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biene_maja

Did you get the "feeling done"/my family is complete feeling?

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Nofliesonme

That's why I foster lol. I don't feel done and don't think I ever will. I think my husband will say no soon enough though :(

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Natttmumm

the main thing stopping me having number 4 is that i feel like id have to put the other kids needs aside. that worries me as mine are all little.

 

i feel stretched!! that being said i still have that clucky feeling

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ms flib

Only once #3 was at school did I feel I was done. I couldn't go back to the baby/toddler stage again.

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stickymicky

My head screams Done!"

My heart whispers "one more"

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My4beautifulboys

Yes I think we re done, we also have 4 boys. I know if I was younger we would consider having #5, but I know that we re more than happy to have our beautiful four. It's the years to come to think about, getting them through school, different sports etc. and it does become more expensive as they become older. I had a difficult time having #4, so I don't think it would be fair on anyone to go for one more.

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Always amazed!

I dont know.. I started to feel done when my twins ( number 3&4) were 3. HUbby had said he didnt want any more .

. Then hubby dropped the bombshell that yep he would like one more so off we went.

 

BUb no 5 is 2 weeks old and atm I could defiantly have another one..!!! Give me a few more months and i might feel different!

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Chucky & Slappy

I dont know.. I started to feel done when my twins ( number 3&4) were 3. HUbby had said he didnt want any more .

. Then hubby dropped the bombshell that yep he would like one more so off we went.

 

BUb no 5 is 2 weeks old and atm I could defiantly have another one..!!! Give me a few more months and i might feel different!

 

You might not feel differently.

 

My DS is also baby number 5 and I was really hoping for that feeling.

 

Still waiting!!!

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Chucky & Slappy

I'm interested in how old people are when they mention age being a factor as to whether they are done or not.

 

Is it 30? 35? 40?

 

Is it the number or is it the age associated risks whether perceived or actual?

 

I don't feel old even though in baby making years some would see me as old.

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Walkers

35 seems to be the popular cut off age. It was for me but then I moved it to 38...and then to 40 hehe. I've had another three children after age 38, something I thought I would never do.

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plainface

Hubby and I had always wanted at least 4 children. After having our 4th child, I still had the feeling of not 'being done' and lo and behold we had our 5th child 4 years later. After having #5 though, I certainly have the feeling of 'being done' now. Very hard feeling to explain as I've never really felt this way until now. :)

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CheekyBuggers

I'm not done yet. I have 4 under 7 (lil miss turned 1 today and Its killing me). I find there's so many factors I face once bub is out (like losing weight, returning to study, other health issues) I don't just get to sit back and enjoy my baby. So I get to a point and want to relive. So while every part is screaming for another I want to get to a place where I don't have all those pressures and hopefully enjoy every moment of my preg and newborn as I'm suspecting it may be our last. Hubby isn't a help as he doesn't care how many we have but his wage is only avg so we don't have the luxury of a nice big house to continue

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Kylie Orr

Hi OP,

 

I had 4 and I am DONE! I adore babies and now I enjoy holding other people's and then handing them back.

 

I did have similar feelings to many in this thread, and wrote about it after baby #3 (Here if you want to read).

 

I don't regret having four and am certain my done feeling is permanent (well we've made it permanent thanks to a vasectomy!). I sometimes look longingly at people with 2 kids and think "one in each hand would have been so much easier" but if I could rewind I wouldn't have changed a thing!

 

Good luck.

 

Kylie.

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tanyak1

I knew 3 was my limit even when TCC our third, I detested being pregnant that time even more than the first 2 times, and my first thought after giving birth was relief that I never had to do that again! And I haven't changed my mind still 5 years later, I know 3 is the right number for us.

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MickeyBoo

I thought I would be done after #4, but when he was a few months old I knew I wasn't and we waited for a while to go back for #5. When she was born I knew I was done.

 

But I have some serious physical health issues which are a big contributing factor. Both my DH and myself have said we would go back for a 6th if my health issues weren't so bad. Another pregnancy would have me either in a wheelchair or with a walking frame for most of it I'm sure. We'd also need a house upgrade so it's easy enough for me to see the logistics of it and feel done.

