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*mylittleprince*

What is the earliest you would turn to forward facing?

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*mylittleprince*

Hi there

 

What is the earliest you would consider turning your baby forward facing?

 

My 10 month old and 8.4kg girl absolutely hates the car and is hysterical most of the time we are in the car. If it was just her I would say "suck it up" but she is a twin and they are waking multiple times a night. The lack of sleep but caring for them and a 3 year old is tiring and I'm worried about having an accident as she is absolutely hysterical. It also upsets the other two and leaves my 3 year old in tears.

 

I won't turn her if it's unsafe but obviously the sooner the better. Hopefully it will actually make a difference, if it doesn't then I have no idea how to make her happy in the car.

 

Before we go anywhere she has a breastfeed, solid feed, clean nappy and she gets a toy in the car which are rotated for variety. I only go out between sleeps (they sleep in their cots) so she isn't tired either.

 

She is in a Safe and Sound Meridian AHR.

 

Thanks :)

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asignatureofthings

Me personally, 2yrs. But we don't use the car more than once a week, so am happy enough to put up with the crying in the car.

 

But if I were in your situation, I'd probably wait till 12mths, then see if I can push it to 18mths. There's no way I'd turn before 12mths though, no way.

 

Have you got a mirror she can look through? I have found having one helps a little for my girls who are rearfacing.

Edited by PippityRoo

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Sentient Puddle

Turning them wont magically make the hysteria stop. I would keep them rear facing as long as possible.

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*~dee~*

I turned my daughter at six months. That was the standard years ago. It's only changed to 12 months in recent years. My daughter was and still is wayyy over 100 percentile for height though. She grew out of her 0-4 carseat at 2 years.

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matt1972

Our girl is 15 months and still rear facing.

She has moments in the car but nothing like what you are describing.

Has she always been like this or is it new?

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Pooks_

Legally you must rear face until 6 months, so you can turn her now and see if it makes any difference to her behaviour in the car. If it does, and that makes you a safer driver, then forward facing may on balance be safer. If not, then turn her rear facing again.

 

I had a screamer too and I know how dangerous it can be to try and drive while your ears are hurting, your heart is pounding and you're trying not to cry yourself. I live in the outer suburbs and we have to drive everywhere. Turning him helped enormously so you bet I turned him. I also found that playing kids music, a mirror for him to look at, and a dummy on a chain clipped to the car seat straps helped.

 

Turning them wont magically make the hysteria stop. I would keep them rear facing as long as possible.

 

Did for us, does for many. You won't know til you try.

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Sentient Puddle

I had a screamer Juniper. Turning her never worked - she still screamed! You can learn to just block it out and drive!

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Veritas Vinum Arte

Minimum 12m and 9kgs. The smallest test dummy the use FF is 9kgs.

 

Like PP I would be learning to block it out and continuing to RF to 18m minimum if possible. Yes I have had screamers. I know how to go to my internal happy space. Still works when the 3.5,6&8yos are fighting in the back.

 

 

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Tall Poppy

I had a screamer Juniper. Turning her never worked - she still screamed! You can learn to just block it out and drive!

I did as well and turned her at 12 months and it made no difference at all. She still now, even at 4 can scream during car trips & can't explain why. It isn't all the time just sometimes now though which is an improvement.

 

edit: typo

Edited by Tall Poppy

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Pooks_

I'm obviously just not as good a parent because I can't just block it out, it made me stay at home as much as possible in that first 6 months because I could not cope with it. He would vomit from distress and get marks on his shoulders from arching up while strapped in.

 

If turning doesn't make a difference, then don't. But if it does, and it's legal, then it is up to you to make that judgement as a parent what is the highest risk.

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Lucrezia Bauble

we turned on the dot of 6 months and not a moment too soon - he was a shocker - and now he is a delight. I dont drive but DH reckoned that driving with him howling non stop would be akin to driving under the influence - and to hose down the perfect parent brigade - he doesnt KNOW what driving drunk is like, he has never done it - he THINKS it would be the same.

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liveworkplay

For me, as close to 12kg as possible. DD1 was a screamer. Luckily we didn't own a car at the time so her car trips were few and far between but it didn't matter if she was forward or reverse facing, she scremed for the entire journey.

 

I get sleep deprivation (more then you will ever know!) and upsetting the other kids, but she is a tiny 10 mths old in weight terms, I would be trying to hold out for a little while yet.

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Let-it-go

I'm obviously just not as good a parent because I can't just block it out, it made me stay at home as much as possible in that first 6 months because I could not cope with it. He would vomit from distress and get marks on his shoulders from arching up while strapped in.

 

If turning doesn't make a difference, then don't. But if it does, and it's legal, then it is up to you to make that judgement as a parent what is the highest risk.

 

I am one of those bad parents too then. From memory I turned DD around 10mo. It was unbearable and I figured the chances of me having an accident while I leaned back desperately trying to find a dummy were so high that I needed to do something. She was a big baby though.

