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mamaj180

How do you know when your done?…Did you get that feeling?

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mamaj180

Hi everyone!!

 

I just recently had my 5th baby a beautiful baby boy. Throughout my pregnancy I would talk with my friends. And they said that they just "knew" when they were finished having children. That their baby would be born and knew instantly that their family was complete. Well I have never got that feeling maybe I will never get it… I just don't know. I still feel like theres another little person out there still to join our family. But then again I feel somewhat sad that this maybe our last….I had a prolapse uterus after my fourth child. And things are little bit worse. But only time will tell how I heal.

I think what Im trying to get at…is did you get that feeling that you just knew your family is complete and decided and not having any more??

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Oma Desala

While every now and then I get the feeling that it would be nice to try for a third, my head takes over and reminds me that it's just not possible for us. If I'm truly honest, I bately cope with two children at times. A third, while not the end of the world, would have the potential to break me and I don't want to take that risk. I guess you could say that I just felt done.

 

ETA- sorry, I just saw this was in large families. I don't have a large family, but hope my answer was helpful in some way anyway

Edited by Oma Desala
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Soontobegran

I have answered this question before on here and the answer was never really.

 

I am a granny and still quite capable of yearning to have a new baby in my arms.

 

After #5 we made the decision to take permanent steps to prevent a pregnancy and as I was being wheeled to theatre I wanted to jump off the trolley.

It was not a decision made by either of our hearts but by our heads.

I never really came to terms with it even though it was a joint and carefully considered decision.

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The Awesome One

I don't think I will ever get that "done" feeling, but we won't be having any more.

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luckyducky

I have 5. I don't think I will ever be done wanting a sixth :(

 

We are not preventing it, but my age is my barrier. if it did happen I would be thrilled.

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podg

Some of us are definitely done. I'd be horrified to find myself pregnant again (I have 4)

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**Xena**

I think some people get a definite done feeling whilst others are only done because they have to be for whatever reason.

 

I thought I might be done after DD and now here I am expecting number #4 and hoping for another one or two after this one :)

 

ETA: Hey this was my 21,000th post on EB :D

Edited by **Xena**
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Luvmy4

For me it was when our youngest was about 9months old. I was still bf and af hadn't returned yet. We had a condom break and the fear I had that it may result in a pregnancy made me realise that I was done. I knew I couldn't go through another pregnancy.

DH decided to have a vasectomy and when he "says a new baby would be nice I could get it reversed"(13 years later) I still shudder.

Yep I am done.

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butterflybum

I too wondered if I would ever get that feeling. After have my forth baby , a girl after three boys I really felt like I was done, I was preparing for life with kids and not babies. Now I just found out I'm pregnant and realise I was done because I haven't really had that joyful excited feeling that we will be having another baby. It's more of a oh crap feeling. Lol

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DragonHorse

I just had my second, she is 12weeks old. I am done… i am soooooooooooo done. My whole life i wanted 2 kids, just 2, thats it. My head and my heart seem to agree that 2 is enough for us and my body is super relieved not to have to go through all that again. Love my girls to the moon and back.

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AuntyJJJ

In the middle of having sex you stop completely, sit up and say I feel sick, really sick like Im going to throw up at the idea of getting pregnant ever again. I felt utter disgust at the idea of a baby/sleeplessness/slavery and could not overcome that disgust...

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Feral Grey Mare

After two, my obstetrician said if I wanted any more I would have to find another doctor because after a 6 pounder and a 12 pounder he didn't think I should risk a 24 pounder(he was joking!).

 

I would have liked 3 or 4 but DH was not keen and I was fast approaching 40 so reluctantly had to settle for 2.

 

With hindsight this was a wise choice. Two teenagers have sent me grey so I couldn't imagine what four would do.

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Oriental lily

I know I am done after this one .

The reasons are many but the biggest one is my age and the challenges that the TTC process (declining fertility is a reality with me the 18 months of active TTC proved it ) and the fears of miscarriage that ever increase the older you get . I don't have the nerves for it any more .

 

DH always wanted a big family . I always imagined a family of 2 maybe 3 kids .

 

This baby is a sort of compromise . He did sort of hint that he would be keen for a 5th( the man is nuts !) He even mentioned having another when we are 42 ........

 

The thing is I can not help obsessing when trying to get pregnant . I can not also stop from falling in love with my future baby in the early stages of pregnancies .

 

I find the disappointment every month and the devastation of early losses very traumatic .

 

Why would I put myself under that strain anymore when I already have a wonderful family ?

 

Nope very happy to meet my little boy in April then this old mare is going in the baby making retirement .

For good .

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twirling

I wondered the same after #3 and although I 'knew' #4 was our last my heart still thought 'one more would be lovely' and I assumed I would have to live with that yearning for ever.

 

#4 is now 2 1/2 and there is not one atom of my soul that would want another baby.

