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TheFirstNoel

HB questions (homebirth section)

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TheFirstNoel

Hi ladies,

 

I'm contemplating choosing a homebirth and I have a few questions! They are probably very naive questions but please be nice! :D

 

DH is fairly on board with a home birth. By that I mean, he supports it in principle but he's not 100% sure on how it will actually work practically in our situation. I'm not 100% on it myself yet. I think the most compelling argument for him (well for both of us really!) is that we would reduce the risk of a side-of-the-road birth - which my last birth very nearly was. We pulled up at the hospital at 8.01 (at the wrong entrance!) and DS was born at 8.18 - at the other end of the hospital.

 

So,

 

What about the mess?

 

What about the other children?

 

Where in the house did the 'action' happen? (I'm telling DH that it's likely bathroom so mess on tiles is easily cleaned - he's worried and is saying garage! :lol: somewhat tongue in cheek ;) )

 

Is HB a good idea if you're renting?

 

 

Anything else I need to know/consider?

 

Thanks!!

 

 

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ekbaby

Mess- there really wasn't much at all. Will you be using a birth pool? A lot of homebirth midwives or homebirth hospital schemes provide these included or for a small extra fee.

 

We just got a sheet of plastic to put under the birth pool in case of splashes/leaks. And a bit of plastic to put under the bed, for after the birth (then made it up with sheets etc on top, just older sheets. Some of those bedwetting products might be useful too, or a few "blueys". But really, there wasn't that much mess- and if you were going home within the first few days of birth anyway, you might need a bit of extra stuff on the bed in case of lochia leakage anyway).

 

Other children you have a few different options. We had our 3yo present for the birth - prepared him beforehand about what to expect (read books, watched videos, talked with midwife etc). Most people plan to have a support person for their children if their children are going to be present- someone who can totally focus on the kids (if they want food, are bored etc) and can take them away if they decide they don't want to be there or get scared. DS2's birth was pretty quick so our support people didn't get there in time but DS1 was fine.

 

Other people prefer to birth free of distractions or don't want their kids there so arrange for them to go to someone else's place- same as with hospital birth. It might be good having a few different options up your sleeve (also time of day might make a difference)

 

We are in a unit so the birth happened in the lounge room in the birth pool. Sometimes you might plan for it to happen somewhere but then mum might be really comfortable in the bathroom or whatever so it just happens where it happens!

 

There really isn't much mess at all. It's not like the exorcist! It's good to have a stash of old towels handy. If it all happens really fast just put a couple of towels down under you it will be fine.

 

Our place is all carpet and there were no stains or anything. Kids make a lot more mess with their everyday living (food, dirt etc) than birth!

 

Heaps of people birth in rented places.

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deejie

Perfectly logical questions! :)

 

For us:

 

Mess-- there was none. We had a birth pool, which I was going to use theoretically, but DS2 made his arrival a bit quicker than anticipated and DH was still filling it up. I had purchased two enormous blue plastic tarps which were spread on the floor of the main bedroom (the birth pool was also in there). I also had a pile of old towels and sheets on standby for the "mess", which my lovely midwife cleaned up. She left us tucked up in bed, towels in the washing machine, tarps wiped down and folded away.

 

Other children-- I was personally uncomfortable having then 2.5 year old DS1 at the birth. At 2.5, I wasn't sure he would understand the concept and therefore would be stressed at seeing his mother in obvious discomfort. It was also a mental thing for me, I don't think I would have been able to concentrate on labour worrying about DS1 in the house and if he was okay. We had a range of back-up plans for him that involved him being out of the house, depending on when DS2 decided to make his appearance. Other women I know have had their children at the birth, or in the house with a care person to look after them. It comes down to what you feel comfortable with.

 

The "action" ( :lol: ) : main bedroom for us. Easy access to the shower in the ensuite, plenty of room for the birth pool, our nice big comfy bed to rest on if I felt I needed it.

 

Renting-- we are renting and birthed at home. We didn't tell the landlord as I believe it was none of their business what we do in the house as long as it isn't illegal and we take good care of the premises.