 

Don't get me wrong, there are some days where I get super clucky, but with all the others it's been an almost overwhelming need/want to have another baby that i just couldn't shake, this time around I can shake it off and it doesn't get all consuming. I've also been able to gradually sell all the baby clothes, toys and cot without any tears over the past two years so I think that's a pretty good sign that I'm coming to terms with no more babies LOL

 

We haven't done anything permanent contraception wise and won't until the last bub is 5 years old.

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key4

I am struggling with this at the moment I am just about to give birth to number 4. I thought I would be done when I got pregnant with this one but the feelings are stronger than ever.

 

I will reserve judgement until the reality of mothering 4 sets in.

 

My husband was done at 2 but then decided some more would be ok :) Not sure I could convince of the merits of 5.

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Holidayromp

I most definitely won't be having xny more after this one. Dh is having the snip. I know that our family is complete and it feels so right.

 

I do understand the feelings of not being complete. They were so strong after no 3 was born I was looking for a forth body that wasn't there. Three felt wrong.

 

I am now at peace and being not an incredibly clucky person I definitely know the one more feelings will not surface. I am done.

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Holidayromp

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Quattuor Genitrix

When we were a family of two and three I distinctly remembering asking how did you know you were complete. In fact I may have even asked on here.

 

There was a very obvious divide. Those who confidently stated they just knew they were done. And others who were a little more unsure and having the head vs heart debate.

 

I always had the debate in my head and every time the heart won.

 

We have four wonderfully amazing individuals that my husband and I brought into this world. The moment our last child arrived a sense of peace washed over both my head and my heart. All the children that were meant for our family are here.

 

There is no longer a niggling feeling, a yearning, a jealous pang when someone else gets a + on a test. I can see newborns and ooooh and ahhhhh over them and appreciate them for their innocence and the future they will have.

 

But at no point does this cross over into my family structure, we are complete, there is no one missing. That is how I know unequivocally we are done.

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Lilura
My head screams Done!" My heart whispers "one more"

 

we are complete, there is no one missing. That is how I know unequivocally we are done.

 

I think I am waiting for this feeling to know i am "done". I feel as though there are two little ones still missing. I'm not sure if we will have more, Dh hasnt said a straight out no, but he is not 100% on board with the idea of more either.

 

I think I will see how I feel in a few more months and then we can talk about it again.

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azalia

Not yet, we have 3 gorgeous kiddies, 7,5 and 3 and I've always wanted a fourth. I would have had another right after my 3rd arrived but it was chaos with 3 under 5 and hubby was happy at 3. I hoped that would change over the years and I could convince him someone is missing from our family, I look at my three children and genuinely see one missing. As our third starts Kindy next year I really don't want to leave it much longer but I'm yet to convince Dh. I very much hope I can, any tips welcome on what worked for you, I'm a bit jealous of those who say their hubbies would love more! I'm seeing pregnant people everywhere and feel like everyone around me is having babies. Age isn't really an issue yet as I'm 30, I started young, but I'm a bit nervous about the big age gap we will have, our other 3 are so close.

 

If we have number four I really hope that done feeling comes!

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FeralProudSwahili

Definitely done.

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4keykne

How do you manage when the done doesn't come and other half not open to more? I am trying my best to be happy with my lot but really want one more. Starting to get a little bitter & twisted.

 

Does time eventually take over and ease the urge?

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Feral Grey Mare

I would have loved to have 1 or 2 more than the two I have(now 19 and 16). We only have a small family and my two will be on their own eventually as they are the only kids in the family. They were born when I was 36 and 39 and Dr advised me not to go again. I would have loved DD to have a sister and DS a brother but then again there are no guarantees they would be close I guess. DH was well and truly happy not to have any more. Maybe if I had started earlier we could have squeezed in an extra one or two but it was not to be. I think the fact mine are getting to the point of being independent is weighing on me a little bit too.

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Guest domestically~challenged

I knew I was done with two as I didn't feel like anyone was missing. Our family was complete.

 

Little did I know number three had other plans.

 

Still feeling done with our now three with or without the financial constraints we now have.

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Nofliesonme

I feel done until they are born then I want another one. Hence why we are pregnant with what seems will

Be #7 now with the extra children in my care.

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