 

Screaming stopped immediately. Happy ever since in the car.

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TotesFeral

I wouldn't turn before 12 months. I'd try everything possible before having to turn before then for a screamer.

DD was shocking on trips longer than 5-10 minutes. We turned her at 12 months and she still hated the car. Has only recently gotten better because she'll watch movies now and talk to us.

DS is so much more relaxed and I'll keep him rear facing for as long as he can, I just cant imagine him FF.

 

I'd try the mirror OP. Perhaps something that she doesn't normally get to play with as well.

 

I understand that sometimes the screaming just can't be blocked out but they are so so much safer being RF. So if you can, try to persist with it.

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*mylittleprince*

Thanks. I'll hold off till 9kg then and give it a try. If it doesn't make an immediate difference will turn her back again and see what happens.

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asignatureofthings

It's not entirely their weight that plays a part in their safety, it's mostly their neck & neck muscles. As well as the size of their head, compared to their little body.

 

The longer you keep them RF, the more chance you give their necks to get stronger. So turning just because your baby is big, shouldn't be an excuse (unless of course the seat your child is in, has been outgrown).

 

Does that make sense?

 

It's just that a lot of parents use the excuse of baby being big enough, that since their baby is 9/10/11kg at a young age (well under 12mths), they could cope & be safe turning forward. It's not true, it's their necks that you need to be more concerned about.

 

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liveworkplay
Tune it out hey? I've seen some crap advice before but that one takes the prize.

 

You obviously haven't been aorund EB long enough :ninja:

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Guest Sunnycat

Crap parent here too. DS was about 9 or 10 months old when we turned him. I didn't have a car but we used to visit my parents in DH's car once a week or so and he hour drive was horrendous and distressing to everyone. No car radio either. DS would vomit and get so distressed that he was just an empty shell of a baby upon arrival. I reckon he got car sick as he didn't like going backwards in the pram either.

 

Turning worked for us.

 

 

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FuzzyChocolateToes

I would struggle to block out the cries of a bub who always screamed in the car. She is over 6mo and 8kg (which is the minimum to turn to FF) so I would give it a try. If it doesn't help, then turn her back.

 

Obviously RF as long as possible is best. But you need to be able to drive safely too.

Edited by ednaboo
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Tall Poppy

I'm obviously just not as good a parent because I can't just block it out, it made me stay at home as much as possible in that first 6 months because I could not cope with it. He would vomit from distress and get marks on his shoulders from arching up while strapped in.

 

If turning doesn't make a difference, then don't. But if it does, and it's legal, then it is up to you to make that judgement as a parent what is the highest risk.

I wasn't suggesting that you or anyone else is 'not as good a parent' rather, there could be other reasons as to why the child is distressed in the vehicle.

 

I have a friend whose baby likes travelling in one of their cars but, not their other vehicle. In this instance it is clearly easy to rectify but, is something strange that they'll never know why. Funny things, babies. If someone could work them out they'd make a fortune.

 

MLNB - Of course, you apply it to the 3 year old. All day, every day, even when not in the car. 3 year olds are the most annoying, babies & toddlers are a breeze by comparison.

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MuddyPuddles

I'm all for extended rear facing, but its not always going to be the best option (like breast isnt always best in every single circumstance).

 

If the screaming makes you more likely to get in an accident in the first place and having her forward facing stops that, I would do it at the legal age/weight. If it were me I would give it a try and if it didnt work I'd put her back RF.

Edited by JBaby
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SpunkyMonkey88

Legal age is 6month in WA. I would check your state's laws.

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PocketIcikleflakes

 

 

Hi, I turned DS at seven months and it did work like a charm.

 

I must add though that DS's car issue was related to silent reflux. We stopped using the capsule early on as the cramped up position was really uncomfortable for him as he grew, the fixed rf car seat was better but still not great. Most car travel was better once the losec kicked in too. I feel part of the issue was that when seats are rfing they are also more reclined and the combination of that and his knees raised squished his tummy.

 

I hadn't planned to turn him then but I didn't want to put him through any more reflux pain.

 

There can be any number of things that cause babies issues in cars. I guess so long as you are meeting legal requirements you just need to make a judgment call of what will be safest for you?

Edited by pocketmoney
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CrankyM

Are you sure it isn't the seat? I didn't turn mine until 12 months and 24 months respectively when they each hit 12kg. R was a screamer. But he was fine in the other car, so I figured it was the seat. The meridian is a hot seat that could be very uncomfortable for her, is there any other seat you could try rfing? A friend has the same issues with that seat, replaced it with a different one and bub was fine. Just something that it could be.

 

As for screaming in the car, I hate it but mine are worse now at 3 and 4.5 then they were as littlies.

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ineedmorecoffee

We turned dd forward at 18 months and she started to get scared because she could see where we were going and think it felt too fast for her :laugh:

 

Op I would try ff to see if it helps, if not then you can always switch.

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