 

I do wonder if the worry about "mess" is a man thing? My DH was also worried about the "mess", especially given the renting aspect. I think there are many preconceived ideas about enormously messy births, but in reality, there was actually very little to clean up and from my understanding, private midwives will do that for you.

 

Good luck OP :)

 

 

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TheFirstNoel

Thanks for your replies Deejie and Ekbaby, might get DH to read them re: mess!

 

I'm really not sure about a birth pool, I've only ever used the shower in my previous births - and then not for all that long - so I'm not too sure it's a must have for me, if that makes sense?

 

Anyway, a few more things to sort before I see if I'm eligible for a spot anyway!

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*angelmama*

Mess - DS2 was born on the toilet so that took care of any mess. DS3 & 4, we put plastic dropsheets on the lounge room floor and layered them under sheets on the futon but the only mess was the amniotic fluid and that was caught on a towel or two.

 

I labour and birth really fast too (my last was under an hour of established labour) so I understand being concerned about a roadside birth. It's such a relief to not have to worry about getting to the hospital in time (although I have to say, I didn't want to go anywhere in the last couple of weeks in case I couldn't get home in time!).

 

All the best.

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*angelmama*

Oh, and as for other children, the older kids all slept through our homebirths (they really wanted to see but it all happened so quickly we didn't have time to wake them), with the exception of the last birth where DS1 was the only one to not fall back asleep. He just sat on the lounge and watched in amazement. We watched a lot of youtube videos, read homebirth picture books, and looked at their own birth photos in the lead up.

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HighlandPinky

Mess - DS4 was born on my armchair (fast labour, no time for pool.....midwive ran through the door as his head was crowning).....Dh put a tarp underneath me before my waters broke, and i had a towel wrapped around me, and another one underneath me. The towels were ruined (Don't use your good ones, even if you think you'll be ok!). Mess was all contained in the tarp, really, so it was just picked up, along with the contents, and chucked in the bin i think!

 

DD2 was born in a birthing pool, so all the mess contained in there. Dh and my midwife took care of all of that. FWIW, i didn't find my waterbirth to be any better or less painful than my 5 land births, so IMO, it's not really the be all and end all (i know i'm probably in the minority though).

 

Kids - With DS4, the kids were around me as i was in labour. DD1 and DS3 went to bed about half an hour before he was born, DS1 and DS2 watched the action, and they were fine. (DS1 was 5, and DS2 was 4 at the time).

 

When DD2 was born the kids were around for pretty much the whole time. They weren't too bothered with me, and i'm happy for the noise to continue (i'm not keen on silence and darkness in labour). All 5 of them stayed to watch her being born...i wouldn't have had it any other way!! They were 6.5, 5.5, 4.5, nearly 3 and 18 months old.

 

Action - Both of my births happened in the sitting room. We don't really have enough room anywhere else, so there wasn't really another option, unless i wanted to birth outside, or take up pretty much all of the kitchen.

 

Renting - We are renting, but renting from my parents, so a bit different. Obviously they knew what was going to happen, but if i were renting from a stranger, i wouldn't have minded, and wouldn't have told them

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TheFirstNoel

Wow, so many responses, thanks! I loved reading your stories! I'll come back to do a thorough response as soon as I can.

 

FP, we have a pretty thick skin already, comes with the crazy homeschooler badge :lol:

 

Anyway I had a scan today & aparently my dates were wrong, I'm nearly a month further along than I thought! :D

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tick

My DD2 was born on the living room couch on a bunch of towels and a brolly sheet. Apart from the towels etc, there was no mess! My waters broke by the fire, I walked around the place heaps, got in and out of the birth pool, but really, there was no mess at all. No floors needed wiping, nothing like that! I had a huge pile of tarps that we never even opened.

 

I didn't have plans for DD1 to go elsewhere, in fact I wanted her around at least partially because I didn't want to tell another living soul that I was in labour unless I absolutely had to! Some members of the family were dead against the home birth and I just didn't want anyone knowing what went on until after the fact.