I'm not sure when that happened, maybe some time after her 1st birthday.

I KNOW I am soooo done now. I would be very upset to become pregnant.

I love visiting with new bubs, I love spending time with my little DN but I just never want another one of my own.

So I guess I am one of the ones that 'just know' lol

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Pooks_

I am so done.

 

DP wants a vasectomy after this one is born and I might get my tubes done just to be sure.

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jdl

I only have one, but I just never wanted the second badly enough. I had a fairly strong feeling of quitting while I was ahead. DH kind of wanted more. He is an excellent father - but he is not a keen houseworker and also insists that we live in apartments near the city - so that strengthened my resolve and my wish to just leave it where we were.

 

I also use contraception and am lucky in that it usually works, so that removed the chance of getting caught out or leaving it to fate.

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BoysGalore+1girly

We had 7 sons # 7 s birth was scary due to placental abruption both dh and I said we are done after that scare

Hmm within 4 months I was pregnant with #8 who ended up being our only girl

As soon as she was born I felt complete

I never had tha feeling before I'm not sure if it was all gender related

It's a nice feeling though

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Freddie'sMum

I don't belong here because we are not a large family - once we had DD#1 I was desperate for another baby. DH agreed to one more and that was it. No more babies.

 

DD#2 arrived and damn near destroyed us. So a logical and practical decision that I agreed with 100%.

 

In a different universe I would have had that magical baby number 3 - but it wasn't to be.

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*Lena*

I have 4, I don't feel done. Know I probably am as I don't think I would ever talk DH into another. I am not ruling it out though. To try and get over it I tell myself I still have a few years yet and I am planning family overseas holidays.

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madefromscratch

I think I'll be like STBG, if I'm lucky enough to be a granny.

 

I have one child and am so grateful. I always wanted 2 or 3 but that's pretty unlikely. I think I'll always chat to mums with babies and yearn for another pregnancy, newborn, growing and changing baby, toddler. I'm pretty sure there are stages ahead that I won't think so fondly of though...

 

Congratulations OP on your beautiful baby and I hope you heal really well (and quickly).

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Always amazed!

I had no 5 9 months ago.

 

Im 50/50 as to whether or not i want another one... Some days i do some days i dont..

 

We are not avoiding a pregnancy so if no 6 comes along i know it will defiantly be the last one.

 

I always wanted 6 hubby wanted 2 we settle on 3 and no 3 turned out to be twins..

.. He was the one who wanted to go for no 5 ( o resisting from me as i did as well)

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Mistaken identity

With my second child I had a high risk pregnancy and a traumatic first few weeks and I knew there was no way I could go through any of that again.

 

I also know that I'm done because the thought of accidentally getting pregnant again fills me with dread instead of excitement.

 

After my first I had this feeling of another person waiting in the wings. I just knew that our family wasn't complete and there was someone waiting to join us. I don't have that feeling anymore, I feel as though we are all here. And my life is moving into the next phase (youngest starting school, finished study, ready to go back to work again).

 

My health is also not what it was when I was younger. I don't think my body could cope with another pregnancy. It barely coped with my second.

 

All those reasons together make it crystal clear to me that I'm done.

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Natttmumm

After 2 kids I thought I might be done but had that feeling on and off for another. More on than off. We ended up with number 3 and I really felt done especially when he was little.

 

I know deep down 3 is it and heres why: 3 is the most I can physically manage, my body probably wouldnt cope with another pregnancy, im pretty tired all the time (youngest is just under 2), the last birth was very traumatic and we nearly lost bub, Dh doesnt want anymore and wants time to do more things in life (he would have stopped at 2), I can see in the near future we will be able to travel and go more places, I have already had three maternity leaves from a professional job, some recent medical stuff would make it a bit risky - not high risk but a bit more of a risk than I would like.

 

All that being said I occasionally think about ...what if one more - but when I really think it over and all that it would mean and I just feel tired. When DS was born I was very strongly done - over time that feeling has lessened but not enough to have another

 

We are done.

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MummaJo

I think there comes a point for us we knew our limits in terms of age and patience. We started a family a little later, first son at 33, second at 37, I'm 40 in three weeks, husband is 42.

 

As much as little babies are gorgeous they are never little for long. They need to go to school and do activities and the $$ add up. I work full time and if we had more I would have to give up my career, its not something I am willing to do.

 

If that sounds a little clinical I guess it is. I am the eldest of four and I know how much my parents were tested in terms of time, patience and money. I just knew I didn't want the same.

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~Katia~

I'm about to give birth to #3 and yep, If the child care was free in this country, I would have at least two more.

 

But since this is not the case and we don't want to be donating 2/3 of my pay to childcare for another 10 or so years.

 

Makes me feel a little bit sad, so I'm trying to enjoy whatever I have left of this pregnancy

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