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Raincloud

Homebirthers - can I ask your advice?

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Raincloud

I'm a bit on the fence about having a Homebirth. I'm more swayed to yes now after meeting the lovely midwife and I love the continuity of care and the after birth support.

 

My biggest issue is that my kids will be 3 and 16 months when the new baby is here and I am worried about not being able to get enough rest after the birth. I think I will find it hard to not get up and do everything. Also my kids don't leave me alone when I'm at home. I can't even go down for a nap without them bothering me.

 

Also I'm worried about the house not being clean enough when the parents and inlaws come visit as they are all pretty much judgemental.

 

There's not really any reason for me to Homebirth as my hospital births were fine and I quite liked the hospital experience of the birth (I hated the antenatal care though).

 

Anyone got any advice or can share your experience if you had the same worries?

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Raincloud

I don't think I'd be able to have someone clean up while I'm here. My DH isn't really keen on the home birth but will do what I say. He would be helpful after birth but I would have to instruct him to do every single thing as he's just useless otherwise and has no foresight. It would be nice to be able to switch off and not worry about stuff but I don't think I'd be able to.

 

I'm not going to have my kids home for the birth. I know they won't cope even though everyone tells me they will.

 

I'm so undecided! Wish I could make up my mind!

 

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dancermum12

Yes those are all reasons why I wasn't keen on a home birth (among others) :) But people who do them usually really love it, so they must find some way to deal!

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ekbaby

I had similar fear about whether I would miss the "support" of the hospital, in terms of being provided with meals, not having to worry about washing nappies or linen, not having to clean etc.

 

Anyway I had #1 in hospital, #2 at home and home was *so much better* for the aftercare. I couldn't believe how much better it was- I chose homebirth for other reasons but being at home after the birth was so good, especially for my partner.

 

In hospital they didn't provide the partners with any meals, so DP was either starving or having to rush out up the street to get takeaway, missing me and the baby (and not really ever eating "proper" healthy food). DP couldn't get a proper nights sleep as she had a little fold out couch (better than nothing but not a bed). When we were at home I would try and do most of the night feeds on my own so that she could get at least a 5-6 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep (in another room). This meant that she had *heaps* of energy the next day so was able to take over all the cooking, toddler wrangling, tidying, washing, whatever was needed. She could also hold the baby for a few hours every night so I could go to bed early and try and get some sleep.

 

When we had a hospital birth we were both absolutely shattered from lack of sleep by the time we got home. They had this bloody call bell that just went off all day and night and kept everyone awake, cleaners coming and going, food coming and going etc.

 

Speaking of cleaning/cooking etc DP didn't have to do *that* much. Nesting instinct kicked in before the birth and the place was cleaner that it's ever been (or ever will again, until I get close to birthing this babe, lol). At 38 weeks every night before I went to bed I would make DP vacuum, I am not normally like this! But because it was a little a day, just maintaining the clean, it worked well. Pity I can't keep that up when not pregnant!

 

In terms of food we had some freezer meals organised, had a few friends and family members offer to drop meals off (lunch or dinner), had a bit of money put aside for extra takeaway etc and pre-ordered a woolies homeshop delivery that included a lot of easy to prepare but tasty food eg fresh fruit, pre-packaged salads, fresh ravioli, nice yoghurts etc. Between all of this we ate *really* well for the first few weeks.

 

The best help I got from family/friends were people that would take our toddler out for a few hours in the middle of the day so we could rest and so he could have some fun/active time- most people just took him to the park down the road and maybe get a smoothie on the way home or something. I didn't have *that* many people who were able to help but those that did- a core of about 5 people- who all might have only taken him once or twice- were really solid and amazing.

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Raincloud

My DH wouldn't stay at the hospital with me anyway an I would probably only stay one night.

 

I guess if I'd only stay one night what difference would it make? My parents will take the kids so that will be okay. I guess if I'm not able to rest my parents can have the kids overnight.

 

I love the continuity of the care and there seems to be heaps of support for afterwards which is awesome.

 

I really would like to try a water birth this time but my labours have been quick so not sure if I'll be able to. But I'm going to hire a birth pool.

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Raincloud

I just want a bath. We don't have a bath and the thought of lying in the birth pool in the summer when I'm heavily pregnant leading up to the birth sounds like heaven!! Hehe.

