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penguin03

Will spilt and stepkids is this fair

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penguin03

I just want to get other peoples opinions if you see this as fair me and the hubby were talking about what would happened if we both died and how we would seperate the money i suggested that it would be 40% each for our children together and 20% to my step daughter as she would also stand to inherit a amount should her mother pass where our children together would only get the percentage we give them , he doesnt see it as fair am i being unreasonable , we both work full time and contribute to our house and mortage together

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Twinmum+2

That is exactly what we did too. Because of the fact my girls from my first marriage will inherit from their Dad as well so giving them an equal share of my inheritance would mean my boys miss out on their fair share. We talked to the girls about it and they understood and were fine. They are old enough to understand the reasoning though. But surely your DH is too?

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Back Again

Equal shares only as it's fair. They may never get an inheritance from the other parent, who knows what the future holds.

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Charlies Angel

I agree with Capsicum Baby. Despite your "logic" you are actually valuing one child less than the other two.

 

When you married your husband, you knew that he already had a child. You accepted the package deal. It's not worth causing a hurtful rift betwen you and your husband or step-child.

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Lou-bags

I would personally not take into consideration what the step daughter may or may not inherit from her mother (or anyone else for that matter), and would split evenly amongst the three children. That's her mother's concern.

 

I agree with your DH, equal shares is fair.

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remlab

I think it is only fair that your children together receive a bigger portion than your partner and his ex's daughter together. As she also stands to inherit from her mother.

 

I know of a family where the woman's parents had their grandson(her son) live with them, so the woman was cut out of her parents will completely.

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seayork2002

If the children are treated equally in the family now why should they be treated differently then???

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nasty snaugh

I say equal shares for all.

Anything could happen in your step-child's life. What if her Mum leaves nothing? Or partners with someone who already has 4 or 5 kids?

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LynnyP

Fair split I think. However I stand to receive a quarter of my mother's eventual (very small) estate with my brother getting the rest as I have a greater capacity to earn than he does. I think this is fair and have suggested it. So along those lines, if your step daughter is a Murdoch, then making changes is probably equitable. If you are just talking ordinary family money, I would think equal shares is fair.

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Holidayromp

So one child is essentially in a position to double dip leaving the other two with lesser amounts. Doesn't sound fair to me.

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littleboysmum

Equal shares in my opinion.

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DanceMom

I would give each child equal shares. My parents are divorced and remarried to new partners both with kids of their own. In my mum and stepdads case, they are splitting everything equally between the 4 kids (they married when I was already an adult). My father and stepmum, father took everything into their marriage (house that my parents bought together) but her adult kids will get everything when they pass.

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Not Escapin Xmas

Equal shares. There has to be some upside to your parents splitting up...

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Acidulous Osprey

The usual split is that you divide your estate in half and you leave your share evenly between your kids and he leaves his share evenly between his kids.

 

So yours is divided in two and his is divided in three. It is very unfair for your part of the estate to go to your stepchild unless that is what you want.

 

It's tricky considering what a stepchild might inherit from their parent. It cannot be considered to be double dipping IMO.

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Get*busy*livin

One of my family members has it set up like this.

 

 

50% of the assets belong to the Mother. Divide the 50% by how many children Mum has.

 

50% belongs to the father. Divide that 50% by how many children Dad has

 

In this scenario, Mum has 1 child and Dad has 2 child. (ie, one child is Dad's from a previous relationship)

 

So one child gets 75% and the other child (dad's from a previous relationship) gets 25%.

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cashmere

I think equal share is fair. Your husband must feel he us in a difficult situation to favour 2 of his children over a third.

If you inherit something from your parents then that should be passed on/ or trust set up to your 2 children with no issue IMO.

What if your DH dies before you? Will you inherit 100% of his estate? If so, how will you distribute that?

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Sixx

As the inheritance is from Both you and him then I would divide it amongst all children we had (biological, step or adopted) equally. That's the fair thing to do.

 

Scary really, I thought everyone would of thought that way...

Wouldn't call something like that double dipping

Edited by Fivebubs
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LynnyP

Actually the 50/50 split then devolved down does seem fair.

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Charlies Angel

 

So one child gets 75% and the other child (dad's from a previous relationship) gets 25%.

 

And nothing says 'we love you both equally' than a hard-nosed 'logical' approach like this.

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Holidayromp

The usual split is that you divide your estate in half and you leave your share evenly between your kids and he leaves his share evenly between his kids.

 

So yours is divided in two and his is divided in three. It is very unfair for your part of the estate to go to your stepchild unless that is what you want.

 

 

I agree why should a portion of your estate go towards a stepchild? Just because you are contributing towards their upbringing doesn't have them automatically qualify for a portion of your estate.

Also I am assuming if hubby dies first his portion will go to you and when you die you could opt to leave the lot to your own kids leaving the stepchild out altogether

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JRA

The other thing is that generally both parents aren't going to die at the same time (one hopes).

 

So if you die, are your leaving everything to your dh, and vice versa?

 

Only then when the second parent dies, some time later, would the children inherit.

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Holidayromp

Also does the step child live with you full time?

Or is it a weekend here and there?

It could well put your children's noses out of joint to have a chunk of the estate and one of which holds a lot of special memories for a half sibling that flits in and out of their lives.

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Acidulous Osprey

Why should a stepchild inherit from three or four parents? How is that fair to the other children of the relationships?

 

And yes some of us do apply hard cold logic to decisions around wills because we care about the kids of the second marriage. I want my assets to go to my children, not to the child of my partner's first marriage. And there is absolutely nothing wrong or immoral about that.

 

Other people will feel differently if their situation is different. If I had raised my stepdaughter as a parent or had a warm relationship with her, I might feel differently.

 

(And yes I know that some members will remember that our wills on the surface are spectacularly unfair to my stepdaughter but our situation is also very diffficult)

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ImpatientAnna

I think equal shares. We have 3 kids. 2 are mine and DHs and the other is my DSS. DSS' mum only has him and is fairly asset wealthy so if we split equally among ours and then he inherits again as an only child yeah he will end up a long way ahead but for me that doesn't outweigh the importance of him knowing he is an equal part of our family.

 

The bigger conundrum for us is DH is significantly older than me and will 'likely' go first. I want DSS to inherit at that point so he knows he is taken care of at that point but don't know how to make it fair.....

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Sixx

Equal shares. There has to be some upside to your parents splitting up...

 

Lol good point

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