to decide though, 4 weeks before they'd be willing to do a CS I think. How often do you see the midwife now?

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*maddierose*

Oh FMM I don't envy your decision. Sounds like you have very valid pros and cons for each. How long until you have to decide?

 

I was meant to have a midwife appointment today but she cancelled as she was at a birth all night. So now see her next week. I have a growth scan tomorrow as my last son was only 2.6 kgs full term but healthy. But because of my thyroid issues it can cause low birth weight and they think my son stopped growing earlier.

 

Feeling extremely exhausted after 4 days of early shift. One more to go.

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The Awesome One

in 2 weeks (so 36wks) I see my dr and if I want a c-section will get booked in then. I am thinking a c-section might just be the better of the two purely from a stress point of view, atleast I will have a plan in place then, it's just I feel like I could do a VBAC, I simply do not have any trust in the hospital (I think some of it is that this is my little miracle baby, I keep expecting something to go wrong, or have someone shake me awake and go sorry you imagined the whole thing there is no baby, does that make sense?)

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**Xena**

FMM in an ideal world with the best care what would you like? Maybe if you could write out a detailed plan and go over it with your carers you might feel better? It's really hard when you're being so poorly supported :(

 

Sorry, have been completely caught up in baby gazing :D I am so enjoying doing the newborn thing again. Here she is:

11247896_10153062715983507_4261213535763379760_n.jpg?oh=1999f2e2de7f7c002717d054c015ee3d&oe=56283525&__gda__=1445772775_aaf9242bb82174f601f8b770dab5c8e0

 

And the family:

 

11695929_10153061007333507_5620350919649578286_n.jpg?oh=9cdf02c9e9fd070577787252c8fa2261&oe=56568CAF&__gda__=1445080682_9a4e6a7055bbf1a0897011767b29b131

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bubba boo

Aww Xena she is beautiful. Such a great reminder of what us waiting have to look forward to, thank you.

 

 

 

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The Awesome One

shes beautiful :D Congratulations again

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*maddierose*

Oh Xena: she is just beautiful.

 

FMM: totally makes sense. After my losses last year I have found it really hard to imagine actually bringing a baby home and I keep expecting something to go wrong.

How was your first birth? Did you labour well?

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The Awesome One

first birth was induced, but labour was fine, 8ish hrs, no complication, about an hr of pushing.

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Chaotic Pogo

 

Xena, she's gorgeous. And I see a real family resemblence in that photo! How are you going now you are home? Am looking forward to having mine in my arms, 34 hours to go!

 

MR how did the last early day go? Are you still FT this week? I don't envy you at all.

 

FMM, is it a new dr or one you know/like? Can you try making ( very diplomatically) the point that actually, your stress is not about the birth or medical details, but that that your last delivery in this hospital left you feeling very stressed and unsupported because of certain things that staff did and didn't do, which is making it very hard for you to give your trust 'to the system' whichever way you choose? Maybe the Dr will have some kind of ideas, it can't be totally uncommon. You just don't want to provoke a defensive reaction. If the Dr can just build your tryst and make sure someone us there for you, I sense you'd prefer to try vbac at this point?

There is nothing as precious, unlikely or beautiful as your very own newborn baby, totally get the 'is this for real' feeling.

 

Have hung 2 windows of my new curtains that arrived today, mental note don't ever do that again when 38w, I'm exhausted! But the windows feel warmer already. DH can do some more tomorrow.

Finished drying baby clothes and wraps. going to finish packing my bag and make sure there's storage on the phone for photos, then it's off to hospital at 5am on Monday! Wonder if DS and DD plan to let me sleep tonite or tomorrow nite?

 

 

 

 

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**Xena**

Only one more sleep.CP :D:wub: Good luck trying to sleep tonight. I was so excited I only got about 2 hours the night before :lol:

 

Willow is such an easy baby and going back after a bigger gap has been so lovely. My other 3 aren't so dependant on me so I can spend as much time as I need cuddling and feeding her. They love her too which is nice to see. My daughter loves being a big sister :D

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*maddierose*

Oh CP how exciting, good luck tomorrow I hope it all goes beautifully.

 

Yes I'm still working full time. Meant to be until 37, so another 5 weeks. I'm thinking of asking to cut back days.

 

Xena: I'm so glad you are doing well. I loved having a big gap with #2 & #3 so much great bonding time with baby. Enjoy every minute.

 

I had a growth scan on Friday and bubs AC is measuring very low and may be an indicator of IUGR. Seeing my gp tomorrow for proper report and will send it to my midwife.

Edited by *maddierose*
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The Awesome One

I've had the same dr for all my babies, I've explained to him how I feel and he's pretty much said the choice is mine, but it's a public hospital, they can't asure me that I will have a midwife that I already know and trust in the room with me. I am thinking a c-section more and more now, the amount of stress and anxiety I'm dealing with right now over this is insane, DH is worried I'm getting depressed with it all and I'm starting to wonder if he's right. I'm going to talk with my Dr about it one more time and if I'm still not reassured about going VBAC will choose a c-section, I'd much rather a planned c-section than me freaking out during labour and ending up with an emergency one.

