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Mummy_Em

Emotional Regulation?

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alwayshappy

I'm part of this challenging club with my 7 year old aggressive, oppositional, sensitive, sad son! Not a club I would wish on anyone.

We find our son cannot regulate any of his feelings, particularly embarrassment, sadness, anger or being challenged. He also doesn't even cope well with positive emotions like happiness or excitement. Any stimulus is too much for him to bear and his fight or flight response almost always ends up in a fight.

Like Wizzfizz's son, our son cannot possibly stop himself or regulate himself once he's hit that point of no return. Later on, after he's calmed down, he is often able to articulate what he should have or could have done.

Our son also has meltdowns over extremely minor things - using milk out of the fridge that has had meat in it (he has an aversion to the smell of meat), using a firm voice when you ask him to do something, playing a computer game that 'cheats, not wanting to leave a place when asked.... these incidences happen 4-7 times each and every day. They are distressing and exhausting.

After 5 years of this behavior, we are just now beginning Risperdal and Lovan - an anti-psychotic and anti-depressant. He's only been on it just over a week and no changes yet, but the Risperdal dose is still being slowly increased. We are so hopeful we'll see a change soon as our son can't even attend school as his behavior is as awful there as it is at home. He's awful absolutely everywhere. The only peace is when he's asleep! It's a crap way to live.

Get lots of professional help and support now. Don't' take no for an answer, or be fobbed off. It's taken us too long to be taken seriously, unfortunately. Listen to your instincts.

I wish you the best, it's damn hard work.

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alwayshappy

Update for those of you with aggressive children - Risperdal is actually working for us! Finally, after 6 years of dealing with this distressing behaviour, we have something that's working.

The aggression has reduced significantly. My son is belly laughing. His volatility has reduced. If he gets angry, he gets over it much quicker.

It is an option for those of you who have tried everything without luck - please speak to your paediatrician.

We finally have hope.

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Mummy_Em

Sorry Alwayshappy, I've only just seen your update. That is fantastic news.

 

Dd1 actually punched dd2 in the cheek today! I think I am going to have to go back to my documenting.

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MarsBarSlice

AlwaysHappy - I'm so relieved for you. Now I hope you can take a breath for yourself and claim back some of your own life cause you deserve it. You must be overwhelmed with emotion to see this side of your son after all this time.

 

We've got some good news too. DS1 had his adenoids out and grommets in just before Christmas and it has changed his behaviour dramatically. He is less aggressive and doesn't explode on a daily basis. He is happier and more patient. However, we are not in the clear. The other side of it is that it's not a daily occurrence anymore however when he does explode it is worse than it ever was. He is alot stronger suddenly and is trying to break things to harm himself (like a glass cabinet). His first reaction is still violence and he has injured his brother quite a few times (some of them have been lucky escapes to not have a trip to hospital). Our daily life has improved and the house is a lot calmer but we are far from in the clear. He has another psych appt this week so will see what he says about the self harm and injuring his brother.

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Mummy_Em

That sounds scary, MarsBarSlice. Hope the psych has some ideas.

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Heading South

A other here with DS2 who finds it hard to regulate his emotions

This sounds like our boy too

With our DD we discovered that she uses anger to replace any uncomfortable feeling she is having. So if she is embarrassed or stressed about something she will lash out to avoid having to deal with that emotion. She then just moves on and doesn't deal with it later and so it piles on until everything is setting her off.work I tell her she can stay angry if she chooses but she can't take it out on us so she has to stay in her room until she can be calm again. Sometimes this results in a massive tantrum but I ignore it and she burns out eventually and life resumes. Later on we have a talk to see if there is anything bothering her although most times with those tantrums she is just being a so and so.

 

We are still struggling emotionally with one of our kids. We received a letter saying could be a three year wait for paed appointment. Great! Back to gp I think.

 

We have started seeing a Pead and psych at our local uni,hope you get a appt soon

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