 

I do remember after my daughter's birth last year that I was in the hospital room largely ignored, got no help for breastfeeding and was pretty much left alone with DD. not that I blame the hospital, just I guess that was their staffing issues. It was nice to have a private room though.

 

I think I will continue on the program. I can always change my mind later. I don't think anyone has ever regretted their home birth.

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IShallWearMidnight

personally, I clean in labour, so that wasnt an issue. :D

I pretty much just birth at the hospital (high risk so wasnt able to HB) and come home asap.

I couldnt care less if the house had been messy, any visitors were there to see bub. But personally we delayed telling people, to avoid the onslaughts of visitors (I found it very overwhelming with my oldest)

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ekbaby

I also found the after care in terms of help with breastfeeding etc much better with a homebirth. With DS1 I had a lot of troubles establishing breastfeeding so decided to stay in hospital longer (4 days vs 2 days) to try and get it sorted. Unfortunately I didn't really get any extra help in that time, just more disturbance. When I was trying to feed DS I would press the buzzer and someone (a different person each time) would come in for a couple of minutes and either try and mash his head and my boob together (!) or say something like "yeah, looks ok". It wasn't their fault, they were obviously just very busy and don't have time to spend a lot of time with each woman.

 

I was worried about how I would cope being at home without any medical/midwifery people around 23 hours a day, but in that 1 hour (or longer) visit that I had each day from my midwife I got *so much* more support than being in the hospital 24 hours. As the midwife could just totally focus on me and the baby, no interruptions, had time to answer all my questions, actually watch a whole feed from start to finish. Plus knowing my history, or what happened yesterday etc, wasn't always repeating myself. Luckily it wasn't nearly as hard breastfeeding the second time around but I know that if I had had troubles the midwife would have spent extra time with me. She visited something like 5 days out of the first 7, but was also available via phone, so when my milk came in and I was really sore I could talk to her for ages about what to do.

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Raincloud

Thanks everyone :) much food for thought.

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sandy_1985

Continuity of care with a midwife that you like rocks!

 

I had a rather difficult hospital birth and I got little to no help in hospital. In fact I may have l left hospital a little too early just so my husband could support us and make my recovery quicker. I had a Private Midwife and cannot speak highly enough about her support. In the 1 hr visits, we could more covered than what I could have otherwise got done under the hospital system. If needed she could have stayed longer than 1 hr, but that was all I needed. She also visited me daily at home to make sure I wasn’t doing too much, otherwise I’d be told off.

 

I like GF response to the parents and in-laws regarding the cleaning. I would cut yourself some slack regarding the cleaning. Having a baby and two young kids, there are bigger priories in your life :)

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deejie

I also found the after care in terms of help with breastfeeding etc much better with a homebirth.

 

Yes, me too. It was absolutely amazing. I remember phoning my midwife in tears on day 5 (a bit of baby blues crossed with enormously engorged breasts, red lumps in my left arm pit, painful feeding)-- she was there within a couple of hours and stayed with me all afternoon. She was back the next day and then two days after that. It really is gold standard breastfeeding care.

 

My midwife was also big on "bedding in". Even though you birth at home, you stay in bed/stay in your room. Rest, sleep, cuddle your baby for the first 3 days. It helped my recovery enormously and by golly my milk came in very fast in comparison with my hospital birth, because I was in bed with my baby, I could sleep and rest. DS1 (then aged 2) came and went as he pleased, but trust me-- a Mum resting in bed is not very exciting and when the novelty wore off he quickly found for interesting things to do.

 

I was so much more rested even with him running around than I was sharing a room with someone in hospital.

 

And trust me, private midwives have seen it all. At my latest antenatal visit my midwife walked in on DS1 (now 5) washing his hands at the kitchen sink after going to the toilet. He had no pants on and his private bits were flapping around everywhere, but she managed to keep a straight face and have a conversation with him about lego :laugh:

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TheFirstNoel

My midwife was just so amazing, sooooooooooo not judgmental at all. And by the end of the pregnancy I was pretty comfortable with her.

 

I also had a Major nesting bug with my home birth bubs. I was literally scrubbing grout in the days before I gave birth. I am not what you would describe as a naturally domestic person! :lol:

 

I also didn't have my olders around and was glad for it - much harder birth than I anticipated.

 

Afterwards, DH is great at helping out. The house was still clean for a little while. I made a good effort to rest.

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