 

Good Luck CP, enjoy those newborn cuddles :D

Edited by Feral Madam Mim
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Chaotic Pogo

Delighted to welcome baby James Peter, 3.76 KG (8 lb 4 oz) at 8:32 AM Monday morning !

 

Baby is in perfect health and giving delightful snuggles.

 

Mum is a little tired by comparison to previous deliveries, but overall doing pretty well – recovery is perhaps 24 hours slower than usual . But I am really really hopeful I will get off the crutches shortly after we get home!

 

FMM, for what it's worth, I am really glad it was a c section! A trial of labour and emergency CS would have been a bad idea for me given my slow recovery progress... Having said that, I am fortunately receiving simply amazing care from the midwives... Sorry if that's not too helpful to you, but I have been thinking of you while offline. I Don't know what emoticon to use here? Sorry I'm babbling

 

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**Xena**

Congratulations CP :wub: Hope you are up and about more easily soon and your recovery starts to go more quickly!

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The Awesome One

Congratulations CP, hope you're up and about soon.

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*maddierose*

Congratulations CP, beautiful news.

I hope you have a speedy recovery.

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The Awesome One

Soooo tired lol, up 3 times last night to pee, bub was in a bad position so couldn't lay on either side, meaning I was stuck on my back alllll night so woke every time I tried to turn in my sleep, thankfully at some stage this morning he moved again so I'm all good now lol.

 

I have to make my decision by this Thurs :( I dunno why I'm so freaked this time, part will be hormones I guess, but the rest just feels like I'm crazy, its not like ive never done this before, I just have this insane crazy fear that I'm not going to be bringing a baby home, I can't get rid of it, I've made it through the past couple of weeks by simply not thinking about it, but with my next appointment looming I feel the panic setting back in. I need to get him out, feel him safe in my arms before I will believe that he's safe, mine and that he's coming home with me.

 

I'm going to end up back on antidepressants if I can't get past this, I know I am, I recognise the signs, and I'm pretty good at getting back on my meds when I need to before I completely lose it, but I don't want them while pregnant or breast feeding.

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*maddierose*

Oh FMM, I know exactly how you feel. This pregnancy has been really hard emotionally for me (last year I had 3 miscarriages) and this time I put up this wall I think to protect myself and have just expected something to go wrong and still feel as though it will. Especially this last week with ultrasound issues.

At times I feel like I haven't bonded enough with baby because of my fear and anxiety.

 

I hope you can come to a decision you feel 100% comfortable with. Good luck.

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The Awesome One

remember how I got all my appointments out of the way so that I could just relax for the last few weeks, well that was until I got a letter stating DS2 has an OT review this week lol, bugger bugger bugger, feel so bad, he missed 2 days of the last week of school last term due to appointments and will now miss half a day on their first week back too lol. Oh well, best to do it now than afterwards. Wish me luck for Thursday.

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Chaotic Pogo

Sorry for being offline so long! By day 3 I wasn't feeling so well and we spent 6 nites in hospital after I had a couple days of bad nausea, no food, and TMI nothing else working either. Most likely it was the CS causing it all, on the other hand I simply don't think my body would have started labour or been able to deliver, I was a lot weaker than I thought after a fairly tough pregnancy. The midwives looked after me well though, I couldn't carry baby myself until day 5, they changed every nappy, handed him to me in bed for every feed.

 

Baby is just fine and I'm now at home, walking with one crutch (baby in other arm) and thinking it might not be too long before can ditch it too, I'm thinking when the CS stitches have healed a little. :)

 

The kids adore him which is lovely and DS has mostly stopped screaming the house down every night since I got back, she missed me ( 2yo). He's sleeping beautifully so far and tbh it would be easy to forget he's here, nothing like as difficult as the first!

 

FMM,I hope you can decide tomorrow what you will do! It's very hard not being able to control the situation no matter which way you go.

It's a really stressful time and from your signature to be getting #4 'easily' in comparison must be making you look for the pitfall!

I totally understand not wanting to be on meds, but I've just had the maternal health nurse here today drilling me that the mum has to come first cos everyone else depends on her! So, you have to come first and there are meds that are perfectly safe if you need them! There will soon be 4 relying on you to be fit and well! And I do wish you good luck for Thursday! And that DS appointment goes well and is out of the way for you!

 

MR I hope things are going well for you and you are able to start cutting back at work! The feeling that something could go wrong is hard to overcome, I had 3 mc before my first and it was hard to believe he arrived, perfect, and no problems other than a rotten labour experience ie he was totally perfectly healthy on delivery! I don't think it felt real til I started getting sleepless nights with him! Holding him didn't feel believable even. I hope the U/s turns out to be nothing.

Xena, I'm really enjoying the newborn cuddles!

Bubbaboo hope you are well too

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