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Lucla

Would you change Daycare Centres?

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Lucla

Hi All,

 

I need some outside perspective on a few things that have happened at my daughters day care center. I dont know if my expectations are too high or if others would find what I am going to list as issues. I apologise in advance for the length of the post.

 

DD (almost 14 months) started daycare at the end of April 3 days per week, we knew she would have a hard time of it as she has always been very clingy to me but were assured by the staff that it takes all children time to settle in and she will get there. She is still coming home red eyed and with a horse voice, I understand 2 and a bit months probably isnt enough time yet for her to settle in but when combined with other issues its just another thing to think about.

 

So some of the issues are, this centre seems to have no idea about their policies and procedures. In May DD got croup, we kept her home from daycare and only sent her when we were confident she was over it. When she first got it I phoned the centre to advise she would not be in as she had croup. Then when she was well and we take her back I just get into work that day to be called and told I need to come back and get her as she needs a clearance cert from the doctor. As I didnt have a car DH had it I called him and we arranged how one of us would get to DD and then called the centre back to advise what time we would be there, when I called back I was told no you dont need it and then I was phoned later by someone again to say yes I did. Why couldnt they inform me when I first advised them of the croup.

 

Something came up one day with the room leader about teething and I said when she is teething she really feels it etc and was told just send along some panadol or whatever you normally give her. So the next time she started to teeth again I sent panadol only to be told they cannot give it without a note from the docs to state she is teething. So I had to get my mum to drive there and give the panadol as they would not give it to her and we had already missed so much work from the croup I couldnt miss more to take her to the docs.

 

I understand they need a clearance cert or a note from the docs but why not hand out a copy of the policies before a child starts, we got nothing in our documentation to state any of this and when I rang about the croup and I initially mentioned the teething why couldnt they mention then this is what they require.

 

We were assured that they will follow our routine and we wrote it all down for them (this centres nursery is until 2) yet they do things all out of order or make DD wait for her afternoon bottle which she always has about an hour after lunch (so 12.30ish) to well after 4pm many many times. I know a lot of kids this age no longer have bottles but DD was prem so is only just 12 months corrected and eats like a bird so it was important she have it and if she has it so late we have no chance of getting any dinner into her at 6pm this has happened so many times and I really do understand there is other kids but to make her wait over 4 hours is extreme to me.

 

The other issue is there has been 3 occasions when we have been able to pick DD up or she has been required to be picked up early and we have walked in and she is crying very upset and is not being comforted. Just last week we got a call to state we needed to pick DD up as they had a case of hand foot & mouth at the centre and DD's nappy rash was spotty. (her nappy rash is always spotty and she had no fever or blisters but to be sure we picked her up anyways). It was actually my Mum who picked her up and when she got there DD was on the floor crying pretty hard reaching up to the carer and the carer was standing beside her folding a blanket. DD was very red faced and red eyed which seemed she had been crying for a while. I will also add there were no other children at the time who were upset or needed any comforting.

 

I just dont know if these issues are actually issues or if I am overreacting. I am not sure whether a different centre would be better suited to DD or if pulling her out would be cruel and that she may start to settle in soon. I get told all the time she has had a great day today but she is bright red eyed from crying and her voice is horse every day so i dont know if I am being told she is doing well to make me feel better or not.

 

Appreciate you thoughts and thanks so much for reading this novel!!

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Lalasmooch

Move her. Honestly regardless of the issues at the end of the day if you don't feel right about the center and arent 100% confident in them, you ahould go elsewhere and find somewhere you can feel confident about leaving your DD. As for the things you listed I think your expectations are perfectly reasonable and the center is lacking communication and clear policies. I wouldnt keep my DS anywhere I wasnt totally confidant in. Once you find a great center the transition and daycare days will be so much easier on all of you. If you have a local mums page or group on facebook ask for reccomendations there. Best of luck OP

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CallMeFeral

They sound awful. Try somewhere else. Doesn't sound like she's settled there anyway.

 

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niggles

Crying children not being comforted is a deal breaker for me. Mine or someone elses.

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Therese

I would move her.

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Pearson

leave NOW!

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NunSoFeral

I'd be out of there.