 

Anyway after pre-labouring all day long, it kicked in properly once I had gotten DD1 to bed. She was almost 3 years old at the time. I laboured through the night, she woke up at one point but went back to sleep with DH (who was her support person, I didn't want him supporting me). They both woke at about 7am and DD2 was born at 7:30am so they saw the whole thing. DD1 wasn't fazed by it at all, we had read hello baby and other such books together and she just took it in her stride. To this day though she likes to play "midwives" with her friends and tell them all about how babies are born, complete with stories of blood, guts and vaginas!

 

 

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deejie
To this day though she likes to play "midwives" with her friends and tell them all about how babies are born, complete with stories of blood, guts and vaginas!

 

I can just see her doing that :lol:

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TheFirstNoel
:lol: aahh yes, the Anti- Homeschooler Rant :rofl: It goes well with the anti home birthing rants :rofl: We are multitasking = we can horrify and disgust in one hit! :D

 

:lol: I always knew I'd bring destruction upon society somehow...

 

 

Tick - that's a lovely story! Oh I wish I had a fireplace... maybe the landlord will put one in in the next few months? :tongue:

 

So I talked about all your 'mess' responses with DH and he seems to be ok with it! He agreed that our bedroom which opens straight to the bathroom is probably the best place, which also gives the kids & support people the rest of the house at the other end. He's pretty adamant that he doesn't want the older children in the room during though, so we'll have to see what we think about that as time goes on. To be honest I much prefer a very small, select crowd (DH & midwife) and I think that the older children might be distracting... Anyway, it's not something we need to decide on right now. And even if they're not witness to the actual birth they'll be able to meet their new sibling immediately!

 

Who to ask as a support person... hmmm. I'm thinking of my best friend, and maybe my SIL. I'd ask my MIL but she has made it clear in the past that she doesn't want to attend any births thankyouverymuch! Lol, maybe if she was confined to caring for her grandchildren in another room she'd be ok?

 

The easiest way would be if I just laboured and birthed overnight while the kids were sleeping, can I put my order in now? :D

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~Rose~

This is a little late... but hopefully your HB plans are going well :)

 

We had a birth pool also, so mess was very minimal. Biggest mess was my waters breaking in bed ... otherwise mess was a non issue.

 

Charlotte was baby #4 so we had plenty of spectators.. The older kids were beside themselves with excitement knowing they were going to watch her being born. Overall the kids were great. Dealt with it really well. Lots of questions, talking & touching which was exactly what I wanted. They still talk about it. We did lots of lead up work to the birth to help prepare them and we also had a Student Doula as a back up...but the kids did really well.

 

All the very best with your home birth plans. It is by far, the most amazingly, wonderful thing I've ever done!

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kabailz13

DD2 was born at 11ish in the morning, DS1 was at school and my bestie came and got DS1 and took him to daycare for photos and then had him there for a few more hours before DH went and picked him up.

 

Mess - I laboured and birthed in a birthpool in our dining room and then DH emptied it along with the mess :) I birthed the placenta about an hour after she was born straight into the ice cream container that my midwife brought with her (she took it home too).

 

Renters here as well - I have no idea if the owners ever found out but it's not something that I feel that I have to share as a tenant.

 

I would LOVE to have another homebirth - is that a good enough reason to have #6??? :p

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kabailz13
:lol: definitely!! :D

 

You are terrible encouragement!!

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TheFirstNoel

Thanks so much ladies!

 

Got a call yesterday that I'm accepted into the homebirth program! Excited! The midwife sounded really sweet on the phone, looking forward to meeting her in person.

 

DH was starting to waver on having a HB, I had some bleeding and he was worried. We agreed that we can always transfer if there seems to be a problem. He's happy now though, and more importantly happy that I'm happy.

 

Still not sure who to ask to support my olders... but plenty of time to think about it.

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Corella

How exciting!! Homebirths are awesome.

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