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Nofliesonme

Sharing rooms

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Nofliesonme

What age did your kids share until? I'm over people telling me I'm doing my oldest daughters some form of injustice by making them share. We have no option and 95% of the time they want to share.

 

We are waiting on approval for an extension from the governing authority but they could say no and it could be years away.

 

So looking at what we have now.

 

Currently DD1(8yo) shares with DFD(2yo) and DFS (4mnths old) the 4mnth old will move out when he gets into a bed

 

DD2 (6yo) shares with DS1 (almost 4yo)- this is the most Harmonious room in the house as they get along. I tried the other combinations and it didn't work.

 

DS2 shares with.... 2 other FC who will

Be going back in a few weeks.

 

Long term plan will be to have DS2 and DFS and belly bub share as it's the biggest room in the house. Short term while cots are involved they will be in our room and DD1s room.

 

No ones sleep is interrupted. Every child is asleep by 7.30pm and at this point in time each child will be sharing until they leave home. We aren't moving and can't afford to extend ourselves.

 

Please tell me other kids shared until they left home. When DD1 and DD2 get old

Enough there is the option for them to move Into the guest house. Which is 6 metres from the house.

 

Thoughts please

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GlitterFarts

If it works, then there's no problem!

 

Seriously, this 'thing' where every child Must Have Their Own Room is a fairly recent phenomenon in my opinion. When I was growing up, it was considered 'richie rich' to have your own room (from the same gender)

Heck, in many places, kids bedshare until they move out! Let alone have their own room!

 

Life is about compromise and working out how to relate with those around us, as I was constantly told by anti-home schoolers - this is merely one facet of that.

 

If you have the space and it benefits everyone, then worry about it. If you don't have the space and your kids are happy, leave it be :D

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Tesseract

If it's possible, I think it's good for kids to be in single sex rooms from puberty, just for their privacy.

 

I also think it's nice if there is a space in the house where children can retreat to to be alone if they want. And once they're adolescents they need a quiet place to study.

 

But apart from that, sharing rooms is totally normal for 99% of the human population.

 

If it works for your family, honestly don't give what other people say a second thought.

 

Thank you for being a foster parent too :)

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Beeeeeez

I shared with my sibling till I was 18 yo. No damage done here. Its normal to share and would be crazy to expect from every family to afford large houses so every child has her/his room.

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Tiredmum4

I just moved DD1 and DD2 (nearly 5 and nearly 2) into the same room. Other than DD2 wanting to play at bedtime it is working really well. Their relationship has gotten much better too. They love playing in "their" room. I shared with my sister till I was around 12 and it wasn't a problem at that age. I think it is nice for teens to have their own space where possible though.

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Caribou

If it works leave it alone!

 

Growing up I had friends who shared rooms with siblings. I was so envious. They has a fanastic relationship with their siblings.

 

If it works leave it alone!

 

Growing up I had friends who shared rooms with siblings. I was so envious. They has a fanastic relationship with their siblings.

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DragonHorse

I don't think it is ever a problem for siblings to share. Until i was nearly 3 we lived in a granny flat so mum, dad, me and my brother all shared a room then we moved into a 2 bedroom house and due to my dad's sleep disorder he had one room and mum, me and brother shared the other room- mum on the bottom bunk and me and brother shared the top. We did this until i was 8 and my brother was 10 and mum and dad managed to scrape enough together for an extension. My brother and I got on better when we shared a room, once we had separate rooms we became more possessive of our own things and space and would scream bloody murder if either of us dared to enter the others bedroom. This continued until i moved out at 21. We are best friends again now.

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Nofliesonme

Thanks everyone. Yes ideally I would like dS1 and DD2 to seperate at puberty but for now it's the best room in the house.

 

We have a 21x9metre shed and we have a rumpus room set up down there where the older kids can go and watch a movie away from the little kids and vice versa and there is enough space for each child to spread out and do their own thing. We have 2acres.

 

I'm just over hearing about this they need their own room. Blah blah blah

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CookieCutter

I shared a room with my sister until we were around 13 (twins). It was weird when we got our own rooms. Took a while to adjust. My mum on the other hand, shared with her parents until she was 18. Yeah, no thanks.

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teejay

I guess a lot of the people that say you need your own room probably had their own room when growing up. Some people can never see that anything other than what they deem normal can be just fine.

I think it certainly gets harder when the kids become teenagers and really want their own space more. It is also hard if the kids have different ideas. My DH shared with his brother who was very neat and my DH was/is a messy bugger. Apparently brothers side of the room was spotless and DH side was a pig sty.

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Guest canadianmum

We have to room share, we have no choice.

Our 15 year old twins share a big bedroom (they have a double bed each but often share so they only have to make one bed in the morning).

It is a beautiful room they recently decorated all by them selves in charcoal with white floorboards and painted 'found' furniture.

They are very proud of their space.

My 11 year old and 6 year old daughters share another room, and a double bed. They wanted in that way.

 

My 18 year son has his own room.

 

Most weekends there is an extra 2 children here. They fit too!

 

We share with the baby.

 

We have spaces where you can curl up with a book if you want to be alone.

 

So far, no axe murderers, we all bumble along nicely.

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missjones

My sister (3 yrs younger) and I shared our whole lives.

Small 3x1 house

Small room (bunk rather than 2 singles)

 

To this day my mum will often say ...

"You girls always shared and it never did you girls any harm!"

 

She's right, It didn't physically harm me .. but psychologically lol ....

 

I moved out at the earliest opportunity

Sleeping on a top bunk when I was 18+ drove me nuts.

Lack of any privacy, room to have friends over or even a quiet homework study space drove me nuts.

 

Now as an adult, I crave having my own quiet space.

 

My sister and I are not close. The experience didn't make us closer.

 

I don't begrudge my parents (my brother has his own room) for their decision to work things that way - it was what it was. But now as a parent i will always try to give the girls their own space.

Edited by missjones
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Nofliesonme

Thanks for further opinions. We have plenty of room to find your own space which I think helps :)

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kadoodle

DD1 and DS1 shared until they were 5 and 2, when we moved. Then DD1 and DD2 shared. Until recently, the girls had their own rooms while DS1 and DS2 shared. Right now we're staying with the ILs while we wait for water and power connection to our new house, and DD1 has her own room, DS1, DD2 and DS2 share. DD2 was sharing with her big sister, but decided to share with her brothers as they tell her off less than her almost teenage, moody sister.

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