Hoarse and red-eyed, and not being comforted when reaching up to the carer?

:no:

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dirtgirl

I think you need to trust your gut on this one. If you're not 100% comfortable with the care they are providing, you will always find little issues that will make you doubt the level of care. You know your child better than anyone, and if you get the feeling that she's not being cared for to the standard you expect, chances are you're right. I think 2.5 months is ample time for a 14mo to transition into care...even the clingiest of children should have settled down by now.

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miriams

The thing is the carers are not encouraged to pick up and cuddle the children because the center management/owners fear litigation - either frivolous claims from unbalanced parents or people who have genuinely misinterpreted what their child has says about it. I've had a couple of relatives who have worked in CC for short periods of time and they all say that they have to be really careful about picking kids up. It also stops them from doing the other things they are increasingly expected to do - paperwork, cleaning, tidying up.Your DD really hasn't been there very long as well.

 

 

The centers have their own routine. While they will try to accommodate yours as much as possible, the logistics of looking after so many kids mean that realistically their own routine will get priority. I very much doubt you are going to find things much different at another center. You could look into a home daycare or a nanny?

Edited by miriams
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chicken_bits

Absolutely I would move her. I hope you can find a more suitable place for her ASAP.

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WaitForMe

If you have the luxury of moving her, do it.

 

The policy stuff, for warm and kind carers I would forgive almost anything.

 

As an aside, spotty nappy rash might be fungal if you haven't already gone down that path. Just thought I'd mention it.

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Tooties

My DD is the same age and is also very clingy. She started child care 2 days a week a while back and it took about 3 weeks for her to stop crying when I dropped her off. She gets lots of cuddles and comfort and is now really comfortable with her carers. Reassurance is very important for babies to settle somewhere new.

 

If you aren't comfortable with how they are caring for your DD, definitely move her. You don't sound like you're overreacting, I wouldn't be happy with the situations you are describing.

 

Have you had a meeting with the centre's director to get some information on the policies and provide feedback on your concerns and the lack of consistency? It may take some time to get her another spot, this age group has the highest demand for spots in our area. Put your name down at a few other places and see if you can get the centre to pick up their game between now and when you get another spot.

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archersmumma

Yes I would move her. Mother's instinct is always right. I had my son in a day care centre when I went back to work and just had a bad vibe about it. I pulled him out and changed centres and it was the best decision I made. I think if you are having doubts you know what you should do. Good luck xo

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daydreamer123

I'd move more her - if you can daycare places aren't always easy to come by.

 

Both my boys took ages to settle in properly. Well my little one is still in the process 14 months old now and started in March. So the settling in I would go based on her personality. But the routine should be being followed, of course she's crying if she is hungry. They should at least make a reasonable attempt to get a bottle into her closer to her normal time. And the comforting thing is absolute nonsense. Where my son goes he gets a cuddle from almost every carer we see when we are there. He has gone in almost every day of his life because of my older son and they all love him there and give him cuddles. If I thought that he wasn't being comforted I would be very upset.

 

This is a big centre with plenty of kids and they do have time follow the babies schedules and comfort the little ones. Its different for the big kids, but the babies get plenty of love

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Pebbles2424

The thing is the carers are not encouraged to pick up and cuddle the children because the center management/owners fear litigation - either frivolous claims from unbalanced parents or people who have genuinely misinterpreted what their child has says about it. I've had a couple of relatives who have worked in CC for short periods of time and they all say that they have to be really careful about picking kids up. It also stops them from doing the other things they are increasingly expected to do - paperwork, cleaning, tidying up.Your DD really hasn't been there very long as well.

 

 

The centers have their own routine. While they will try to accommodate yours as much as possible, the logistics of looking after so many kids mean that realistically their own routine will get priority. I very much doubt you are going to find things much different at another center. You could look into a home daycare or a nanny?

 

Thats crazy. I know at our centre my DS is cuddled ALOT (he is a clingy,anxious kid at the best of times) and ive seen plenty of other children cuddled and picked up too. In fact everytime I turn up there someone is having a cuddle.

 

OP, if youre not happy id look at other centres. In mye xperience (and ive looked at many daycares and my DS has attended 2 different ones, same chain which we have both been very happy with), the staff are what make the place. And while mixed messages do happen ie with the doctors clearance etc, if youre little one is not being comforted as much as they are able to (bearing in mind the other children) and you feel uncertain about the place, id look for somewhere else.

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Funnington

The lack of comfort given to a visibly upset baby would be enough for me to remove her (and I have before)

 

What you describe happen to my DS - very clingy baby/toddler, staff standing around chatting about their weekends and other events while they could clearly see me struggling to put him down to leave.

 

You speak to any professional childcare worker and they will tell you the compliance in DCC's now is overwhelming but, folding a blanket isn't compliance and shouldn't have stopped someone picking the baby up for a cuddle!

 

Unfortunately finding good childcare is hard. They're not paid well enough to attract good staff.

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SplashingRainbows

 

It's sad that this is your experience Miriam's. It's not mine.

 

In fact I'm part of the executive management committee at a community centre and I can state with 100% assurance that all of our committee and our director prioritise attending to crying children above just about anything else.

 

Babies being left to cry for any length of time is not ok. A minute or two while the other kids in the room are served lunch - ok that's probably unavoidable. Crying while the carer is folding washing - not ok.

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Caribou

Move her. I just moved my DD out of care 3 weeks ago and the change in her has been massive. She seemed happy to go, but the centre refused to be consistent with anything. While I knew they had 3 other kids to mind as well, no one was assigned children to them, and DD was almost toilet trained when starting there, she went backwards and gave up trying to use the loo, you know why? because the centre refused to help her take her pants off and on. they also wouldn't let her skip her day naps either. she would be ratty and yell at me a lot, despite the fact she seemed happy and wouldn't come home. I think she liked the activities, but nothing beyond that. since keeping her home, she's stopped wetting her pants and taking herself to the toilet. She's no longer ratty. she's happier. I just wish I didn't take six months and ignore my gut on it. I ignored it because everyone said I had to give them a go.

 

If there's a new centre you can put her in I would do it. Not every centre you first put them into is the right one for them. Sometimes you need to go through a few to find the right one. Don't feel disheartened this one didn't work. I while I get they have other kids to mind, I would expect them to do their best to keep the kids happy. the centre my DD was at, definitely had no issues hugging or holding kids and I had no problems with that. I think kids need hugs and comfort. Keep looking. you'll find the right centre.

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Guest loulou_b

Have you considered family daycare for you DD? Sometimes they can be more flexible with pick up and drop off times and depending on the carer and days needed, the ratio of carer to kids might be better than in a centre.

What others are saying is correct, the staff make a good centre and obviously if you're not feeling the love, so to speak, then it's best to move her somewhere where you do feel assured that she's being cared for.

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Liza13

My centre is fantastic and in fact two of my friends moved to my centre because both of their kids were miserable at their old centres. When they moved to my centre both kids blossomed and are far happier than they were before. And now both their siblings go there and are also happy. If you move to a better centre you will be amazed at the difference in your child and wonder why you stayed at the old one as long as you did.

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seepi

Kids are not left crying at our centre.

 

Sometimes if all staff are busy or it is a chaotic day with new staff and lots of kids crying then it might happen, but I see staff holding babies or sitting with about 3 on their knee in the baby room every day i go there.

 

I would definitely look around for somewhere with warmer staff.

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ineedmorecoffee

My heart broke for your dd reading that op, I would definitely be moving her :(

 

Hopeyou find a place you are comfortable with soon.

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TobiasFLK

OP you're not overreacting at all!!!

 

I wouldn't be too upset about the panadol/dr scenario, while annoying it's forgivable, assuming your dd was receiving lots of care and affection. Sounds like she is not, so I'd definitely move her.

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Taffyk

PP is correct - some centres don't allow cuddling. My mum used to work in one - it drove her crazy (she was in the baby room). That said - they would try other ways to comfort a child, they wouldn't just ignore her.

 

If you can, I would move her. They sound unorganised.

 

They remind me of our centre (except the cuddling part) - it was new. It's much better now (2 years later).

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Beqa

It is more than reasonable to expect that crying children are comforted and that it is made a priority. Even if you are still unsure, start enquiring about other centres now. There are probably EB members in your area who could tell you about their centre.

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